A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 47
Experimental Puberty

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The four of us didn’t do too much talking on the boat ride back.  Jose offered refreshments but no one was in a mood for eating.  When Gladstone dropped us off at his big house, the goodbyes were brief.

Sammantha told him, “Just forget about it, Gladstone.  As far as I’m concerned, we went for a dive and nothing else happened.  Derrek and I need to finish our trip.”

Gladstone nodded.  “Hope you enjoy it.  You have a fine boy.”

Penelope gave me a final kiss goodbye on the cheek and waved her fingers, while I waved a hand in return.

The rest of the afternoon was spent doing typical touristy stuff and browsing along  downtown Charlotte Amalie’s streets and through their souvenir shops.  Blackbeard’s tower was an interesting stop.  Supposedly, the pirate built and used it as a lookout tower.

We both liked the island and agreed that it was a nice vacation destination for us folks from Buffalo who view each approaching winter storm as potentially an ‘extinction’ event.  Everyone knows where they were, and how they survived (if they did) the winter storm called ‘Elliott’ which hit during Christmas week of December, 2022.  We laugh that the weather service needed a cute name for a blizzard, like they do for hurricanes.

Sammantha picked out a restaurant noted for its Jamaican cuisine and we ordered ‘mocktails’ for our beverages (cocktails without the alcohol).  We spent dinner talking over plans for the next day.

“Sweety, I would really like to ‘try out’ your body as a fourteen-year-old.”

I chortled, “Try out?  That sounds kinky, so count me in.  I was wondering why you were asking me not to add the teaspoons of water to my daily ‘youth’ regimen.”

“It’s just while we’re on vacation.  When we fly home, the airline will expect to see me accompanied by a ‘ten’.”

“I think it’s going to be weird for me, Mom.  ‘Fourteen’ will put me on the north side of puberty.”

“Very true, sweety.  You haven’t had hair on your putz for quite awhile.”

I laughed.  “On my putz?  I’m sure ‘Precious’ would get a kick out of that line.”

“Did you enjoy that evening … having an imaginary vagina?”

“Well, truthfully, it was a nightmare.  I can’t imagine going through life with a hole between my legs, and every male knows it … and wants to fuck it, like Putz did.”

“So you did learn a little about how I feel every day.”

“Yeah, but you’re different, Mom.  Like you did with Gladstone, anyone who tries to rape you is going to end up with crushed testicles.”

“Not so.  I still have to watch out for gangs … or maybe some guy with a taser.”

“Or being hit on by a group of middle-school boys like when I was Precious.  Mom, the boys don’t look at my face.  They look at my boobs first and then they look at the spot where there’s a hole between my legs and start plotting how they can ‘get to it’.  If I was in an elevator, I would feel so scared and vulnerable standing next to a male.  He could push the emergency stop and hit me in the face.  I wouldn’t have a chance.  But with you … the guy would be putting his hands over his balls and praying you were in a good mood.”

“That’s only one part of the drudgery of being female.”

“Oh, yeah … shark week.  When I was in middle school, the guys used to laugh about it all the time.  I would hate being a girl and having a red mess to deal with, one week a month.  I think your curse is worse than mine.  Having a vagina is such a horrible thing to be stuck with … and it’s a one-shot deal.  Once you’ve got one, you’re stuck with it for life and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Sweety, you won’t get an argument from me.”

“I think I better understand now why the Hooey sisters spent so much time plotting to butcher penises.  And they wanted to build a statue to Lorena Bobbitt.  They hated males more than you do.”

“Who are they?”

“The old ladies I met at the Olive Garden.   So Mom, why do you really want me to be fourteen?  My voice will probably change too.  That’s going to be weird.”

“Well, last night I talked to you about one of my bucket list items.”

“You mean having sex underwater?”

“Uh huh.”

“But Mom, do you really still want to do it after what happened this morning?”

“Let me tell you something, sweety … Gladstone Point DuJour was nothing more than a pimple on my ass.  I told you I wanted to do it with the man I love … and you know who that is.”

I felt dreamy-eyed again.  “Mom, that really gives me the ‘warm fuzzies’ when you say that.  Sometimes I feel that I want to be your lover, but I’m just not worthy.  I’m just … just me.”

“You said it in a nutshell, sweety.  That’s what separates you from a person like Gladstone.  I don’t need a big-shot.  I just want someone with a good heart … and since I found him, I won’t let him go.”

I sighed, “Wow.”

“Be sure to add a few water drops before bedtime.  I don’t want you racing past fourteen.”

“But couldn’t I get your pregnant at fourteen?”

“Derrek, I’ve been on the pill since before we started dating.” 

Back at our hotel room, we just relaxed and, since using the hotel pool wasn’t one of our options, watched TV till we got tired.  On vacation, we used one king bed and had naked sleepovers every night.

But this night wasn’t quite the same.  My eyelids literally popped wide open at 3am.   I knew something was wrong with me.  My skin felt prickly, all over my body.  I felt adrenaline pumping fast … with chills racing down my spine.  All the blood in my body seemed to be headed in one direction … toward my groin.  I felt like I was going to have a heart attack … in my penis.

I wondered if I should just lie there and do nothing … and just try to get through these internal nervous vibrations that are giving me such a ‘buzz’.  My penis hurt. I reached to touch it.  To my horror it was way too big, swollen with blood.  Is it because I crossed the line into puberty too quickly?

There was no question in my mind what I had to do.  These feelings were instinctive even if I had never before, been subject to such a painful condition.  There was no time to lose … I had to do it … I had to fuck something.

I quickly needed to locate something to fuck.  Mom was nearby.  That’s it!  I’ll fuck Mom.

Not so politely, I plopped my full, heavier, fourteen year old body on top of hers.  Our weights must have been fairly similar by now.

“Ooooooaaaafff!” she exhaled with force.  She must not have been expecting me to do a cannonball on her body.

My swollen member plunged between her legs trying desperately to locate a hole.

“Derrek?  What the hell?” she grunted.  (She sounded very annoyed.)

“I have to fuck you, Mommy!” I yelled at her.

With Sammantha’s enormous strength, she placed the palms of hands underneath my chest and thrust upward tossing all of me back to my original spot next to her on the king bed.

“Mommy, I need to fuck you now!’ I repeated.  “I need to fuck something!”

“Go fuck bunny rabbit,” she yelled back in the darkened room.

I was appalled by her suggestion.  “Mother!  Are you suggesting bestiality?”

“Then go fuck yourself, Derrek.”

“Mother!” I voiced loudly.  “What you’re suggesting is an anatomical impossibility.”

She turned sideways, facing me even though we couldn’t see each other.  “Derrek, what the hell is your problem?”

“I think I’m having a bad trip into puberty.”

She reached over and grabbed my cock and uttered, “Holy shit, you’ve got blue balls.  Half your body must be bloated with testosterone.”

“Huh?”

“Derrek, on the previous occasions when you returned from age regression, did you ever stop at fourteen, or did you always continue on to an adult?”

“I never stopped before for anything.”

“Oh Christ … You told me that you first got semen at the age of thirteen.  So now, your body must think it’s been building up semen for an entire year.  You need to ejaculate badly.”

This time, I said it quietly.  “That’s why I need to fuck you, Mommy.”

“Shut up, Derrek,” she scolded.  “Lie down, put your hands under your butt, and I’ll give you a hand job.”

“But I would rather fuck you … Oww!”

Sammantha indicated her displeasure at my remark by twisting my nipple.

“Do as you’re told, Derrek”

“Should I turn on a light, Mom?”

“I think I can find a giant cock in the dark if you don’t squirm around … I’m going to start slowly because the head of your penis must be really sensitive right now.”

“Yeah, that’s what Peepee the Clown is saying,”

“Are you talking like this just to annoy me?   Take some slow deep breaths and just let nature take its course here.”

Sammantha’s hand pumps did not feel good to me.  It reminded me of when you tickle someone for too long, the tickling becomes painful.  The buildup of whatever was going on inside me was tremendous.  I knew I was only seconds away from exploding.

My legs stiffened … followed by the rest of my body.  But something wasn’t right.  My prostate had pressed the launch button, but the engine didn’t ignite.  The thick ‘whatever’ was blocked up in my urethra.  If it didn’t happen soon, I’d be on my way to the ER.

“Push harder, Derrek!”

“Like my penis is having a baby?! … Ughhhh … The Hooey sisters must have designed this torture.”

I had to try one more time with my signature vocalism.  Tarzan had his call.  I had mine.

Okay, big push now … “No!  No!  No!  No!  Nooooooooooo!”

I didn’t just cum.  The resulting detonation was the combined work of Robert Oppenheimer and Albert Einstein … and I wasn’t sure if any particles of my body would be left behind for identification. 

I couldn’t tell if I had blacked out.  The room was dark and Sammantha said nothing, but I could hear myself still breathing and that was a good sign.

I spoke first.  “Mom, do you think we should call housekeeping?”

“No wait till morning.  Do you feel better now, sweety?”

“Oh, much.”

“Are you sure you came, Derrek?  There’s only a couple drops on the tip of your penis.  I’m feeling around and there’s no mess anywhere.  Are you sure you didn’t just imagine this whole thing was happening?”

“Mom, it was the biggest explosion of my life.  You were right.  My balls were deep blue.  I shot out enough cum to fill up a fish tank.”

“If I see fish in the morning, I’ll believe you … Now go back to sleep.”

(Note to self:  On the way back from age regression, don’t stop at fourteen.)

The next morning, with the drapes still drawn, it took a while for enough light to seep in to make the room visible again.

But when I did open my eyes, I saw something hideous.  It startled me.  And I wasn’t sure if it was a living creature.