A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 57
Freaky Friday (3) – Dominance

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With a cross expression, I stated, “My point is … Would you like me to explain the reason why a grownup should be in charge of a young child?”

Sam put a hand under his chin and thought it over.  He nodded.  “You’re right, Derrek, that is a good point.  Perhaps an explanation would be in order here.”

Without warning, a one-sided kick-boxing match ensued.  Sam balled his fists and delivered a walloping punch to my right breast with his right hand and a second jolting punch to my left breast with his left.  It was a one-two combination that I was totally unprepared for.  His punches were delivered soundly, with follow-through, and they moved me back several steps with my cry of ‘Ooooomph’.

The two punches partially knocked the wind out of me, and my hands immediately went to cover my painful breasts.  They hurt bad.

But Sammantha, the eleven year old boy, wasn’t done.  I couldn’t believe it when he followed up his punches with a swift kick to my cunt … another 50 yard field goal.  I fell to the floor, now clutching for my vagina.

Practically in tears, I wailed out, “Why would you do that?!  I don’t even have any testicles.”

He asked disdainfully, “Did it hurt, Derrek?”

“Hell yeah it did.”

“Then that’s why I did it.  You know I’m a dirty fighter.”

I whined, “And what happened to these ‘iron boobs’ you were supposed to have?”

“You’re just a wimp, Derrek.  Those blows wouldn’t have bothered me at all.  Walk it off.”

Being on the floor, Sam stood over me and then turned to grab another handful of clothes.  He left the room, leaving me to ‘lick my wounds’.  I felt so ashamed of myself that I would let a little boy beat me up like that, especially since I was now supposedly the strongest woman in the world.

My vagina was really sore.  I didn’t like my vagina.  I rubbed it through my shorts and lamented why it hurt so much when I didn’t even have any testicles.  The boy had really bruised my breasts too, and they were tender to the touch.  I think he purposely attacked my ‘sexual’ parts to re-enforce his dominance as the male.

As I contemplated my situation, I remembered that there was an ‘equalizer’ present that could help me turn things around … the sorority paddle in the other bedroom.  I wasn’t fond of using it.  When I looked at Sam, I was looking at my own eleven-year-old face and I really wanted to ‘like’ this boy.  Yes, he was cute, but his behavior was not.  And if I didn’t take care of it now, it would only get worse.

I exited into the hallway and down a few steps to the master bedroom.  Sam wasn’t in the room.  That was fine.  I walked to the closet and reached up for the paddle.  My hand felt around the shelf.  What?  The paddle wasn’t there.  It was missing.

That was odd.  “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!”

“Oh my freaking god!  Sam!  My butt is burning!!  It’s still burning!!  Where did you find the paddle?!  It hurts like hell!!  Why did you do that?!”

I crumpled to the floor rubbing my flaming bottom.  “Ohhhhhhhh,” I moaned … while the boy stood over me and smirked.

“Gee, I wonder what you were looking for in the closet, Derrek?  Were you planning to swat me with this paddle?  Isn’t it weird how I’m always one step ahead of you?  … that I would think to hide it in the bathroom on my last pass down the hallway?”

I cried out, “My rear end is still burning.  You really hurt me, Sam.  I just wanted to hold the paddle.”

“Bullshit, Derrek.  You need to learn to behave yourself.  I shouldn’t have to keep repeating my instructions to you.  But let me give you something to take your mind off your flaming ass.”

Since I was laying on my stomach on the carpeted floor, Sam had no trouble reaching down and around my left foot and locking up his fingers.

“Do you know what this is, Derrek?”

I grunted, “Yes, it’s Kurt Angle’s famous ankle lock, so now I have to wonder if you’re going to break my ankle next.”

“There won’t be any need to break your ankle if you just repeat the following words …’Sam, I give you my word that I will obey you’.”

I tried to negotiate.  “Why can’t we just be equal partners like we were in St. Thomas?”

“We’re not equals, Derrek.  You know that.”

“But-- … “Owwwwwwwwww!  You’re twisting my ankle!”

“No shit, Sherlock.  I’m still waiting for you to say it.”

“I just want a little bit of fairness … Owwwwwwwww!  Stop!  You really are going to break it.”

“I’m listening.”

Sam ratcheted up the torque and I pounded my fist on the carpet.  “Okay!  Okay!  Sam, I give you my word that I will obey you.”

The boy released his hold but held onto the paddle.  “See, that wasn’t hard.  Now the first thing you can do is take your girly stuff back to your own room.

I struggled to stand and then grabbed the panties and sports bras from the drawer.  I limped back to the smaller bedroom, but didn’t return for the next load.  I felt awful, both from pain and from humiliation.  I curled up on the bed in a fetal position and cried, unable to understand why a person in my own boy body would be so mean to me.

Sam returned a few times to pick up the last of the boy clothes.  He saw me crying and casually remarked, “There’s no rush to get your stuff out of the big room, Derrek.  But don’t forget about it.”

No, I didn’t forget about it.  I was just mulling over in my mind an alternative next move … using a weapon that was far more powerful than the sorority paddle.  After all the abuse I’d taken from this little brat, I think it was time to get serious.

I went to get something out of the kitchen and then walked back to the larger bedroom. Sam looked relaxed, sitting up on the queen bed, playing with his new penis.  As I approached him, he had a question for me.

“What are you smiling about, Derrek?”

I played my ‘trump’ card, taking the object out of my back pocket and placing it on the night stand next to the bed.  This time it was I who spoke snidely.

“Karma just fucked you in the ass with a pitchfork … Checkmate, bitch.”

Sam looked at the plastic bottle of water and mumbled, “Oh, shit … Derrek, I was hoping that you wouldn’t resort to the ‘nuclear’ option.  But I must remind you that a few minutes ago you gave me your word that you would obey me.  And you and I have talked quite a bit in the past about the importance of keeping promises.”

“Consider this a proportional response, Sam.  This is my own method of fighting dirty.  A short time ago I constructed a very sturdy crib in the other room that’s been waiting patiently for another little baby to take his naps in.  And you might have a hard time playing with your penis if you’re not strong enough to take off your own diaper.  Not to worry … sucking on a binky can be just as much fun.”

Sam stopped playing with himself and exhaled deeply.  “I guess if it were a chess match, this is the point where I would tip over my king … You win, Derrek.  I’ll move my stuff back to the small bedroom.”

I continued, “Oh Sam, I’m also assigning you a bedtime of 8:30 … and you’ll drink milk at your meals.”

The boy quickly pulled his pants back up while grumbling, “And I suppose that now, you’ll want me to start calling you ‘Mommy’.”

I retorted, “’Mom’ will do just fine.”

The boy threw a hand in the air as he slid off the bed and yelled, “Fuck you, Derrek.”

I countered, “No … Fuck YOU, Sammantha.”

Well, I guess ‘fuck you sammantha’ must be the magic words because the power came back on.

Happily now, I dove onto the bed for the TV remote and pressed the power button noting, “We should check CNN for anymore Blob news.”  But the Blob was no longer the headline.

“Breaking news as we come on this morning …  A powerful electro-magnetic pulse, or EMP, stuck western New York and parts of Canada last night at 10:30 pm wiping out electrical power to most of the region.  Radio and television communications were temporarily disrupted, but fortunately, the pulse was not strong enough to fry computers and home appliances.  However, it did create a stunning aurora borealis in the northern skies that is seldom seen this far south.”

My jaw dropped.  “10:30 ?  That’s when our bodies were electrified by the lightning!”

My excitement was not shared by the boy.  He watched the TV, but he folded his arms across his chest, obviously bummed out by his demotion.

The CNN anchor continued.  “We turn now to Dr. Urban Zapp, professor of electro-magnetic compatibility engineering at Cornell University.  Dr. Zapp, what can you tell us about last night’s EMP event?”

“Well, this EMP was the result of solar activity.  Occasionally, the sun releases pent-up energy in the form of a solar flare, or CME, coronal mass ejection.  Satellites can often help us predict these up to 24 hours in advance, but not always, as was the case here.

(Anchor)  “How does this solar flare affect the earth?”

(Dr. Zapp)  “The CME sends a cloud of plasma that creates electro-magnetic currents both in the atmosphere and on the ground, which this time were confined mainly to the greater Buffalo, New York area.”

(Anchor)  “Dr. Zapp, can these EMP’s cause harm to human beings?”

(Dr. Zapp)  “Generally, no, but we have to keep in mind that during an EMP event, people should avoid direct contact with any live electrical conductor.  That would create a ‘damped sinusoidal wave’ which operates at the same frequencies as human brain waves.”

(Anchor)  “So what would happen to our brains in such a case?”

(Dr. Zapp)  “All the electrical synapses in a person’s brain could be transferred, in whole, someplace else.”

(Anchor)  “Someplace else where, doctor?”

(Dr. Zapp)  “Well, we don’t know that, because it’s never happened before.  For example, the odds of a person being hit by an EMP pulse and a bolt of lightning at the exact same moment in time are infinitesimally small.”

(Anchor)  “Hopefully then, we won’t need to worry about it.  Dr. Urban Zapp, thank you for joining us this morning on our program.  For more on this story, we turn now to Professor Phitsmay Mountachak, head of the Science Department right here at the University at Buffalo.  Professor Mountachak, what else can you tell us about this phenomenon?”

“Oh, it’s quite unusual.  The vortex formed after a giant plasma filament located at 55 degrees latitude broke off from the sun’s surface. While this is the first time we’ve observed anything quite like this, the National Center for Atmospheric Research says increased solar activity at that particular location is a common feature of the 11-year solar cycle, during which the sun builds up to “solar maximum,” flips its polarity, then resets to “solar minimum.” However, the scientific community doesn’t know why it happens or how it affects the reversal of the sun’s magnetic field. The sun is projected to reach its next solar maximum in 2024, so it’s entirely possible we’ll see more strange solar phenomena between now and then.”

Sammantha, now an eleven-year-old boy named Sam, turned and gave me a dirty look.  “Well, it looks like we’re stuck in our new bodies, Mommmeeeeeeeeee.”  His voice was dripping with angry sarcasm and he stormed out of the large bedroom with a drawer-full of boy clothes.

I stared forward blankly, wondering what it’s going to be like if I have to spend the rest of my life as a girl.  And what am I going to do with Samantha now?  Should I keep him at age eleven?  Should I let him be an adult man like I was as Derrek?  And who’s going to pay the bills if he can’t be a psychologist?

I remembered that we bought an adjustable base for this queen bed, so I used the control to move the pillow up to a ‘watch TV’ position.  For all the emotional turmoil this morning, at least, I thought … I was going to enjoy my new bed.

The CNN news show was still on with the same anchor.  “In other news today, the St. Thomas fraternity, I Phelta Thi, has been placed on probation by the dean of students at the University of the Virgin Islands.  This action stems from their so called ‘prank of the century’ where they placed a blob of their own semen on the ceiling of a hotel room, causing widespread panic when officials thought it might be the precursor to another global pandemic … and the governor of the island has announced that he is firing health inspector Obo Ononogbo.”

I shook my head.  It seems like ages ago that I was a fourteen year old boy who woke up with the greatest case of ‘blue balls’ in world history.  Sure, the Blob was mine, but I have to say ‘thank you,  I Phelta Thi’.

(Anchor)  “Sticking with St. Thomas Island, the Women of the Lord Convent has turned a skydiving accident into a big moneymaker.  Yesterday, a pair of nude skydivers were blown off course by the wind and, much to their dismay, accidentally landed on one of the nuns’ breakfast tables.  In a mad scramble to escape, the male was grabbed by his penis by Sister Aurora Archangel who tried mightily to rip off the offending organ from the young man’s body.  Well, that video has now gone viral on Youtube, generating over 100 million hits and a good amount of advertising revenue for the sister and her sisters.  I just can’t imagine how that poor guy would have felt this morning had he awoken without his penis.”