A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 88
CHAPTER 188 .......... Naked Pics

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CHAPTER  188

“Derrek,” said Coach Parker, “you can walk with me down to our locker room now.  I’ve called a team meeting.”

(That was close.  Finally, I could breathe easier.  Principal Paningbaton had me really scared, and I was thinking that I probably should have listened to Sammantha.)

Down in our football locker room, we met the other four assistant coaches and my 14 teammates.

The coach stated, “Men, I have some very bad news for you.”

Captain Dilinger X VonChompion quickly interrupted.  “Coach, if it’s about strangers looking at our dicks coming out of the shower, no one on this team gives a fuck.  I’ve already taken a poll.  So we can get back to preparing for our next opponent, Jack The Ripper Middle School.”

“Is that how the rest of you really feel?” the coach asked the team.

There were some nods and some murmurs of ‘yeah’ and that was about it.  I had nothing to say since I never used the shower.

As we departed, X whispered to me, “Derrek, I will never underestimate you again.”

Back in our ‘delayed’ homeroom, Starline bumped into me and whispered, “I never thought you’d go ‘nuclear’, but good job.”

“Did the cops knock on your door at 1:00 am?” I asked her.

“Oh, they did, and I was damn scarred shitless, too.  I thought I would be the one going to jail and then I’d want to kill you.  I was going to finish what Sally started, except I wouldn’t miss … but I was relieved when the cops told me that it was Kitti who gave them my name and not you.  All the cops did was delete the video.  I didn’t forward it to anyone … and you just took my phone into the boys’ bathroom cuz you wanted to pee on it.”

“Yes, that’s exactly right.  I have some strange fetishes and I just had to pee on your phone.  But then I cleaned it off before I gave it back.  So Starline … you won’t tell anyone that you think I might have sent the email?”

“What email?”

If Kitti Power was seeking attention, I’m sure this was not the kind she had in mind.  Virtually everyone in the middle school, and probably the high school too, was talking about her … more specifically, about her voluptuous nude form. 

The jibber jabber from the boys was especially crude and several students were imitating the ‘Green Green Grass’ dance that Kitti was performing in the email video.

My two friends said little about it, and neither did I.  Although Hoshiko did ask me if I knew if I was in Kitti’s video.  I just said, “I’m not concerned.”  I couldn’t tell her that I never use the shower room.

I had no reason to gloat.  It was just something I had to do after she attacked my teammates.  And I almost felt sorry for Kitti … almost but not really.

In first period Math, the P.A. system came on as soon as the bell rung:  “This is Principal Glass.  I just want to inform everyone that the police completed their work very rapidly after the anonymous whistle blower email was posted last night at 11 pm.  To our knowledge, all of the offending videos have been deleted.  If you know the identity behind the whistle blower, Nancy Drew, please let us know.”

The P.A. concluded for everyone else in the school, but not for our Math classroom.

“Mr. Victum?”

“Yes.”

“Could you send our three class officers down to my office, please?”

“Certainly.”

“Are we in trouble, Darakatoms?”

“It’s not likely, Hoshi.  I believe that Dr. Glass trusts us.”

Upon arriving, the principal asked us to take seats in her office.  (I had been sitting here in the same seat just a few minutes earlier when I arrived at the school.  But I wasn’t as scared this time.)

She smiled at us.  “It’s good to see the three of you begin your tenure as class officers … and yes, Derrek, I will seriously consider dropping the hazing ritural after Mr. Torrain and Coach Parker’s unfortunate altercation.”

“It’s not their first, Dr. Glass,” I replied.  “They seriously don’t like each other.”

“Yes, that’s quite apparent, Derrek.  I have a few questions for the three of you.  Did you all see the two emails last night at 11 pm?”

We all nodded.

“Does anyone know who sent the Nancy Drew email that showed Kitti Power’s naked body?”

We all shook our heads.

“That’s okay.  I wouldn’t expect you to know since that video was taken by a high school girl in their locker room … But I have another question for you.” 

The principal’s face quickly brightened and she leaned forward from her desk.  “How would the three of you like to be on television?”

We looked at each othe with puzzled expressions.  I was concerned that it might involve something very embarrassing.  Madeline was the first to reply.

“Doing what?” she asked.

“It’s easy,” replied the principal.  “You would be answering questions on the Saturday afternoon quiz show on Channel 7 … Academic Inanity.  We’ve been fortunate enough to have been invited to participate as a three-student panel against one of our arch rivals … John Wayne Gacy Middle School.”

I asked, “But shouldn’t there be a competition with other classmates so we find the three smartest students in our grade?”

“No,” the principal flatly stated.  “This is part of your reward for volunteering to run for office.  No one else cared.  No one else showed ambition.  So congratulations on being selected to represent our school.”  

Hoshiko nudged me.  “Darakatoms, should we say thank you?”

Dr. Glass answered, “There’s no need.  Just dress up nice and be at the Channel 7 studios downtown by 10 am on Saturday for the taping.  The show will be broadcast at 5 pm.  This will give you an opportunity to prove once again, that Jerry Sandusky is better than John Wayne Gacy.”

“Dr. Glass,” I asked, “do we need to study for this?”

“Oh no, Derrek.  These will just be general knowledge questions.  I’m sure you’ll make fine representatives of our school.  Derrek, you’ll sit in the center as team captain …And your math teacher, Mr. Victum, will serve as your faculty team coach.  He’s done this before.  Good luck to all of you!”

Monday’s chatter carried into the lunch period.  The football players would never be serious about an event like Kitti’s videos.

Goro chortled, “Hey Putz!  With your package, you could be a movie star.”

“Or at least a porn star,” added Showkat.

Greywolf commented, “There were no boners in Kitti’s video so what was she trying to prove?”

“It was just revenge,” said Big-O.  “We all cheered when Derrek stuck his tongue down her throat.”

“And we should give Derrek another big hand for that!” said Batty.  “The bitch deserved it!  Great job Mr. President!”

All at the teammate table clapped for me, though I didn’t need it.  I asked, “Did any of your guys have to jack off at your sports physical?”

“No,” they all answered.

“Did any of you have Kitti Power stick her finger up your ass to make you cum some more?”

“No,” they murmured.

“Then Kitti’s getting what she deserves,” I added.  “Fuck HER and the horse she rode in on.”

“You nailed it!” said Randy.  “I’m gonna plaster pics of Kitti’s naked booty all over my room.  Pussy Galore never looked so good.”

Randy, himself, probably didn’t know that Pussy Galore was a character in a James Bond movie, but the name still fit for this occasion.  Then Randy got out of his seat and started dancing to the tune Kitti used in the video … “Green green grass, blue blue sky, you better throw a party on the day that I die.”

I managed to get through Monday classes and football practice without anyone nailing me for the Nancy Drew email.  I had taken quite a risk but I think it was worth it to literally expose Kitti the way I did and bring her down.  The superintendent was correct when he said she was evil.

Back at home, I filled Sammantha in on all the day’s happenings.

“You’re damn lucky if you skated on this one,” she admonished me.  “I’m glad you got Kitti.  I still remember what she and Chikon did to my bedroom.  But the jeopardy you put yourself in … I don’t think it was worth the risk because the nude video of Kitti was a person under 18.  So you could have gotten yourself in the same hot water with the police that the girl is in.  I hope this episode is over for you.”

“I think it is, Mom.  Oh, and Maddie and Hoshi and me are going to be on television this Saturday on the Academic Inanity show.”

“Oh really?” she responded.  “I can’t believe that garbage show is still allowed to air.  Are they going to ask you anything other than about penises and vaginas?”

“I suppose, Mom.  They’ll probably ask about clitorises and blow jobs too.”

“Well, for middle schoolers, that’s pretty disgusting.”

“We have to be at Channel 7 on Saturady at 10 am.  And can you pick up Maddie and Hoshi too?   Major’s our coach.  Maybe he can bring Shilo along.”

“Sweety, we also received another school email.”

“I’m starting to hate those, Mom.”

“Oh, this one’s a snap … another Friday activity, but this time you don’t have to wear a dress.”

Dear parents and students,

This Friday will be our annual ‘Little Buddy’ day.  To give kindergarteners a sneak peak at middle school life, each seventh grader will be assigned a little buddy to escort throughout the day.  You will take him or her to all of your classes and your lunch period, where a pizza, burgers, and fries lunch will be served, free for all.  But behave.  Don’t let it turn into a free-for-all.

In the classrooms, you can sit or stand around your school desks or have your little buddy sit on your lap.  Seventh grade boys are cautioned, however, not to let your little buddy sit on your lap if you (the seventh grade boy) start to develop an erection.

Always accompany your little buddy to the restroom.  If male, you are not required to hold your little buddy’s penis when he pees, but please insure that he either taps or shakes afterward.

Also, do not sodomize your little buddy.  I realize some of those activities took place on Empathy Day, but they are not appropriate with five-year-olds.  And don’t teach them how to masturbate.  And don’t expose them to your genitals and/or breasts even if they ask.    Their organs are very small and seeing yours might give them feelings of inferiority.  We look forward to every student’s participation.

                     Dr. Tiffany Glass, Principal … Jerry Sandusky Middle School

I looked up at Sammantha.  “Mom, after reading the principal’s email, is it any wonder that she wants our school to participate in Academic Inanity?