A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 86
CHAPTER 186 .......... Dinner With Shilo

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CHAPTER  186

Shilo’s final roll had a little too much velocity and it slipped into the right gutter, forcing her to settle for a final score of 290.  Before I could even open my mouth, she answered my question.

“Yes, Derreksan, I pulled my punch because I didn’t want to attract the attention of others in the facility.”

I nodded.  “That’s fair.  Thanks for treating us.”

“We should really thank Major,” she replied, “and I want to say one more thing to Hoshko.”

“Yes?” the girl looked up with bright eyes.

“Hoshiko, you are a terrible bowler.”

We all cracked up laughing because we knew the AI was being sarcastic and was trying so hard to improve her sense of humor.  To be sure, Hoshiko laughed too.

“You did say that you would be honest with me, Shilo,” the girl replied.

When we returned to the parking lot, we saw that Sammantha’s Porsche was partially blocked by a car that had its four-way flashers on.  We waited for a minute and the driver still had not returned.

Our AI had an idea.  “Godmother, normally I would do this without asking, but would it be okay if I gently repositioned the offending car?”

Sammantha answered, “Yes, but could you please ‘gently’ put it back in the same spot after I pull out?”

“Of course, Godmother.”

I blurted out, “Make sure there’s no one watching!”  It could be fun hanging with a super hero but we still needed to keep it a secret.

Shilo lengthened her arms (part of her ‘Inspector Gadget’ abilities) and reached under the bumper and lifted the other car by its axles.  She slid the vehicle diagonally a few feet away till Sammantha could back out.  Then she slid it back and we piled back into the Porsche.

“Can I ride shotgun this time?” I asked Shilo.

“Yes, please do, Derreksan.”

Madeline sounded annoyed.  “Why are you switching seats, Derrek?”

Shilo answered for me.  “Perhaps Derreksan no longer wishes for you to stimulate his testicles.”

It was the truth, but boy, did that cause an awkward moment which endured through the next sixty seconds of silence.  I think we were all embarrassed that Hoshiko had to hear that. How did Shilo know about that anyway? 

I’m trying to think … When I had sex with Shilo, wasn’t there a moment when I thought she had eyes in the back of her head.  I just couldn’t see them.  I’ll need to have a talk with her about what ‘not to say’ and when not to say it.”

On Hoshiko’s suggestion, we had dinner at a Japanese buffet.  She tried to teach us how to eat a crab … the whole animal.  Because of our clumsiness, the Americans at our table, three of us, thought it was really disgusting and we had about as much success eating it as we had at bowling.

Shilo wasn’t eating, and the annoyed owner of the restaurant kept warning her, “If I see you take one bite from someone else’s plate, you will pay full price $23.  Do you understand?”

Shilo placed both palms together and slightly bowed her head in a respectful manner.  “I understand.”

After the owner walked away, she told us, “Now you can see why Major and I do not go out to dinner.”

I had to remind her, “But Shilo, this was great.  You passed yourself off as a real human … not just your head, but your whole body.”

“Darakatoms, what do you mean by ‘not just your head’?”

I looked across the table.  “Mom, do you want to tell Hoshi about the time she brought my homework to the apartment?”

Sammantha frowned.  “I was hoping to avoid the subject … maybe forever.”

“No, tell me, Dr. Adams!  Please!  I want to hear!”

“Well, I’m afraid we tricked you, Hoshiko.  Major had come over that evening and he didn’t exactly bring all of Shilo with him … just a very intelligent talking head.  So for ten minutes you had a very pleasant conversation in Japanese with Shilo’s head.  I was holding it up by the back hair.”

“Wait!  What?!”  Hoshiko blurted out.

Sammantha confessed, “That’s all I could do at that moment, Hoshi.  But if I had accidently dropped Shilo’s head on the floor, you would have freaked out something awful.”

The AI gave the girl a nudge with her elbow.  “Looking back now, Hoshiko, I would see much humor in our meeting.  So do not feel insulted.  Can you make up humor in Japanese?

The girl thought up a quick comeback line … “Mama-san wa, tsukenaito jibun no atama o wasureteshimau to itta.  (My mother told me that I would forget my own head if it wasn’t tacked on.)

When we returned to Major’s house, we told him everything … Hoshiko’s ‘sister’ discovery, the near perfect bowling score, the lifting of a car, and the annoyed restaurant owner.

Major nodded his approval.  “I felt that with Sammantha in charge, Shilo wouldn’t cause too much mayhem.  Getting out from under my constant shadow was a great step for her to take toward her independence … but let’s try to stay away from superhuman feats of strength like lifting cars.”

Shilo explained, “We made sure no one was around, Major.”

“Yes, but most establishments have security cameras now and I think you’d be happiest if you could just blend in with humanity.”

I added, “Major means that you wouldn’t like it if people knew you were not human and treated you as a freak.”

“Mr. Victum,” said Hoshiko, “did you know that Shilo’s creator is my honorable papasan?”

“He did tell me that, Hoshiko.  I didn’t see any reason to hold it back from you for the entire school year.”

The girl continued, “We all want to see the movie ‘The Creator’ now.  We believe it will show one scenario of war between AI’s and humans.”

Shilo stated, “I promise I won’t try to destroy humanity after seeing the movie.”

Major nodded.  “I’ll get back to you on that.  I first want to see what ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ has to say about it.”

HOSHIKO SENDS AN EMAIL TO HER FATHER IN JAPAN

Dear Papasan,

I had my most exciting week of school.  Darakatoms asked Madeline and me to run in an election with him to become class officers of the seventh grade.  He is a great leader and he made the best speech to our classmates that I have ever heard.

We won the election.  Darakatoms is president, Madeline is vice president, and I am the treasurer who counts money.  My first assignment will be to collect money to help dogs and cats who run away.   The teachers gave Darakatoms an initiation by spanking his posterior with a meter stick.  I do not understand American culture.

But now, more classmates want to talk to me.  More girls are sitting at our lunch table and asking me about life in Japan.  I am much happier now than in my first week of school.

There is something else very important that I must tell you.  Today, I met your creation, my electronic AI sister, Shilo.  She is very nice and very strong.  You did a very good job designing her.  She can lift up a car and lives with my Math teacher, Mr. Victum.  We all went to bowling.

We may soon be going to see the AI movie ‘The Creator’.   Shilo promised not to destroy humanity after watching the movie.

Love, Hoshiko

HOSHIKO’S FATHER RESPONDS

Dear Hoshiko,

We are very proud of the progress you have made at your American school.  Winning an elected position is a high honor and you must take your role seriously.  You are fortunate to have made such good friends in Darakatoms and Madeline.

I am surprised that you have encountered the AI, Shilo, at the beginning of her field testing with legs.  I have asked your teacher, Mr. Victum to keep her advanced abilities a secret and allow her to blend in with humans gradually.  She should not be lifting cars in public.

This AI is not your sister.  She is a mobile computer and many others like her will be assembled.  However, as a self-aware, or ‘sentient’ being, she must be treated with dignity.  I am not worried that she would want to destroy humanity after watching a movie.  I am much more concerned with humans who would try to install a virus or malware into her program.

Your mother and I wish you well,

Love, Papasan

I spent the next day with sweaty palms, nervous about my expected email that Marlan Gopee would distribute throughout the school district by way of secret chanels.  I knew that I was taking a big risk but I trusted Marlans’s skillset.

“So Mom, do you think my inclusion of a video of Kitti qualifies as a ‘proportional response’?”

Sammantha shook her head.  “Derrek, if it’s as bad as I think, then you went way overboard.  You could have just given the evidence to the principal or superintendent.  But if you wind up in jail, I might still come to visit you on weekends.”

“Now I’m even more nervous, Mom.”

“You should be.  I wish you would have talked to me first.  If you can’t trust me, sweety, then what good is our relationship?”

(I was filled with regret.  Sammantha was right.  Not confiding in her made me feel like a heel.  I’d have to try to reagain her trust some other way.)

For now, what was done, was done … and at precisely 11 p.m., the little bell rang on her laptop.  She clicked on the email and started reading.

Dear parents and students,

This is Detective Nancy Drew.  The purpose of this email to inform you that a henous crime has been committed in our school district by one of our female high school students.