A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 57
CHAPTER 157 .......... My Date With Putz – Part Four

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CHAPTER  157

“I’m researching them as part of my bar mitzvah project.  So when I do my speech, instead of talking about old bible stories, I’ll talk about comedians.  And if not comedians, then I’ll talk about sex.  That’s one of the advantages of belonging to a reformed temple.”

I nodded.  “I think I’d like to go if you’d invite me.”

“Of course I’m inviting you, Precious.  And I’m also inviting the Derrek Adams kid too.  You know him?”

“I believe I do, yes.”

“And all my football teammates … and Madeline and Hoshiko.”

“Are you inviting your Dad’s partner, Daniel?”

“Probably.”

“So does he like working with Daniel?”

“Yeah, but he wasn’t too thrilled when Daniel ran away two years ago with the skank secretary that he was banging on his desk.”

(To be extra mean at this moment, I waited till Putz was gulping down a mouthful of root beer.)

“Well, Putz … How was Yolanda when you were banging her?”

*** PFFFFFFFFFTHTHTHTTTTTT!!! ***

Putz spit out his root beer all over the kitchen table, but he missed me.  He retreated to the sink to grab a roll of paper towels.

He gave me a strange look, and not a happy one.  “Who told you about that, Precious?”

I shrugged.  “A little birdie told me.”

“Uh huh … Well that skank, Yolanda, was one fucked up bitch.”

“Putz, everyone in my Biology Lab class knows that.”

“Really?  How?”

“Because she asked Starline’s grandpa to bang her too, on a business trip, before she joined your dad’s law firm.  But when her Grandma found out about it, she cut off Grandpa’s penis … and Starline accidentally dissected it as part of her class assignment.”

“Wow, Starline should have dissected Yolanda, too.”

“So could you shoot cum when you were ten?”

“Not till eleven.”

“But do you still count it as the day you lost your virginity?”

“Precious, I didn’t lose my virginity at ten … I lost it at age six.”

That really threw me for a loop.  “What?!  How?!  With who?!”

“Rachel, of course.”

“But she had to be just eight at the time.”

“Obviously, you don’t know Rachel.  She was extremely sexually aggressive growing up and I was extremely curious.”

“Well, that’s a bad combination.”

“Some people might say that, Precious.  But for us, it was just what came naturally.”

“Incest?”

“Well, we never used that word.  We just call it ‘having fun’ or ‘messing around’.  As you’ve seen, Rachel and I have a very ‘snippy’ sibling rivalry.  Our personalities don’t mesh well, but we still love each other’s bodies.  I had so much fun when Rachel started growing her boobs.  I had two new play toys.”

“And your parents are okay with it?”

“Precious, that ship sailed long ago.  When my mom started bathing us together when I was one year old,  she was happy that we both loved playing in the tub together … And for a long time, Rachel and I took our bath together every night.  It was a ritual.”

By the time we were seven and five, we used to run to the tub right after dinner.  So while my mom was cleaning up the kitchen, she trusted Rachael enough to turn the water to the right temperature and prepare the soap and washcloths.  I just followed along.”

“So that was at ages seven and five.  What changed when you were eight and six?”

“Well, Mom was so thrilled that she had two mature kids who would take their baths without being told, that she gradually stopped supervising us.  After the baths, we would towel off and go to one of our bedrooms for some ‘naked’ play.  For us, it was totally normal to see each other nude every day.”

“And the sex?”

“Well Rachel liked to play with her pussy a lot, shoving things in it like a finger, a pencil, and anything else handy.  And she played with my boner too.  I used to get them all the time.  So when she was eight, she suggested that I try putting my extra ‘finger’ in her pussy.”

“And you went a long with it?”

“Of course.  We were both pretty clumsy at first, but after a while, I figured out that if I rubbed myself in and out of her pussy, it tickled.  And if I did it for several minutes, my dick would start throbbing, and that felt really good.”

“A dry ejaculation?”

“We didn’t know it at the time.  Then Rachel tried being on top and bouncing on me.”

“Did your parents ever catch you?”

“Mom caught us a few times, but we didn’t care.  She would lecture us on how our behavior was so inappropriate for a brother and sister.  We just smiled at her cuz we knew we weren’t going to listen to her.”

“But what did your dad say?”

“Nothing … Work was his department and the kids were Mom’s department.  He didn’t want anything to do with it … So around that time Rachel got tall enough to reach the shower head, so we switched from baths to showers, and that opened up another world for us.”

“Was it more fun than baths?”

“More fun, more serious, more intense sex.  That’s when I started becoming a horny little bastard … and Rachel was nearly as bad.  We loved the suds.  We loved groping each other’s body everywhere … and we started fucking in the shower.”

“But wasn’t your mom worried about all this?”

“Sure, but it was too late to change us now.  After a while, she just gave up and bought me a box of condoms and threatened to send me to boarding school if I ever got Rachel pregnant.”

I shook my head.  “Putz, I never knew that something like this was even possible.”

“Yeah, it is pretty weird.  Sometimes we get into a big fight over something really stupid and we end up swearing at each other and shoving … and then Rachel points at the stairs and says ‘shower?’.  And I say ‘sure’ … and then we go up and screw around in the shower.”

“Putz, you may have a hard time finding a wife who’s as much fun as your sister.  Would you ever consider marrying Rachel?”

“Uh uh, that’s where I’d draw the line.  She might continue to be a ‘friend with benefits’, but there’s some taboos that even I wouldn’t cross … Well, I’m stuffed.  You want any more pizza, Precious?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

“Okay, let’s clean up here and go upstairs to get changed for the hot tub.”

“Do you want to grab Rachel’s plate too?”

“Hell no, let her clean up her own mess.”

Putz closed his bedroom door and we started changing for the hot tub.  I quickly removed my dress, panties and pump shoes.  He paid me no attention as he’s already seen me nude plenty of times in the locker room.

“You won’t need that,” he told me.

I was somewhat surprised.  “No swim trunks?”

“Nope,” he replied … and then threw me a large towel.  “Hot tubs are made for skinny-dipping.  I set the temp for 100 degrees.  That’s perfect for longer stays … not too hot.”

So we threw the towels around our waists and went back downstairs and out the family room door to the back yard.  A small elevated deck surrounded the hot tub which enabled us to step down into the water … which I did so with a toe first.

Happily, I noted, “The mix is good.  There’s enough milk in it.”

This hot tub was a simple round structure that could seat up to six people.  I sat to Putz’s right and he immediately put his hand on my inner left thigh.  Tonight he could touch whatever he wanted.

“This is very relaxing,” I told him.

“Yeah, our whole family enjoys it,” he said while cupping my balls.  (That didn’t take long.)

“Do your parents skinnydip too?” I asked.

“Nope.  If they want to use it, then we all have to cover up,”  he said while petting my package.

Suddenly, something large splashed into the hot tub.

Putz released his hold on my member and nearly went ballistic.  “Jesus Christ, Rachel!!  You think this is a god damn mikvah?!!

When the splashing diminished, I was viewing the sister sitting across from me completely nude.  I guess that shouldn’t have surprised me.  Although Rachel’s physique wasn’t what I’d call modeling material, I thought she was pleasant enough to look at.

Since meeting Sammantha, I had seen my share of naked young nubiles, some at Pinelope’s nudie fest in St. Thomas and some in the women’s locker room when I had occupied a female body myself.

I hoped that Rachel wouldn’t be too insulted that my member didn’t rise to attention upon her entrance.  Her boobs were ‘okay’, and her body was attractive enough for a fourteen-year-old, but I wasn’t about to fall over myself paying her compliments.

I was, however, learning a lot of new vocabulary tonight.  “Hey, Putz, what’s a mikvah?”

“It’s like a car wash for pussies.  Jewish girls go there at the end of their period to clense their bodies and souls…. Unfortunately for my sister, that’s a hopeless case.”

“Shut up, Putz,” she retorted.  Then she leaned forward from her seat.  “Oh my god, Putz!  You’ve got no hair on your schmekel!  What happened?  Did you have an accident?”

“Yeah, I ran into a lawnmower.”

I shook my head.  “Wow, you guys sure have a lot of words for penis.”

“Putz nodded.  “Yeah, there’s also ‘shtekela’, which means a small stick … just more stuff for Jewish kids to feel guilty about.”

Rachel turned to me.  “And what about you, Precious?  Oh my god!  I didn’t know Precious had a penis.”

“Yes you did, idiot,” Putz snapped at his sister.”

“Precious, it looks like you’re circumcised.  Are you Jewish?”

I sassed, “No, Rachel, I’m a shiksa.”

“But you have no hair either, Precious.  Did you shave your muff, or have you just not reached puberty yet?  Well, anyway, your putz is a lot cuter than Putz’s putz.”

Putz raised his right hand and splashed a small tsunami of water in his sister’s face.  “Shut the fuck up, you inconsiderate cunt.”

Obviously, this sibling rivalry was heating up.