A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 84
CHAPTER 184 .......... Going Bowling

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CHAPTER  184

The rest of Thursday went fairly normal except that a good number of girls offered to rub down my butt to make it feel better.  They were quite serious, but I declined politely since it could be construed as a PDA, a public display of affection … which is a no-no in school.

Since we don’t have football practice on Thursdays, I made a special trip downstairs to see Coach Parker between periods.

“Coach, I want to thank you for saving my ass, literally, today up on the stage.”

The man sighed.  “Derrek, that man, Scarry Harry, has no business being in the field of education … and I’ll work with you if you want to try to end that insane hazing tradition.”

“Thanks.  I’d appreciate that, definitely.”

“And I’ll try to stay on the field for all four quarters this time.”

“So do you know anything about Vlad the Impaler School?”

“I know we’re going to kick their asses tomorrow.”

“I can promise you, Coach, you’ll have 15 players on the same page.”

“Hi Mom, I got paddled in school again today.”

“By Senorita Gato?”

“Nope, this time it was Scarry Harry.”

“Drop ‘em, mister.  I want to take a look myself.

I undid my buckle and mooned Sammantha.

She groaned, “Oh, sweety, how many blood vessels did he break, and how many swats did he give you?”

“Just one, Mom … but it could have been three if Coach Parker hadn’t tackled Harry on the stage.”

“The stage?  I thought you were supposed to be sworn in as class president.”

“Yeah, and that was part of it … a traditional school hazing ritual but I wouldn’t let him swat Madeline or Hoshiko.”

“Well, your galantry is to be commended, but what the hell is wrong with that school?”

“As class president, I’ll be working on some big changes.  It’s crazy how every kid says ‘hi’ to me in the hallways now.  And I always hated the ‘popular’ kids.”

“We all need our heroes, sweety.”

“That’s what X told me.”

Friday morning, first period Math class … Our instructor walked over to our side of the room.

“May I please see the class officers outside in the hallway?”

I retorted, “Not if you’re going to paddle us.”

“Paddling is not part of my curriculum, Derrek.”

I gave a hand signal for my cabinet to rise and follow me.

Mr. Victum closed the door behind us and I advised, “You better not take too long knowing Randy is in your room.”

“It’ll be just a sec … My friend Shilo asked me to ask you if the three of you would like to go bowling with her tomorrow afternoon.  She would pay for everything.”

Hoshiko immediately went bonkers and began jumping up and down on her tip toes yelling out, “Yes! yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”

I asked Major, “Does Shilo drive?”

“If necessary, I would drive you, but I’m sure you would have a lot more fun going with your mother, Sammantha … that is, if she’s willing.”

“Hold on,” I said.  “I’ll find out.” 

I took out my ‘flippy’ from my back pocket, and Hoshiko inquired, “You’re allowed to have a phone in school?”

I shrugged, and flippantly replied, “I’m the president.”

“Hey, Mom?  Shilo has asked if she can take the three ‘class officers’ bowling tomorrow … I don’t know, maybe 3 pm? … and we would all like you to join us in the fun … and not just because we want to hit you up to be the chauffer.”

“Shilo’s treating for dinner also,” said Major.

“Did you hear that, Mom? … You will? … Okay, great.  Bye.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” we all said to our teacher.

“You can thank Shilo tomorrow.  It was her idea.  Let’s get back in the room before Randy runs amuck.”

At 3 pm, two school busses loaded up and got on their way to Vlad the Impaler Middle School in south Buffalo.  The first bus had the players, coaches, and equipment.  The second bus carried Madeline and her cheerleader squad along with Hoshiko and any other interested students.

Jerry Sandusky Middle School traveled well, meaning most of the parents and friends of the players made the drive to attend the game.

We certainly spoiled our opponents homecoming game.  It was not surprising considering how seriously pissed off we were from having to wear girls’ clothes in our last game … on top of being ‘jobbed’ by the referees.

Coach Parker told us at the start that we weren’t going to punt today.  We would go for it on every fourth down no matter where we were in the field.  Big-O and Goro were the ‘road-graders’ and pummeled whoever got in their way.

This game was as close to a public mugging as one could imagine.  We were angry, so we beat the crap out of our opponents.  In the second half, most of the Vlad players only pretended to play football … preferring to stay out of our way to avoid more punishment.

In the middle of the fourth quarter the opposing coach conceded, pulling his team off the field.  By that point, we had scored nine touchdowns and they weren’t trying to stop us.

The game should have been called earlier.

We didn’t hoop or holler coming off the field … just went to the stands to thank the friends who drove to watch us play.  Then we got on the bus.

For the past hundred years or so, winning a game on the road sparked a traditional (and familiar) battle song once the bus driver put his vehicle in gear.  It was no different for us.

“We are Go Nads!   Mighty mighty Go Nads!

“Everywhere we go-ooooh, People want to know-oooo.”

“Who we ar-rrrrrrr,  So we tell them …

“We are Go Nads!   Mighty mighty Go Nads!

Sometimes the verse would carry a team all the way back to their home school.  They no longer sang ‘99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall’.   The lopsided 58 – 0 victory definitely put us in the driver’s seat toward the East Buffalo District league title with a 5 – 0 undefeated record.

On Saturday afternoon at 3 pm, we arrive to pick up Madeline at her parents’ home … and I received a ‘pda’ filled greeting … public displays of affection.  She bounded toward me and gave me a big squeeze, grabbing my sensitive butt hard.

This must have been because we weren’t in school and she no longer had to worry about protecting my innocence.  Madeline wrapped herself around me like a second coat.  Sammantha blew the horn when the girl put her tongue in my mouth.

“Sit in the back with me,” she practically ordered.

I understood perfectly now why Sammantha wanted to limit my sexual encounters with ‘Maddy’.  This child-sized grownup would have been all over me, all the time.  Hopefully, she was more mature at twelve than as the seven-year-old version of herself.  I just didn’t have the heart to push her away, since after all, she was my crush too.

I advised her, “You know we can’t be doing this when we pick up Hoshi.”

“I know,” the girl sighed.  “But for a few minutes, I’m going to have a ‘wandering hand’ problem.”

I nodded.  “Like when you reached inside the back of my hospital gown.”

“That was yummy.  I copped a feel when I still thought you were just a twelve-year-old boy.  I loved watching your eyelids peel back.  Nobody else saw it.  That was my first real flirt with you.”

A short time later, we arrived at the home of Hoshiko’s host family, Rollie and Wren Avon, a couple of empty-nesters in their sixties who wanted to add some ‘life’ to their home.

We exchanged pleasantries and they chatted about how rewarding it was hosting a foreign exchange student as nice as Hoshiko.  “It’s nice to finally meet Darakatoms and Madeline.  Every night at dinner, Hoshiko talks non-stop about the fun you three have together.”

I added, “Hoshi’s a big part of that,” and pointed to the front seat.  “Take the honors, Hoshiko.  You can ride shotgun.”

“No, Darakatoms, I know this is America, but I do not want to be the one holding the gun.”

“It’s just slang for front seat, Hoshi.”  (So now it’s sometimes Maddy and Hoshi, if they don’t object.)

The next stop was Major’s house and all of us got out of the car to greet Shilo.  They were both waiting for us on the front steps, and I was particularly interested in seeing how natural her movements were, now that she had legs.

Hoshiko really ‘lit up’ and ran to the AI to give her a big hug, with shouts of ‘konichiwa’! (hello).   Shilo looked human enough for now, but there were times when she made little nuances that appeared somewhat out of sync with the way a human would move or communicate. 

Since I was able to catch on quickly the first time I saw her face on Major’s laptop in school, it was just a matter of time before Maddy and Hoshi would catch on too … but that was okay.  It would be good experience for everyone.

Shilo looked great, and incredibly sexy, in her new pants … loose-fitting khakis that accentuated her slender figure, with hips that were only slightly wider than her waist.  Major did a great job in selecting her measurements (from the factory) and it was good that she wore no makeup or jewelry … a pleasant, understated appearance for a wanna-be human.

“If you kids don’t mind,” said Sammantha, “I would like the adult to ride shotgun this time.”

Hoshiko, holding Shilo’s hand explained, “Shotgun is American slang for front seat.”

The trio of seventh graders, one real and two fake, squeezed into the back seat … where I volunteered to be the one stuck in the middle.  Madeline was on my left, and just as I plopped my butt in the center seat, she put her flat right hand under me and I was forced to sit on it.  The girl had another ‘wandering hand’ problem.

My eyes gave her a ‘what are you doing’ look, but she just returned a sly smile … and she waited till Sammantha keyed the ignition … whereupon Madeline started using her fingernails to tickle my scrotum and squeeze my balls through the cloth of my pants.

Hoshiko, on my right, did not ask why I was squirming or why I was growing such an obvious boner.