A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 31
CHAPTER 131 .......... A Fateful Phone Call

Chapter Description: 2 new pictures added 10/20/23 Images for this story can be found at the following web...... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home

CHAPTER  131

“If I’m 28, then Mr. Victum knows that you’re not my dad, and Sammantha is not my mom.  He could blow the whole thing up and turn us in to the authorities.”

Daniel nodded.  “Then our problem is more than slight … But there’s not much we can do about it right now.”

“Dad, should we go back there now and beg him not to tell on us?”

“No way, Derrek.  That would just make things a lot worse in the present.  We don’t know that he’s going to do anything at all.  So let’s not create our own problems … Back to being dad and son, what would you like to do next?”

“Well, I used up all my zoo songs, so can we sneak onto the football field and play catch with the mini football I brought?”

“Why do we have to sneak?”

“Because I’m not sure if we’re allowed on it during the school day.  So let’s just do it anyway.  We’re not hurting anything.”

“Fine.”

I led Daniel to a particular location on the gridiron at the 20 yard line.  “Dad, this is the exact spot where I jumped up and intercepted the ball out of Mister Two’s hands.  It was the greatest sports moment of my life.”

“I know … I was there watching you, kid.”

“Let’s relive it.  Pretend you’re chasing me down to the goal line and the crowd is going nuts.”  (I started running.  My five-year-old legs couldn’t run quite as fast.)

“Derrek, no one was chasing you on your first interception.”

“But Mister 2 was chasing me on my second.  C’mon, run!”

It was a great feeling re-imagining the crowd and my teammates cheering me on.  When we got down to the ten yard line, I stopped and turned.

“Okay, this is where I shocked Mister 2 when I reversed course and bashed into his midsection and knocked the wind out of him.”

Being five, I couldn’t really knock down Daniel.  He just caught me and lifted me up, till we looked at each other eye-to-eye, six feet off the ground.

“Derrek, I hope you don’t do this much bragging in school.”

“Oh no, but thanks for running with me here.  Dad, can we go to the playground now, please?”

“Absolutely … What was the name of it?”

“Knob Hill Park.  It’s not very big but it’ll do.”

I burst out of the car and ran to central focus of the playground.  This was the multi-module plastic ‘do everything’ unit that has replaced the old time teeter totters and jungle gyms.  What I liked about being five is that all this equipment was a perfect match for my body size.  Daniel preferred to just stand back and watch.

“Daniel, are you ready to learn how to do a coregasm now?”

“Uh uh … No way.  But you can show me.  Are you saying this is how you jack off?”

“It’s probably the easiest way.  See, you grab a bar and raise your thighs like this to a 90 degree angle with your body.  Then you wait one minute and say ‘no no no no no’.”

“So when do you ejaculate?”

“I already did.  It felt good, and at age five, there’s no mess to clean up.  Let’s go to lunch.”

I enjoyed spending time having Daniel as my pretend dad.  He’s pretty easy-going and he took me to an ‘R’ rated movie in the afternoon before we headed home … and worked on a crossword puzzle together from the Washington Post.

Sammantha came home with a bucket of KFC and sides for dinner and I concluded that we were definitely a lazy family when it came to cooking.

She posed the question, “So how did the men in our little family enjoy their day?”

I blurted out, “My math teacher knows about my age regression, Mommy.  At least I’m glad I was able to play a few football games before being discovered.  I just hope we don’t have to go to jail.”

Sammantha sounded really bummed out.  “Sweety, what happened?”

“It’s my own fault, Mommy.  I made Daniel take me to the school for a visit figuring no one would recognize me as Derrek.  But Mr. Victum’s girlfriend turned out to be a freakin’ robot who used an age regression program to rat me out.”

Sammantha turned to her right.  “Daniel?”

“Sammantha, we don’t know for sure what the guy plans to do.  Maybe he’ll turn us in, and maybe he won’t.  As the saying goes, I think we should prepare for the worst and hope for the best.”

“Derrek, what do you mean by ‘his girlfriend is a robot’?”

“Mommy, I mean that she’s not a human being.  The other kids in the class might think so cuz she sure looks like one.  But she’s just some kind of super computer with a pretty face.  And now I’m ‘toast’.”

Sammantha folded her arms across her chest and thought about their options.  “Sweety, right now, there’s nothing much I can do about it.  Daniel’s right.  We don’t know if your teacher’s planning to take any action, so let’s not ‘poke the bear’.  We’re just going to have to wait and see.”

At that very moment, Sammantha’s cell phone starting ringing.  The sound of it made me very nervous because the last time I heard it, the social worker was calling while I was a nude girl, tied down on a table with my legs up in stirrups.

“What does the caller ID show?”  Daniel asked.

Sammantha answered, “Major Victum.”

All three of us froze while our eyes remained wide open.  Sammantha put the call on ‘speaker phone’ while she held up a finger to her lips with the ‘shoosh’ signal.

She took a deep breath and answered, “Hello?”

The man’s voice sounded cheerful.  “Hello Dr. Adams, this is Major Victum, Derrek’s math teacher from school.  I hope I’m not disturbing your dinner hour.”

She lied, “Oh no, you’re fine.  Go right ahead.”

“Thank you, Dr. Adams.  I first want to say how sorry I was to hear about Derrek’s incident yesterday and I want to express my hopes for his speedy recovery.”

“Thank you.”

“I also wanted to tell you how delighted the whole class was when your little neighbor boy, Johnny Meeks came to pay us a visit and let us know that Derrek would probably be back on Friday.”

“Yes, Johnny really looks up to Derrek.”

“I’m sure he does, Dr. Adams.  Listen, the main reason for my call is that I need to stop by your apartment for a few minutes tonight to give you a heads up on some of the curriculum changes in store for Derrek during the remainder of the semester … and it’s important that I talk to you about it in person.”

Sammantha hesitated.  “Umm … Does it have to be tonight, Mr. Victum?”

“Yes, it’s important that I talk to you about it tonight.  What would be a convenient time for you?”

“Umm … Maybe 7:30 ? … But I’m not letting any visitors in to see Derrek right now.”

“That’s perfectly fine, Dr. Adams.  I will arrive punctually at 7:30 pm. … Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

I looked up.  “Mommy, I think we’re up ‘shit creek’ without a paddle.”

Daniel gritted his teeth.  “Sammanth, I don’t like the smell of this ‘fish’ one bit.  What I’m sensing is that he’s going to try to target you and Derrek for extortion and blackmail.  Whatever happens, I want this resolved tonight before he leaves.”

“What should we do, Dad?”

“Well, I want Sammantha to keep her phone on the whole time to make a recording of all the conversations.  Derrek, you and I will hide in your bedroom with the door open a crack so that we can listen to whatevers going on.”

“Sounds good, Dad.”

“And the split second he suggests anything illegal, I burst out of the room and hold him down for the police.”

I tapped Daniel on his arm.  “Dad, Mommy has some quality handcuffs that she uses for sex.”

“Well, she hasn’t used them on me yet, but that’s a good idea to keep them handy for tonight.  Sammantha, do you think you can ‘play’ this guy for a while?  Don’t admit to anything.  Let him do all the talking.”

“Are you forgetting, Daniel?  I’m a professional psychologist.  I get paid to play people.”

I pulled on Sammantha’s sleeve.  “Mommy, can I say something?”

“Sure, sweety … What do you think?”

“Well, I know that Mr. Victum is kind of goofy and austro-bubbleish …”

“You mean ostrobogulous?”

“Yeah … He’s kind of a whack job … but I don’t think he’s a bad man.  He cares about his students even though they tease him.”

“I’ll definitely take that into consideration, sweety.  But for right now, do you want a drumstick or some other piece.”

“Always a drumstick, Mommy, you know that.”

At exactly 7:30 pm we heard a knock on our door.  Daniel and I ran into my bedroom.  Sammantha waited 20 seconds and then welcomed her guest.

“Are you going on vacation, Mr. Victum?”

“No, Ma’am.  My rolling carry-on bag has some math work in it that I’d like to show you.”

“Well, please do come in … and can I assume from word on the street, that your pipe has no actual tobacco in it?”

“You are correct, Dr. Adams … Can we talk at your dining room table?  And also, if it’s okay with you, I would prefer to use our first names, Sammantha and Major.  The word ‘victim’ sometimes carries negative connotations.”

“Of course … Major.”

“Sammantha, I’m going to open my suitcase on the floor.  Would you be okay if I put its contents on the dining room table?”

She thought that to be a rather odd question.   “Certainly, Major, as long as you’re not hauling around dead body parts.”

The teacher puffed on his fake pipe.  “I can assure you, Sammantha, that THIS body part … is very much alive.”

“Good eve—“

“AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh!!!!