Sam's Crawl To Adulthood

Chapter Description: Not everyone can just ignore the strange events leading up to Sam's disappearance. An old colleague of Jess saw too many coincidences and wanted to investigate. Meanwhile, Sam is trapped in a strange place. Seemingly halfway between adult and baby her mind is in turmoil.

This is a sequel to "Sam's Flight to Babyhood" which can be found here: https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/83013-sams-flight-to-babyhood/
 
The TLDR of that story: Sam was trapped in Europe after a vacation when the airline inexplicably changed the rules. Just as she was starting to panic she ran into a professor she knew from college, Jess Hughes, who helped her. Over the course of the flight it is revealed that this isn't the first time they've met. Prof. Hughes has, in fact, met Sam quite a few times and implanted hypnotic triggers into her head. By the time the plane lands Sam is little more than a baby as she is whisked off for a new life as Jess's helpless baby girl.
 
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Commissioned by: diaperboy187

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Sam’s Crawl to Adulthood

By Elfy

It was pouring with rain. The sound of wind howling and water hitting the windows was usually something Isabelle liked, it made her home feel all the more cosy, but tonight it seemed to just mirror the turmoil in her mind. She flicked through the file in front of her for what felt like the thousandth time. It may indeed have been a thousand times because she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Isabelle took a long drag on her cigarette. She didn’t smoke often but when she was feeling stressed she always found herself reaching for them. Despite her tough exterior she had spent the last year with her mind in a state of tumultuous disturbance. She looked up from the photo that haunted her mind and looked out at the stormy night. She stretched her neck and sighed.

Standing up Isabelle walked across the room to the mirror and looked at herself. She had seen better days and in the last year she seemed to have aged a decade. Her brown hair was starting to get stray greys despite only being in her late thirties and her eyes had deep bags underneath, a result of the lack of sleep every night for months.

Isabelle had worked for Professor Hughes until about eighteen months ago. The professor had run a laboratory experimenting with hypnotherapy and implanted messages. In other words Professor Hughes, or Jess as her co-workers knew her, was testing if she could influence behaviour by saying certain phrases. At first it had been fine, they’d tried a lot of techniques to try and help people do things like quit smoking or eat healthier. The results had been great and Isabelle had been proud of the work she was a part of.

Over time Isabelle noticed Jess’s priorities changed. She seemed to get a twisted idea that the things they were achieving in the lab should be put to the test in a bigger way. Professor Hughes wanted to regress someone, but more than that it seemed like she wanted to be able to regress them at will. She claimed it was beneficial for the person being “treated”, a kind of therapy, but Isabelle had always had doubts. Isabelle had been concerned but Jess’s earlier success had granted her some leeway. They started going through the process of asking for applicants but it seemed clear earlier on that Jess had one person in mind for her experiments.

Isabelle walked back to the table she had been sat at. The house was silent except for the weather outside and the ticking of an old clock in the corner of the room. She picked up the photo on top of the file. If she hadn’t known any better she would’ve thought the person she was looking at was a very young child. They certainly had the height of a child, a very young one at that. Despite being in college the woman in the photo looked more like she belonged in a nursery.

“Sam.” Isabelle said the woman’s name out loud, “I’m so sorry.”

Professor Hughes had brought Sam in one day and took a very personal interest in her. It soon became clear that Sam wasn’t just another participant in a trial, she was the only participant. Professor Hughes worked night and day crafting the triggers and training Sam to have the correct responses. Sam’s memory of these sessions were also hidden from her. The poor girl had no idea what they were doing.

These experiments were done out of hours and Isabelle joined just a few other assistants who Jess thought she could trust to keep the secret. Soon they were in too deep but nobody could pull away. Professor Hughes was well-respected and she had told them that if any of the assistants told the authorities they would be blackballed from the scientific community. Isabelle believed her. Clearly the others did too because no one said anything.

One day Jess Hughes didn’t turn up for work. Then she was absent the next day as well. It wasn’t normal for the professor to miss any work at all so people started to speculate. Isabelle tried to get in contact with Jess a few times but didn’t get any response. It wasn’t until another two days had passed that she finally received a reply.

“I’m fine.” Jess had written, “I will be back at work soon.”

That was that. Isabelle didn’t inquire further. Perhaps she was afraid of what the answer would be. She put her mind to rest as best she could and got on with her work around the laboratory. That was until she caught the local news one night.

“Sam, if you hear this, please know that we love you and we’re looking for you.” A tearful woman said. A man had her arm around her and was fighting desperately to maintain composure.

The picture they were showing on the television was the very Sam that had been in Professor Hughes’s experiments. Apparently she had gone missing in Europe. Isabelle immediately thought about Jess’s absence and felt suspicious.

Those suspicions only reached their peak when Jess returned to work and would say nothing about where she had been. One day Isabelle saw Jess buying baby formula at the campus supermarket and she straight up asked for the truth.

“Do you have Sam?” Isabelle asked in the middle of the aisle.

“Sam?” Jess replied with a frown, “But, Isabelle, that poor girl went missing on vacation.”

Jess had walked away leaving Isabelle speechless. She was at a loss for what to do, she had been heavily involved in the experiments that had left Sam vulnerable and now she felt sure Jess had her. But what could she do? Jess was a professor with published articles and industry respect. Isabelle had just been a no-name assistant. So she kept quiet and tried to forget.

Isabelle stayed vigilant and on some evenings after work she would sit in her car outside Jess’s house. What she was expecting or waiting for she wasn’t sure. She knew the professor was too smart to just walk out of the house with Sam. She wished she could just burst in there and check for herself.

On one evening as Isabelle sat in her car she saw Jess leave the house. She decided to follow her and ended up back at the supermarket where she had first confronted Jess. Staying at a distance she followed her all the way to the diaper aisle. Isabelle watched as Jess examined a couple of packets of baby diapers and then made her way back towards the checkouts. Yet again Isabelle felt compelled to stop Jess and interrogate her.

“Who are those for?” Isabelle asked as she stepped out from round the end of a shelf.

“Isabelle?” Jess had replied in shock, “What are you doing here?”

“Never mind that.” Isabelle shot back, “Who are those diapers for?”

“I donate them to the campus day care, if you must know.” Jess said coolly, “Goodness, this isn’t still about Sam is it?”

Isabelle stared in silence. Of course it was about Sam. Isabelle had been complicit in those experiments and she was sure her boss knew more than she was letting on about her disappearance.

“Isabelle, you have to move past this.” Jess said with a sympathetic smile as she reached out a hand and touched her shoulder, “Sam’s gone. It’s very sad but it’s not our fault.”

“Isn’t it?” Isabelle asked rather pointedly.

Jess sighed deeply but didn’t break eye contact. Isabelle saw her roll her eyes a little before she shook her head dismissively. Jess excused herself and then pushed past Isabelle as she continued to the checkouts.

The next day Isabelle had gone to the day care and asked about donations. The staff there were very confused and said they’ve never had donations of diapers or anything like that. To Isabelle it seemed like the final confirmation she needed. Jess was lying about something and she was sure it had something to do with Sam.

Unfortunately, before Isabelle could confront Jess about anything, Jess suddenly left her job and transferred to another college. Isabelle felt guilty but she was relieved. Her conscience had never let her forget what she had been a part of but now that the professor was moving away maybe she could finally move on. It didn’t work. Sam haunted Isabelle’s dreams and any time she wasn’t occupied she found herself thinking about her.

Isabelle dropped the photo and rubbed her eyes. It had been a long time since Jess had left the faculty but Isabelle still couldn’t forget about Sam. She couldn’t keep doing this. She picked up her phone and dialled a number. Enough was enough. Her guilt was eating her alive and there was only one way to fix things.

“Hello?” Isabelle said as soon as the phone on the other end was picked up, “Could you please give me any contact information you have for Professor Jess Hughes.”

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Sam had her thumb in her mouth as she was pushed through the gate to the large building with the big red door that she knew so well. It had been a staple of her life since Mommy had moved here. She liked it, there were lots of toys and friends to play with. She was sat back in her stroller wearing a pink dress that didn’t quite cover her ever-present diaper. The straps held her back as she looked around and saw some of the other babies she enjoyed playing with heading inside.

“Don’t suck your thumb, baby.” Mommy said, “That’s what your pacifier is for.”

Mommy reached around the back of the stroller and plucked Sam’s thumb from her mouth. For a few seconds she babbled in complaints until her little pink pacifier was pushed between her lips instead. It bobbed backwards and forwards as Sam sucked contentedly.

“Good girl.” Mommy praised Sam and the little baby beamed.

Sam was usually taken to the pre-school during the day when Mommy was working. As much as Sam hated to leave Mommy she always looked forwards to the going through those doors. It was perfect for a little girl such as herself. She remembered her first days there, she had been so nervous and had refused to play but Mommy had kept insisting. Sam remembered… She remembered…

Sam’s happy babbling stopped suddenly as she froze in place. This wasn’t right, none of this was right. It felt like the fog that had filled her brain lifted and she could glimpse the world for what it really was. She shouldn’t be sat in a stroller and going to pre-school, she was an adult woman who had been kidnapped! This woman pushing her wasn’t “Mommy” she was the kidnapper. Sam had to tell someone before…

“Hello, Sam!” Mrs. Webster, the custodian of the pre-school said as Sam was wheeled close, “Are you looking forward to playing with you little friends?”

The moment Sam’s flimsy concentration was broken she felt the fog returning to her brain. She screamed internally and tried to fight it off but just like a morning mist it was impossible to stop it from enveloping everything. Sam felt herself, her real adult self, being pushed back into the cage at the back of her mind and locked up. Just like that her brief period of lucidity had ended. They were getting shorter and harder to keep hold of all the time.

“Thank you, Helen.” Jess said as she rolled the stroller through the doors to the main play area. There were a lot of babies already there.

“Not a problem.” Helen Webster replied, “Sam’s always a pleasure to have with us.”

“I have to admit the on campus pre-school was a big factor in me coming to work here.” Jess walked around the stroller and kneeled down in front of Sam, “So helpful!”

Sam felt the straps around her small body get released and she was lifted up by Mommy. Her little arms and legs did their best to wrap around Mommy’s bigger body but it was the hand underneath her heavily padded butt that held Sam up.

Carrying Sam wasn’t a chore at all for Mommy or any other adult who wanted to pick her up. She had simply never really grown much since she was a baby, in fact it was generally just assumed she was a mere infant even though she was in her early twenties. It was something that had caused her a lot of consternation in her life when…

Sam shook her head and blinked a few times. It all came flooding back. Her time at college, the strange hypnosis and subliminal messaging, her vacation, the plane ride home and the woman holding her having kidnapped her!

“Alright, Sam, be a good girl and B E H A V E for Mommy, OK?” Mommy said with a smile.

Sam smiled around the pacifier clipped to the front of her dress and nodded her head causing her pigtails to bounce. She was set down on the floor and immediately crawled away from Mommy towards all the toys and her baby friends. She didn’t know it anymore but one of the triggers implanted in her before her kidnapping had been activated making her all the more pliable to Jess’s instructions.

The room was like a large hall that been converted into a nursery. There was plenty of space despite all the activities and toys available. It was a heaven for babies who saw endless amounts of fun to be had. Sam had been coming here for a year now and she still got excited when she looked around at all the bold and bright colours. There were so many toys to play with Sam still felt like there was a lot more to explore. She felt her diaper warming. That was something that happened often when she got excited…

“Have fun, baby!” Mommy called over as she waved and left the room.

Sam sat back on her freshly warmed diaper and waved goodbye before turning back over and hurrying further into the cavernous room. She crawled past the arts station, that was always very messy and Sam often ended up with more paint on herself than the paper. She crawled past the section set up for the kids to play house, somehow she always ended up playing the baby. Finally she reached where the other kids were gathered and where a lot of the toys were.

“Hi Tham!” Patty said as Sam crawled up next to her.

Patty was very grown up. She was almost potty trained and could talk, even if it was with a lisp thanks to her missing front teeth. Sam couldn’t talk, she could only babble. Yet, for some strange feeling, she felt like she hadn’t always been like that. Deep in her mind she thought she could remember talking, and talking like a grown-up like Mommy or Mrs. Webster.

“Want to play with the dollieth?” Patty asked.

Sam’s very brief introspection came to a halt as she was offered the chance to play. She loved to play and eagerly nodded to Patty who led her over to the big doll’s house in the corner. There were a lot of benefits to the on campus pre-school, students rarely had kids with them so there were always more toys than children. Sam wasn’t very good at counting but the room wasn’t too busy. Though there were still too many yucky boys for her liking!

For the next hour Sam got lost in a pretend world. She and Patty made elaborate little stories for their dolls and acted them out. If Sam was honest it was Patty coming up with the stories, Sam often had trouble thinking clearly with the fog in her brain and even if she did have an idea she couldn’t tell her friend. She couldn’t talk or write after all.

“Hello, are you two having fun?” Mrs. Webster crouched down next to the two girls.

“Yeth, Mith.” Patty lisped.

“Good, well, I don’t want to distract you for too long but I need to check Sam.” Mrs. Webster said with a smile.

Sam felt the back of her dress get lifted up and a large hand cupped the rear of her diaper. She waited, feeling impatient to get back playing as she was checked. The hand patted the front and then the teacher pulled the waistband back. Finally she let go but Sam wasn’t able to go back to the dolls.

“I think we need to change this wet little girl.” Mrs. Webster said.

Sam was lifted into the air. She started to whine and reach out for the dolls but Mrs. Webster kept a strong hold of her. She wriggled with no thought of what a fall from this height might do to her, she just wanted to play. Sam wasn’t the only child in the building to be in diapers, she knew that much, and there was a changing table that was fully stocked in a side room just off to the side. Sam wanted to tell Patty to wait for her but when she tried to speak she could only make unintelligible gibberish. Patty just smiled at her without comprehending a thing Sam tried to say.

Sam was taken into the smaller room and taken to the changing table. She was sat on the edge of the table with Mrs. Webster’s hand holding on to her front to not let her fall. The teacher unzipped the back of Sam’s dress and pulled it over her head leaving the small girl naked apart from her diaper.

“There’s no need to fuss.” Mrs. Webster said, “This will only take a minute and then you can go back to playing with your dollies.”

Sam was laid back and the tapes of her disposable were pulled off. She looked up at the ceiling as she was changed. This was a process she was used to and she knew her input wasn’t needed. Instead she looked up at the happy pictures on the ceiling showing a smiling moon with a cow jumping over it. Her legs were lifted up and when they were lowered there was a fresh diaper, before she knew it she was back in her dress and being carried back out into the main play area.

“Play nice.” Mrs. Webster said as she carefully placed Sam back on the ground.

Sam scampered away on her hands and knees. She went round the quiet corner that was used for reading and saw the doll house she had been playing at before. The dolls were on the floor in front of the house and Patty was nowhere to be seen. Sam frowned.

“Hello.” A little boy said.

Sam turned to see the boy picking his nose and looking over Sam to the dolls. Sam screwed her face up, she didn’t like the boys, they played too rough and Patty said they had cooties. Before she could do anything she looked down to the boy’s shirt which showed an old propeller airplane doing a loop.

Sam saw images flash through her mind of herself on a plane. At first they looked like the cartoon on the boy’s shirt but they slowly morphed into something very real. She looked around at the pre-school and knew this wasn’t right. She felt dread threatening to consume her as she tried to hold on to the lucidity that seemed to flicker in her brain. The part of her mind that was locked up and a passenger so much of the time was back in control but she knew it wouldn’t be for long.

“He… He… Help!” Sam tried to say. The words were garbled but they were almost understandable.

“Huh?” The boy frowned as he looked down at Sam.

“I… I…” Sam started as she thought of the fog that was already threatening the edges of her mind.

“Sam!” Patty called out, “Come over here!”

Sam’s adult mind disappeared completely as she whipped her head round to see Patty standing over by the art area. Sam flopped on to hands and knees and started crawling forwards with her padded rear held up the air. Any thoughts she had disappeared into the ether as she crawled over to see what her friend wanted.

A couple of hours, a couple of juice boxes and a couple of diaper checks later it was time for lunch. Sam was picked up by Mrs. Webster and carried over to the highchair that had been set up for her. Whilst she was sat in the infantile seat all the other kids also took their places. Most didn’t require a highchair and were sat at the low table in low plastic seats. They had paper plates with a sandwich, piece of fruit and a candy bar.

In contrast to the more yummy food most of the other kids were eagerly tucking into Sam had a bowl of mush placed in front of her. The tasteless food was a common part of her diet. Mommy made sure most of her food was in a similarly mushy state, Sam never questioned it though she wished she was allowed solid food more often.

“OK, Sam, open up for your lovely num-num.” Mrs. Webster said as she loaded up the spoon and brought it up to Sam’s lips.

Sam did as she was told and briefly chewed the food before swallowing it. As she ate she looked on enviously to the bigger kids eating the much yummier food. Sometimes Patty saved Sam a little bit of her lunch and after the bland food she usually ate it was like an explosion of flavour on her tongue. She hoped she would get some today.

There was a baby bottle on the tray and Sam felt very grown up when she was allowed to pick it up herself to drink the sweet juice within. By the time the bowl had been scraped clean she was feeling full and sluggish. As she finished her bottle she let out a big yawn.

“Tired baby.” Mrs. Webster said as she used Sam’s bib to clean up her face, “We’ll put your down for a nap in just a minute.”

Sam never liked nap time. She always wanted to be playing rather than sleeping but as she sat in her highchair and watched the adults put everything away she could hardly keep her eyes open. As she waited she felt her diaper growing warmer around her. She knew it wasn’t her choice but she certainly hoped she was going to get a change before being put in the crib.

When Sam was finally let out of the highchair she was indeed taken for a diaper change. Her wet diaper was replaced by a dry one as Mrs. Webster cooed at her and tickled her tummy. Sam giggled and writhed on the padded table top until she was lifted and taken to the crib in the main play room. Just like the highchair, Sam was one of the few to be put in a crib with most of the other children on fold out beds. Sam was laid down with a pacifier between her lips she smiled as Patty ran over to take the bed next to her.

Sam’s dreams were disturbing and vivid. She tossed and turned as she saw images in her mind of a nursery where she was strapped down as words and images flashed on a screen in front of her. She called out for Mommy to help her but no one came. The dream shifted to an airport where she felt lost. She was stood in the middle of a terminal looking around for Mommy who wasn’t there. She started running looking desperately between adult’s legs until she saw Mommy in the distance. Sam started to run towards her but couldn’t seem to get closer, every time she pushed past one pair of legs Mommy seemed further away. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, she spun around to see Mommy…

Sam jerked up and breathed heavily as she sucked her pacifier. She was back in the crib and the rest of the pre-school was silent except for some heavy breathing and soft snores. It was the same dream Sam always had, or at least a variation. They always involved the flashing words, the airport and Mommy grabbing and scaring her at the end. They sometimes varied but they always left Sam with a feeling of dread. A feeling that there was something missing.

Sam didn’t have long to think about her nightmares though as she felt her tummy cramp. She didn’t hesitate to get up to her feet and squat down whilst holding on to the bars. Just as the nightmares were common when she was asleep so was waking up with a tummy ache.

With a deep breath Sam pushed down. After just a second she felt a hot mush spreading against her skin. A diet of mostly liquids and soft foods meant her mess was loose and practically poured out of her like a mudslide into her underwear. Sam let her breath out as she finished. She didn’t like this feeling, she didn’t like being wet but it was even worse when she was poopy, it just felt… wrong.

Sam’s bottom lip trembled and before she knew it she was crying. She fell back on her butt and her full diaper squished around her. She took a deep breath and got just a hint of the smell coming from her diaper as she loudly wailed. Her eyes swam with tears but beyond the bars she saw Mrs. Webster hurrying over to her. Sam lifted her arms ready to be picked up.

“Oh dear, what’s the matter, baby?” Mrs. Webster asked as she stepped on the crib’s release and let the side rattle down.

Sam didn’t say anything. She knew she didn’t need to. When she cried an adult came to see her and always checked the same things. The first of these things was always her diaper and so it was that Mrs. Webster’s hand went down to Sam’s rear and felt the lumpy mess.

“No need to cry, baby.” Mrs. Webster said as she pat Sam on the butt, “We’ll get you changed right away, OK?”

Sam’s tear were already starting to calm as she was carried across the play room and to the changing table. It took a lot longer to change a messy diaper than a wet one but for Sam the process was the same. She laid back and stared at the ceiling as she waited for the adult to finish. By the time she was clean and taken back into the play room the beds were being put away and the kids were all playing again.

Back in the play room Sam was put on the floor and she quickly crawled across the room to where she saw Patty. Together they played for the rest of the afternoon with the same small interruptions as the morning.

At the end of the day students with kids started coming to pick them up.  Sam was sat in the reading corner when Patty ran off to be greeted by her Mommy. Mrs. Webster was reading the children a story about a happy bunny rabbit going on an adventure. Sitting on a beanbag, Sam was kind of zoning out, she knew she was going to be picked up soon and for some reason it filled her with a feeling of dread that she couldn’t place.

It’s because you shouldn’t be here! You can’t spend your whole life like this!

Sam frowned. The voice she heard in her head sounded like her own but at the same time it wasn’t her. She sucked harder on her pacifier as she watched another couple of children get picked up. Was the voice an imaginary friend? Patty had told her about those and they sounded fun!

I’m you… The real you. You aren’t a baby! You have to fight the-…

“Sam? Come on, baby, you’re Mommy’s here.” One of Mrs. Webster’s assistants said with a smile.

The voice was promptly forgotten as Sam crawled up to the assistant and was picked up. Sam saw Mommy waiting at the entrance with the stroller, she seemed a bit tired from her work but was smiling warmly as she took Sam and placed her in the pushchair.

“Did you have fun?” Jess asked.

Sam nodded her head. She started babbling about her day but, of course, no one could really understand her. The adult simply smiled indulgently as she mimed the things she had done. Professor Hughes walked behind the stroller and started pushing it out of the building and towards home.

Jess lived not far from the campus in a tall apartment building. The apartments were large, spacious and perfect Jess. Sam liked it as well, she had a big nursery as well as a lot of room to crawl around in the living room. They were a few floors up off the ground as well and Sam liked to sit in front of the window and look at all the people running around far below.

Sam was rolled into the elevator and felt the strange sensation in her tummy as they started going up. There was a small ding and then they were heading down the corridor to the front door. Once inside Sam was eager to get out of the stroller and to her toys in the playpen.

“Alright, hold your horses.” Jess said with a chuckle as Sam pulled against her restraints.

Sam was lifted out of the stroller but before she was placed in her pen she could feel Mommy checking her diaper. She was wet but didn’t think she needed a change right away and it seemed Jess agreed as she was put down and the professor walked into the kitchen to presumably start dinner.

Sam’s life at home wasn’t all that different to the life she led at pre-school. After some playing and watching colourful cartoons on television she was taken for dinner. Much like at pre-school that meant sitting in the highchair and being fed baby food. After that Sam was undressed and carried into the bathroom. She was already yawning as a very shallow amount of water was put in the tub and she was lowered into the tub. Mommy was always very careful to make sure Sam was sparkly clean all over before wrapping her in a towel.

At this point Sam was often practically already asleep. She would be placed on the changing table to be diapered before being put in a onesie, or a footed-sleeper if it was cold, and then placed in her crib. It was a routine she knew well and she liked it, babies love routine.

“I told you that you would be better off with someone to look after you, didn’t I?” Jess said as she reached through the bars and stroked Sam’s cheek with her fingers, “You fought me and fought me but look at you now. Safe, happy and protected. A baby that wants for nothing.”

Sam was only half-awake. Her Mommy often spoke to her like this before she drifted off to sleep but she never really knew what Mommy meant. She saw the tall woman smiling though so she smiled as well.

“Goodnight.” Jess said quietly. She kissed two of her fingertips and reached in to brush Sam’s forehead.

Sam was already asleep by the time the light was switched off. The little green frog nightlight provided the only illumination as Sam rolled over with a chorus of crinkles and drifted off to sleep. Her last thoughts, ones that escaped through the fog in her tired mind, were ones that she would never remember.

I’m not always going to be like this… Am I?

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