D.E.A.L.

Chapter 3
untitled

I stared at him, screaming, crying, shouting with all of my being. My voice however was silent, stolen from me by the horror of what I was witnessing. The figure turned its mad eyes on me, tears streaking down its face.

“Remember...

D E all L”

*********************************************

“AH!” I shouted, jolting awake. The remnants of the nightmare were still with me, and I frantically looked around my room, seeking some measure of comfort in its familiarity. Of course, staring through the haze of sleepiness and the gray that was my vision, there was nothing to be seen.

I took a few deep, gulping breaths, and suddenly noticed that I was sitting up. My first thought was ?oh no, brace yourself, you’re going down!’ But I didn’t sink back to the bed. I remained upright, easily so. There was a dull pain from my lower back, but that was easily ignored. The joy from that single experience wiped all vestiges of terror from my mind, instead replacing it with simplest joy. Letting it sink in for a moment, I glanced up at the clock, my vision clearing in the low light. It was early, almost six, and I remembered it had been very late when I guess I had fallen asleep on Dani. That meant she had probably spent the night...

“Hey, Danielle!” I called, not caring if I woke anyone or not. I wanted to tel...wait a minute.

“Hello?” I asked, puzzled. My...voice. It wasn’t my voice! “Hello,” I said again, feeling cold. It was high, lighter then I remembered it. And this was no mental skip, I plaintively remembered my voice being deeper. I brought my hands up in reflex, to feel at my face, when I noticed something else amiss. My hands! I looked down at them, dumbstruck. They were smaller then I remembered, chubbier. My fingers were different too. They didn’t end in the sharp little nails that I could clearly remember from yesterday. Or could I? A buzzing headache began behind my eyes, as I tried to figure out what was going on. I was on the verge of calling out again when my door creaked open.

“Bloody ?ell, kiddo. All that excitement yet’rday and you still find the energy to wake up at the crack o’ morn.”

The shadows were still thick across the room, and the light beginning to stream through the window didn’t give me any help. “Dani?” I called nervously, still off put by the timbre of my voice.

A sigh met my query. “Aye,” a voice said, tiredly but kindly. “What’s troubling you, Hayd?”

“My hands! My voice! I...” I stopped, awestruck, as she stepped through the shadows to stand beside my bed. She was a giant! Sitting up on the bed, my head barely made her waist. I scooted back in the bed, looking up at her. “What happened to you?”

The giant gave me a sour look. She looked exactly like Dani, except, well...huge! “You get me out of bed four hours before schedule, after a night full of chasing you and your little friends around, and you expect me to arise looking like a bed o’ roses?” She grinned down at me. “Enough, little charmer. What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream? Need a change?”

“I...you...excuse me?”

She didn’t say anything, lifting the covers off of my legs. Following her gaze in a moment of horrified ?what is the giant going to do to me-ness’, I noticed the rest of me had changed as well. My legs were much shorter then I remember, stockier. That wasn’t what she was referring to. Catching sight of my underwear, I suddenly became aware of an unfamiliar feeling, adding to the already impressive confusion of senses. It was a sensation of dampness around my mid-section, faint, but definitely there. Dampness, and cold.

“A’ight,” the giant said, whipping my attention back to her. “As I thought. Let me get you a clean one and maybe you can give me another few hours of ?beauty sleep’, huh?”

I shot my finger at her. “You! You’re...you’re huge!” She frowned at me, looking as though she was beholding a crazy person. Then it slowly began to dawn on me. “No...it’s me! I’m small!”

“Astute observation, kiddo,” she said, grinning and dismissing me as she started to pull on the tapes of my diaper. In a bit of reflex/panic, I kicked out my legs to get away from her, when it hit. I had kicked my legs. The shock from that kind of robbed me of fight, and she stripped me of the wet garment with a triumphant ?aha!’. The cold set in real quick, and so I took a deep breath and let her continue, watching her like a hawk. She had just set the clean diaper underneath me when she caught my gaze. “Alright, whaaat?”

“Why am I so small? What happened?” I asked, waving my arms a bit hysterically. I mean, memory loss, alright. But...wtf. That’s the only way to describe it. W-T-F, mate.

She paused, placing a hand on her chin. “Well, to be honest, being six comes with certain stipulations, pronounced lack of stature chief among them. As for what happened, I just changed you out of a diaper that you managed to thoroughly soak despite the fact you used the restroom before you dozed off.”

“But...no! This is wrong. Six?!? I’m not six...” I looked down at my hands again, pudgy and round things they were. “I’m eighteen!”

“Planning ahead, kiddo?”

“No, no...” I was starting to think I was trapped in some really odd dream, but I wasn’t ready to accept that just yet. Dani was acting like this was nothing out of the ordinary...I’d have to show her. “What about this? I know that the square root of nine is three!” I said, trying frantically to draw up something else impressive to share with her. “I know how to spell hyperbole! That’s not normal for a six year old, right?”

She poked me on the nose, pulling the diaper up between my legs. I could actually feel it now, big and cushiony, like a pillow. Either it was that or my tail. The charm on her bracelet caught my eye again, but I had more important things to think about. “You were always precocious. It’s one of your more endearing qualities. It puts babysitting you near the top of things I enjoy doing with my free time.” She smiled at me and turned to look at the clock, wincing slightly at the early hour.

“Babysit? But you...I...you’re my girlfriend!” I blurted out, still clinging desperately to one thread of normality.

She stopped, looking over her shoulder. “Oh. I get it now. I should have seen it earlier.”

“What?” I didn’t like the look she was giving me...even on a human, it was predatory, feral. “Do you remember now?” I asked, edging up against the wall.

“Oh yes, dear boy, I remember.”

“And...?”

“It’s Wednesday!”

I frowned, looking at her open mouthed. “What does that have anything to do with it? I went to bed eighteen, and now I’m a little kid! I...” Suddenly, a memory from out of nowhere flitted in on the wind. Wednesday meant...

“Bath time, kiddo. Nice try, Hayden, but no amount of sweet talk or fake amnesia will save you.” She rapped her knuckles gently on my head, eliciting a few blinks out of me. “I know that fall down the stairs rattled a few things up in ?ere, but you can’t pull the wool over mine eyes.” She reached out to me, looming. I tensed, prepared to fight and protest, when she lifted me up with one quick motion, shook me a bit to jog loose the stray covers, and set me on the ground. I panicked, wind milling my arms, certain I was going to fall...but...nothing.

I was standing.

“What...?”

Dani came over and leaned over me, looking at me upside down. I barely made her waist. “Now, that’s a face!” She smiled, closing my gaping mouth with one finger. “Careful, or it’ll freeze like that.” She grabbed my hands and held them over my head, lifting me up of the ground. It didn’t hurt, but it was disorienting. I squirmed, and she set me down. Disbelieving, I took a few steps forward, willing my legs to move. They felt odd, kinda numb, but they obeyed and held my...well...diminished weight just fine.

“Easy, does it, Hayd. The casts just came off...you don’t want to strain yourself before we go to the park, huh?”

Now, let’s be honest. I’d spent the last six days rooted in place, dealing with body parts that didn’t function properly and a shady past that though incomplete, I was thoroughly ashamed of. I think I’ve managed to keep a lot of it out of this...this record of what happened...but...well...I spent a lot of those days scared, frustrated...contained. When it takes everything in your being just to raise your head in the morning, you start to look at things differently. So when I took those first few steps, I mentally resigned myself to the dream, knowing somewhere deep inside that this was all it possibly could be. I spun, looking up at Dani, who was watching me apprehensively. I didn’t know what fall she was talking about, but what the hell? I grinned at her, stuck my tongue out, and shot out the door.

“Hey!” She called, and with an exasperated sigh, the chase was on.

The little game was short lived, though. I’d no sooner burst out of the hall way and around the table in the kitchen, when the strength in my legs jerked out suddenly, dumping me unceremoniously to the ground with a ?plop’. I looked behind me, noticing my bushy tail poking out of my diaper, waving weakly, possessed of a mind of it’s own. My legs sprawled out behind me, limp. I mentally asked my big toe to move, and my whole foot twitched. That surprised me, and when I heard Dani run up behind me, I rolled over and opened my mouth to ask for a clarification, when she plunged down on me, hands digging hard into my little ribs and all over my over-sized feet. The sensation, later registering as ?being tickled’, lanced through me like fire, engulfing my whole being. I couldn’t breath, could resist, couldn’t escape. After a brief period of eternity, (in which I nearly swallowed my tongue twice), it abated, leaving me gasping on the floor.

“Give?” A voice curried down to me.

A wheeze was my response.

Dani laughed and picked me up. “Easy going, a’ight? You have to give time for the therapy to do it’s job, kiddo. You’ll be up and scampering with the best of them any day now, but not just yet.”

I felt like I should be pretty dejected, being able to walk for just a short amount of time before the gift was stolen from me, but I wasn’t. I could still kick my feet, dangling as they were, and that was enough for me. Simple pleasures for simple minds, I guess. Dani held me...well...like a small child, straddling her hip with one hand underneath me. Instinctively, I wrapped an arm around her neck, secure. “Why can’t I walk?” I asked simply, playing with the dream. Might as well.

“I thought we were through with the amnesiatic portion of this morning’s fare, Hayd. We both decided, just now, that you were going to get a bath today and that was the end of it.”

“Indulge me?” I asked, trying to give her my most sweetest, innocent look. Harder then you’d think, by the way. Something about...well...I don’t know, foxes, I guess, was this odd feeling around the mouth, like a mischievous smile was supposed to be it’s ?at rest’ expression. Appearing innocent was akin to scowling, I found out.

She sighed, but shook her head. “Well, a certain little person who will go as of yet unnamed was busy racing around the house, despite the wishes of his mother and beautiful babysitter/song-writer,’ she added, winking at me, “when suddenly things took a turn for their worst and the aforementioned little person ended up going the wrong way down a flight of stairs. That flight of stairs, by the by,” she said, motioning towards a spiral staircase I hadn’t noticed before in our small sojourns to the kitchen. “Two months and several rather expensive doctor’s bills later, your casts have come off, your legs mostly healed.” She looked at me, and leaned close, rubbing my nose with hers. “Hows that?”

I thought it over, inwardly amazed at the depth of this dream. It didn’t matter one way or the other, I guess, because that’s all it was, right? I shrugged a bit, and said, “Ooooh yeah,” in my best six year old voice. She shifted me around, grumping something about me putting on weight, when I heard the rustling from beneath me.

“Hey! If I can walk and stuff, why the diaper?”

“Oh, for pete’s sake, silly.” She caught herself. “Oh, alright. Completely brainwashed, huh? Filing cabinet ransacked by republicans?”

“The fact I get the reference should tell you I’m not an ordinary 6-year-old...”

“Bah. As for the diapers, Hayden, you spent two months flat on your back, recuperating. Eating nothing but horrible things, if I might add. It feels like you’ve gained a ton.” She jiggled me up and down, a motion that got the teeth in my head rattling. I held tighter.

“Go on?”

“And some measure of drippery is to be expected in children! Bedridden or worldly besides!” She reached her destination, the large couch that sat in front of a larger TV. With a bit of a toss, I was dropped into the cushion and nearly sat into it. Honestly, it was like sitting on a cloud. I looked up at her.

“Now, you got lucky. I forgot about the bath, or else you’d be half naked now. That being your next to last diaper, I can’t afford to waste them. Your mom should bring some home with the rest of the groceries, though. Sit here, enjoy the wonders of modern cable, and I’ll go cook some breakfast, alright?”

“Promise me you’re not just going to run back to bed?” I asked, with a grin and half a laugh in my voice. There was an odd flitting sensation around my chest, like...excitement, ease. I was going to enjoy this dream with all that I had.

She just grinned at me.

As I fiddled with the remote, I realized I really wasn’t into the T.V., per se. This was a dream, after all, and I doubt the purpose of said dream was to sit and veg. I closed my eyes and tried hard to recall something, anything of my past. Anything to tell me that incredibly lucid dreams were part and parcel to being Hayden Welk. But...nothing. Just that odd feeling of giddiness, and a nervous anticipation of a bath.

Bah. I looked down at my legs, chubby and furry affair that they were. With some effort, they moved, going up then crashing back down into the couch cushion. Mustering a bit of courage, I hopped off the couch, keeping on hand on the armrest just in case. My legs accepted my weight, and I stood easily, though I did sway some.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Walking was a bit odd. I mean, it wasn’t like I had much to draw from, mentally speaking, but I could tell. My underwear pushed my legs apart, causing me to waddle a bit, like a duck. That thought brought to mind a duck animal person, and I laughed. Something about that...I inwardly shrugged. After a few more cautious steps, I stood at the entrance to the kitchen. Dani was there, working over that huge stove, her back to me. She wore a pair of old, torn jeans underneath a light colored, tight-fitting turtleneck. The shirt didn’t have any writing I could see, but her jeans had a sequin design of a dolphin running up the side. As I watched, she flipped a pancake high into the air, catching it with a dark skillet and a shout of ?aha’! Her hair, which she had always worn loose before, was tied in a short pony tail held in place by a ribbon. She turned, about to add a few things to the pancake, when she noticed me and jumped.

“Oy, Hayden! Don’t do that...you almost got to eat your breakfast off the floor...”

“Sorry,” I said, looking around. It was something, really, to see the kitchen from this diminished angle. I mean, the refrigerator was three times my size, looming out of the back corner of the kitchen like a mystical wardrobe. I started to take a step towards her, when I felt my legs getting weak. I grabbed onto the counter next to my head to avoid falling backwards. Dani sighed.

“Can’t take my eyes off you for a minute, eh?”

“Guess not,” I said, as she turned off the stove and walked over to me. Bending over, she picked me up again, under the arms, but didn’t hold me close. A few steps with me ?air walking’, and she deposited me in one of the chairs by the table. She returned to the kitchen and brought a few plates of food out for the both of us, normal-looking pancakes and a fried egg for her, and another pancake that looked....well, like it had little pieces of something embedded in it. I sniffed at it, and it smelled good...but I had to ask. “Eh?” I murmured, pointing at the plate.

“Well, even though you did get me up at an unearthly hour, I did promise to make your favorite for breakfast this morning.” She took a seat next to me. “Sausage pancakes. Said you had a craving.”

“I...did?” I asked skeptically, still eyeing the weird thing. Her expression convinced me to at least try it, and once the first bit had passed my teeth, that was it. It really was good, better then I would have expected. I quickly finished the whole thing, sipping at a cup of milk while I was at it. The meal passed in silence, and when I was done, Dani cleared the plates.

After the kitchen was clean, Danielle came around to find me back on the floor, taking slow steps around the house, taking in the things I had missed from the wheelchair. I didn’t feel up to mounting that spiral staircase, but I did notice we had a neat looking mini-chandelier hanging over our doorway. The house had a real southwestern motif, with pictures and paintings of red-faced humans, and several interesting blankets hanging from the walls. A statue of a lone wolf-person, dressed in chaps and mounted on a horse greeted guests the moment they walked in.

She walked up behind me, and yawned, stretching her arms above her head. She was tall, I could tell, even if I hadn’t been so small. I didn’t know if that’s how tall she was in the ?real’ world, or if this was just how I remembered her. She walked to me and leaned over, running her hand down my back. The shirt I was wearing was thin, allowing me to feel her fingertips brush my fur through the fabric. Her hand continued down, when suddenly, I felt it dip down into my underwear. I yipped and shot forward, almost tripping over my feet.

“Still dry,” she said while I glared at her. “Well, it’s about 8 o’clock, kiddo. You up for an early morning trip to the park?” She kneeled down to meet my eyes. I cocked my head at her. “There probably won’t be that many people there, but you’ll have the swings to yourself.”

I thought that over. “Sounds like fun...are we going to drive? Where is it? The park.” I clarified. It did sound like fun, and I was anxious to ?see’ the world beyond the house. The view from my bedroom window only afforded me a glance at our backyard, and though big, it was nothing special. Just a patio with a grill, and a smattering of grass beyond that.

“Boy, for such a prodigy, you sure have the mind of a goldfish. We were just there last week!”

“Oh yeah, heh heh.” I said, looking away and scratching at an itch behind my ear. “So...let’s go!”

“Hold up, you. Mighty cheerleader though I am, I’m not carrying your furry butt all the way there and back. Let me go get your stroller, and we’ll go.”

“My stroller?” I almost asked, but I kept silent. This was a dream, and it probably wasn’t what I thought it was. I was enjoying myself...and if I resisted too much, I might wake up. I had just decided to go with it, when she wheeled the thing into the den. I gaped, I know, because Dani looked at me, opened her mouth, and closed it with a finger, smiling. It was a baby stroller, complete with little train and car designs running up the sides. It was one of those kind that was fairly large, with storage space underneath the baby and a canopy above. I took one look at it, and shook my head. “There is no way I’m going out in that thing.”

“C’mon, Hayd, we went through this last time! This way, you don’t have to strain your legs, or my back. If you get dirty, I can bring a change of clothes, and if...and don’t bristle at me, young man, if you have an accident, the seat folds back, and I can change you away from prying eyes.” I opened my mouth to protest further, but then she said, “either that or the public women’s restrooms at the park. Always filled with old lady joggers this time of morning...”

That shut me up. I nodded, sighing. “Good!” she exclaimed. “But for all the fuss you give me about this, you don’t care if you go pant-less?”

With a shake of my head and a grin, we got about to finally getting me a part of pants to wear. They were a short affair, barely reaching my ankles. It was alright, though. It was like some part of me was...complete. I was happy, and after a brief struggle getting me into a rather bulky jacket, we were off.

Once outside, I was glad for the jacket. The December winds cut through my bones, chilling me. I puffed out a frost-white breath, and was mildly entertained by that for a while. Pulling away from my patio, I got to see my house in it’s entirety, from the outside. It was two stories, I could see, a plain, manufactured home that was nearly identical to all the ones up and down the street. We had rocks in the front lawn in lieu of grass, however, and a flag bearing Santa’s likeness hung from the pole wedged in the middle of that. Our house didn’t have any lights, Christmas lights, that is, on it, and I asked about it. Dani told me that my mom was often away on business, and didn’t have much time to celebrate, though there had been a few hints of getting a tree before Christmas, which was in three weeks. I didn’t ask about my father...it didn’t occur to me to at this point.

The trip to the park was much shorter then I had expected...apparently, the neighborhood we lived in had a community park that was centered directly in the middle of the development. It was small affair, but it did have a rather cool looking playground, and a little duck pond that was devoid of water fowl at the moment. A tall slide, rusted and aging, stood as the centerpiece to the picture, flanked on both sides by a brightly colored (I think) play-fort and a gently rotating merry-go-round. A single pair of swings hung to the left, letting the wind push their invisible riders. Dani undid the strap that held me in, and after a few tenetive looks around to see if anyone was watching, I quickly hopped out, and slowly plodded towards the merry-go-round.

My legs felt weak, heavy, but I was triumphant, just enjoying the feeling of the ground at my feet and the sky above me. I only stumbled once, but Danielle was right there, catching me before I fell all the way. I caught myself on a nearby tree before I fell again, and something about the texture of the tree turned my head. There, carved in the bark, were a number of epitaphs, teenage love letters, and phone numbers, but one set caught my eye in particular. It was an odd mix of upper and lowercase letters, as if the author couldn’t make up his mind.

DEnnis j. AnD MariAN g.

T+A

Something bad wormed through my stomach as I gazed at these, something I couldn’t fathom, but I shook it off and continued towards the playground, vaguely aware I was shaking. I attributed it to the chill, and once I had made it to the sand, I was suddenly lifted off my feet and deposited in one of the swing-set’s bucket chairs. I had no complaints, the way my legs felt, I’d be more worried about falling off the back of one of the big kid swings. I caught myself. Big kids? Bah. Now now, I told myself, enjoy it. You’ll probably wake up any minute...

The swings were great. Amazingly so. I yipped and shouted, feeling silly, giddy at the same time. After a few minutes on those, Dani lifted me up and spun me around the merry for a bit, until I got dizzy and fell off, making a slight imprint in the sand. I moved my arms up and down, making a sand angel. Dani laughed, but winced, grinning as she said that holding off on the bath was probably for the best. It was still forthcoming, she assured me, however. We stayed at the park for about an hour or so, our visit culminating with my finally gaining up the courage to go down that giant slide, provided Dani go down with me. Getting up that slide ladder was a story in itself, but we made it. My mistake...the ride down was one of the scariest, most fun things I’d ever do in my life, and once it was done, I was ready to go.

We got back to the house around ten, and I was swaying on my feet, exhausted. Dani asked if all that playing had worked up an appetite, and I said no. She tossed me an apple anyway, so I dutifully munched on that. The couch looked infinitely more inviting now that I was tired, and I made my way over to it once I got out of the stroller. I climbed up, (no easy chore) and sat down, sinking into the cushions once more. As I did, though, I became aware of an uncomfortable sensation from beneath my tail. A squishy, moist sensation that my mind likened to sitting on a sponge.

It surprised me. I mean, I knew pretty quickly what it was, but I hadn’t even noticed I had wet myself. It was no different when I was on my back in bed...though I had feeling in my whole body, the sensations coming from below my waste were muted. I tried to ignore it, but every time I shifted around, I was grossly reminded. With a sigh, I hopped off the couch, to land face first on the ground. My legs hadn’t held me up...I was too wiped out. I got myself into a sitting position without too much difficulty, though, and looked around. I could hear Danielle in the other room, doing who knows what. Whatever dream figments do when they’re out of sight of the dreamer, I suppose.

“Dani!” I called, shrilly, my voice cracking. It was something like sucking helium. Kind of.

“Well, look who’s too good for the couch.” Danielle entered, smiling down at me. I scratched at that omnipresent itch behind my ear. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“Umm...well...” I tried to get the word out, but it was like peanut butter in my mouth. I looked down at the floor. “I...uh...need a change,” I finished sheepishly. Her grin widened.

“Finally!”

I looked up at, confused. “Excuse me? Is this something you look forward to, crazy woman?”

She bopped me on the nose, very lightly, teasingly. “Oho, nice try. But now that you are in need of cleaning up, we can get to it proper. Bath-time, Hayden!”

Something inside spoke of childish instincts, things I couldn’t ignore so easily. “Noooo!” I cried, horrified. “Anything but that!”

“Sorry, sorry...but it’s Wednesday and on the menu. C’mere, you!” She bent down and scooped me up just as I was trying to scrabble away. “You’ll feel better afterwards, I swear...”

“Baaah.”

“Oh, become a sheep now, have you? Suits me just fine. Dirty little sheep need bathes just as do dirty little foxes. Perhaps even moreso, with all that wool.”

I just went limp, resigning myself to the bath. I don’t know why I had protested, an odd mix of juvenile loathing for the things mixed with something else I couldn’t put a finger on. Ah well. As she carried me towards the bathroom, I caught sight of myself again, in the mirror that I had noticed during last week’s bath fiasco. I was surprised.

I looked a lot different. I mean, there was nothing familiar there in the first place, but from my earlier observations, it was quite a change. My ears, long, pointed things before, were now soft little triangles on my head, rounded at the tops. My fur seemed a lighter shade of gray this time around, the lightest shade being around my eyes, which seemed to have doubled in size. I did have to admit, I was a little hefty, all round ends here and there. Even my toes, oversized things that they were, looked more like marshmallows. Dani’s arm encircled my waist, holding me with my back to her chest, and my short, but undeniably bushy tail waving lazily beneath me. Then all was looking at was a bathroom sink as we entered in.

She began running the water this time, plopping me down on the toilet, the seat and cover down so I could sit on it. She poked at my nose and began removing my shirt, taking the caution not to tickle. For her own protection, she said. Last time she tried, I had flailed so bad I nearly gave her a black eye. Now she only tickled me when she had the utmost advantage. I laughed and said prone on the ground is cheating. She didn’t say anything to that, as she reached around me to tug off the button that help my pants over my tail. I held onto the toilet as she yanked them off of me in one fluid move. I looked down. And blinked.

The diaper was different, too. One set of tapes held it in place where two did the job before, and all down the front were little cartoon characters, a few that I didn’t recognize. Judging by the shades, I could tell that it was probably several different colors, rather then just the plain white of the other one. And yes, it was thoroughly soaked, half of Buzz Light-year’s torso disappearing as the graphic continued between my legs. Pretty quickly, Dani had that off of me too.

The bath went as did the first one did, but I had more fun this time, blatantly ignoring my nakedness to enjoy the sensation of the warm water. I admit, I got into it, splashing a bit, getting Dani thoroughly soaked in the process. But through it all, she didn’t get mad, didn’t complain, just laughed and said that being in a bathtub was much like being prone on the ground, the only difference was that it came with the stipulation of drowning. I toned it down.

Listening to her talk to me made me realize something. She was different, I guess, with me like this then she was me the ?real’ me. More intellectual, smart, funny. I thought it might have had to do with the talk we had last night, about the person I was before. This was probably the way I imagined her being if we didn’t have that shameful past behind us.

The bath was over before I knew it, and I was fished out of it by Dani wielding an exceptionally large and fluffy towel. It was warm, cozy, as if it had just been taken out of the dryer. There was no portable hair dryer this time, though, just a vigorous scrubbing on my various parts by the aforementioned towel. She carried me back into my room, towel and all, dumping me on the bed. She fished around in my closet for a few things to wear, and settled on some baggy sweatpants and a hooded long-sleeve shirt. Taping me into my ?last diaper’ (Make it last, she warned me) she carried me out, and set me in front of the tv again while she attended to a few chores.

We ate an uneventful dinner, which I made it through in a bit of awe. This was a remarkably long dream, I told myself. Heavy on the details, too. It actually felt like half the day had whittled away. Before I knew it, it was almost six o’clock when Dani received a call on the house phone. My mom would be working late, apparently, so Danielle would stay with me until she got back. Seeing as though it was almost my ?bedtime’, she suggested we watch a movie together, on the big screen in the living room. I told her that sounded great. When she asked me which one, though, I was at a loss. I quickly strained my brain, picking at anything...and suddenly blurted out, “Pirates of the Caribbean!” She nodded and began fishing it out of the DVD cabinet by the couch.

Memories came swarming back to me...plot lines, characters...Kiera Knightly...but nothing else. That started to sour my mood...the fact that I could remember a famous movie, important details about the movie, but me, Me, I was still a blank. I sighed, though, and when Dani sat up on the couch with me and raised her arm, inviting, I made my way over to her and let her hold me.

The movie was great, and I was surprised that there quite a few things that I had forgotten. That kept my attention off of my earlier anxiety, and soon, it was all but forgotten. The movie ended just in time, the clock easing into 8 o’clock with a faint bell sound. I yawned, gave the customary childish protests, but allowed her to carry me back into the room. As we were moving, she began gently singing, a soft melody that lulled me further along to dreamland. I strained, though, wanting to hear it. She had a beautiful voice.

Hello there, just passing through

My name is all I have to give to you

I haven’t much left to me now

No worries, this is fine

Trying to find someway to pass the time

And now I’ve met you

I’m sorry I can’t love you forever

My feet won’t stay in one place

I never meant to hurt you

But please try to forget my face

You’re just a wanderer

Lost and free

Walking in shadows

Cast by the light of me

You made this one memorable

Even as you forget my name

and watch my face fade away

It’s no secret, I’m sorry, it’s true

My love is all I had to give to you

Something about those words...but...I couldn’t hold on to them, for they became the background music to my descent into darkness. My last thought before it though...this had been a very pleasant dream...sorry it had to end...

The next day burned clear enough, and I awoke easily, blinking back the sun that was beginning to filter though the blinds. I tried to sit up, and was rewarded with the sensation of a rather large elephant sitting on my chest. I sighed. This was a familiar feeling.

I lay in bed, putting my hands up, in front of my eyes. The dream I had ?last night’. Was vivid, still with me, and I was half surprised that my hands had fingers that were long and thing, rather then short and pudgy. I smiled to myself, a bit of the joy with me as well, and I called out for Danielle, wanting to share it with her. I did so with some apprehension, though. Yesterday we had that talk...and then I fell asleep on her. I didn’t know her reaction, but I hoped things would start to clear up between us. That, and today was Wednesday, which also meant a bath. Sigh.

The door opened slowly, but instead of bringing Dani into the room, it brought Mary, my mother. That surprised me a bit. I hadn’t seen her in a while, only sporadically since I had awoken that first day. She smiled thinly at me and waved, looking around before stepping in.

“Good morning, mom,” I said, gently. With what Dani had told me about myself, I probably was a jerk to her as well, and I truly wanted to get know her. This seemed like one of those rare times. “How are you doing today?”

She stared at me for a moment. “I...er...I’m fine, Hayden. Did you call?” She held her hands together in front of her, wringing them, looking the picture of nervousness.

“I’m ok, Mom. I was just wondering if Danielle were here. I had something to tell her this morning.”

Again, a blank stare. “Dani? Honey, remember, Dani had the day to take care of a few things at home. She told you she wouldn’t be here today, remember?”

What?

I strained my mind, thinking back to yesterday. My time as a little kid filled that slot, but now wasn’t the time for it. I went further back, to the ?real’ Tuesday. Nothing. No mention of anything of the sort. Oh well. It probably slipped her mind in the excitement. I shrugged.

“Ok, ok, now I remember,” I lied. I grinned at her, trying to dispel her anxiety. “Well, it looks like it’s just you and I for bath time, right?”

“Hayden, are you ok?” She stepped further into the room, slowly. “You had your bath yesterday. You always have them on Wednesdays.”

Waitaminute. “What did you say?” I asked, a little more sharply then I’d meant to.

“Easy, Hayden, I’m sorry. I just meant that you already took a bath, remember? Yesterday?”

I didn’t reply. Too many thoughts were running rampant through my mind. Yesterday...yesterday...

“What is today?” I asked quietly, shaking my head, not looking at her.

“Thursday...” she began, when her cell phone went off. “I...” She didn’t finish, just gave me one more panicked look, and all but fled the room, leaving me with my confusion.

To be honest, the day flew by. I was unconscious to the flow of time. My mind kept racing, back to the dream, the day before, running an inventory of everything I had learned since ?waking’ up nearly a week ago. It was all there...despite the amnesia and strangeness of the situation, I was a good listener, and I retained what I had found out. About myself, about Dani, about...what had happened yesterday?

Was this something to do with my condition? Did something happen that my mind just decided to up and ?repress’? I wanted to call Dani, ask her what the hell was going on, but I couldn’t. There was a hollow feeling in me that robbed me of any motivation. That scared me, scared me damn bad.

I didn’t see Mary anymore that day, something that didn’t surprise me. She was already ill at ease around me...this was probably too much to handle by herself. I stayed up late that night, watching the clock tick from across my room. I was cold, too nervous to allow myself to fall asleep. What if I woke up and more time had passed? What if I forgot more of what I had tried so hard to learn, these last few days? That thought kept me up, and just before the clock hit 12:01, I whispered to myself, “I wish I knew what was going on...”

“Finally!”

 

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