A Little at A Time

Chapter 5
Dr. Murray's Office

We sat waiting in the doctor’s office. Jessica explained the basic problem to the receptionist. She said the doctor would squeeze us in as soon as he could. I always liked Dr. Murray, even though I only saw him for routine check-ups every couple years. He was an older man, with a balding head and kind, compassionate eyes. After about ten minutes, they called us into an exam room and Dr. Murray came in shortly thereafter. “So, what’s going on?” He asked. Now I felt really embarrassed and could feel myself blushing. I looked nervously at Jessica. She started explaining everything to the doctor. When she finished, he looked up and asked a question that seemed very strange at the time. “Did you get a flu shot this year?” I said that I had, about six weeks ago. “Where did you get it?” He asked. “At Wellness-Aid, our neighborhood pharmacy.” I explained. He frowned.

Dr. Murray then asked me a series of questions that made me realize that I much as I had noticed about my changes, I had missed a lot too. Fine motor problems? Actually, I had found it harder to tie my tie in the morning, to type, and to open jars. I also had become something of a sloppy eater, usually dropping at least one item of food onto the floor or my clothes every meal. Trouble concentrating? Yes, I’d really been struggling to stay focused at work. Fatigue? I’d gotten in the habit of closing my office door and taking a nap most afternoons. Change in food/drink choices? I hadn’t had a beer in weeks and had been drinking mostly grape juice and chocolate milk. I hadn’t had much interest in steak or Chinese food, but was craving mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. Have you been tripping and falling more often? Yes, now that you mention it. Have you had an increased interest in childish activities? Definitely!

After he asked his questions, Dr. Murray did a physical exam, including a prostate check. He left for a minute. I put my clothes back on. Jessica and I hadn’t said anything in a long time. When the doctor returned, he said: “I don’t have a definite diagnosis for you. I’m sure you’re concerned, but you should know that I see no indication of a condition that’s life-threatening.” Jessica and I both breathed a quick sigh of relief, but waited expectantly for some explanation. “I want you to see Dr. Phyllis Westgate at University Hospital. I just called her office and they can see you first thing tomorrow morning.” When he said this, I felt a sense of elation as I thought of spending another day with Jessica. “But, doctor, what do you think is going on?” Jessica asked, sounding really concerned and frustrated. “I really don’t want to say. We’ll order some bloodwork and send it to Dr. Westgate, she’s the real expert and there’s no sense in me guessing at something. She’ll be able to tell you for sure.” Dr. Murray answered. I was sort of annoyed with him and I could tell that Jessica wasn’t happy either, especially since we were going to have to wait until tomorrow to see the other doctor.

“And, I’m sorry to say this, but in the meantime, Tim, you should start wearing protective undergarments.” He said softly. It didn’t hit me right away, but Jessica gasped. Then, I realized what he had said. “You mean adult diapers?!” I protested. “Yes, that’s what I mean.” He responded. This really set me off. I started feeling really angry and defensive. “Well, thanks for your time doctor!” I said and started walking out the door. “Listen,” Dr. Murray said, touching my arm, “I know this is really difficult, and I’m sorry I can’t tell you more today, but hang in there. Dr. Westgate is terrific and she should have some answers.”