Reborn

Chapter 12
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Emma had been quiet all morning and Jack sensed that something was weighing on her mind. When she had changed his diaper she had remained silent and had barely made eye contact with him. Then she had allowed him to eat breakfast quietly on his own and had made no attempt to demean him. After breakfast she had even allowed him to watch the morning news on television whilst she played with her cellphone.

Jack thought that she might be coming to her senses and he was hopeful that she would take him to his appointment with Doctor Palmer the following day. He was planning to ask her about it, however he was taken by surprise when Emma raised the subject before he could.

“Doctor Palmer told you to stay mentally stimulated, I don’t think watching TV counts, do you want to do some puzzles?” Emma asked.

He was pleasantly surprised that she was still taking an interest in his health and he thought that a puzzle would be a welcome distraction from daytime TV.

“Sure.” Jack replied.

“I’ve got a brain teaser for you,” she announced, “are you ready?” she queried.

Jack nodded his head.

“A farmer is travelling with a fox, a goose and a bag of beans. During his journey, he comes across a river with a boat to cross it,” she explained, “are you with me so far?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“The farmer can only fit one thing in the boat with him at a time. If left alone together, the fox will eat the goose or the goose will eat the beans. How does the farmer get everything across the river safely?” she quizzed.

He thought it sounded simple enough, but he needed to see it on paper to be able to work it out.

“Can you write it down?” he asked.

Emma went to the kitchen and returned with a notepad. She wrote the question down and placed the notepad on the floor in front of him. Jack studied the question carefully, he understood all of the words written on the page, which came as a relief to him.

After deliberating, he decided that the farmer would have to take the goose across the river first. But the next step wasn’t entirely clear to him, he reasoned that if the farmer crossed the river with the fox next then it would have a chance to eat the goose. But if the farmer crossed with the beans instead then the goose would have a chance to eat the beans. He thought about it for several minutes, the problem had sounded easy to resolve but he was missing something.

“Have you found the answer yet?” Emma queried.

“Oh...nearly,” he replied.

Jack was getting frustrated with himself. He kept losing his train of thought and had to start from the beginning again. Then after a number of imaginary river crossings, he thought he had finally found the correct answer.

“Got it!” he announced.

Emma, who was by now sat on the sofa again, looked up from her phone.

“Okay, what’s the answer?” she asked.

Jack tentatively explained the steps that the farmer would need to take in order to cross the river successfully.

“That’s right, well done!” she beamed.

Jack felt relieved that he had been able to solve the puzzle, it had taken him longer than he had expected, but he was reassured that he had at least arrived at the correct answer.

“Do you want to try another one?” Emma suggested.

He knew that it would do him good to continue, but he felt mentally drained after grappling with the first puzzle.

“Actually I wanted to ask about Doctor Palmer. Are we still going to see him tomorrow?” he queried.

Emma got up from the sofa and walked towards the door.

“Of course,” she replied, on her way out of the room.

Jack returned to watching television and wondered whether she genuinely intended to take him to the appointment. He guessed that if they didn’t turn up then the hospital would attempt to contact him, so he reasoned that she couldn’t postpone the hospital appointment indefinitely. He was left to his own devices for the next couple of hours and with a sense of relief, he embraced the opportunity to be alone with his thoughts.

By the time Emma had prepared lunch he was already feeling drowsy, it was nearly time for his afternoon nap. Instead of forcing him to sit in the high chair, she placed the plate in front of him on the floor and he ate whilst watching television. He caught himself nodding off and had to make a conscious effort to stay awake, but he managed to finish his lunch without falling asleep.

“Jack, can we talk” asked Emma.

“What about?” Jack responded wearily.

“You’re a lot smaller than you used to be and I can imagine how scary that must feel,” she acknowledged, “sometimes I notice you flinching when I come near you, but I want you to know that I’ll never hurt you,” she promised.

He had to admit that he was intimidated by her stature, but her promise rang hollow. Although she had never physically injured him, she had spent the past few days emotionally manipulating him.

“You hurt my feelings,” he countered.

“Yeah, I guess I did,” she admitted, “but I’ll never, you know...hit you,” she added.

He thought that it was outrageous that she had emotionally tormented him and then congratulated herself for not hitting him. But it seemed as though she was attempting to reconcile with him and he didn’t want to spurn the opportunity.

“Is that an apology” he queried.

She smiled faintly and then held out her arms, “can I hug you?” she asked.

He didn’t want a hug, he just wanted her to admit that what she had done to him was wrong.

“No,” answered Jack.

“It might make you feel better,” she suggested, “come on, stand up,” she instructed.

He rose to his feet and yawned, he was too tired to argue with her. Emma reached down and placed her hands beneath his armpits, then lifted him into the air and embraced him. She used her left arm to support his rear end and pressed her right hand against his back, rubbing it softly. He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed, then the tension seemed to leave his body. He felt a pang of shame, he was almost enjoying being held by her. It was a curious sensation, after days of being ridiculed by her he now felt relieved by her warm embrace. He tried to fight the urge to sleep, but despite his best efforts to shake off the drowsiness, he nodded off.

When Jack opened his eyes he found himself looking up at Emma as she cradled him in her arms. They were still in the living room, but he noticed that they were now sat on the couch. He was dismayed that she was still holding him and he wondered how long he had been asleep for.

“What are you doing?” squeaked Jack.

She looked down at him and appeared to be startled momentarily, as though she hadn’t noticed that he was awake.

“I’m cuddling you,” she answered, “I thought you were enjoying it,” she added.

Jack sat upright and climbed out of her lap, then crawled to the opposite side of the couch.

“I wasn’t enjoying it,” he protested.

She raised one eyebrow and her lips curled into a sardonic grin.

“Then why did you fall asleep when I picked you up?” she queried.

He hesitated for a moment, although he had been tired he had managed to stay awake long enough to eat his lunch. He wondered why he hadn’t been able to resist dozing off in Emma’s arms.

“I didn’t mean to, I was...I was just tired,” he stammered.

“Oh come on, just admit it, part of you enjoyed it,” she insisted.

He blushed and then felt a sudden flash of anger, he just wanted the conversation to end.

“I didn’t,” he huffed.

“Well I enjoyed cuddling you,” she admitted.

Jack climbed down from the sofa and marched towards the door.

“Just leave me alone,” he grumbled, before storming out of the room.

When he arrived in the spare bedroom he sat down on the floor with his back against the wall and thought about what she had said. He knew that he had enjoyed being held by her and that although he could no longer feel sexual desire, he still craved physical intimacy. But every touch was corrosive to his identity, he was a grown man but when she held him in her arms he felt like he was an infant.

He stared off into space until something caught his attention in the corner of the room, there were two brown parcels propped up against the wall. He was sure that they hadn’t been there the previous day and he wondered whether Emma might be planning something.

“Jack,” called Emma.

He heard the sound of approaching footsteps and braced himself for her arrival.

“There you are,” she said, strolling into the bedroom.

Jack didn’t even acknowledge her presence, he crossed his arms and stared at the opposite wall.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed about what happened earlier,” she reassured.

He continued to ignore her and fixed his gaze on an oak cabinet. She stood in silence for several seconds and waited for him to respond, then she strolled over to the corner of the room and picked up a parcel.

“Why can’t you just admit that you liked cuddling me?” she asked, running her fingers over the package.

He glanced in her direction and saw her holding the parcel, then frowned.

“Well, I’ve got another surprise for you,” she said, grinning mischievously.

He understood that she was wielding the parcel as a threat, the contents of which would be unleashed upon him if he didn’t co-operate with her. He watched on nervously as Emma tore open the package , then she reached inside and pulled out a pair of denim overalls.

“I think they’ll look cute on you, what do you think?” she queried, holding them aloft.

Jack sat upright and studied the overalls, he noticed a cartoon tractor printed on the chest pocket. He shook his head and scowled.

“This is our last evening together, I want to make it special,” she announced.

Emma draped the overalls over the side of the crib and then picked up another parcel from the floor, before using a pair of scissors to cut it open. She smiled as she pulled a brightly colored toy truck out of the box.

“Do you want to play with this whilst mommy makes dinner?” she asked.

Reaching down, she placed the toy truck on the floor in front of Jack, who rose to his feet and looked at it in disgust.

“Now let’s get you changed into your new overalls,” she directed.

He decided against putting up any resistance, he knew that if he reacted to her provocations then it would only encourage her. He thought that if he could endure just one more evening with her then it would finally be over with.

She knelt down in front of Jack and pulled his jeans down to the floor, allowing him to wiggle free of them. Then she placed the overalls on the floor in front of him and he stepped into them, one leg at a time. She pulled the overalls up and folded the straps over his shoulders, then buckled them.

“Look Jack, there’s a picture of a tractor on the front,” she said, pointing to his chest.

He took a deep breath and bit his lip.

“You should think yourself lucky that you’re wearing a plain t-shirt, there were loads of printed ones to choose from,” she teased.

Emma retrieved the toy truck from the floor and then rose to her feet, before motioning for Jack to follow her. He traipsed behind her, following her into the living room. She placed the toy truck on the ground and pointed to it.

“Are you going to play with your new toy?” she asked.

He crossed his arms and glared at her defiantly.

“Or do you want to sit on the couch with me and give me a cuddle?” she quizzed.

He shook his head and grimaced, unwilling to yield to the pressure.

“Did we have somewhere important to go tomorrow?” she asked rhetorically, “because I was thinking about taking you to the park,” she added.

Jack slumped down onto the floor next to the toy truck and stared at it. He knew that she would be able to reschedule the appointment with Doctor Palmer if she chose to do so. Deciding that antagonizing her wouldn’t be a good idea, he grabbed hold of the toy truck and rolled it across the floor.

“This will make a good picture,” she suggested.

When he looked up he saw Emma grinning and holding up her cellphone. He used to love the way that she smiled, but now it made his blood boil. He imagined how satisfying it would feel to slap her across her face.

“I might frame it and put it on my wall,” she giggled.

Jack grunted and threw the truck across the floor. It was an infantile act of defiance, but it was the only thing that he had dared to do. He braced himself and waited for Emma’s reaction, but she merely chuckled.

“Jack, come here, mommy has something that she wants to show you,” she said, beckoning him towards her.

He folded his arms and looked down at the floor.

“Jack, come sit on my lap, don’t make me come get you,” she warned.

Reluctantly, he got to his feet and shuffled towards her without making eye contact. Then she grabbed hold of him and lifted him onto her lap. He sat facing away from her, with his back pushed up against her breasts, he could feel her breath on the back of his head. She wrapped one of her arms around his waist and then used her free hand to hold her cellphone in front of him.

“Look Jack, that’s you,” she teased.

He looked down at the phone and saw a photo of himself playing with the toy truck. He thought that he looked pathetic, he knew that anyone who saw the picture would think that he was a real toddler.

Emma placed the phone down on the sofa and then used her free hand to caress his body. He shuddered at the touch of her skin as she gently massaged him, he was simultaneously repulsed and enthralled.

“You like cuddling, don’t you?” cooed Emma.

Her words enraged him, but her body soothed him. He wanted to scream at her, but he didn’t want her to stop.

“It’s okay honey, let yourself go,” she urged, “babies like cuddles,” she continued.

He grimaced and balled his hands into fists, he felt like he had been betrayed by his own body. He almost cursed at her, but then she ran her fingers through his hair and his anger quickly subsided. He felt his muscles relax as the tension gradually dissipated under the soothing pressure of her touch. A stream of urine gushed out into his diaper, startling him and soaking his groin. He was both horrified and enraptured as she continued to caress him.

“See, it’s not so bad is it?” Emma said.