Chapter 8
---------------------------------
Jack sat in the car and waited impatiently for Emma to return. She had only been gone for five minutes, but he felt as though she had been gone for an hour. He prayed that nobody would peer through the car windows and see that he was unaccompanied.
His stomach grumbled and he fidgeted anxiously. Ever since he became incontinent he had been fixating on the noises that his body made. He interpreted every rumble and every gurgle as a sign that he might be about to have a bowel movement. Passing wind was even worse, every time he farted he thought that he was about to shit himself.
The car door clicked open and Jack was relieved to see Emma climbing into the drivers seat.
“Got it,” she announced, “now we just need to go to the grocery store,” she added.
“Do we have to?” he complained.
“Yes, we do” she insisted.
As they pulled out of the parking lot, Jack closed his eyes and rested his head. He wondered how he would be able to cope once Emma was no longer living with him and he decided to formulate a plan of action. Speaking to a lawyer was at the top of his agenda, he thought that he would be able to file a lawsuit and seek damages for the accident. He guessed that he would be able to use the proceeds to adapt his house so that he would be able to live independently.
“We’re here,” Emma announced.
Jack opened his eyes and yawned. He couldn’t remember falling asleep but he guessed that he must have drifted off on the way to the grocery store.
“Oh crap,” Emma exclaimed.
“What’s up?” he queried.
“I just saw some cops going into the grocery store,” she explained.
Instinctively he turned his head towards the window, hoping that he would be able to see them himself, but the window was too high for him to be able to get a good view of the store.
“So...,” he replied.
“So I can’t leave you in the car, if they see you I might get in trouble,” she clarified.
He knew that being left in the car on his own would be risky and he didn’t want to be mistaken for an unaccompanied child, but he had no intention of going into the grocery store with her.
“We can come back tomorrow,” he suggested.
“Let’s just do it now and get it over with,” she insisted.
He balked at the idea, he wasn’t willing to sacrifice his dignity for a few bags of groceries.
“I’m not going in there,” he protested.
“Why not?” she asked, “I need stuff to make dinner,” she added.
He tried to think of every possible objection that he could raise, but he had to admit that it could all be boiled down to one thing.
“I don’t want people to see me, it’s embarrassing,” he replied.
“So you care about your feelings, but you didn’t care about embarrassing me when you fucked Louise,” she snapped.
Jack thought that it was an unfair comparison as he hadn’t intended to hurt Emma’s feelings.
“This is different,” he protested.
“Jack if you make me drive all the way home without buying groceries then I’m gonna leave you to sort out your own mess,” she threatened.
He bit his lip and thought for a few moments. He considered the possibility that he was being unreasonable, after all it seemed plausible to him that she did need to buy supplies. But he struggled to suppress his lingering doubts about her intentions.
“But...but,” he stuttered.
“It’ll only take ten minutes, just keep quiet and don’t say anything weird in front of people,” she instructed.
Before Jack could muster a response Emma was already opening the car door.
“Wait,” he protested.
“Oh stop being dramatic,” she replied, “just keep quiet and play along,” she added.
After climbing out of the car Emma bent down to unbuckle Jack from his car seat. He recoiled and placed his hands over the buckle in a futile attempt to stop her.
“Stop it,” he squeaked.
She leaned in closer until she was inches away from his face and whispered “If you want my help then drop the attitude, we’re going shopping,“.
He scowled at Emma and reluctantly allowed her to unbuckle his restraints. He climbed out of the car gingerly in a deliberate attempt to forestall her, but it was an impotent gesture of defiance. He stood in front of her and looked down at the floor dejectedly.
Emma bent down and placed her hands underneath his armpits, then she hoisted him into the air. For a brief moment they were face to face and looking directly into each others eyes, then she maneuvered him on to her hip and held him tightly. His legs straddled her body, his left thigh rubbed against her lower back and his right knee was touching her waist. She used her right arm to support his weight, holding him close to her body.
“I want to walk,” he mewled.
“There’s cars around, they won’t see you,” she replied.
He had pleaded with Emma not to leave him, but he was beginning to reconsider his feelings. He thought that her decision to take him to the grocery store seemed more like an act of malevolence than an act of necessity.
He wasn’t used to being carried by anyone, he peered down at the ground nervously. As she carried him towards the storefront groups of people shuffled past them and he marveled at how big everyone appeared.
Once they were inside the store Emma carried him towards a shopping cart. She turned her head to face him and whispered “I’ll put you in the child seat, I’ll move faster this way”.
Jack’s eyes widened with surprise, he hadn’t even considered the possibility that he might have to sit in a shopping cart. He was furious, but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself by causing a scene in the store.
He groaned as she lifted him into the child seat, her abdomen was now at his eyelevel, but his feet still dangled far above the floor. She was wearing a crop top and he spent the next few moments staring at her navel, wishing that he hadn’t agreed to go to the grocery store with her.
The sensation of being pushed around the store felt strange to him, it was almost like being on a ride at an amusement park. As they passed by groups of strangers Jack looked down at the floor and tried to avoid making eye contact with people. He tried to imagine that he was somewhere else, anywhere but there.
“Excuse me.” Emma said.
Jack looked up and saw that Emma was attempting to attract the attention of a shop assistant. A young woman wearing an apron turned around to greet Emma.
“Yes ma’am?” the shop assistant replied.
Jack glanced at her nervously, his gaze filled with apprehension. Her dark blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail, she had a nose piercing and a small silver ring adorned her left nostril.
“Please can you show me where the baby section is?” Emma queried, “I’m looking for diapers,” she added.
Jack’s heart jumped into his throat and he looked back down at the floor in shame. As he had suspected, Emma wasn’t merely going grocery shopping, it was a deliberate attempt to humiliate him.
“All of the baby items are on aisle three,” she answered, “follow me,” she continued.
“Thank you.” Emma replied.
Emma pushed the shopping cart alongside the assistant as she led them to the baby section. As Jack stared at the floor and wriggled uncomfortably, he could feel the padding of his own diaper rubbing against his thighs. Every movement he made was a reminder of his predicament.
“How old is your son?” the assistant asked.
Jack braced himself for the answer, he wanted the ground to swallow him up.
“He’s one and a half.” Emma replied.
The shop assistant turned to look at Jack and smiled sweetly, her eyes sparkling with warmth.
“He’s so cute, I have a nephew who’s just a bit older than him,” the assistant remarked.
Jack glanced at her and blushed.
“Here we are, the diapers are just over there,” the shop assistant said, pointing towards a shelf.
Emma thanked the assistant and then pushed the shopping cart towards the packages of baby diapers. Jack let out a sigh of relief as the shop assistant walked away from them and he felt comfortable enough to examine his surroundings. He was glad to see that there was no one else nearby and he thought that he might have a brief respite from the torment. Emma examined the contents of the shelf and hummed to herself, she was lingering a little too long for his liking.
Jack glanced in the opposite direction and saw a group of teenaged girls walking down the aisle towards them, then he looked down at the floor again. As the girls approached he could hear snippets of their conversation.
“You’ll never guess what Ava told me about Noah,” one of the girls babbled.
“Ava, you mean Ava Martinez?” another girl replied.
“No, she doesn’t know Noah. I meant Ava Green,” the girl clarified.
As the girls passed behind him he tensed up and silently prayed that Emma wouldn’t do anything to embarrass him.
“Jack, have you done a poopy?” Emma asked.
He winced and balled his hands into fists. He hadn’t pooped himself, but it was of no consolation to him because the strangers passing by would surely assume that he had done.
“Mommy asked you a question, did you go poopy?” Emma repeated.
He wanted to scream at her, he wanted to call her a fucking bitch. But he feared that if he reacted to her provocations then he might draw even more attention to himself.
“No,” he murmured.
“Well stay still and let mommy check.” Emma insisted.
Emma moved behind him and placed her hands under his armpits, before he could react he was lifted out of the child seat and hoisted into the air. His legs dangled precariously as he felt himself being lifted above her head like a trophy, he couldn’t see what she was doing but he could hear her sniffing. He suddenly realized that she was sniffing his bottom and he was mortified to see a girl standing on the other side of the aisle looking directly at him. He instinctively closed his eyes and then felt himself being lowered back into the child seat.
When he opened his eyes again he was being pushed towards a different aisle, then Emma stopped again to examine the products on a shelf. He glared at her as he crossed his arms and clenched his jaw. His cheeks were red and his nostrils flared, he could barely contain his rage.
When Emma noticed the expression on his face she bent down until her face was only inches away from his.
“If you dare to throw a tantrum I’m gonna find the women’s restroom and change you right here,” she whispered.
Jack took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down as he focused on the rise and fall of his chest with each inhalation and exhalation. He felt like he was in a trance, as though his brain couldn’t process what had just happened. Whilst Emma continued to shop he sat quietly and stared at the floor in disbelief. Then after what seemed like an eternity, she paid for the goods and they left the store together.
As she carried him towards the car, he silently cursed her and wished that he hadn’t asked her to stay. When she buckled him into his car seat he glanced up at her and noticed that she was smirking. As soon as she had taken her seat and closed the car door, he exploded in a fit of rage.
“What the fuck was that?” he snarled.
Emma paused for a few moments to consider her response, whilst Jack waited impatiently for a reply.
“I’m not sure. Karma, maybe?” she answered.
“Karma? Fuck you,” he yelled in a shrill voice.
Despite his efforts to sound menacing, his high-pitched voice betrayed him, causing his attempt at intimidation to fall flat.
“You won’t be fucking me anytime soon, not with that tiny baby dick,” she retorted.
“Then fuck off, we’re finished,” he seethed.
Emma shrugged her shoulders in a gesture that conveyed a sense of indifference.
“We’re already finished, I told you it’s over,” she corrected.
In that moment he didn’t just want to break up with her, he never wanted to see her again. She had damaged his self esteem to such a degree that he couldn’t bare to be around her.
“I want you out of my house,” he ordered, “just leave me alone,” he added.
“Oh stop being such a baby,” she teased, “I’ll drive you home and leave you to calm down for a bit,” she continued.
