Fresh Start

Chapter 17
Playing Along

It was like having a vivid dream. It wasn’t linear and he couldn’t recall it beginning or ending, just snippets of the time spent with the goggles on. It was images he recalled. There were words too, whispering into his ears, but he couldn’t concentrate on them, couldn’t consciously recall what they said. The images though, he recalled them. They were all of toddlers, little two and three year olds, playing, pottying, napping and getting messy. They weren’t like anything he’d seen in the chair before. He had no concept of time, no idea how long he was there. He only knew when the goggles were removed.

He still felt sluggish and lethargic and drifted in and out of awareness. It was only after the doctor gave him another shot that his head seemed to clear and he realised he was sitting back in the doctor’s office. He had no memory of how he’d gotten there from the chair or how he’d come to be dressed in a fluffy pull-up adorned with Toy Story characters. His oversized shirt was gone, all he now wore was the pull-up.

“How you feeling buddy?” Dr Howe chirped eagerly, sitting on a stool before him.

“What’d you do to me?” Tejay asked, feeling alert and no different from before.

“I helped you buddy. Can you tell me how old you are?”

Tejay thought about it and knew the doctor had failed because he still recalled being big. “I’m seven, I’m a big boy!” he announced proudly.

The doctor rubbed his chin seeming to consider whether this answer was progress or not. Then he asked, “So you’re seven years old Tejay? How come you don’t look like a big boy then?”

“Cuz you made me littler,” Tejay declared, not being fooled.

“Well why do you wet the bed then?” Howe asked, a slight smirk on his face.

Tejay felt like he’d been stabbed. How did the doctor know about that?

Howe nodded and explained, “Jessica told me all about your potty problems. That’s why we dressed you in that pull-up. Little boys who can’t control their pee-pees need to have protection.”

“That was just at night! I don’t need baby pants!” Tejay insisted.

“Oh I’m afraid you do buddy. Why you just had another accident on my floor a few minutes ago,” Howe explained, sounding disappointed by his little boy behaviour.

Tejay didn’t know how to explain that. He couldn’t recall what he was doing a few minutes ago, it was all too fuzzy. Maybe he did need to be in baby pants. Maybe he really was a little kid pants-wetter. Howe put his hand on Tejay’s knee to comfort him. “It’s okay mate, it happens to all little guys your age. You say you’re seven, but I think it’s pretty clear you’re not that old yet. I think you’d be better off in Buzzy Bee Cabin for the rest of the day at least.”

Tejay shook his head vigorously. He didn’t want to be in the baby cabin! “No, I don’ wanna!” he insisted.

“Really? You want to go back to the big kid cabin wearing pull-ups? Don’t you think they might make fun of you?” Howe asked seriously.

“I won’t wear ‘em! I don’t need them,” Tejay told the man, secretly fearing that he did.

Howe could sense that fear within the boy and he said, “But what if you do need them? What if you go back to the big boy cabin without them and then make a big pee-pee accident all over the floor in front of everyone? Why they’d call you a big baby, wouldn’t they?”

Tejay could picture this happening in his head. He shook his head now, agreeing that he didn’t want that to happen.

“That’s right. You’ll be much better off in Buzzy Bee. There you’ll be a big boy compared to the babies and if you haven’t had any accidents by the end of the day maybe you will be able to go back to the Kea group,” Howe suggested.

Now Tejay agreed with Howe completely. Yes, he could just go watch the babies play for a day, then he’d be right back to the big boys. That sounded like a good plan. He just had to keep from having any accidents during the day. But that didn’t solve the problem of his being too small.

“But I still look little, the other boys’ll pick on me,” he whined.

Howe gave him a sympathetic nod. “Well, if you do a real good job being a big boy and keeping your pants dry today I might be able to do something about that. But only if you prove you really are supposed to be a big boy,” Howe offered.

“Okay, I’ll go to Buzzy Bee, but just for today,” Tejay agreed, figuring it was the best offer he was going to get.

“Wonderful, I’ll have Debbie come take you over right away.”

“What about clothes?” Tejay asked, looking down at his bare little tummy and babyish underwear.

Howe shrugged and said, “You’re already wearing your pull-up, you don’t really need anything else do you?”

Tejay shook his head. He didn’t want to be paraded around this way, what if someone from Kea Cabin saw him. He’d never be able to go back to being a big kid. “I need real clothes, I’m not a baby,” he told the doctor.

“Well I’m sorry buddy but the other boys and girls in Buzzy Bee will be dressed just like you are now and that’s the rules there. Unless you want to wear even less that is,” Howe added ominously.

“No, I’m not really like them,” Tejay whined again.

“Well it’s just for a day, remember. And besides don’t you want your pull-up showing so everyone can see you haven’t had an accident in it?”

Tejay had to agree that was important. And it was just for a day, so he nodded, hoping he could hide among the babies so no one from Kea Cabin noticed him.

“Great, be right back,” Howe chirped, heading out the door.

The counsellor called Debbie entered the room a few moments later, smiling at her newest charge. Tejay recognised her from around camp but he’d never seen her up close before.

“Well hello there little guy!” she greeted, picking him up by the armpits and swinging him onto her hip without any warning. “Looks like you’re coming with me today! Dr Howe told me all about your problem buddy. And I agree you need to come join my cabin, for now at least.”

“But he promised I getta go back tomorrow if I’m a big boy today,” Tejay informed her.

She smiled, though Tejay couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not. “Well that’s fine with me, but I don’t think it would be so bad for you to stay in Buzzy Bee for the rest of camp. We have a lovely little cabin with some very nice boys and girls and lots of fun toys.”

Tejay nodded, but tried not to think about the tempting toys. He knew what he wanted and it didn’t involve staying in Buzzy Bee one minute longer than he had to. And with that Debbie carried him out of the infirmary and onto the grounds.

It was a very strange sensation to Tejay, being carried. He didn’t like the jostling as the counsellor walked, though he did find her scent quite enjoyable and her clothing soft and comfy against his bare skin. The breeze caressing his bare back made him think of the beach, the only place he usually had his shirt off. He pictured building sand castles and burying daddy in the sand.

“Okay, here we are Tejay,” Debbie announced as she mounted the stairs onto the porch of Buzzy Bee Cabin. “I just know you’re going to love it here. The other little ones will love having a new playmate.”

“But I’m just here for a day y’know,” Tejay corrected her, fearing the counsellor would forget the deal if not constantly reminded of it. “I’m really a big boy. I’m supposed to be in Kea.”

“Oh I know silly, but that’s for tomorrow. For today just let yourself have fun. None of the big boys from Kea are here, so no one will know if you enjoy playing with the little kids for a day.”

“I guess,” Tejay muttered, not really convinced.

“Just try and enjoy yourself dear,” Debbie said, opening the door.

As she carried him in Tejay looked around his temporary new home and saw that it was a great deal different from the cabin he’d been in for several days. It really did look like a giant nursery in many ways. Mostly Tejay’s attention was focussed on the little kids playing on the floor. He was glad to see that he wouldn’t be the smallest boy here. Most of the kids looked to be two or three years old. The oldest among them appeared to be five in fact. The downside of that would surely be a lack of friends. It seemed obvious that all of them were dumb little babies now, so a big kid like him wouldn’t enjoy playing with them. That didn’t stop Debbie from introducing him though.

“Hi little guys!” she announced, “Look what we have here. It’s a brand new playmate!”

The toddlers stared in awe at the new arrival and Tejay didn’t like having all the attention focussed on him, especially dressed in just a pull-up as he was. It was comforting that Howe was right about the other kids, most of them wore no shirts or pants either, just a variety of cartoon print pull-ups or diapers. A few had on little t-shirts, and one pig-tailed little girl wore a pink romper, but most had little on to cover the chubby little bodies. In fact a couple boys were toddling about the play area completely starkers.

“Now everyone be nice to the new boy. His name is Tejay. Make sure you all share,” Debbie directed, lowering him to the floor.

One of the little naked imps tottered straight up to Tejay, looking him over curiously and with a bit of trepidation, like he was an alien. Tejay stared back at the boy, intrigued and a little disgusted as he pulled idly at his tiny little pee-pee, turning his attention to Debbie. The boy gazed up at her and said, “Me wan cowour!”

“Colouring time is later Jamie dear, play with Tejay for now,” Debbie told him.

Jamie looked back at Tejay and declared, “We gonna pway,” as though Tejay had no say in the matter.

Tejay didn’t really want to play with the boy though. First of all the kid’s nudity put him off. Tejay didn’t like being so close to the boy’s exposed body. Even the thought of playing shirts versus skins in a basketball game back in Kea cabin had really disgusted him. He’d insisted on being on the shirts side but then didn’t want to guard any of the shirtless kids. By that standard Jamie’s lack of clothing made him feel infinitely more awkward.

The second problem was Jamie’s size. He was easily the biggest kid in the room, appearing about five years old. And though Tejay felt like a big primary school boy there was no doubt this boy now towered over him. With that weight and height disadvantage Tejay was sure to come off badly in any rough play. And he doubted Jamie wanted to play nice, or even understood what that meant. He may have been the oldest boy here in body but from his diction and the look in his eyes Tejay could see the boy’s mind was firmly back at toddler level.

“Um, no, I wanna play by myself okay?” Tejay mumbled, backing up.

Jamie didn’t seem to understand the boy’s reluctance. He scowled and stepped forward with no warning. “We gonna pway!” he repeated angrily, shoving Tejay to the floor.

Tejay was shaken by the attack and amazed by the five-year old’s strength. He held back his tears though, refusing to look even more like a baby. It was hard, with this much bigger boy glowering down at him, ready to strike again.

“Jamie! What did you do?” a stern adult voice demanded.

Jamie froze and looked up at Debbie with a pout. “He don’ pway,” he declared.

“Because you didn’t ask nicely Jamie. Is that how we treat our friends?” she asked, still giving him a stern look.

Jamie seemed to realise he’d been mean and his emotions did a complete turn-around, as was common in little boys. His angry look changed to one of deep contrition and he dropped swiftly to his knees beside Tejay and threw his arms around the scared shrunken boy.

“Jamie sowwy,” he insisted, hugging Tejay tightly.

Tejay wasn’t sure which was worse, being beaten up by a five-year old or being forcibly cuddled by his naked would-be playmate. He desperately wanted to escape the embrace, squirming at the boy’s hot clammy skin pressed against him while Debbie just said, “Awww,” as though there could be nothing cuter.

“It’s okay Jamie,” Tejay blurted out, hoping the boy would let him go before he crushed him.

But the boy only released him when Debbie called out, “Chris no!”

Finally free of the awkward hug Tejay was able to see Debbie racing across the playroom to where the other naked boy, a skinny black-haired lad with an all-over tan, was standing before an art easel grasping his weenie and spraying the canvas with a golden arc of pee. Jamie was distracted by watching Debbie pick up the peeing boy by his armpits and run him, still peeing everywhere, to the plastic potty seat in the middle of the carpet. Tejay took advantage of the momentary diversion to make his escape, scurrying off to the far side of the play area and hiding behind the toy box.

Tejay stayed hidden where he was for at least five minutes. Finally he peaked out over the top of the toy box, checking to be sure Jamie wasn’t still looking for him. The spot where they’d been was empty now. He scanned the room, spotting the little carpet-tinkler, he thought she’d said his name was Chris, now vrooming a Fisher Price police car across the carpet as though nothing had happened. Tejay wondered how he could be so unashamed by what he’d just done. Looking further around he saw that Jamie was busy sitting on the potty chair himself now.

With a sigh of relief Tejay slunk down behind the toy box again, resting his bare back against the hard wall. He knew he couldn’t stay here all day but at least he had a little respite for now. But for some reason he couldn’t get his mind off what he’d just seen. Chris peeing all over that easel, his pee spurting all over as Debbie carried him, Jamie sitting on that potty right now, surely releasing his own stream of wees. Why was he thinking about those things? The sudden, overwhelming pressure in his bladder answered his question for him.

Tejay gasped as he realised what was about to happen. How had he not felt it before? All this time his bladder had been filling up and he hadn’t been aware of it. Now it was on the verge of bursting. There was no time to think about getting to a proper toilet. He’d have to run straight for the potty chair and do it with everyone watching. He had no choice, no time even to think about the embarrassment of it. Tejay rose to his a squat, ready to leap from his hiding place. But the change of position was too much for his weak little boy bladder.

There was a rush of warmth across his groin and the bottom of his tummy, enclosed within the pull-up. It felt like he’d dropped into a warm bath. His bladder had really been quite full apparently as the volume of liquid soaking his pull-up was significant. Tejay wanted to stop it but it was too late. Once it began it was too painful to stop. All he could do was squat there, thankfully still hidden by the box, as the warm pee swirled around his loins and inflated the pull-up. He watched as the little stars in the design of the big boy pants disappeared, announcing to any grown-up who spotted him that he was a helpless little pants-wetter. He might as well have walked around with a big dark stain around his crotch.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion and Tejay thought the humiliating sensation might never stop. But when it finally did he was left to ponder his much more serious problem. He could feel his puffy pull-up swollen with pee, hanging low around his waist. It was so bulky now and without its designs it might as well be a diaper. Debbie would know what he’d done the instant she saw him. Then he’d never get back to Kea Cabin, never get to be a big boy again. Dr Howe would hear of his accident and would declare that it was proof he was nothing but a little baby and there would be no use changing his body back to its proper seven-year old size. He’d have to stay right there in Buzzy-Bee cabin playing with stupid babies until his own mind turned to mush and he was the one tinkling on the easel without a hint of shame.

The very idea of it made him shake from head to toe. What was he going to do? He had to come out of his hiding place eventually and then she’d see the evidence of his deed around his loins. That was unless he disposed of it first, hid it so she’d never know. The only problem with that was he didn’t have another pull-up to replace it with.

Peering over the top of the box again Tejay spied the changing table all the way on the other side of the room. Right beside it were open packs of diapers and pull-ups. There was a lot of carpet between him and the pull-ups though. And even if he made it he’d just have to pray they were the same design as what he’d had on before, or at least that Debbie wouldn’t notice if they were different. In any case there was no way he could hide his current sopping wet one over there. He’d have to stash it here first and that meant he’d have to suffer the utter humiliation of traversing the length of the room fully exposed.

The very idea of it sickened him, but the alternative was worse. Either he put up with being naked for a few seconds or he gave up his chance at growing back up and would likely end up skipping around the place naked at some point anyway. So with a hard swallow he yanked the wet garment off, just as it was starting to cool and become uncomfortable. He stepped out of it, then stuffed it in the crack between the toy box and the other wall.

Tejay crept around the side of the toy box, waiting for a moment when Debbie would be distracted so he could hurry across to the other side of the room. He could see a place behind the changing table where he could hide once he got there. Then he’d have to wait for another distraction to grab a clean pull-up. So he crouched there waiting for one minute, then two. Finally a blonde girl in a thick diaper tried unsuccessfully to climb the cubbies along the other wall. She fell onto her back with a thud and immediately began wailing. Debbie rushed to her side and Tejay took his chance.

Keeping his eyes focussed on the spot behind the changing table where he’d hide Tejay forced himself not to think about his nudity. The strange sensation of his unhindered penis swishing back and forth as he ran bothered him alright, but he focussed on his goal. Debbie seemed to be sufficiently distracted shushing the girl and calming her wails. He was halfway there when a hand grabbed his arm and stopped him in his tracks.

“You getted nakie!” Jamie announced gleefully, his hand holding the smaller boy’s arm firmly.

“No Jamie, leggo of me!” Tejay snapped, pulse quickening as he realised he was trapped by the vice-like grip the boy had on him.

“You wanna pway?” Jamie asked, then added, “Pwease?” after recalling his last failed attempt to gain a playmate.

“In a sec Jamie, I promise. Just let go a me for now,” Tejay pleaded.

“’Kay,” Jamie agreed, releasing the arm.

Tejay yanked free at last and turned to continue the few more strides to safety when he heard an adult voice ask, “Tejay, what are you doing sweetie?”

The jig was up and he knew it. Tejay didn’t sprint off as planned, he was frozen by fear and guilt. He could feel the grown-up’s eyes on his back. There was no point trying to run away, so he turned to face her. Debbie had successfully calmed the little girl’s cries with a pacifier. Now she was standing right before him with her hands on her hips giving him a confused look.

“I... um... I...” he stuttered, unable to think of what to say.

“What happened to your pull-up dear?” she asked.

For a second he considered telling her that he just wanted a new one, but he knew that would be an obvious lie. He glanced over at Jamie and decided he only had one option if he didn’t want to admit the truth.

“I took it off,” he told her, trying to look innocent, even forcing himself to shrug as though it were nothing.

“Why did you do that?” Debbie asked.

“Cuz I wanna go naked like my friend Jamie!” Tejay lied, forcing a smile.

Now Debbie’s look of suspicion was gone. She chuckled and said, “Well that’s okay then honey. Just make sure you use the potty if you need to go. And don’t play too rough with Jamie, he’s a bit bigger than you.”

Tejay watched with relief as Debbie moved away. She’d bought it! That meant she still thought he was a big boy and he still had a chance to get grown up again. Unfortunately, now he couldn’t put on another pull-up, which meant staying this way for the rest of his time in Buzzy Bee. It also meant the bigger boy smiling like an idiot at him was now officially his playmate and he had no option but to go along with it. All he could do to get through it was remind himself that by tomorrow everything would be set right.