My Best Friend

Chapter 4
Heartache

Chapter Description: Alex falls into depression as he realizes that he can't make friends.

“See what I said about Tiffany?” Ashley asked as they left, “I told you she’s bad news. You should have at least changed at her place; everyone’s staring at you.” Alex noted that passersby were, indeed, staring at him.

“Shut up, Ashley,” he mumbled, not wanting to be heard by anyone. She had been there waiting for him from the moment he left Tiffany’s house and while he did appreciate the company of someone who wasn’t going to just insult him or stare, this wasn’t the type of consolation he particularly wanted.

“Alex, I warned you about Tiffany. She didn’t work out. You meeting other people won’t work out. If it’s moving up in the world we can just go back home and discuss that. You’re really not going to get anywhere with meeting people who just want to use you for their amusement...” Alex avoided eye contact with her. “Dammit, Alex, look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Ashley was going to give him the biggest lecture when they got home, but then she realized they weren’t headed back home at all, in fact, Ashley wasn’t even sure where they were. “Alex, where are we going?” she asked nervously.

“I’m going back to Megan. She’ll know what I should do. Hell, she might even have better tips for me on meeting new people.” Alex replied, desperation in his voice.

“C’mon man... suddenly you’re acting like this Megan is god and will help you through your every trial. Have you ever stopped to think that she might just be using you for her own purposes? A mere stepping stone in her future career?”

“Well, since you’re mentioning it, obviously I have, but I know I just need to meet real people and have normal friendships, friendships that you’re clearly not advocating.” Alex slowed down as he started to scan street signs.

“I’m not against you making friends. It’s somewhat common knowledge that most gamers are shallow people and especially in the case of that last chick, you are obviously trying to sell yourself short for immediate satisfaction. Why not just wait a while for the people who are worth meeting?” Ashley started to recognize the neighborhood. Megan’s apartment was nearby.

“Just leave me alone, Ashley.” Ashley vanished as Alex knocked on Megan’s door.

It took a few minutes, but an unprepared Megan answered the door, “Can I help you?” she answered tiredly, with a hint of agitation in her voice. Alex noticed her hair was unkempt and she was not wearing makeup, which made her look a lot different than when she’d had him over the last couple times.

Alex was a little let down that she didn’t recognize him, but heaving a sigh, he replied, “It’s me, Alex. I need to talk to you about our discussion from last time-”

“Look, you need to SCHEDULE with me before coming over, alright? I’m really not prepared right now and this isn’t a drop-by-whenever type deal. Understand?” Alex blushed and nodded. He hung his head in shame. “Come back around seven tomorrow evening and I can see you then.” Alex thought he heard someone calling her from behind. “Yes, I’ll be right there!” she hollered back. She turned back around to Alex, “Seven work for you?” he nodded in response, looking away after having done so. “See you then... oh, and nice dress.” she closed the door on him.

“Ashley, can you walk me home?” Alex whispered. He couldn’t hold back the tear that rolled down his cheek.

Almost immediately, Alex felt a hand on his shoulder. “Of course, pal.” They chatted on their way back home.

***

Alex had called in sick that day. He was ditching work since he didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. Ashley had tried to talk him into gritting his teeth and showing up anyway, but it just wasn’t going to happen. Alex was depressed.

“Cheer up, dude,” she said again. Alex was playing his music really loudly so he could tune out everything. He’d get complaints, he knew, but he didn’t care.

It was weird. There in his room it almost seemed as though Ashley were a real person, in spite of the fact that she was only a figment of his imagination. Without thinking, Alex just asked, “Why do you seem so much more real in here than you do outside?”

“I think you know that, Alex. I’m not going to spill that one out for you.”

“I knew it. I have no idea.” he sighed.

“Alex, it’s ridiculous to ask me things that you already know. You know full well that there’s a very scientific and logical explanation for my appearance, but you keep drowning out your own intelligence with self-doubt because of how alone you are.” Ashley looked over at the clock. “It’s almost five. You better get ready for your appointment with Megan.”

Alex gave Ashley an empty look. “I’m not going,” he sat up, holding his knees to his chest, “you were right, she just wants to use me for her future career.”

Ashley rolled the chair over to Alex’s side and put her hand on his head. Alex was surprised because he thought Ashley incapable of moving anything. “I’m sure she can still be of help to you though,” she said warmly, “Just think of her as a free councilor. You need money to see someone who can give you the type of help you need, but since you don’t have any money for that, she’s the next best thing. Sure, she’ll give you bad advice from time to time, but she’s a student, so that’s to be expected. Just remember, she’s your COUNCILOR, not your FRIEND.”

Alex remained silent. He just didn’t care anymore. Seven rolled around and he still lay in bed, not moving, not caring. His phone went off several times, but he didn’t bother picking it up. Ten minutes later he heard Freddy calling for him.

“Hey Alex! There’s a chick named Megan out here who wants to talk to you about your imaginary friend!”