The Diaper Bag

Chapter 9
Part 8

“We’re heeeere.” Marie parked and cut the ignition.  Just beyond the parking lot a tiny little pond, locally known as the Duck Pond, even though Goose Pond might be a better descriptor considering the water fowl present.  On the far right side, farthest away from the street was also a sizable playground.  “Ready?”

Lynn stood up out of the car and stared.  She was not, in fact, ready.  The yonder playground was crawling with tots using the equipment.  “I’m not ready,” she whispered. “Not ready, not ready, not ready.”   

She couldn’t get a closer look at them, lest they get a closer look at her.  Good thing she was wearing a diaper, otherwise the not so tiny spurt of pee that came out of her might have been embarrassing.  “Can we feed the birds?” she asked Marie, timidly. Some of them might have even been kids she sat with and their parents!  

“Do you have any bird food?”

Crud!  Why hadn’t she gotten any bread or anything?  To give herself some more time, she sucked down the second half of her bottle, having finished the first half on the ride over.  Food!  If the bag could make orange juice, it could make other edibles, too.  “Something to feed the ducks,” she said, loud enough for Marie to hear even if it was addressed directly towards the bag.  “Something to feed the ducks…”  If her diaper bag was filling up, it must not have been with something particularly heavy..

She opened the main flap.  She very much doubted that ducks could eat the adult sized Pampers that had manifested inside. “What are you doing?” Marie asked.  “Food usually goes in the side pockets, remember?”

“Oh yeah…” Lynn said.  How was it that her friend knew how to use her diaper bag better than she did?  How was it that Lynn didn’t think to check any of the side pockets?  Diapers, wipes and extra clothes went in the main compartment. Bottles and snacks had their own compartments.  So did tiny toys.  That was babysitting 101.

Those concerns went away, when she pulled out a baggy of cut up grapes.  Great for toddlers and waterfowl alike.  “Perfect!

The geese seemed to think so, too.  As soon as it was out, geese started to crowd around the pair, honking and demanding that they share their juicy bounties.  They fed the birds a handful at a time.  Sometimes the geese would catch one tossed in the air right in their mouths.  Other times they’d snap at each other, getting into squabbles over the bits of morsels.

Marie would toss a few towards the back and the geese would race each other for a chance to peck at the ground.

It made Lynn giggle to see.  At least she wasn’t the only one waddling here. She felt herself letting her guard down; relaxing even, until her bladder started relaxing.

The feeling of the padding warming up made her feel extremely self-conscious.  “No one notices,” Lynn told herself.  “No one notices.  I’m just a girl...with her hair up in pigtails...in shortalls...no one can tell what I’m wearing underneath...no one but me...”

“Why do you keep looking over at the playground?” Marie asked.  “Do you want to go play on it?”

“What?” Lynn asked. “No!”  Once again, like the sting of rum in a pina colada, Lynn could barely taste the lie.  

But Marie could certainly hear it.  She tossed the last fistful of grapes behind her and a few in the pond, sending the flock frenzying into the background. Grabbing Lynn by the wrist, Marie led Lynn away from the shallow pool of water and towards the tangled mazes of metal, wood and sand.  “Come on.  Go play on the playground.  I’ll watch you.”

Lynn didn’t put up much of a fight.  It wouldn’t have been much of an experiment.  And if the magic failed her and she looked crazy, then maybe she wouldn’t be recognized.  Lynn Gilligan, sitter renowned around downtown, would surely never be caught doing so patently childish...not without a kiddo to entertain anyways.

Getting closer, Lynn’s walk started to loosen up, and not because her legs were becoming wobbly with fear.  None of the kids were ones she’d babysat before. Bastion was still a big enough city to have people who didn’t know each other on site.  The next thing she noticed was that in terms of dress, she was the littlest one there.  All the other kids...the kids...all the kids….all the kids swinging on the monkey bars and going down the slides or playing tag looked to be somewhere between five and seven, well past potty training age.  That meant that Lynn was the only one around diapered.

That didn’t stop Marie.  When she felt Lynn start to tense up, she gave Lynn a playful swat on the bum.  “Go on,” she said.  “Go play.  Enjoy yourself.”

Much like saying “No”, Lynn didn’t object, at least not verbally, but she breathlessly mouthed the words, afraid that this fantasy of hers would come crashing down on her ears the moment her sneakers hit mulch.  She needn’t be, she quickly realized.  The kids looked up at her, acknowledged her presence, and then went back to playing their games.  One or two even favored her with a quick little wave.

There was no laughter beyond the giggling soundtrack of the playground.  They didn’t think her strange or silly at all.  They didn’t talk to her, either, but little kids didn’t tend to talk toddlers...not that Lynn thought herself a toddler; she was just trying to.

No red flags were raised by the adults, either.  The ones sitting on benches looked up from their phones and gave passing nods of approval. The ones actively playing with their children didn’t seem terribly bothered, either, beyond having to be conscientious of yet another person playing.  “Do you wanna go play on the swings?” one woman asked her daughter.  “Maybe give this little girl and her Mommy a chance to use the slide?”

“She’s not my Mommy,”  Lynn corrected.  The words were out of her mouth before she’d even thought of it.

“Sorry,” the woman said, looking to Marie in stead of Lynn. “I meant babysitter.”

“We go to school together,” Lynn volunteered, wondering just how far the magic would let her push.

Again, it was Marie was looked to for confirmation.  “It’s true,” Marie said.  No more clarification was asked for or given.  The mother just took her child over to another part of the playground, leaving the slide to the not quite twenty-somethings.

That proved it was magic.  Kids could always be naive.  That many grown-ups willing to play along, and at that level?  No.  The only word for that was “ensorcelled”.  A dumb, giddy smile spread out over Lynn’s face.  She was a kid who’d just been given the keys to the candy store.

“Hold my bag for me?” she asked Marie.

Marie slipped it off Lynn’s shoulder and onto her own.  “Of course. I’ll be waiting for you over by the-”

Lynn didn’t hear her.  She was too busy running, her pigtails whipping behind her as she toddled around in exhilaration.  This was great!  Better than great!  She whooped and screamed and yipped and shouted, just running to each piece of play equipment, touching it as if she were uncertain of it’s reality.

It was like being normal. No, it WAS normal.  It was better than normal, in fact.  It was magical. She had purchased more than just a bottomless bag of supplies.  She’d also purchased a magical disguise, one that would let her play and laugh and no one would think twice.  All she had to do was be willing to wear giant baby underwear.  That was definitely a fair trade.

Having done her gleeful perimeter check, the sometimes-babysitter climbed and crinkled up to the top of the playground’s slide. She felt a slight squish as she sat down, but gave it little thought.  

From atop her perch, she saw a little boy, maybe closer to four than five holding himself, dancing in place and hopping from one foot to another while he begged to go on the monkey bars.  His father wasn’t having any of it, though; taking him by the hand and leading him to the nearby public restroom.  The kid looked back over his shoulder all the way to the bathroom, longing to play even as he held himself.  

As if in quiet mocking response, Lynn felt a twinge in her bladder and let it go, emptying even more into her Pampers before sliding down.  That poor kid had to choose between peeing and playing.  Lynn had no such dilemma forced upon her.  As far as she was concerned, this was more than a fair arrangement for her.

The time went by in a blur. Lynn couldn’t honestly say how long she’d been playing, but it was both a lot longer than the actual children- her stamina being greater- and much shorter than she might have liked.  Actual children came, played with each other or their grown-ups, and then went.  Then more.

Lynn didn’t care.  In this moment, in this world, she had few cares, if any.  She slid down the slide at what felt like maximum speed, flattening herself out like a missile and not carrying that it resulted in a giant “plop” when she hit the ground.   She rode on the mounted ponies, not carrying that the back of her head was dangerously close to the ground each time she rocked back with all her might.  She swung on the swings, chortling with glee she swung so high that the chain would go slack letting her free fall for a moment before jerking back into position.

As for her diaper: Lynn didn’t know how many times she used it.  If she felt the need to go, it would register to her, but then she’d just relax her bladder into the thirsty padding and be on her way back to play.  She didn’t lose count as much as she barely bothered to try.  In a short amount of time the act was as easy and forgettable as swallowing her own saliva.  She didn’t know how many times she used it, but wasn’t that kind of the point?

The only time she halted her own play was when Marie stopped her.  She’d been digging in the sandbox for buried treasure and making sand angels when her friend’s shadow fell over her..  “Here,” Marie said, handing her the baby bottle, now refilled with warm fountain water. “Don’t want you getting dehydrated.”  It was nothing for Lynn to take the bottle and suck the water down.  “That juice must’ve gone right through you,” she remarked, looking at the swollen bulge beneath her shortalls.

It was true.  Her diaper was puffed out and about to pop.  One of the snaps had already opened just from the strain. Earlier today such a comment would have made Lynn want to shrink down into a puddle of nothing.  Lynn didn’t care at present.  She was safe.  Protected.  Carefree.  She couldn’t believe she was getting away with this!

Her cares returned, however briefly, going back down the slide.  It was either the seventeenth or eighteenth trip down, when she landed on her bottom with a squelch instead of a squish or a poof. As she stood up she felt the slightest bit of moisture on the back of her legs and knew it wasn’t sweat.  “About to leak,” she moaned to herself.

That was a bummer. Still, it had been a fair trade.  If she’d held it in, the playtime wouldn’t have been nearly as fun.  Going to the toilet would have severely cut in on her playtime, too. Going to the bathroom to change once instead of trotting off to go potty five or six times? It was a much better trade in Lynn’s mind.

Her gait was completely bowlegged as she walked over to Marie by the water fountain.  “Can I have my bag back?” she asked. “I need to go change.”

“You need a change?” Marie took Lynn’s hand “Okie dokie.”  Not looking back, she led a waddling and toddling Lynn into the Ladies’ Room.  

Lynn sucked in her breath- unwilling more than unable- to see where this was going.  Too much, too fast.  “Okay...that’s fine.  This is fine.  Everything is fine.”  Her own words might have as well been a Moscow Mule.

Marie took her to the handicap stall at the end of the restroom; the big one with its own sink and mirror.  Between the sink at one end and the toilet in the other was a changing station. With no cue or preamble, Marie pulled it down.  “Okay.  Hop up.”

It was here that Lynn decided to put on the brakes.  For one, much as she might look the part, she was still fully capable of caring for herself. For another, she was positive that the mounted changing station wouldn’t hold her weight, skinny as she was.  For yet another, she and Marie were close, but not THAT close.

“Um. I can change my own diaper,” Lynn said. (File that under words she never thought she’d have to say.) Her words were so soft that they didn’t even echo off the tile and concrete walls.  “Thanks.”

Marie took a knee. “It’s cool.  I don’t mind.”  Lynn knew she should have done something when Lynn unpopped the first snap along her inseam.  She should have said “no” or shrieked, or skittered backwards, or smacked her classmate upside her head.  “Ooooh, that is wet.” Marie told her.  You were really close to leaking.  Good thing you came to me when you did. Arms up.”

“Arms up?”

Without warning and lighting quick hands, Marie yanked the unbuttoned shortalls up over Lynn’s head like t-shirt.  Her vision filled with pink denim, Lynn d let out a tiny shriek, one out of surprise and astonishment more than fear.  Two strong hands around her hips, Lynn felt herself jump a little while the hands lifted.  

A fraction of a second later she heard and felt the sopping wet squelch of her diaper on the rough industrial plastic of the changing station. Meekly she wriggled like a caterpillar in its cocoon as those same strong hands, Marie’s hands, guided her back into a lying position.

 “You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before,” Marie told her in hushed, gentle tones.  It was the same kind of thing Lynn had told so many fussy two year olds who were just starting to experience shame.  Lynn didn’t feel any shame, not until she felt her friend rip off the tabs on her Pampers.

“MARIE!”   Her heart was pounding.  She could feel the damp air of the bedroom on her urine soaked privates.  She’d gotten away so far with acting like a baby...but that was bad, right?  People didn’t “get away” with good things, did they?  Would Marie normally have done this for her, or was it the magic of the bag compelling her?

“It’s okay.” Marie told her. “ I’ve changed plenty of diapers before.  You don’t have a monopoly on babysitting, y’know.”  Lynn was about to say more, to argue, to fuss, but then she felt the first cool baby wipe caress her skin.  She felt the baby wipe, and melted, every inch of her body relaxing.

This was happening.  This was happening.  But how? Even as her friend lovingly wiped her down as Lynn had cleaned up so many babies, she could not help listen for the creaking of hinges straining under her full weight and heard nothing . So closely was she listening that she could hear and feel Marie cross the girl’s legs and lift them up to wipe her bottom and ball up the used Pampers.  What she didn’t hear was any groaning from mounted changing station.

“Bottom’s a little red,” Marie commented.  “Can’t tell if it’s the start of a rash or just the heat.”  Lynn’s bottom came down on a fresh and dry Pampers.  More oddly, her feet no longer dangled, but rested comfortably.  Had she shrunk or had the station somehow grown?  “Baby powder?” Marie said.  “Where’s the baby powder.  Ah! There it is!”  Without realizing it, Marie had figured out how to use the bag.

An extra sigh of contentment wafted out of Lynn’s mouth as a cloud of perfumed cornstarch coated her front backside.  Its cool dryness was a balm on her sweaty skin, so good after playing in the sun for so long.  Her knees locked and she tensed up as her friend pulled the fresh diaper up between her thighs.  It felt so different, feeling the diaper get fastened around her waist with hands that weren’t hers.  A new kind of magic.  Speaking of magic, she was immensely thankful that there was a visual barrier- her upended shortalls- between her and her friend’s face.  Magic or not, she didn’t want her friend seeing her exalted expression.

“Okay, hop on down on three. One….two...three!”  Marie guided Lynn off the table, her sneakers landing gently back on the floor.  “There ya go!”

Her shortalls stiff and caked with sand and mulch, they  fought against gravity.  “A little help?” Lynn asked.

“Just a second,” Marie said.  For the first time, Lynn heard a creak as the changing table was stowed back up against the wall.  “Okay. I’ll help.”

Marie helped, just not in the way that Lynn had intended.  The shortalls came away from Lynn’s torso, releasing her arms, but they went UP, not DOWN!  Marie had pulled the shortalls right off of Lynn, leaving the skinny girl in just a short t-shirt and clean diaper.

“MARIE!”  Lynn was beginning to feel like a broken record.  “WHAT THE HECK?!”

Marie was already folding up the short overalls.  “This thing is filthy, it’s bad enough you’ve got all the sand in your hair. Your Mom will kill me if you get much dirtier.”

“Kill you?”

Her friend shrugged.  “Kill one of us, that’s for sure.”  She turned her attention down to the diaper bag.  Before opening it.  “Let’s see if you got a spare outfit in here.  Maybe a light and airy sundress.”

“PINK!” Lynn yelped.

Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, Marie reached in past the adult sized Pampers and drew out a pink sundress, just as described.  “Oh! You remembered.”

“Sure,” Lynn lied.  “I remembered.”  No point in explaining the magic to Marie.  She wouldn’t believe it.

Okay, arms up.”   Lynn obeyed and allowed herself to be redressed, first her top being taken off followed quickly by the new dress.  Her torso felt just as loved as her bottom, with the light airy fabric settled around her shoulders.  “Much better.”

Just like in her room, Lynn went over to the stall’s mirror and.  “Not bad. Not bad at all.”  She gave a little twirl and paused.  “Um...I think something’s wrong.”

“What?”

“I think the dress is a little...short.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”  She’d seen more than a flash of puffy padded white when she’d done that twirl. Gingerly, she felt hem of her new dress.  Then went down further and felt the bottom of her diaper.  She didn’t need to lift the dress to do it.

“I think you look cute.” Marie promised.  “That, and it’ll keep you much cooler, while you play.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”  

Lynn looked at herself one last time.  “Okay.  Sure.  Let’s keep playing.”