Chapter 1
Chapter Description: James goes home with his girlfriend for the holidays and it doesn't go as planned
James
grabbed his backpack from under the seat in front of him and stood up in the
aisle. He was so far back it was going
to take a while before he got off the plane.
A few minutes later he saw his girlfriend, Lisa, getting off the
plane. She had invited him home for the
holidays as he had nowhere else to go. It would be his first Hannukah and their first
Christmas together as her family celebrated both. They hadn’t been able to sit
together since her parents had bought her a first-class ticket as, at 6’5”, she
wouldn’t fit in coach. James had to buy
his own ticket, and at 5’3” wasn’t too uncomfortable in coach. He didn’t blame
her. If he didn’t have enough
legroom in coach, he could understand why she would be miserable.
When
about half the passengers had gotten off the plane, James felt a sudden
rumbling and pressure in his guts. He
knew he’d have to get off quickly and find a bathroom. Finally, it was his turn and once he reached
the jetway he started running. Lisa was waiting
in the gate area. James said “Hon. I’ve got to use the bathroom. Can you go get
the luggage and I’ll meet you at baggage claim?”
The
first men’s room he came to had no available stalls, so he ran toward baggage
claim and spotted another one. He was able to get a stall there. He barely got his pants down before his gut
erupted. After several minutes it seemed
to stop, so he wiped, pulled up his pants and went to wash his hands. Suddenly he’s seized by another spasm and has
to rush back into the stall. Finally, after
20 minutes and another 2 hand washings, he seemed done.
He made
his way to baggage claim and saw an empty carousel and two people standing
beside it. As he got closer, he realized
the man was gigantic, at least 8’ tall.
The he realized the much shorter woman standing next to him is
Lisa. He walked up and Lisa said “There
you are. I was about to report you missing.”
Then she said “This is my brother Steve.
Steve this is Jimmy.” Steve said
“Hi, Jimmy, nice to meet you.” James thought «Should
I say something? She knows I go by
James, but getting into a fight with my girlfriend about my name is not the first
impression I want to make on her family. » He noticed she only had two bags with her
and asked “Where’s my suitcase?” “It
didn’t show up on the carousel” she said. “I’ve reported it to the baggage
desk, but they said no location showed up for the claim ticket, so they’d have
to track it down by bag description.
They’ll call us when they find it.”
After a moment while that sunk in, Steve said, “We better get going,
there’s a massive snow storm expected this evening and we’ve got a two-hour
drive.”
They
made their way out to the parking lot and James saw the biggest truck he’d ever
seen in his life. But when Steve stood next
to it putting the luggage in the back and closing the bed cover it looked normal
in comparison. He walked up to the rear
passenger-side door and realized he couldn’t get his foot high enough to step
into the truck, nor was he able to reach the assist handle. When Steve noticed his predicament, he came
over and lifted James up and put him in a car seat and started to buckle him
in. James said “I don’t need a car seat.
I’m perfectly capable of sitting in the seat.” Steve said “Sorry, buddy, but the law
requires for a vehicle this size that everyone under 66” tall has to ride in a
car seat. To his embarrassment, James
noticed that, while she struggled a bit, Lisa was able to climb into the front
seat on her own and buckle herself in.
They started out for Lisa’s
parent’s house, making small talk. After
about 30 minutes, James felt that rumbling in the gut again. He said, “Guys I need to find a bathroom as
soon as possible.” Steve said, “There’s
one about 10 minutes up the road.” James
hoped he could hold on that long.
Finally, Steve pulled into a
run-down truck stop. As James went to
get out, he discovered he couldn’t unbuckle the car seat. He said, “Um… I can’t get this thing
undone.” Steve got out and came around
and undid the car seat and set James on the ground. James took off running for the men’s room
with Steve walking behind.
As James entered the men’s room, he
saw all the stalls were occupied except the one on the end that was missing a
wall and door. He was struggling to keep
from crapping his pants so went to that toilet, pulled down his pants and sat
down as his guts exploded. Steve walks
over to one of the urinals and when he finished, he went to the sink and washed
his hands. Then he turned around and
waited for James to finish. After about
5 minutes, the cramps stopped and James felt sure he was done. He wiped, pulled up his pants, and walked
over to the sink to wash his hands.
When he was done, he and Steve
walked back to the truck where Steve picked him up and buckled him into the car
seat. He then noticed James’s canvas
shoes were soaked from the slush, so he took them off as well as his wet socks
and dropped them in the floor, saying, “Let’s get these wet shoes and socks
off.” Then he got into the driver’s seat
and they got back on the road.
After an hour of chit-chat, most of
which left James feeling left out, he got a sudden and intense need to
pee. He asked, “Are we nearly there yet?” Steve replied, “About another half-hour,
buddy.” James said, “I really need to find a little boy’s room. I have got
to pee.” Steve asked, “Can’t you hold it
until we get home?” James replied, “I don’t think so.” Steve, exasperated, said,
“Ok. There should be one in a couple of
miles.” Steve then started muttering to
himself. James heard “snow storm” and “small
bladder”. He also thought he heard “diaper”,
but convinced himself he must have misheard.
A couple of minutes later, they
pulled into a rather nice-looking truck stop.
Steve got out and came around and unbuckled James and picked him
up. He proceeded to carry James toward
the bathroom. James complained, “I can
walk.” Steve said, “Not in this slush in
your bare feet, buddy.”
When they got to the bathroom all
the urinals are in use, so Steve carried James into a stall and set him down in
front of the toilet and then went to stand by the sink, leaving the stall door
open. James finished and starts to walk
out, but Steve said, “Don’t forget to wash your hands, Jimmy.” He then adds, “Use soap.” James, feeling embarrassed by Steve’s words,
proceeded to wash his hands, with soap.
When he dried his hands, Steve picked him up grabbed a couple of paper
towels, wet them and proceeded to wipe down the bottom of James’s feet. James, alarmed, asked, “What are you doing?” Steve replied, “There’s no telling what you’ve
stepped in on this dirty floor.”
Steve then proceeded to carry James
back to the truck, and buckled him back into his car seat. He got back in and they pulled out of the parking
lot and got back on the road.
After about 15 minutes, it started
to snow. By the time they got to the
house, it had really started to come down.
Lisa got out and headed for the
front door, while Steve went around to the back of the truck to get the luggage
and carried it inside. James was still
unable to unbuckle himself from the car seat or reach his shoes in the
floor. After about 5 minutes, Steve came
back outside and got James out of the car seat and proceeded to carry him into
the house.
When they got inside, James is
confronted with a room full of giants.
He saw, what at first, he took for normal-sized adults, but soon
realized were giant children when he saw they were just in Batman and Robin
Underoos. Steve said, “Everyone, this is
Jimmy. Jimmy, this is my mother.” James said, “Hello, Mrs. Olafson.” She said, “Call me Lois.” Steve then moved on and said “This is my father.” Mr. Olafson says, “Roger.” At this point, James wanted to be set down,
but is too shy to say so, so he started to squirm, hoping Steve would take the
hint. Instead, Steve said, “This is my
older brother Paul and his wife Janet. And these two troublemakers are their 6-year-old
twins, Tommy and Timmy. The little rug
rat over there is their youngest, Bobby.
He’s three.” Bobby said, “and a hawf.” Steve says, “Don’t be shy,
Jimmy. Say hi.” James dutifully said “Hi.”
At this point, he felt a rumbling
in his guts again. He whispered to
Steve, “Where’s the bathroom?” Steve
said, “Again?” Then louder he said, “Excuse us. Jimmy needs to go potty.” James turned bright red as Steve proceeded to
carry James down the hall and into the bathroom. James was struggling again not to poop his pants,
so without noticing what Steve was doing, he yanked down his pants, only then
did he realize that the toilet was tall enough that he’d have to skooch up onto
the seat. Steve saw this, and just
picked James up and put him on the toilet.
At this point, James noticed, not only had Steve not left, he hadn’t
even shut the door. He said, “Can you
please shut the door?” Steve gave him a
look, like he was humoring a child and shuts the door, but didn’t leave the
room in the process. James thought «Why
didn’t he leave? Should I say
something? I really don’t want to make a
scene. »
When he finished, he clambered down
off the seat and proceeded to wipe himself.
Then he realized he couldn’t reach the flush button on top of the tank. He
stammered, “Um, uh, Steve, can you flush it for me?” Steve said, “Sure.” He proceeded
to push the button. James went to wash
his hands and realized the sink is shoulder-height and he can’t reach the
faucet. Steve picked him up so he can
reach and he washed his hands.
They walked back into the living room
where Lisa was busying catching up with her family. After several minutes of James feeling left
out of the conversation, Lisa turned to him and said, “The twins are playing
video games upstairs, why don’t you go join them until dinner.”
He rather felt like he was being dismissed
like a little kid, but didn’t want to argue and was bored. He went upstairs to the playroom where Tommy
and Timmy were playing a racing game. He
asked, “Can I play, too?” Timmy replied,
“Sure.” Tommy gets up to get another controller and James realized the twins
were actually a couple of inches taller than he was.
Feeling a little inadequate, he sat
down to play the game. In a little
while, he forgot himself, and actually began to have fun. He continued playing with the twins all
afternoon until they were called down to dinner.
