Some New Disaster

Chapter 11
Epilogue / Curtain Call

Chapter Description: The conclusion of the Humiliation Trilogy-- Part 3 of 3.

Epilogue

I still remember ambling out of Willowbrook High, exhausted, wasted. In light of orchestrating the more interesting qualities of Edward Bernard’s 2013 graduation the previous year, and forcing that poor sap Marcus Halberstram to run an infantilist nightclub shortly thereafter, I had just assumed that transforming a single home economics class into an anarchic paean to humiliation would have been the most manageable of the three ideas. As I worked, though, in that cozy little corner of the classroom, I began to make peace with the notion that I was quickly running out of them.

My boyfriend was in front of the school, waiting for me.

“So...” he said. “Is that it? You’re done?”

I shook my head. “I’m not done. I’ll never be done. This is what you and I do.”

“And Lola?”

“She can take care of herself,” I said. “She stays here in Chicago, with this school. I don’t.”

He put a hand on my shoulder. “Is there anything I can do while you recharge?”

I pulled out my pencil and wrapped my boyfriend’s other hand around it.

“Take this,” I said. “Keep making people happy.”

We kissed, and though the sun was hours away from setting-- at that moment, it may as well have been.

I touched his cheek gently with two fingertips. “We have a flight,” I said, smiling. He simply nodded.

Nico and I left the school grounds, looking for a taxi to take us to O’Hare.

Curtain Call

Little Trip, clothed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, a navy overshirt, and garishly tie-dyed flip-flops, steps onto the stage and stands behind the podium. He taps the microphone a few times, clears his throat, and begins.

“Well, I hope we all had a lot of fun here,” he says. “Three anthologies, 17 months, boundless humiliation, and an arguable amount of actual literary value. But you and I both know that I wasn’t attempting anything more honorable than trying to excite you and make you happy.

“Obviously, none of this would have been possible without the unspeakably magnificent corpus of The Tainted Sins, whose style I consciously adapted after it completely mesmerized me. I thank him profusely. But, now that all the scenes I’ve felt like painting in that particular idiom have been brought to fruition, it’s time to bring out our cast of main characters so we can dim the lights on this chapter and move on to new and better things.”

A spotlight shines on center stage, several feet away from the podium.

“From ‘Valedictorian 2013,’ Mr. Edward Bernard.” The character comes out onstage and takes his position in line. “Don’t piss him off, folks,” Trip says with a giggle. “He’s a very persuasive fellow.

“From ‘Ecstasy,’ Dr. Marcus Halberstram.” Paul arrives from backstage wearing plastic pants and a pinned-on cloth diaper that is in desperate need of a change and a laundering. “Y-yeeeahh...” says Trip. “Marcus is the diaper.

“And, from ‘Some New Disaster,’ Miss Celia Berdette.” The teacher reluctantly takes her place onstage, still more than a little resentful that her words and actions had been orchestrated outside of her own volition. She feels badly for Marcus, as well. Miss Berdette glances at Trip and wonders whether Edward has a price.

“Of course,” Trip continues, “There’s my other half, Lola Trechlyn--” --and the young woman comes out, as stunning as ever, but looking a tad worn out from caring for three new babies.

“--and my better half, Nico.” The famed AR author treads across the stage to give Trip a loving kiss, and then their arms are around the smalls of each other’s backs.

Dioscuri pokes his head through the curtain. “Need my help with anything?”

“NO!” shouts everybody on the stage.

“Alright then!” says Dios, clapping his hands together a single time. “I’ve got some-- um-- stuff-- to do!” And he’s gone.

“Thanks for reading, everybody,” Trip says into the microphone with the utmost sincerity. “This isn’t the end.”

Everyone onstage vanishes in a flash of light, except Lola, who returns to her office to write, and Trip and Nico, who go back to theirs to do the same.

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