A Tortured Soul

Chapter 8
Chapter 8

The feel of movement made Eddy open his eyes. It was early, light barely showing through the curtains of his room, and he was still tired. The fear of his punishment later today, and Katie waking him up to drink a ba-ba had left him exhausted.

A big yawn consumed him, and when he closed his mouth he felt the nipple of a ba-ba and began nursing. He knew Katie would just get mad if he didn’t, and wanted to keep her from making his punishment worse.

“That’s it baby, but you hold it. I’m gonna get you all snuggled up first, then I’ll hold your ba-ba for you,” she patronized him, with a big smile on her face.

Eddy blushed then, as he grasped the ba-ba. He hadn’t even tried to hold it, and that upset him. Trying to forget about it, he watched as Katie slid him over on the bed and spread a blanket out. He saw her arrange it so the corners of the blanket were pointed toward the head, foot and sides of the bed. He didn’t know what she was doing, but figured it had to do with her snuggling him, and wished she would just go back to bed and leave him alone.

When she lifted him up and laid him back down on the blanket, he began to get anxious. He saw her reach down and take the bottom of the blanket and cover his feet with it, making sure it was snug against the bottom of his feet. Next she took his ba-ba, and replaced it with his paci.

“Lay your arms down, Baby,” she ordered. Afraid to make her angry, he laid his arms straight along his sides. “Good boy,” she cooed, as she took one corner of the blanket and pulled it firmly across his body, rolling him up just a bit, and tucked it underneath him.

Eddy noticed that three quarters of the blanket was still off to his right. He was startled, and nursed furiously as Katie began rolling him over, pulling the blanket tight as she did. When she had rolled him completely up, he was uncomfortable, and try as he might, he couldn’t make the blanket loosen.

“Settle down, Baby. You wouldn’t want me to have to make your punishment worse, now would you?”

Eddy immediately stopped squirming, and answered with a fearful, “No.”

“All right then, just lay still and do as your told then, Sweety.”

When Katie sat down on the bed, pulled him up along side her and cradled his head, he knew she was gonna make him drink his ba-ba. He tried not to squirm as the thought of drinking, with the fear of what she was going to do to him, brought the need to pee pee.

“Here, drink your ba-ba, Baby,” she told him, offering him the nipple after taking his paci.

Eddy nursed hard and fast on the nipple, doing what he was told so things would go easier. When he felt the need to pee pee become impossible to fight, he relaxed and felt the warm pee pee soak his already wet dipey.

“You are such a good baby boy,” she said sweetly. “Guess what?” she asked with an expectant expression.

“What?” he replied as fear gripped him.

“Mommy’s going to take you out today. Won’t that be fun?” she cooed with a smile. When Eddy didn’t respond, she continued with, “I bet you’ll just love nursing your paci, and drinking your ba-ba, and going pee pee in your pants in front of everyone.” When Eddy’s eyes teared up, she offered, “Oh, I know Baby, all the little kids will laugh at you, and the grownups probably will too, but you’ll be a good boy won’t you?” glaring at him.

It was too much. Eddy didn’t know why she was making him do these things, and having to do them at home had been hard and frightening, but the thought of going out of the house and having people see him acting like a baby pushed him beyond his limit. “I don’t want to be a baby!” he cried.

Eddy regretted the words the second they came out of his mouth when a flash of fierce anger crossed Katie’s face. He breathed a little easier when she hugged him close and said, “Awww...you’ll get used to it, I promise Baby.”

He resumed nursing then, wishing he hadn’t said anything. When she reached down and picked up the wipes from the floor and set them on his chest, he felt a little better.

“Mommy’s gonna use these to clean your pee pee wet bottom this morning. She’s also gonna use them to clean you up when you wet your pants later while we’re out,” as she flipped the box over so it sat on it’s lid, then flipped it again.

The ba-ba was half empty when Katie pulled it from his mouth, and offered him his paci. He was sure to start nursing right away so she wouldn’t get mad. The bed crinkled as Katie shifted him down, sat at the head of the bed above him, and pulled him toward her until the back of his head laid against her stomach. With his body wrapped in the blanket, he couldn’t move, so he laid back and just nursed.

“Look at me Sweety, I want to ask you something.”

Eddy pushed back with his head, arching his neck to look up at her. Katie had a concerned look on her face, and asked him, “ Are you sure you don’t want to be a little baby and nurse your paci while we’re out?”

Eddy didn’t know what to do. She seemed to be concerned about how he felt, but he knew that could change in a second. With hope that she’d relent, he just shook his head no.

“And you don’t want to drink your ba-ba? Or pee pee in your pants?” she continued in an understanding tone.

He wanted to tell her she was crazy and ask her why any ten year old boy would want to be a baby, but kept his thoughts to himself and answered, “No.”

The look on her face changed to one he had never seen before. It was vicious. Before he could say or do anything, he felt the corner of the wipe box pulled tightly up against the soft flesh under his chin. When he tried to move, she pulled it hard up into his skin, and held it there.

Eddy tried to open his mouth to cry out. He had to let Mommy or Daddy know! He couldn’t move his head because the box held him tightly against Katie’s body, so he started trying to get his arms free to wrestle the box away from her.

The blankets he was wrapped in held him tight, and then it hit him. He couldn’t breathe!

The calmness in her voice as she said, “Look at me Baby,” terrified him, but when he met her cold gaze, and she told him, “You don’t want to be a baby, so you’re just going to have to die. Bobby died because he didn’t want to either,” he started struggling with all his might to get free of the blanket, all the while trying to pull air into his lungs.

Tears streamed back toward his hair from his wide eyes, as he looked like a fish desperately flopping on the ground as it tried to get a breath.

Katie wrapped her legs around his middle, holding him in place, and said, “I tried Baby...I tried to let you be a sweet baby boy, but you don’t want to.” The only sound for the next ten seconds was the crinkling of the plastic sheet as he fought to free himself.

The blanket held him securely, and he could feel his stomach muscles clenching and releasing as his body tried to breathe and cry at the same time. With a desperate, pleading expression on his face, he looked Katie in the eye and forced his lips to form the words, “I want to be a baby!” the thought screaming in his mind. Over and over he tried to get her to understand, as the burning in his lungs increased.

When Katie kissed his forehead and said, “Don’t worry Baby, it’ll be over soon,” he thrashed even harder, still forming the words with his mouth. But terror he didn’t know he could feel gripped him when she added, “And then Mommy will feel just like you are now,” with a terrifying smile.

Eddy didn’t even realize it when he filled the seat of his diaper, as his legs kicked again and again. Forcing his lips to move farther apart, despite the pain of the plastic box jammed against his lower jaw, he continued to mouth the words as tears flowed freely now. The thought of Mommy feeling terrified as he did now crushed any objection to being a little baby boy. He truly meant the words he screamed in his head again and again, as his lips repeated them over and over.

“What’s that Sweety?” she asked with a surprised expression. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

The bed creaked as Eddy bucked within the blanket now. The burning in his lungs was terrible now, and had spread to his other muscles. With a herculean effort, he managed to barely make one nod of his head, even as he continued to move his lips, desperately trying to get her to understand him.

“You want to be a baby? Is that it?”

Hurting badly, as the acid built up in his body from not being able to breathe, Eddy forced the box ever so slightly down in a single nod. He was losing the strength to kick now.

“All right then. I’m going to take the wipes away, and when I do I’m going to cover your head with the comforter. If I hear a single sound from you, I’ll put the box back where it was, and this time I won’t take it away, got it?” she asked in a determined tone.

With the last of his adrenaline driven energy, Eddy bucked again, and then slumped to the bed. When the box came away from his neck, he was pushed to his side, and everything went dark as the comforter covered him. He lay gasping and sobbing silently, terrified to make any noise. After what seemed hours, his lungs managed to feel like they were getting enough air, and he settled to just crying. The cover moved off his head, and he felt the nipple of his paci touch his lips. With a soft sob, he latched onto it and began nursing furiously, desperate for comfort.

“Not a sound Baby, until I tell you to, hear me?”

Eddy nodded and squirmed closer to his bear, needing to feel the softness of it’s fur. He nuzzled against it when Katie brought it closer, saying, “Awww...there’s Mister Bear Sweety, I know you love your bear.”

A moment later, taking his paci, she asked, “Are you going to be a sweet baby boy now?”

Eddy immediately, without hesitation answered, “Yes, I promise,” tears streaming down his face.

“That’s not how babies talk Sweety, try again.”

Instantly, Eddy cried, “Yeth, I pwomithe,” a pleading expression on his face.

“That’s a good boy,” she praised with a gentle kiss to his cheek. “That’s how you need to talk now Baby, okay?” sounding like it mattered that he might not like it.

“Okay,” he answered quickly. Looking to the paci in her hand, he asked, “Pathi?” in a pitiful voice.

“Awww...here it is Baby, here’s your paci,” she answered as she offered it to him. “All right Baby, it’s time to get you free of your blankie. I didn’t want to punish you, but you didn’t listen. You’ll listen now though won’t you Honey?”

“Mmmm Hmmm...I thowwy,” Eddy cried softly in a hoarse voice, trying to show Katie that he was going to be a good baby boy now.

“It’s okay Sweety, it’s all done now,” she comforted, and then added in a cold tone, “As long as you’re a sweet baby boy.”

Eddy spit his paci out, and sobbed once before saying, “I baby! I pwomithe.”

“Okay then, let’s get your blankie off now.” And Eddy resumed nursing. When she pulled away the blanket, Katie sniffed a couple of times, grasped Eddy’s bottom firmly and cooed, “See, you can be a good baby when you want to, you made poopies for me like a good boy.”

Eddy laid still, sucking his paci as she slowly worked the mess against his bottom until it was thoroughly coated. He didn’t remember going poopies. He didn’t remember much of anything but being terrified and not being able to breathe, and that Mommy was going to feel the same thing. He didn’t like the feeling of the poopies on his skin, but knew that from now on, he would be going poopies in his dipey or his pants.

He flinched when she picked him up off the bed, and laid him on the carpet on his tummy. When he saw her pick up the wipe box, he began trembling and silently cried harder.

“I’m just going to lay them right here Baby. Now I need you to listen to me,” she instructed. When Eddy looked into her eyes, she told him, “You’re going to lay right here Baby, and count to one hundred. When you’re done, you’re going to cry hard and loud for Mommy, understand?”

Eddy nodded his head without hesitation.

“Good boy. When Mommy comes in here, you’re going to tell her, using baby talk now, that you fell out of bed. When she picks you up, you tell her you have a boo boo, and touch under your chin,” she continued. “Don’t forget to ask Mommy to kiss it and make it better, Baby. If anyone asks, you fell down on the wipe box, understand?” she asked, glaring at him.

Eddy, desperate to make her happy, touched the corner of the wipe container, and cried, “Feww wight dewe.”

“That’s a good boy,” she praised, and bent to give him a kiss. “Alright Baby, start counting.”

Eddy watched as Katie gathered up the blanket and left the room. When he finally reached one hundred, he was thankful he didn’t have to hold his tears in anymore, spit his paci onto the floor, and cried a long, hard, “Moooomyyyyyyyy!” The stress of everything that had happened consumed him, and the cry was repeated again, and again.

Even when he felt Mommy’s gentle hands pick him up, snuggle him close and begin patting his messy bottom, he wailed long and loud. Not a person in that house could ever mistake that cry for anything but a very upset toddler.