Tales of Regression

Chapter 6
Regression Device Testing

Chapter Description: An evil villain tries out his new age regression device. Just something simple, I guess, since I definitely wanna get into actually posting here more than once a blue moon.

"It is about time we test my little gadget here." I tell my lackey I a rather calm manner as I set it on the table. At first glance it just looks like a standard old pocket watch. Inside it holds a very powerful system fully designed by me: Harold Harp, the most evil genius there is. Set around the room are various monitors and a smart board with a map of the podunk town we are currently residing in. We're safely underground in a very secure room.

"What is it, boss?" My lackey is just a heavy brute I keep for God knows why since he usually gets in my way somehow.

"It's a device that connects to my global satellite web and causes it to emit seemingly harmless radioactive waves on wherever I mark on a map using my special mapping program and..."

"But won't people get cancer from the radioactive waves?"

"Sigh, how many times have I told you not to interrupt me, Bubba?! I don't care what will happen to them! It'll weed out the weak in my new American order! Now, as I was saying, those waves will do more than just be there. They will change the biological clocks of anybody in range to whatever I set with this device!"

"Change their biological clocks? Like changing what time they think it is?"

"No you nitwit! It makes their age change! Watch the smart board for a moment and Do Not Touch!" I open the device and set the interface inside to "-3y" and then focus my attention to the board. "For a test run, I have decided to use the only elementary school here since it was super easy to get cameras installed under the guise of me helping them keep the school safe. What absolute buffoons, thinking I would ever do anything that doesn't benefit me more than anyone else." With a tablet on the table I draw a rough outline of the school after zooming in on it. "Wherever I draw a closed shape I can hit with the waves, assuming the area isn't too large."

"Wow! You are smart, boss!"

"Yes, yes I am. Now, watch the screens and monitors to see it in action." As I click and hold a button on the back of the device, I set the monitors and smart board to a view of different classrooms with the kindergarten class on the smart board. Children of all ages fill the screens, in a clear view. As we watch we see all the students become even younger than they already are, their teachers as well. As it stops, the students all look exactly three years younger. It's just like I set the device to.

"What happened to them?" I slap my face in annoyance over my lackeys' lack of brain cells.

"They got younger! Look at the smart board! The students before were all wearing clothes you'd expect a kindergartner to wear and were busy with carpet circle time or whatever they call it. Now most of them are pant-less; babies wearing either diapers or training pants. They are young enough that kindergarten is their future, not their present."

"But if kindergarten is their future, why are they in the elementary school?" Some day I really should consider just getting rid of Bubba for a lackey with a modicum of intelligence. After erasing his memory of everything we've ever done, of course.

"Because those were kindergarten students before I tested my device! Look at the other monitors!" First graders are reduced to a mix of daycare and preschool aged children. Second graders all to preschoolers, third graders to kindergartners, etc. "It warms the cockles of my heart to see my invention work, no matter how much of the design I stole from others. Now, watch as I reverse what I just did!"

"You're gonna make them all old and wrinkly?" I feel like I shouldn't even dignify him with a prim and proper response.

"God, I can't wait until the day I replace you." I make sure to set it to "+3y" and begin the process again. The students all undergo a mass amount of growing up, a lot of them from not even being old enough to attend kindergarten.

"Why are they still acting like babies?" The ones turned young enough to be babies and toddlers are still acting like they don't know any of what they learned in school, let alone completed any of the developmental milestones they should have.

"Because their brains became younger as well. It caused their neurons to revert back to a similar state of what they were like when they were three years younger. In other words, if three years ago they couldn't use big words, then they lost the ability to use big words when they became older. The same goes for their actions."

"Oh... What are you gonna do with this invention?"

"In order to form my new American order I will be turning everyone I can into babies and raising them in a way that they will only ever obey me with undying loyalty! I'll swoop in and take control of every single educational institution and brainwash them all, starting from daycare! I'll have an army of soldiers willing to protect me at all costs and nothing can stop me! I'll turn anyone who opposes me into a sniveling brat who'll need to relearn how to walk and talk before they can think about challenging me! I'd even hold the world hostage if I had to!"

"But what if they don't forget?"

"Impossible. Their tiny little baby brains will not be able to hold all of their past memories and experiences, so it'll just delete them and from there start the process of creating new neural connections. Now, there is one more feature I want to try out. In the single town park, in the gazebo, there is a group of people protesting my affairs in this godforsaken town. I made sure to hide a camera there as soon as I caught wind of it." I quickly switch over the smart board from a view of the school to the gazebo. It looks like it's mostly women with a few non-working men involved in this protest. I don't see how their small protest will change a thing but they will soon find that they'd rather play in the park than protest.

"They seem real angry at you, boss."

"Who cares? By the time I'm done with them, they'll be a non-issue. Now, I'm going to try the pinpoint feature, which will cause anyone hit with it to de-age to a specific age regardless of how old or young they are instead of becoming a set amount older or younger."

"But what if it fails and they become too young?"

"As far as I'm aware this device will not allow one to become younger than being a newborn, so you cannot die from becoming too young in normal circumstances. Not that I care, but it's good to note that. Let the fun begin!" I make sure to set the interface to "2y" before drawing a crummy circle and blasting them. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this working so well. As I watch I'm able to revel in seeing these protesters go from what they might call "upstanding citizens" to nothing more than babies who couldn't even tell you their ABC's or even count past five probably.

"It worked boss!"

"Yes! They're all exactly two years old again! Hahahahaha! With this device I can take over America for good!" As I watch the screen I see some of them cry, some move around, and others just play with each other. It's a miracle to see once grown up protesters having regained their youth against their will.

Warning! Intruder Alert! Warning!

"What? But that's impossible! Nobody should have been able to track me down here! Nobody I tell you! Unless... No! Not Agent Acorn! Quick, Bubba, get the lead suits and helmets from the other room!" Bubba hurries as fast as he can as I prepare the device. In my haste I set it to "5y" without thinking. Suddenly the door to this room disappears and in comes a man in a secret agent black suit with the top part of a giant acorn covering his face, going down just past his eyes with holes so he can see. It almost looks like he's completely covered in something painful like fiberglass.

"No. Stop, Harp, or I will stop you." His voice is absolutely infuriating because he sounds just like an early 2000s robotic as can be English text to speech voice you'd find online made by an amateur.

"Are you okay? You look like you're covered in something."

"No. My whole body is covered in fiberglass and it hurts a lot." His expression is also pretty generic and bland as well. He pulls out a taser from his suit jacket as I start the device.

"I set this to radiate some of the age regressing rays! Now you will slowly regress into... Damn it! I set it to five years old! That isn't young enough to make you fully forget who you are!" He doesn't fire as he puts away his taser.

"Lucky for me, my acorn and suit is lead lined, so your rays shouldn't hurt me. In fact, the acorn makes my head even harder and thicker skinned because it has had to work extra hard to maintain the helmet for long periods of time." As he speaks I feel myself quickly becoming younger. I watch as Agent Acorn appears taller and taller to me, despite the fact we're about the same height. Rather we were before I decided to ruin my chances. I can feel a returning youthful energy rush as I become younger, my body going through reverse puberty. My body starts to round out more as I become younger, regaining child like features like shorter limbs and slightly pudgier everything exterior wise.

"This isn't fair!" I scream and cry at the top of my lungs as he comes over and takes my doodad out of my hand.

"Ouch. Now, where is your lackey?" Suddenly I head a loud thud from the door behind me and I get real scared. "I'll take it that's him. Maybe by the time you get out of maximum security government prison you'll be old enough to vote, again. Youth is wasted on the young." Before I can get a chance to run away I'm handcuffed...