The adventures of Jett Freelancer

Chapter 11
Jett Freelance And The Playground of Doom

Chapter Description: At last! Does adventure await our intrepid hero? Sort of...

Jett grabbed the plastic vine and swung across the pit trap full of colorful plastic balls. As he swung the vine back towards Tina to allow her to cross, he wondered what had brought him here.

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Kurla had taken care of Emilia who still had the mind of a toddler with a young teen’s body. While her hands were full, she enjoyed Emilia’s company.

Emilia’s day had been spent with coloring books, naps, and television, she was excused from middle school with a sick day. Jett hoped that whatever had caused her to mentally regress would right itself soon.

After putting Emilia down for the night with her favorite stuffed animal, the two went to Jett’s crib and reviewed their notes for schoolwork.

After working through the bulk of it, Jett sighed deeply.

“Is the schoolwork boring you?” asked Tina, “We can take a break and have a snack if you’d like.”

“It’s not the schoolwork, Tina,” said a wistful Jett, “I was just remembering a past adventure and it made me long to be out there in the wild, discovering something.”

“You mean the fetid jungle, where a mere scratch could eventually cause gangrene and limb loss?” she said sardonically.

“Well, that too, but…”

“Or is it to be out with a bunch of like-minded people who like to party now and again?”

“Hmm, maybe.”

“So, instead of being in the comforts of the mundane, you’d rather be out risking your life for a discovery or lost artifact?” she asked sincerely.

“Yes, despite being in the lap of luxury, I feel like my talents are being wasted as a student studying the Congo instead of being there,” he affirmed.

“Cheer up, Jett. There’s only a couple of years to go before you do just that. For now, though, you have to put up with your boring life with a boring girlfriend,” she said half-jokingly.

“What? Tina, you’re the first person that I’d ask to go with me! You’re not the least bit boring.”

“Really?” the doubt in her voice wasn’t strong, but it was there.

He put his arms around her, “Really. I wouldn’t want to go on an adventure without you, I’d miss you too much!”

Tina got her scrap of ego boost and returned the hug. She kissed him long and hard, the night’s study session had come to an end.

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Jett awoke on a floor composed of multi-colored foam puzzle pieces. He had pulled off the warm light-blue blankie that covered him and looked out at a landscape that had the puzzle pieces as a ground for as long as the eye could see.

He went over to the fire and found out that it was composed of brightly colored plastic being pushed by a small electric fan. A bright bulb in the middle of it illuminated the plastic flames giving them the appearance of being lit.

Large plastic trees dotted the puzzle piece landscape with the sounds of animals and birds could be heard in the distance. Later on, it would turn out that the sounds came from loudspeakers strategically placed at various points on the puzzle piece ground.

Tina stirred, sat up, and stretched her arms. “Good morning, Jett,” she greeted him, “are you ready for sch…” she caught herself as she realized that they weren’t in Jett’s crib.

“What the heck am I wearing?” she said as she looked at the large motorcycle gloves that covered her hands. She pulled the front of her baggy brown tank top forward and looked for her boobs. A pair of little girls' breasts stared back.

“Where are we?” she said as she stood up causing her very large cargo shorts and panties to fall to the ground. She pulled them up in a vain attempt to fasten them to her waist. Finding that they were already fastened, she held them up and walked over to where Jett was standing.

Jett, wearing a brown leather jacket, safari shirt, fedora hat, and a kid’s plastic bull-whip didn’t answer. He just scanned the colorful horizon trying to get a bearing. He looked kind of comical doing it considering that his current age was five.

He looked at Tina in her oversize outfit as she approached and asked “Let me guess, you’re Lara Croft, after being regressed to a child, right?”

“How the heck should I know?” she said as her outfit shrank down to her proportions. She spotted a pair of kid-sized combat boots and tube socks and went to put them on.

She came back to where Jett was standing while buckling her leather belt with two tactical leg holsters that each held a plastic squirt gun.

“Are we dreaming, do you think?” asked Jett as he flicked his plastic whip. A small speaker on its handle made a whip-cracking sound as he did so.

“No, I pinched myself as I was getting dressed. We’re wide awake in a very large playground,” she answered.

“Well, what are we supposed to do here?” he wondered.

“You’ve got me there,” she said as she looked around.

A loud voice came over an unseen loudspeaker, “Attention! Attention! Will Jett and Tina please report to the front desk?” The message was repeated a few times.

“I guess we need to find the front desk?” said Jett as a portion of the foam tile under his feet lit up with brightly glowing arrows.

“The sooner, the better!” agreed Tina.

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“There you are!” said the receptionist, a young girl in red pigtails wearing a power suit, “Ms. B will see you immediately!” she ushered them into an office and left closing the door.

Behind the desk, sat Betty, she wore a power suit similar to the receptionist and got up to greet the young adventurers.

“Welcome, Welcome! It’s an honor to meet you two at last. Please have a seat and I’ll tell you my proposal.”

“Betty! Can you tell us what’s going on here?” asked a thoroughly confused Jett.

“I sure can!” answered Betty, “You’re here for adventure and I’m here to convince you to find the lost idol of youth!”

“Why would you want an idol of youth?” asked Tina.

“Well, can’t you see that I’m older than you? I miss the days when I could wear diapers and play with my toys. Now that I’m an old woman of 16, I have to deal with responsibilities and grown-up stuff!”

“Oookaay. But, seriously, what’s going on here? Why are we here?”

“I told you that already! Do you want the job or not?” asked an exasperated Betty.

“Um, let me confer with my partner first,” suggested Jett. He turned to Tina and asked, “Any ideas? I don’t have a clue.”

“Let’s take the job,” advised Tina, “we can fill in the details as we go. It beats standing here doing nothing.”

Jett turned back to Betty and said “We accept. Where are we going, exactly?”

Betty fell into her role as employer and briefed the two on their contract. She used a kid’s lightsaber to point to a crudely drawn map of Africa and circled a small portion of it with a dark crayon.

She gave them hand-drawn tickets with the word “Congo” scrawled on them and advised them that any supplies they might need would be on the airplane waiting for them at the airport.

The two left her office and went “outside” the small cubicle that housed Betty and her receptionist to stand at a plastic taxi stop.

A young man came up in a pedal car and asked where they were going. They told him to take them to the airport and he let them sit on the top of the back seat while he pedaled furiously for about 25 feet.

“That’s two suckers for the fare,” he held out his hand after he stopped. Jet found them in one of the pockets of his leather jacket and gave them over.

“What, no tip?” said the unhappy cabby as he got back in the pedal car and pedaled off.

They walked up to a small desk with a young girl behind it. “Tickets, please!” she said as they walked up.

She looked over their hand-drawn tickets and said, “Yep, these are legit. It’s amazing how many fakes I have to go through, these days!” She pointed to a playground ride that looked like an airplane. It was made from metal tubing and could carry several "passengers".

The pilot greeted them. She was the same girl from behind the ticket desk and now sported a pilot’s cap.

“Hello sir and madam!” she said, “Where are you going today?”

Jett handed over the “tickets” and she said, “The Congo? Okay, get on board, and we’ll take off immediately!”

She made a good show of acting like a pilot as she made engine noises for takeoff. After about 5 minutes of occasionally getting out and swinging the “airplane” around on its pivot, she announced that they were now in the Congo.

“Where’s the hotel?” asked Jett.

“There isn’t one, silly! You guys just need to go to the lost temple over there and meet me back before lunch,” answered the pilot.

“Whatever,” muttered Jett. He took Tina’s hand and they strolled in the direction that the pilot had indicated.

As they walked towards it, they heard “Oooo icky! She’s gonna get cooties!” from the pilot. Jett shrugged and they continued.

Along the well-marked path were signs made of pasteboard and sticks that announced how close they were to the temple. “It’s not too much further!” said one. “You’re almost there!” said another.

They traversed a rope bridge that was three feet above a fake river with plastic alligators on its surface.

They jumped over several pit traps full of colorful plastic balls by using a plastic vine that was attached to a frame over each one.

Finally, they came to what looked like a cave with a large handwritten sign taped to it. The sign announced that they were entering “The Lost Temple of Youth”.

More brightly colored foam pads on the floors and walls welcomed them as they entered the vast cave. Their path was well-lit by glowing lights on top of TIKI torches.

Finally, they entered the forbidden chamber of the idol of youth. (No, really, that’s what the sign on the entrance said it was!)

A Maneki Neko, (Japanese beckoning cat), figure sat on top of a dais with its grinning face looking at them while its arm moved up and down in a “come hither” motion.

“Well, there it is,” said a nonplussed Jett.

“Yep, that’s it alright,” answered back Tina, “Should we take it?”

“I guess,” said Jett as he walked towards the dais.

Just then, Damian popped out from behind the dais, he was dressed in a Nazi storm trooper outfit.

“Just one moment, Jett Freelancer!” he said. He stopped, looked at some writing on his hand, and announced “You will not have it! I will take it for the furor!” and moved towards the dais.

“Did you mean ‘Führer’ by any chance?” asked Jett with a pained look on his face.

“Yeah, that’s what I said, fucker! Furor!” said Damian as he grabbed the cat statue.

Tina, who was an avid fan of the Indiana Jones movies, mockingly remarked, “No, don’t do it! There are consequences if you’re not prepared!”

“Piss off, bitch! I…” said Damian as he shrank into his SS outfit. His little head popped out from the neck of his shirt and he looked around with tears in his eyes.

“What happened? I want my mommy!” said a confused baby Damian.

Tina walked over and pulled him out of his clothing. She cradled him in her arm as he cried. After a while, he calmed down with an occasional sob or two.

“It’s okay Damian, shh, shh. Whatever possessed you to grab the idol in the first place?” asked Tina.

“They told me to do it! They said…” Damian’s face took on a look of mindless innocence as he finished his statement, “baa baa, baa, da, da!”

Jett sighed. “Looks like we’re still in the dark. Any ideas on how to pick up the idol without being regressed, Tina?”

“I’m willing to bet that’s why I have biker gloves on,” she put the happy gurgling Damian down and picked up the idol with her gloved hands. The cat continued to beckon at her.

“Okay, so if we make skin contact, we’ll be regressed to babies. Good to know!”

“Do you have a sack to put it in?”

Jett looked through his pockets and found a burlap bag of just the right size. He held the ends open and Tina dropped the idol into it. He looked at the entrance and started to move towards it.

“Wait, Jett! What about Damian?” said Tina as baby Damian explored his surroundings.

A pair of hands reached out from the shadows and picked the baby up. The two ran over to where Damian disappeared and found a solid blank wall.

Jett figured that Damian was being well cared for. He turned his mind to the present.

“Okay. Now we just need to get back. I wonder if there’s a bathroom? I need to change out of this soggy diaper.” said Jett.

“There should be one somewhere along the way, I’m certain.”

They walked out of the cave to the waiting airplane and pilot. A changing station was also waiting. Jett got a diaper change and the two turned to the pilot.

“Let’s go, we’ve got the idol,” said Jett.

“Could I see it first?” asked the young girl.

“Okay, we’ll hold it for you to look at, but don’t touch it!” advised Jett.

Tina pulled the idol out of its bag and the pilot looked at it. “Hmm, not much to look at. How’s it supposed to work?”

“Oh, that’s easy! You...” said a trusting Tina as the pilot pulled out a squirt gun and pointed it at them.

“Just give me the idol and I’ll be on my way! No one has to get wet!” she said as she jerked the plastic toy to and fro.

Tina looked at Jett questioningly.

“Just give it to her,” said Jett.

“You’re a wise man, Jett Freelancer! I’m gonna be set for life when…” the pilot grabbed the idol and found herself reduced to a hapless baby. Tina retrieved the idol and Jett held open the bag while she put it back in.

“How’re we going to get back home, now?” asked Tina.

“We walk! Said Jett as he pointed at Betty’s office which was about 30 feet away.

“Oh, yeah!”

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“You’re back!” said the receptionist, “Go right in, Betty’s waiting.”

“So you got the idol!” said an elated Betty, “Janice! Bring the cart!” she yelled to the receptionist.

Tina took the beckoning cat out of the bag and placed it on Betty’s desk. Betty admired it and went to touch it.

“Don’t touch it!” yelled Jett, “If you do, you’ll be regressed into a baby!”

“Oh, poo! I don’t want to be that young. What happens if I just lightly touch it?” asked Betty as the receptionist rolled in a baby cart with various diapers and baby paraphernalia.

“No idea, but you’re welcome to try it,” advised Jett.

Betty very quickly and very lightly touched the idol. Nothing happened.

“Well, what a gyp! I was gonna…” said a rapidly regressing Betty. She sat down on the floor as her legs refused to hold her up. “Baa baa gaa” she said to finish her statement.

The receptionist picked her up and tended to her baby's needs. She held up the diapered baby and held out the baby’s hand. “Say bye-bye to the nice people, Betty!”

“Baa baa!” said a happy Betty.

Jett and Tina left the office to go back to their campsite.

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“Well, that’s that!” said Tina, “Is it over? Can we go home, now?”

“Danged if I know,” said Jett, “do you suppose we’re supposed to go to sleep, first?”

“Let’s give it a try.”

The two woke up the next morning in Jett’s crib. On Jett’s dresser, there was a piece of paper with the words “Participation Trophy” scrawled on it in crayon.

“When I next see the creator, I’m going to have some words with him!” muttered Jett.

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