Fresh Start

Chapter 29
Awakenings

Matty was enjoying the breeze as mummy pushed the trolley through the car park and into the big shop that mummy called “Countdown.” Matty wasn’t as smart as other boys. He didn’t read yet. But he was a good boy and mummy just said he was very ‘special’ and that meant she loved him even more! He liked being in the big shop. There was lots of things to look at and do. They always went here after he finished big boy school. He liked going here because people saw his big boy uniform and knew he wasn’t a baby. It was a pretty uniform. He knew the shirt was the colour yellow and the shorts were blue. Everyone would see it as he rode on the side of the trolley, gripping the metal with his toesies. He had bare toesies and bare feet. That was okay, even special big boys could go ‘round in bare feeties. Only really big teenagers and grown-ups had to wear shoes and he wouldn’t be that big for ever and ever it seemed.

As they turned a corner into and aisle mummy said, “Well hello there Linda!”

Matty didn’t listen to the grown-up talk much, but he looked to where mummy was talking and he saw another trolley and sitting in it was a boy he knew. The boy was sitting in the big part of the trolley with his feeties against the wire mesh at the front. He was wearing the same uniform for big boy school and his feets were all dirty too cuz he wasn’t a big teenager yet neither. He was a boy like Matty.

He hopped off the side and ran over to the side of the other trolley. “Hi Davey!” he yelled, waving.

“Hi Matty!” the other boy chirped, climbing up and swinging a leg over the side to hop out of his trolley.

“Careful sweetie,” his mum warned.

“I’m ‘kay,” he answered, landing safely beside Matty.

Davey was the same height as him and wore his hair a similar way. Their shorts were the same too, falling midway between their knees and ankles. Yep from bare toes to messy hair they were almost identical, even with big gap-toothed smiles. The only difference really was that Matty’s shorts ballooned out a bit where he wore pull-ups under them. Mummy said they were special boy pants and just in case he made more pee-pees. All the boys in the special class (Year 1S) wore those undies under their shorts. When he made an accident no one got angry or nothing. They just went to the nurse and she changed him. That didn’t make him a baby though, he put on his special pants standing up and he only did pee-pee in them when he forgot to go potty.

“I ran round the playground three times at recess,” Davey bragged.

“I gots two wecess in my class,” Matty bragged back.

“Lucky!” Davey exclaimed.

“Uh-huh,” Matty nodded, happy.

“How much homework you get?” Davey asked.

“None,” Matty told him.

Davey seemed awed. “Mummy, I wanna be in his class!” he declared.

“Sorry honey, but you’re in Year 1P and that’s just how it is. Don’t worry though because next year you’ll get to play just like now but the other boys will have to do even more homework and have less recess in Year 2,” Linda told him.

Davey seemed happy with this and nodded to Matty before sticking out his tongue.

“Don’t you worry about having to pay those fees forever?” Sara asked Linda.

“No, once they’re put into 1P, or permanent, they have reduced fees, subsidised by the government. We only pay for with first six years, then it is totally free. Oh and they cycle the teachers so they aren’t stuck with the same one year after year. We’re lucky to have gotten him into Parkhurst Primary at all actually. You know how they mostly put the permanent ones in separate schools. But we wanted a more normal experience for Davey.” Linda explained.

“I don’t see why they give them homework. I mean, it isn’t like they’re going to actually learn anything. Why not let them just play?”

“The idea is to make is as normal as possible. Normal Year 1s have homework. Surely you can appreciate the need to be more normal,” Linda added.

Sara nodded. “Of course, we try to make Matty feel as normal as possible. He’s getting better with the potty, but we’re not all the way there yet. He still needs pull-ups outside the house and at home mostly needs to be naked or at least bare-bottomed to remember to use the potty. Of course if he had his way he’d be nude twenty-four seven.”

The women shared a chuckle at that while Davey and Matty continued discussing the finer points of Spiderman. Matty liked talking with Davey. The boy was so smart and funny. He wished he could talk like such a big boy. And then, in a flash, everything came back to him. It was a massive head-rush, actually making him a bit dizzy. Suddenly Matty remembered that he was actually Matt, that he was 17-years old and very smart.

For Matt it felt like waking up after a very long sleep. Everything since the camp was a blur, too difficult to focus on. But now he was standing in front of Davey and was actually the same height. That was a real shocker since he knew how very small the little kid was. His hand brushed across the rough material of the shirt he wore and he looked down to see it was a primary school polo. He blushed in embarrassment, but then saw it was worse. He didn’t have shoes on and his toes looked grimy. He gagged. He was a little kid and… there was something strange about his undies. They were too thick, too soft. He was in damned diapers! No! This was all wrong! And this stupid brat was still prattling on about Spiderman for some reason. What was going on here?

**

Chris was following his big brother down the footpath. He always liked following Natie. The bigger boy always knew the right place to go to find some mud to squish around in or a tree to climb in or some grass to eat. Now they were headed to nanna and grandpa’s house. It was three houses down the street from their house, so they often made the trip back and forth. Naturally mummy was watching from the front gate of their house to be sure they got their safe and sound. Three houses was a long journey after all, even if Natie was such a big boy.

The pavement was all nice and warm under his footsies and the sun felt delightful on his back and bum. A warm breeze played across his tummy and chest. Natie’s bare bottom jiggled ahead of him and he giggled at it. Natie had on a cowboy hat today. He didn’t get first choice cuz he was littler. So Chris wore the policeman hat instead. It was clumsy and big on him since he was only very little, not like Natie. He was nakie too, cuz nakie felt sooo nice and Natie was always like that and he wanted to be just like Natie, just like big brother in every way.

They were almost to nanna’s house when Natie stopped all of a sudden and turned around to face Chris. He pointed down at his weenie and said, “Gotta pee-pee!”

Chris looked down at his winky too. He wanted to be just like Natie so he said, “Pee-pee!”

Natie turned to face the fence lining a neighbour’s yard, grabbed his thingy and started to pee on it. Chris copied him, feeling lovely release as his urine splashed across the posts and on the pavement and even across the tops of his feet. He giggled at the way that tickled. And of course it was mid-giggle, mid-pee-pee, that Chris remembered he wasn’t a toddler but a teen boy. The realisation that he was standing on the footpath in full public view, nude and peeing was enough to make him shriek, shocking poor Natie who was just trying to finish his pee.

Chris looked over his shrunken little body, observing the very sad reduction of his manhood to a tiny stub. He also noted the total lack of tan lines on his body. He was a golden shade from head to toe. It was his worst fears come true. He’d become Natie.

**

A few blocks away the Morris family was having a small gathering at Claire’s house. The whole extended family was enjoying the afternoon sun by having a barbeque in her backyard. There the men gathered round the barbie and talked about sports and politics while the women sat in lawn-chairs sipping wine and swapping stories. Some older children played an impromptu game of cricket at the back edge of the lawn while a couple five or six year olds climbed about the swing-set and the older pre-teens took turns on the trampoline. The smallest kiddies ran helter-skelter about the yard, a little curly-haired girl in a pale lavender play-dress chasing a boy in brown corduroy overalls waving her fairy wand at him.

“It’s lovely to see them so happy isn’t it?” Claire commented between sips of her chardonnay, looking over at the little ones running and giggling.

“Oh yes, you’d never know one of them was actually a teenager once. They behave so similarly,” her friend Gina remarked.

“I know, it always amazes me how effective that treatment is. Tejay hasn’t spoken a single complete sentence since. You should see how excited he gets when Dora the Explorer comes on the TV, or how proud he is to show me the tinkles he’s made in the potty,” Claire gushed, smiling at the memories.

“But doesn’t it bother you at all that he’ll never actually master the potty? I mean, he won’t will he?” Gina asked.

“No, you’re right, he’ll never quite get it. The bladder muscles will never strengthen and he’ll never be able to master the skill mentally either. He’ll always need pull-ups for going out and diapers for beddy-byes. But changing his wet undies is a small price to pay for his happiness,” Claire pointed out.

Gina nodded, admiring Claire’s commitment to her boy’s happiness. “Good for you Claire,” she said. “I couldn’t imagine changing my little one’s dirty diapies forever. If you can handle it, you’re a better woman than I.”

“Well thanks Gina, but I’m not sure I’ll win any mothering awards for changing diapers,” she chuckled.

“Isn’t it going to be expensive though? I mean, he’ll have to be in kindy forever and that’s not cheap.”

Claire waved a hand dismissively. “No, it’s free for us. The government covers the whole bill.”

“Isn’t it hard for him to see all his friends grow up while he doesn’t though? Does he ask questions about why he doesn’t grow?” Gina inquired, intrigued.

“The kindy he goes to is one of the special ones for boys and girls like him and all his friends come from there. So no, he never really asks about it. I think he knows that other people grow up but he doesn’t and he seems quite happy about that. After all he loves being a little boy, playing all the time. Why would he want to grow up?”

As the women chatted amiably the little girl in the lavender dress continued to scurry after the toddling little boy. Then she stopped and yanked at the hem of her little dress, yanking it up and down as though trying to yank it off like a big t-shirt. Unsuccessful at that she slipped her arms out of the short sleeves and let the dress slip down her tiny body and pile round her ankles. As soon as she’d shed her only clothing item it became abundantly obvious to anyone watching that the child was not a she at all. It was a little boy.

Claire shook her head and rolled her eyes as she saw what was happening. “Oh boy, looks like we have a little streaker again,” she told Gina, who also smiled at the adorable little boy’s innocence.

Stepping out of the piled-up dress Tejay continued his pursuit of his cousin Randy, finding it much easier to chase him free of the confines of icky clothes. The dress was pretty but nakie was much more comfy and made him quicker. Grown-ups were looking at him but they were all smilie and he liked their attention. He ran as quickly as his little legs would carry him, closing the distance to Randy and giving him a little shove, sending the uncoordinated toddler to his hands and knees. Tejay jumped on top of him and playfully wrestled with the other boy. The grass tickled his bum-bum and back as they rolled around. Randy smelled like peanut-butter and fresh grass too.

After a moment of lying breathless on their backs Randy rolled to his hands and knees and crept after a line of ants moving along the grass. Tejay decided to follow the boy, interested in the small black thingies. They reached the anthill and watched them go in and out with awe. Randy stuck his pudgy finger in the hole a couple times and they watched the ants scurry this way and that. Tejay giggled at the crawly things moving. A warm breeze blew threw his hair and Tejay forgot the ants. His attention span was incredibly short now of course. He stood and stared up at the fluffy white things in the sky. He could almost recall their name, almost. His hand gravitated to his favourite toy, his pee-pee, always readily available when he went nakie-bum. He manipulated it idly, not in any sexual way of course, though he did enjoy some pleasant sensations from his play. The grown-ups didn’t seem to mind his actions, just smiled at the simple innocent way the little boy explored his body.

It was as he stared up at the sky that a flip switched in his mind. Tejay the high school rugby jock was back. He was a tough, popular teenage boy. And he was standing naked in front of his whole family and touching his shamefully tiny weenie! He was certain that he went red from head to toe. Everything came back to him in a rush. His manhood had been stripped away from him, his sporting ability, his agility, everything. His arms and legs were tiny and covered in baby fat. His skin was smooth and tanned all over, no hair under the armpits or on the chest anymore. He glanced at the purple dress piled nearby and shuddered. He’d been running around dressed like a damned girl! He wasn’t sure if that or being in his birthday suit was more embarrassing. Either way everyone here, every family member he knew, had seen him that way. And right now they were looking right at him. His little cousins Steve and Don who had always looked up to him before were just looking at him like a silly little baby now. He was a role-model no longer. Now he was the one who followed the bigger boys around. He was nothing but a little sissy who tried on his little cousin’s dresses and sunhats because he thought they were pretty. It was too much to fathom!

**

It was a very important duty that Ryan had to carry out and he was so proud it had been entrusted to him. Mummy had told him about his special role a month ago, right after he met his new daddy. At first Ryan hadn’t liked new daddy much, but then he found out how nice the grown-up was. Daddy gave him bronco rides on his back and swung him around upside down by his ankles in the yard. Daddy chased him around the house in games of tag and hide and seek, but always seemed so silly and slow that he’d barely manage to catch Ryan even though he was a big grown-up and everything.

Mummy said she’d been friends with daddy a long time, but now that Ryan was a good boy daddy wanted to move in and be his real daddy. She explained that to make that official they had to have something called a “mare-age” and that meant a “weed-ding.” Mummy explained that this was a big party where everyone got dressed up fancy and mummy and daddy promised to love each other and Ryan for ever and ever. Dressing up didn’t sound too fun, but a big party did. Ryan kept picturing lots of balloons and clowns and maybe even a bouncy castle!

It turned out not to be that much fun at all. There were no bright colours or magic tricks and all the adults were really quiet. But that was okay with Ryan because he was focussed on his special job now. He felt really big all dressed up just like a grown-up in his button-down shirt with a little red clip-on bow tie and sleeveless black vest. Unlike the grown-ups he didn’t have real long pants. His were much baggier and fell in the middle of his calves. He also didn’t have shiny black shoes like new daddy and the other grown-up men and his big nine and ten year old cousins wore. He was barefoot, but mummy said it was okay for little boys his age to go that way in a wedding and the shiny shoes would be all pinchy on him. Nevertheless the tie, shirt and vest that matched the men’s outfits made him feel very proud.

At the moment he was standing at the back of the church. Mummy had already walked to the front in her big puffy dress and the grown-ups were talking about something up there. He was focussed on the little girl in the short pink dress who kept taking handfuls of flower petals from her little wicker basket and trying to stuff them down his shirt. She was the only other person here who was little like him. He felt some satisfaction that she too had been denied grown-up shoes like the bigger girls got to wear. But she wasn’t going to be his friend, girls were too annoying to play with, especially this one.

“Okay sweetie, it’s your turn, go ahead,” Aunty Helen tapped his back sending him on his way.

Ryan walked proudly down the aisle holding his special pillow and the shiny, pretty ring in the centre up for all to see. The grown-ups heads turned and they smiled and some took photos as he walked past. He held his head high, eager to show everyone what a big boy he was, to show off his suit and special shiny ring. He reached the front of the church and saw mummy and new daddy smiling down at him. With a grin of his own he held the pillow high as he could, just as he’d practised. And as the grown-up took the ring from the pillow Ryan felt a flash of recognition.

His mum was in a wedding dress, she was marrying that jackass Paul, the guy who fixed their cars. She knew he hated that jerk! And they were so tall now. No, he was so little! Memories flooded back: the camp, his escape, wetting his pants in the mall, his friends’ betrayal. Ryan stood frozen as he took in his surroundings, all the friends and family-members staring at him in his stupid little kid outfit that didn’t even include any shoes! There had to be a way out of this, there just had to be.