Ben There

Chapter 12
Late April; The Terrible, Awful, Horrible Week

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Chapter Description: Benji endures a horrible, terrible, awful week.

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Late April; The Terrible, Awful, Horrible Week

Danielle had been helping in one of the little kids rooms on Tuesday morning and had to go to the nurse’s office at the same time Benji left to get his shot, so they walked across the courtyard together, and Danielle took his hand. When they got close to the upper school, Benji said, "We betta’ le’ go. Not suppos ta do PDAs in the big building."

"Nah-uh," Danielle said, "No one knows how big you really are, Benji, so we can hold hands wherever we want now."

"Yeah, that’s a good things about being little, right? If we don’t make Adam and Amba’ mad."

Danielle chuckled and said, "I don’t think we will. What else is good about being little?"

"Don’ know. Like I ran on the paths in the park, and no one got mad. Big kids can’t. I brought a race car to school to use between lessons and no teachers took it away too. And like that."

"So it’s fun, huh? You can get away with all kinds of stuff."

"Yeah, but I can’t wait to get all big again. An’ just four more shots, and then I will. Yay!"

"Why such a hurry if it’s fun, Benji?"

"’Cuz then I gonna drive a car this summer!!"

"Well, I think you’re nice just like you are now! ’Course you were super sweet big too though."

"And then I could do stuff alone then too."

"Ohh, bleah. I hate doing stuff alone. I want to always have friends with me. Don’t you?"

"Yeah, I like that that way, but, but I jus’ mean that different," Benji said as they walked into the nurse’s office.

Nurse Abrams told Benji to go back to the scale room and get ready, and Danielle went with him and even started to go into the room and Benji had to push here out.

She said, "Why? We just said it’s more fun to do things with friends. I’ll keep you company, and I’ll help you. OK?"

"But I got to get naked!"

Benji did get to go into the room alone, but then he remembered that his mom had told him to wear some bright blue denim overalls that day. He had only worn that kind of thing once before, and he had a real hard time getting the hooks at the shoulders to work because he couldn’t see them. So a minute later he had to go into the hall and get Danielle to help him anyway.

After she undid the hooks she hugged Benji and said, "I remember when you would get all flustered and stuff if you had to ask for help, Benj. This time you didn’t! I think we found another good thing about your ’shrinking’, huh? Call me when you need help getting them back on."

"Yeah, my mom always tells me about that stuff too." In fact, Benji was now even able to ask teachers for help with those hooks, but he was real happy when they came to the bathroom door with him and didn’t make him walk up and down the hall with them undone.

After Nurse Abrams gave him the shot, she said, "You are always so good about these shots, Benji. Some people really make a fuss."

He smiled because it was hard to put up with the shots, but he always reminded himself that he was almost sixteen and strong. He said, "I know. Is’ not hard, but I heard Cyndi b’fore."

"Oh, but she tried so hard to be big, Benji. She just couldn’t after a while. Now I’ve got some bad news, but you’re so good about the shots, maybe you won’t mind. From now on you have to get them twice a week, because I can only give you half as much at a time."

"What? Why? Na-uh!"

"But you’ve been so big about them before. We just have to do it this way now because you are so small, and you only have them for a few more weeks."

"How long?"

"You’re last one will be four weeks from today, pumpkin, and I’m going to miss you a lot when they’re all done."

Danielle fastened his overalls for him, and she tied his shoes, and he told her all about his daddy’s super knots that he used to be able to do that came undone when you wanted them to, just like regular knots, but couldn’t retie themselves, and he couldn’t do them now and couldn’t remember the regular way and didn’t need to learn because his daddy didn’t mind tying them and he’d be big again soon and be able to do the real good way then.

As they walked to the junior school, he mentioned about now getting two shots a week. He told her it wasn’t any problem because, even if they did hurt, it was OK, because he could take it. And so it was OK he had to get twice as many now.

And Danielle said, "You’re so tough and sweet. You need a hug." And she gave him one right in the court yard between the buildings. Benji accepted the hug but couldn’t see why she thought he needed one. He wasn’t afraid of those ol’ stupid shots at all.

*******************

The extra shot wasn’t the worst news Benji got that day, however. He went up to see his mom when he got home from school, and he snuck into her office because she was on the phone and got into her lap until she could get off.

"I got a present for you today, puppy. Did you go into your room yet?"

Benji shook his head, so they went straight there and on his bed was a new bear with a blue coat and a floppy red hat.

Benji yelled, "It’s Paddington!"

"Yep. I got him because you did so well on your book report, and I got the second book for us to read at story time too."

"But now I got four bears (he was counting Ting-Tang, a panda, as a bear.) and only got two dogs. Higgins and Henry ganna feel all out numbered."

"Is that a hint that I should buy you a doggie now?"

"Nah-uh -- But it could be!"

"Well, you do have a birthday in about a month. We’ll just have to tell everyone: "No Bears! Puppies!"

"Yeah, I’ll be sixteen and can learn to drive!" He was rolling on his bed and tossing his new Paddington Bear up and down as he said that, and he realized that not many people were going to give stuffed dogs or bears to a sixteen year old, and he wasn’t really sure how he felt about that.

His mom pulled his thumb out of his mouth, which was something she usually didn’t do, and said, "But you’re forgetting some things, puppy."

"What?"

"First, there’s a third puppy dog that lives in this room. You!" and she tickled his stomach.

Benji giggled and said, "Woof. Woof."

"And you’re also forgetting that fortune you’re making in tooth fairy money. You could pick out a puppy for yourself. How many teeth have you lost in the last few days, puppy dog? "

"I lost seven since Friday, and I got three loose now. I gonna buy cars for my race track though." It wasn’t fun losing all those teeth, but letting them come out on their own only hurt for a few minutes and was a lot better than when the dentist did it.

"And that, baby, is why we’ve got a problem. You’re not only loosing teeth really, really fast. You’re growing in new ones really, really, really, really fast. And you are going to be using those new teeth for years."

"Yeah, but I always brush ’em good."

"I know. And I know you suck your thumb sometimes. Don’t you, honey?"

"Just sum’ti’s."

"And that’s why we have to do something that I don’t want to do, and that you don’t want to do. Until all those pretty new teeth get all the way in, we need to keep the yucky stuff painted on your fingers so you won’t put them in your mouth. Once they’re grown in we can stop."

"I’ll just stop. I can."

"I know you will try like a champion, and we’ll use the yucky stuff to help. OK?"

"OK. It’ no big deal anyways, mom. I don’t do it much."

"OK, Sweetie. Just in case it is a problem, I also got you some things to replace your thumb, especially at night, that the dentist recommended," and she opened the drawer of the bedside table, and it had three pacifiers in it.

"Passies!" Benji yelled.

"Uh-huh. They’re just in case you miss your thumb too much, but I want you to try one now, to see how they feel, baby."

"Com’on, Mom. I won’t need ’em."

She took one and rubbed his hand with the nipple and said, "See, they’re softer than thumbs and a different shape so they will let those teeth grow the right way. You tried out a baby bottle with Vicky, didn’t you? (Can’t anyone around here keep anything secret?) You can try this for me, honey."

And he did, for about fifteen seconds, and it felt just fine, but he was never, never going to use it again. And he never, never did until he’d been in bed about ten minutes that night.

He also didn’t go to his mom’s office and ask her how long he was going to have to keep the yucky stuff on his fingers until it was halfway to dinner time. ("Around ten days, puppy.")

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If Tuesday was about bad news, Wednesday and Thursday were about humiliations and embarrassments.

On Wednesday afternoon his mom took him and Kathy to the barber’s and the grocery. Those weren’t the bad things; he had had to get his hair cut a lot lately, and it was going to be his first turn to ride in the cart while shopping, so he was looking forward to that.

They went to a kids’ hair shop, but he was used to that by now too. However, when the hair cut lady called him to the chair, she had put a booster seat in it. It was only a very small boost, but that had never happened before. He knew about letting people guess about his age by now though, so he didn’t say anything. But then, after a few clips, the lady said, "Honey, you need to sit much stiller, please."

Benji’s mom came over and said, "Let me talk to him while you cut it. He’s working real, real hard on not sucking his thumb today and has stuff painted on them."

The barber said, "Oh, I understand, sweetie. And I might have just the thing."

Benji worried that she was going to bring him a pacifier and make him use it right in public, but she brought him a lollipop instead, and that worked really well for the entire hair cut, and a little beyond. Benji didn’t mind the lady knowing he used to suck his thumb, but he was embarrassed that she knew he had a hard time stopping, and that was worse than being seen on a booster seat, and neither was close to the worst thing that was going to happen that afternoon.

They didn’t go to a regular grocery store this time but to a giant discount center, because Benji’s mom wanted to get gardening supplies, printer paper, picture tacks and frozen pizza.

Benji took his place in the cart, and Kathy didn’t do any better than he had done pushing it. After they helped their mom pick out some impatiens and coleuses, and when they were holding their noses on the fertilizer aisle, Kathy read off the list, and it was due to frozen pizza being on it that Benji experienced his next degradation of the afternoon.

His mom said, "Your daddy and I have to go out tomorrow, and Maggie could cook, but Vicky wants to do something special just for you two; to her nothing’s as special as frozen pizza, I guess. And I expect both of you to be nice when she is babysitting."

Benji, since he was sitting in the cart, couldn’t stomp his foot, but he said, "She’s not babysitting me, Mom! And you know why."

"No, I don’t. Why, puppy? -- Hey, birdseed! Let’s get some and set up our bird feeders this weekend! Will you two help me? If I can find them."

Benji was distracted by all the birdseed choices, but once they turned off that aisle, he said, "Mom, Vicky can’t sit me. I’m whole lot’s older."

"Oh, yeah. But you’ve been pretending to be her little brother lately, right? Well, just pretend she is your babysitter, and do what she tells you, and be the sweet boy that you usually are. OK, puppy dog?"

"But I’m older!"

"Yes, you are, honey. But she likes taking care of you so much, let’s just let her pretend. OK? Or you can stay in your room except for bath time, but that sounds like no fun at all. You know she won’t be mean to you."

Benji knew he didn’t want to stay hidden, and that he liked Vicky, but he still didn’t like the idea of pretending she was in charge. He said, "She will be real bossy, I bet."

"I’ll bet you all your tooth fairy money she isn’t. She will tell you to do the same things I’d tell you. When it’s bed time; brush your teeth; don’t pull Kathy’s pigtails. Things like that."

Benji didn’t want to take that bet. He didn’t think Vicky was mean any more, and the stakes were too high, especially since he could see the toy department right ahead.

"I don’t got to take a bath that night though, do I? Can I get a bunch a’ racing cars with my money?"

"Yes, and only two."

Learning that he was going to have to pretend to be babysat by his little sister was still not the most degrading thing that happened that day; it was only second (or maybe third or fourth) place. The winner happened after he had picked out his cars, and had opened one to play with in the cart, and reams of paper had been picked up at the computer department, and as he rolled out of electronics and into pet care. That was when he noticed he needed to go to the bathroom.

"Mom, I gotta go to the ba’hroom!" he said.

His mom said, "Uh-oh." Then she easily lifted him out of the cart and, holding his hand, found someone in a red vest and said, "Excuse me; which way to the women’s room?"

The vested person said, "End of aisle thirty-six."

And Benji wondered why she’d asked about the lady’s, but knew the boy’s would be near it. But his mom seemed to have decided it was a real emergency and was walking real fast and pulling him along so he couldn’t say anything.

And he didn’t say anything until she had almost pulled him through the lady’s room door, and then he said, "Mom! I go in there," and he pointed at the door at the end of aisle thirty-eight.

She said, "No, hun. Come in here with me and Kathy, so we can keep an eye on you."

And she had his hand tight enough he had to go with her, and Kathy just walked around them into that room, and he was blushing fire red, and he was almost crying, and he said, "It’s a girl’s place."

"No one will mind you coming in, puppy. I want to be there if you need any help, and to make sure you are alright."

Benji knew he wasn’t going to need any help! He wasn’t even wearing overalls today, but the words ’make sure you are all right’ worked minor magic. Benji remembered what Vicky had said once, at the park, about getting kidnapped, and Benji was scared about that stuff a lot these days, but it didn’t help him lose his red color at all. His mom guided him right to the stall door and said, "I’ll be right here, honey."

One of the three ladies who were already in that room said, "Too big to come in here, huh?"

Another one laughed and said, "First sign; soon they don’t want to be with you anywhere."

Benji’s mom said, "Well, he isn’t at all like that, but he’s shy about a lot of things."

Kathy was already using the next stall, and she said, "See, Benji, it’s OK, ’cuz there’s doors anyways."

Benji said, "Just shut up, Kaffy."

His mom said, "Don’t act like that, Benj. Just do your business."

When he was done, he left the stall with his head down and his eyes on the floor, and his mom whispered, "Good job, baby," which was not what he wanted to hear.

The other three ladies had left at least, and the ones who had come in ignored him. He felt this was a good time to be ignored, if you couldn’t be invisible.

Then his mom directed him to the sink and, when he was half way through, she started helping him wash his hands, and Benji just took that treatment. Even Kathy got to wash her own hands.

His mom picked him up and carried him out of the bathroom and back to the shopping aisles; he could tell it was hard for her, but she could. And he didn’t like it at all, but he liked it a lot too; he was real mad at her, ashamed he’d gone into that taboo room, ashamed to be carried, but her arms still made it better.

Just before she set him down, she said, "Puppy, I just don’t want you going places alone. I just don’t. Don’t be mad." And she kissed his cheek, and he wasn’t mad anymore.

And he didn’t get mad, just sad, at the things that happened then.

When they found their cart, his mom said, "It’s still your ride, puppy, but we’re going to need all that cart space, so let’s put you in the seat."

"I won’t fit. Kathy doesn’t fit even."

"It will be a very tight squeeze, but let’s try, because you’re a bit littler than Kathy for now."

And that was the first time he’d noticed that the little girl next to him was over half a head taller than him, and that didn’t seem like a little bit at all. And he did just fit into that shopping cart’s baby seat too.

That might have been the second worst thing that happened, or the second worst might have been when a lady who saw him in that seat asked Kathy why her little brother looked so sad.

Kathy said, "Oh, he’s mad because mama made him go in the girl’s room."

The lady said, "Little boys always want to grow up so fast, don’t they? Well, you’ve got a cute little brother, even when he’s sad, and I bet you help to take care of him too, don’t you?"

"Mostly he only ’ill let mama take care of him, but I help sometimes."

"I bet you do, and you’re real cute too."

Kathy said, "Thank you."

Benji didn’t say anything at all.

He wanted a thumb. His mom handed him a lollipop just in time to stop the tears.

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The night of being babysat by Vicky wasn’t really that different from any other night. Except that his mom and daddy weren’t there, of course. And that they had pizza for dinner. And that they all played Chutes and Ladders, and Sorry rather than watch TV or play in their rooms.

But Benji had a hard time accepting the idea of it, even though Vicky kept reminding him that it was just pretend, and he kept telling himself that it was just pretend too. And she never told him to do anything, just reminded him of stuff he already knew.

Even bath time wasn’t all that different. Vicky came in and out of the room while he and Kathy were in the tub anyway and, luckily, it was Kathy’s turn to get shampooed, so he didn’t have to endure Vicky doing that to him! And she didn’t even remind him to wash while he was operating his submarine the way his mom would have.

But he noticed that, after the hair wash, Kathy let Vicky wash other parts too, and he said, "I didn’t think you liked Vicky to do that?"

"I gots over it. It’s nice having people rub your back and stuff, and Vicky got better at it. Is it time for the goose rag yet?"

Vicky said, "Not yet. And you two don’t say that around mom any more, OK?"

Kathy said, "Yeah, she doesn’t like that or even ’butt’, and especially not ’front fanny’ and ’wiener’."

"Well, mostly she’s afraid you’ll forget and say them in front of other grown-ups or, worse, teach them to kids who’ll say them to their parents."

Benji said, "What others doesn’t she like?"

Vicky said, "Ya’ kidding? I ain’t giving you two a list."

But Kathy ran off a bunch of them real fast (titties, pussy, dick, ass, nuts, pubes, ...), and Benji started giggling, and Vicky started laughing.

Then Vicky said, "OK, there. I wiped off your front fanny, Kath, so it’s time for the goose rag."

Kathy stood up and bent way over, mooning Benji, and Vicky quickly ran the dirty rag across the moon. Then, mainly for the chance to retaliate on Kathy and because it’d be funny, Benji said, "Do mine. Do mine," and Vicky did.

That was not the time of that night that Benji found humiliating though. The humiliating time of the night came after story time, which had been in Kathy’s room. After Vicky had pulled the covers up around Kathy and kissed her little sister and turned out her light, Vicky followed Benji into his room, turned on his nightlight and pulled down his covers. Benji turned off the big light himself and got into bed, but then Vicky sat down on it.

Benji said, "You don’t got ’a tuck me in. Babysitters don’t."

"Not always, but we’re playing big sister too, and big sister can do that." Then Vicky opened his bedside drawer and took out a pacifier and poked it at his mouth.

Benji said, "Mom put those there! I don’t use them!"

"Benji. You and hiding stuff. We know. Mom comes in and checks on you about a dozen-hundred times a night. She probably checks on me too, you know? And you know Daddy checks on you. And I always peek in here before I go to bed because you look so amazingly uber-sweet asleep. We’ve all already seen you with the passie. I think, you should go ahead and use it at home in the day time too. It really would help you not think about your thumb so dang much."

Benji grabbed the passie and hid it under his covers; now he’d reached the night’s big humiliation, and he said, "Just go away and leave me ’lone." Not only did he not want to talk about this anymore, he wanted to get the passie into his mouth too.

But Vicky didn’t leave. She smiled, started rubbing his tummy, said, "OK. Calm down, baby bro," and started singing "All Through the Night" in a soft, childish second soprano.

"Stop it, Vicky. Even Mom doesn’t do that."

Vicky sang to the end of the line before she said, "Mom doesn’t like her voice, but I’m in two choirs! She hums all the time though. Daddy has a good voice; he’ll start singing to you soon." Then she continued with the song and the tummy rub. After the chorus, she put a second passie up to Benji’s lips. Benji sighed and took it.

How was he going to live this down!? Ever!

But his week of trials wasn’t over yet.

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On a dark and stormy night, a very tearful boy stood in the bedroom doorway and said, "Mama, som’in’ happen’."

Benji’s mom sprang awake and said, "Oh, no! Poor little puppy, it’s OK."

His daddy was climbing out of bed too and said, "You take the boy, and I take the bed?"

His mom had already given Benji a hug, and she said, "Let’s swap jobs; he needs to know all the things Daddy’s can do."

"OK, big guy, come in here, and let’s get you fixed up."

Benji said, "I didn’ meam to."

In the big bathroom Benji’s daddy guided Benji’s arms through his t-shirt sleeves and pulled it over his head holding the shirt far from his body.

Benji said, "I din’ meem to."

His daddy pushed down Benji’s underpants, pulled his feet from them, kissed the top of his head and said, "I know that, puddin’head. You were asleep."

"I di’n’t wanna, daddy." Benji wished to express his intense desire that something like this had never happened, but was having a hard time putting that into words.

"It was an accident, pud’. We know that. Accidents happen."

"But why?"

"They just do. This kind probably happened because you can’t hold as much as you used to, and you sleep so soundly now that you couldn’t wake up in time."

He washed Benji off and then carried him to the bed before cleaning his face with a new washrag. "Feeling a bit better, big guy?"

Benji was, but he still felt too awful to say anything even if his mouth hadn’t been full of a very awful tasting thumb. When his daddy started petting his head, Benji climbed into his lap.

His mama came in carrying a lot of things and said, "Hello, sweetie, feeling better?" and he still didn’t answer. She said, "Here’s Higgins; all safe and sound. I’m afraid Growl and Henry are going to have to go the cleaning hospital though because they’re too hard to wash at home. Everyone else is fine."

Benji said, "I sorry, mama. I didn’ mean to."

She kissed him and said, "I know, honey. Even Growl and Henry understand, and they aren’t mad either. Alright? I brought you some warm milk to help you get back to sleep. Would you like to cuddle in here for the rest of the night?"

Benji took the sippy cup and nodded once he’d started on it. To her husband she said, "Even though it’s plastic, I’d rather let the mattress air."

His daddy said, "I guess we don’t really have a choice, but will it be alright, when he’s drinking some more already?"

"Most likely it’ll be OK; twice a night would be a lot, but we’ll play it safe." She went into her bath and got some talc, then she said, "Lie back on the bed, puppy dog."

Benji asked, "What’s that?" "

"It’s some powder to make sure you get good and dry down there so it doesn’t get all itchy-yeichy."

When his mama picked up some rectangular thing that he hadn’t seen before, he said, "What that?"

"Just some special night pants. They will make cleaning up easier if this happens again."

"But it won’t ’gain! Promise, promise."

"I know it won’t if you can help it, baby, but let’s be safe. OK? Lots and lots of boys and girls wear these. They really do. They even make them for grown-ups. And these will keep you and all your animals dry if it accidentally does happen. OK?"

He did have responsibilities to his animals, didn’t he? And the thing didn’t look very different from what he’d been wearing. He lay back again as his mama slipped the disposable pants up his legs, and she put his head in her lap and held his sippy cup for him as he finished it. His daddy petted his head and sang "Go Tell Aunt Rhody" slow and low, and his mama played the accompaniment with her lips.

When Benji’s eye lids were almost closed, his daddy said, "You were all prepared; wow."

His mama raised her hand to imply, ’wait a minute,’ and she slipped a passie into Benji’s mouth and waited for his breathing to slow, then she whispered, "Not really. These were on sale so I got some, but they’re too small for him. Last time he stopped doing this when he was still five. I thought we had about a week to go."

"So peaceful now. Remember how tense he looked when he was fifteen, even sleeping."

"I know, but he still has those anxieties, that’s were the thumb sucking comes from. But he has some joy back."

"He always was a great kid, too great for some of what he had to deal with or too gentle to deal with it."

"It’ll be better now. He’s having the troubles going backwards we expected, but managing. And we all, even Kathy, baby him mercilessly."

"Well, with the plug in his mouth and those absorbent pants on, it looks like we have our baby boy back already."

"Not quite, but he’s already a little doll."

"He’s not a doll. He’s a puddin’head."

"No. He’s a doll puppy."

"Puddin’head."

"Puppy."

"Puddin’head."

"Puppy."

 

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