Superman: The Other Crybaby of Metropolis

Chapter 1
The Other Crybaby of Metropolis

Chapter Description: Lois Lane's REAL revenge on Superman...

"If I take this youth potion, I’ll regain all the years I’ve wasted waiting on you, Superman!" Lois Lane removed the cork from the bottle the old alchemist had given her. "I’ll be young again, free to start a whole new life!" She lifted the bottle to her mouth.

"Lois! Wait!" Superman grabbed her arm, trying to restrain her. The bottle fell from her hand, smashing against Superman’s chest and drenching him in the youth potion.

"Oh no!" Superman blurred and began to shrink, growing smaller and younger before Lois’ amazed eyes. In a flash, he was a two year old boy looking up at her from within his now oversized costume.

"Lois!" Superman shouted, his voice now a toddler’s whine. "The youth potion! It’s turned me into a...a baby!"

"I can see that!" Lois smirked, bending down to look at him. "And it serves you right! All those times you tricked and embarrassed me! Well, it’s your turn now!"

"This isn’t funny, Lois!" Superman bundled his outsized costume around himself to protect his modesty. "Hurry up and give me the antidote! I have to patrol the city in a few minutes and I can’t go like this!"

"Oh, I don’t see why not." Lois grinned, the perfect scheme formulating in her head. "Granted, your wardrobe needs a little adjusting..."

"AND KEEP YOUR HANDS UP!" The masked criminal brandished his gun at the bank customers and tellers while his two partners, also masked, collected the money from the vault. "NOBODY MOVES OR I SHOOT!"

"Drop it, you crook!" A high-pitched voice peeped as a small pink blur flew into the bank. The three criminals turned and fired at the pudgy, dark-haired figure with the spit-curl. The bullets bounced off his bare chest.

"SU-SU-SUPERMAN???"

"That’s right! And you’d better surrender now!" He adjusted his diaper, his only garment. "I’m not in a very good mood!"

The crooks surrendered. They were laughing too hard to fight anyway.

Even the bank manager had a hard time not snickering as he watched baby Superman fly off, criminals in tow.

"This is humiliating!" a red-faced Superman thought to himself as he dropped the still howling crooks off at the police station and took off into the sky again, struggling to keep his diaper from slipping off. "But Lois promised she’d give me the antidote after I’m finished! I just hope there aren’t too many emergencies..."

"EMERGENCY!" Superman overheard a police scanner. "Luthor, Brainiac, The Toyman and Bizarro have all escaped! They’re now at large and terrorizing the city! All available units..."

"Oh, GREAT..."

Lois, meanwhile, watched contentedly through her binoculars. Actually, the youth potion would wear off by itself in a few hours. But there was no reason to tell HIM that.