Honeyed Memories

“Pretty great, huh?” Graham asked. “We can play here all day and not have to worry about anybody bothering us.”

“This is so cool!” Honeycomb cried, looking at Graham with a cheek-splitting grin on his face. “C’mon, let’s go!”

Graham smiled and plucked Honeycomb off of the sea, depositing the bear on his shoulder as he climbed out of the car and followed a path that took him deep into the woods. After a few minutes’ walk Graham stopped and looked over his shoulder. Can’t see the car anymore. This’ll work fine.

“This looks like a good spot.” Graham reasoned. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect!” Honeycomb declared as he leapt from Graham’s shoulder to the ground. “Let’s play Hide and Go Seek!”

“Okay!” Graham agreed, trying his best to match the bear’s enthusiasm. “You be it first. Close your eyes and count to a hundred!”

Honeycomb frowned. “Shouldn’t I make you little first?”

“What’s the matter?” He asked, his hands on his hips and a sly smile on his face. “Afraid to lose to a grown-up?”

The bear scoffed. “You’ll eat those words!”

With that he leaned against a tree and began to count as Graham looked on, his body stiff and tense. Go, his mind screamed. Now!

At three Graham spun and sprinted back the way he came, his heart pounding in his chest and the wind whistling in his ears as he raced through the forest. In his mind he kept track of where Honeycomb would be in his count, knowing that he only had until one hundred to get to his car. That aim alone propelled his muscles even as they burned with lactic acid and pushed his lungs beyond a capacity he thought possible. At the mental count of eighty-two Graham finally reached the road and his waiting car, struggling with the latch for a moment before yanking the door open and throwing himself inside. Graham turned the motor over, slammed it into drive, stomped on the gas and yanked the wheel to the left. The car’s tires squealed on the pavement as it fishtailed and performed a sloppy one-eighty, Graham fighting to straighten the vehicle out as he motored down the concrete.

His chest rose and fell with deep, gulping breaths as he leaned over the dashboard, his body aching and his skin clammy from drying sweat. A few seconds passed before he could work up the courage to glance in the rear view mirror, convinced that Honeycomb had caught wind of his escape and was in the process of chasing him down. But all that trailed him was the empty concrete the car cruised over. Despite that Graham spent half the trip back to campus checking his mirrors every few seconds, just knowing that the bear would pop up at any moment to punish him for his treachery.

But the appearance never came. Graham parked the car in front of his apartment, turned the key, and sat silent in the driver’s seat, staring off into space. After a moment his lips curled into a grin and he released a deep breath, finally letting out all the tension that had gathered in his chest. He’s gone. It’s over. Graham looked at the clock and realized that although he had missed his first class, if he hurried he could still make the second one on time. Time to be a grown-up again, Graham thought with a smile, ignoring the pang of regret he felt in his chest.

The rest of the day was blissfully normal for Graham. Even the most boring of courses couldn’t dampen his spirit, the sense of triumph he felt at regaining control of his life. Still, the thought of Honeycomb kept worming his way into his mind. For some reason he couldn’t accept that he would have fallen to such a simple ruse, that the bear was biding his time and waiting for the right moment to strike. Would you listen to yourself?, he thought, shaking his head and laughing in disbelief. Can’t even accept that you managed to outsmart a teddy bear. He’s gone. Take it easy.

It was early evening when his classes came to an end, shadows creeping over campus as the smoldering sun dipped onto the horizon. Though Graham had a full night’s work of homework to tackle he decided he had earned a few moments of relaxation. He chose a tree on the edge of the main lawn and leaned up against it, releasing a contented sigh as he sat back and allowed the stress of the day to just melt away. The campus teemed with life at this time of night as students of all varieties, needing just a brief respite from their responsibilities, took time to meet with friends or just relax in peace under a shady oak tree. As a cool breeze rustled through his hair Graham felt himself drifting away but allowed the sleep to come. A nap’s just what I need right now, he thought as he closed his eyes.

“Rough day?”

Graham’s eyes flew open but he kept them focused straight ahead, not yet allowing them to look in the direction that the voice had come from. It can’t be. When he finally allowed his gaze to drop what he saw was Honeycomb, standing on the grass in front of him, his arms crossed and a blank expression on his face. He clawed back at the ground and pushed himself up against the tree, trying to shout words that just wouldn’t come.

“H-how did you...” he managed.

“If I want to be next to you, I’m next to you.” Honeycomb said. “It’s that simple.”

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

“Honeycomb, I’m so sorry.” Graham babbled, the words now pouring from his mouth. “I got lost in the woods, see, and I couldn’t find you, so I figured I’d drive back here and get some people to help look - ”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” the bear interrupted, his tone calm and even. Graham grimaced. There’s no right answer to that question. Keep your mouth shut.

“You act as though I didn’t hear the things you’ve been saying while we’ve been together.” Honeycomb continued, his voice rising. “Don’t you think I noticed that you were trying to get rid of me? That you were throwing the gift I was offering you back in my face?”

“What gift?” Graham asked.

“Youth. Childhood.” The bear opened his hands. “I thought the more time we spent together, the sooner you’d realize the incredible opportunity I was offering you, the sooner I thought you’d accept the chance to be a kid again.

“But no. You want...this.” Honeycomb spat out the last word as he looked around in disgust at their surroundings. “You want to be a boring, joyless adult. You’d rather be responsible than happy.”

“Honeycomb - ”

“I could have left that forest anytime I wanted.” The bear continued. “But after I realized what you had done I took some time to think about what I should do. And you know what I came up with?”

I’m dead. I’m going to be killed in the middle of campus by a deranged teddy bear.

“I’m going to leave you alone, G.C.”

Wait, what?

“If you don’t want what I’m offering, then I’m not going to force it on you.” Honeycomb shrugged. Graham raised an eyebrow. There’s no way this is working out this well.

“Besides...” he grinned. “I’m sure there are plenty of people who’d love a second chance at childhood. I’d even bet that a lot of the people right here on this lawn feel that way.”

Oh no. “Honeycomb, no - ”

“It’d take way too long to go one by one, though.” The bear reasoned as he rolled his neck and stretched his arms. “So I think I’ll just ask everybody at once.”

“Don’t! Please!”

It was no use. The bear curled into his now-familiar stance of concentration, looking as though his focus was deeper and truer than ever before. In a panic Graham leapt to his feet and scoured the lawn, looking for signs of Honeycomb’s handiwork.

“What the fuck?!”

Graham span to see a barrel-chested frat brother receding into his monogrammed sweatshirt and chino pants, overcome with fear and confusion as his bulk deflated, reduced in a matter of seconds from a strong, confident young man to a weak, scared little boy. A quick scan of the area revealed that the scene was repeating itself in countless instances across the lawn. Dozens of students and a handful of professors shouted and cried out in terror, the world becoming a huge and intimidating place within the blink of an eye. Their cries filled the air, growing louder and more terrible until Graham couldn’t even hear himself think.

The process ended after just a few moments but that did nothing to lessen the prevailing hysteria that had taken hold. Everywhere he looked boys and girls ranging from toddlers to pre-teens gave in to the panic, their minds overloaded by what had happened to them. Many ran - some naked, some clutching onto their clothing as though it were spun of gold - as though escaping from the nightmare was a matter as simple as outrunning it. Others either stood or sat still as they bawled their little eyes out, at that moment indistinguishable from real children. Still others seemed to take leave of their faculties altogether, seemingly overwhelmed by shock. Several cradled their knees and rocked back and forth. A handful clutched at a shirt or pair of jeans, sucking their thumbs with an absent look in their eyes.

“Oh God.” Graham moaned, clutching at his hair. “Oh my God.”

“Hm.” Honeycomb mused, resting his chin on his paw. “They don’t look very happy. Oh well, I’m sure they’ll calm down after a while and then we can all have fun together.”

He looked back at Graham, who had turned white as a sheet and whose trembling knees threatened to give out at any moment.

“What’s the matter, G.C.? Aren’t you happy to see all the little playmates I made for myself?” Honeycomb asked, before grinning as though struck by a realization. “Oh, I get it. You’re upset because you don’t have anybody your age to play with anymore. Well, I can fix that.”

Graham looked down at the bear and gave a slow shake of his head.

“No.” He swallowed. “Please.”

“Consider this my parting gift.” The bear bowed his head. “You’re welcome.”

Graham moved towards the bear in a desperate attempt to stop the process but before he could even reach a hand out he was struck with the sensation, the warmth so deep and powerful that he felt as though he were sweating inside his skin. He was pulled down so hard and so fast that he was struck momentarily dizzy, his mind reeling from the speed in which the world grew around him. Before the transformation even ended Graham already knew that he was smaller than ever, receiving confirmation of that fact when his shoulders became too narrow to even hold up his shirt. It slithered down to the ground as the sensation left his body, leaving him naked before his grinning teddy bear.

Graham made no effort to cover himself up - he found himself compelled to look at what he had become, as though accepting it would atone for what he had done. Every feature that had fascinated him during this morning’s bath had only been accentuated. Pudgy arms ended in dinky powerless hands complete with tiny pink fingers. His flabby chest gave way to a puffy potbelly, round and fat enough to nearly hide his miniscule boyhood from sight. The chubby little legs that held him up threatened to give out any moment, barely strong enough to support his insignificant weight.

He was a baby. A toddler, at best.

Honeycomb snickered. “Doesn’t this bring back memories? This is exactly what you looked like the day we first met.”

Graham held his hands up to his face. Two years old. He felt the hot sting of tears in the corner of his eyes.

“I’ll give you one last chance, G.C.” Honeycomb offered, his tone disturbingly gentle. “Let me wipe the last sixteen years from your mind. It’ll be like you were never eighteen. Doesn’t that sound nice? There won’t be any of these dumb grown-up thoughts or responsibilities floating around in your mind to keep us apart.

“Let me do it, G.C.” The bear smiled. “Be my best friend again.”

Graham tried to hold it back, but there was no use. Sniffles turned to sobs, which turned to full out wailing as he fell onto his bottom and let go of his fear and anxiety in the way befitting his current age. Honeycomb, seemingly taken back by the reaction, furrowed his brow and took a step towards Graham, his expression one of confusion and concern.

“G.C...?” Honeycomb asked. “What’s the matter?”

The boy struggled to calm himself down, fighting against not only the hopelessness of the situation but also the growing strength of the toddler emotions that drove his bawling.

“Pwease stop it, Honeycomb.” Graham managed, his words separated by little gasping sobs. “I’m sowwy. I’m sowwy. Pwease, stop.”

Honeycomb frowned. “G.C...why - ”

Before he could get another word out Graham reached out and wrapped his arms around the bear, burying his face in Honeycomb’s warm, soft shoulder as the tears came once more. The bear didn’t move. He just looked down, allowing the boy to cry to his heart’s content. The panic that surrounded them suddenly seemed small and inconsequential, meaningless in comparison to the outpouring of emotion. Several moments passed before Honeycomb took Graham by the shoulders and gently pushed him away. Graham sniffled and rubbed his eyes.

“You really don’t want this, do you?” the bear asked.

Graham shook his head with one last little sob. The bear smiled sadly and nodded. He took a step back and lowered his head once more. The familiar gust came a second later, lifting Graham out of toddlerhood with the force of a typhoon. As he grew Graham looked around to see the children scattered amongst the field returning to their proper forms, the feelings of terror and panic gradually giving way to confusion at what had happened and the embarrassment that came with unexplained nudity. Before the process had even finished Graham began throwing his clothes on, hoping to escape the fray in the confusion before anyone could catch sight of Honeycomb. Once dressed, he looked down at the bear, who was standing stock still, his arms slack and his head hung low. Graham hesitated for an instant before snatching him off the ground and taking off, sprinting away from the lawn as fast as his legs would carry him.

It was several minutes before Graham felt that he was far enough away to take a break, doubling over in the middle of the street as he gasped in as much air as his lungs would hold. He looked down at Honeycomb. He had been cradling him in his arms during the run but he hadn’t said a single word, lying silent and staring straight ahead like any other teddy bear would. Graham regarded him carefully, trying in vain to sort through the emotions he felt at that moment for the little bear. Once he caught his breath Graham looked up and saw that his steps had taken him towards the park. After a moment’s consideration he continued on that path, moving towards the playground as twilight began to fall all around him.

When he reached the seesaws Graham sat down, setting Honeycomb down gently on the parallel plank as he did so. The bear let his legs splay out beneath him as he stared off into space. On the other side of the playground a small boy explored the center tower under his father’s watchful eye, shouting and laughing as he jumped and ran through the timber confines. Graham looked over his shoulder and watched him for a few seconds before leaning forward and clasping his hands together.

“You know...” he began, considering his words. “I remember the exact day I stopped playing with you, Honeycomb.”

The bear looked up. Graham met his eyes.

“It was the first day of first grade.” He said. “Up until that point we had been inseparable, and there was no way I wasn’t going to bring you to class with me. But as soon as I entered the classroom, Reggie Wilcox from down the street grabbed you out of my hands and held you high in the air, announcing to everyone that I had brought a ?baby toy’ into school.”

“I remember.” Honeycomb breathed.

“The entire class laughed at me.” Graham smiled. “And I remember being so heartbroken because nobody had ever before made fun of me for having you. I didn’t understand why they were laughing - until I came home, and my mom told me that I was getting a little too old to carry you around everywhere.

“At that instant...” Graham sighed. “I realized that if I was ever going to be a big boy I would have to let you go. It was a decision I struggled with all night. And after I buried you at the bottom of that chest I didn’t stop crying until I fell asleep.”

Honeycomb lowered his head and frowned.

“I loved you, Honeycomb.” Graham said. “I really did. And nothing’s going to change that. But it’s time for you to let me go. Give some other kid the friendship that made my childhood so wonderful. Thanks to you, I’ll be just fine.”

Honeycomb looked up at him for a long moment before smiling and nodding his head.

“...okay. Okay.” He said. The bear extended his paw towards Graham, who shook it graciously. “I’m sorry for what I did, G.C.”

“Don’t be.” Graham shook his head. “I was being an idiot.”

“That’s true.” Honeycomb snickered. He fell silent and looked up to meet Graham’s eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me when I let you go.”

Graham gave him a small smile. “There’s only one way to find out.”

He opened his palm. Honeycomb grinned and hopped onto it, allowing Graham to pick him up and hold him against his chest. Graham smiled and ruffled the bear’s ears as he walked over to the man standing on the other side of the park who was watching his son play. As he approached the man took notice of him and offered Graham a nod and a smile.

“Evenin’.” He said, his smile widening when he took notice of Honeycomb. “That’s a really nice teddy bear you’ve got there. They don’t make ?em like that anymore.”

Graham smiled. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.”

“Most college kids would be embarrassed to carry something like that around with them.”

“I could never be embarrassed of Honeycomb.” Graham said. “Though I guess I am getting a little too old to be carrying him around everywhere. Do you think your son would like him?”

“Are you kidding? Billy would love to have a bear like that.”

“Well, it’s his if he wants it.”

“Seriously?” The man asked. Graham nodded. The man smiled and turned towards the playground.

“Hey, Billy!” He called out. The boy’s ears perked up. “Come here for a second.”

The boy did as he was asked, jumping down from the tower and half-running half-skipping to his father. It wasn’t until he arrived that he seemed to first take notice of Graham, as he suddenly became very shy and hid behind his father’s leg, clutching tightly to the man’s pants.

“Don’t be shy, Billy.” The man said. “This young man...I’m sorry, what was your name?”

“Graham.” He said, offering the boy a smile. The boy retreated further behind his father.

“Graham here has a present for you.”

The boy stayed put. But when Graham took a knee and presented Honeycomb, his eyes lit up and he took a tentative step forward.

“His name’s Honeycomb.” Graham said. “Would you like to take him home with you?”

The boy looked up at his father, who gave his son an approving nod. The boy looked back at Graham, smiled shyly and nodded his head. Graham exhaled, turned Honeycomb towards him and pulled the bear into a warm hug.

“’Bye, Honeycomb.” He said.

“’Bye...Graham.” Honeycomb whispered. With that, Graham handed the bear over to the boy, who gently took it from his hands and regarded it the way a curator would a great work of art.

“Well, I guess it’s official.” The man chuckled and ruffled his son’s hair. “What do you say, Billy?”

“Thank you!” The boy piped, offering Graham a toothy grin.

“You’re welcome.” Graham laughed as he stood up. The man shook his hand and slapped him on the shoulder.

“Thanks, pal.” He said. “Have a good night.”

“You do the same.”

“C’mon, buddy, it’s getting dark out.” The man told his son. “It’s time to go home.”

With that, the man led his son out of the park, the boy smiling from ear-to-ear and holding Honeycomb tight as they walked. The bear was propped over the boy’s shoulder, and as he was carried away, he looked up at Graham to give him a smile and a wave. Graham beamed and returned the wave, his hand stopping in mid-air when he saw Honeycomb’s arm and head slowly go limp, falling onto the boy’s shoulder as though the spirit were escaping his body.

He watched them go until they disappeared from sight, not moving from that spot for a long time. As night fell Graham laid himself out on a seesaw, locked his hands behind his head, and stared up into the darkening sky, smiling as tiny glimmering stars appeared to dot the infinite inky blackness.