With Friends Like These

Chapter 8
EIGHT

Ben thought a lot about what the woman had said to him, about his secret jealousy. He hated her, but deep down he knew it was true. And it seemed he had no choice anyway. He could run away, but how far would he get? And what kind of life would that be anyway?

So that evening, after they tucked Greg into bed, read him his normal bed-time story and kissed him nighty-nights, Ben decided to do what had to be done.

“Hannah, can we talk?” he said to her as they walked back to the living room.

“Sure honey, what is it?” she inquired, not used to him sounding so serious, perhaps sensing his nervousness.

Ben was actually shaking he was so worried about this. “Honey, I have to admit something to you,” he began.

Hannah looked very worried, but also ready to comfort him. “Go ahead Ben,” she urged, taking his hand.

“Hannah, I’ve… I… I’m feeling these strange feelings. I’ve been feeling, well, jealous I guess…”

“Jealous?” she asked, looking confused.

He nodded. “I guess, for a long time now, I’ve been feeling so jealous of Greg,” he whispered, feeling so odd partly admitting to something that was true but also knowing he was doing it only because he had to.

Hannah looked surprised at first, just as he expected, but not as shocked as she might have been. And after a moment she began to nod. “I understand Ben, I do,” she said.

He blinked, surprised by this reaction. He’d expected to have to do a lot more explaining. “You do?” he asked instead.

She nodded. “I talked with Pam a lot the other night. She told me about Tommy’s feelings and I could see a lot of the things she said about him really applied to you too. I didn’t want to push it with you, but I understand completely Ben.”

Now this really wasn’t what he was expecting at all. He’d been half hoping she’d call him a freak and storm out. Instead she seemed almost pleased he didn’t want to be her boyfriend anymore, happy to have him as a little boy instead.

“So now that you know, um, what do you think we should do about it?” he asked tentatively.

Hannah chuckled. “Well I think that’s pretty obvious Ben. We need to schedule a dentist appointment for you.”

Ben frowned. Even though he’d gone into this conversation thinking he’d accepted the inevitable, to actually be discussing it was still painful.

“I… I don’t want to be a burden on you though,” he argued. “I don’t want you to have to care for two boys like Greg. It would be very tough without me here to help out with him, never mind adding a second boy.”

“A second rambunctious little tot you mean.” Hannah said it with a smile though. “I’d actually enjoy having two little ones actually. I think it would be great for Greg to have a playmate too.”

“So… you’re really okay with this?” he asked a final time.

Hannah pulled him into a tight hug. “This is what you need and it’s what I want to give you. If I’m honest I felt like we were starting to pull apart, but this changes everything. Now you’ll be my little guy too. Now we’ll be closer than ever.”

**

Getting the appointment set had been faster than Ben could have imagined. They had an opening just two days later. It was two days Ben spent wondering what it would be like, two days spent observing Greg’s every behaviour. He watched his buddy nibble on his own toes, make a mess of himself eating with his fingers, splash water all over the bathroom at bath time, jumping on his bed like a mad-man until Hannah told him off. That was the future that awaited him.

And now he was right back where it all began, sitting in the dentist’s office in the waiting room. This time he was the one waiting for the appointment, but he knew exactly what was coming. A thirtyish man was playing in the children’s corner, sitting on his bottom with legs splayed apart, banging a toy train into a stuffed rabbit he’d apparently brought with him, talking to the toys in soft juvenile tones. He was shirtless, his pudgy belly poking out above the short black athletic shorts he wore. He was barefoot of course and his soles were dark brown with dirt, toes wiggling idly as he played.

Soon Ben would be no better than this fellow, soon he’d be the giggling, idiotically grinning man’s equal. Would his feet look like that? Would Hannah bring him back here barefoot and shirtless for his refresher in six months? Would he be the one sitting there showing off his tough bare soles and sucking his thumb while unsuspecting new victims looked upon him with pity or disdain?

“I wanna pway daddy!” Greg insisted, tugging at Ben’s arm and pointing to the man on the floor.

“Okay Greg, you can play,” he agreed, letting the man eagerly join the other mentally regressed fellow. Greg was wearing his favourite Spiderman outfit, top and pants, though still in bare feet of course. He’d been wearing the outfit the last couple days straight, refusing anything else, other than his birthday suit of course.

“He’s adorable in that suit isn’t he?” Hannah noted as Greg dropped to his knees on the carpet.

“Yeah, it’s cute,” Ben agreed. “You haven’t got anything like that planned for me have you?” he asked, a bit nervous.

Hannah smiled and shrugged. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

The door to the offices opened and a 40-ish woman emerged holding the hand of a slightly younger man who, like the fellow playing with the bunny, was wearing no shirt or shoes, just a simple pair of baggy bright yellow and red board shorts.

“Isn’t this nice sweetie, isn’t this so much better than those silly suits?” the woman was saying to the half-naked man.

The man just grinned happily about the room and nibbled his thumb wordlessly.

“Why don’t you go join brother,” the woman urged and then fellow giggled and half ran, half toddled across to the play area and dropped heavily to his knees. His feet weren’t dirty like the other man’s or Greg’s. He wasn’t tanned like the fellow with the bunny. He was pale, he was brand new. And he was also totally untroubled by his new attire and eager as could be to join the others in play.

A nurse emerged behind them. “Ben?” she asked, looking right at them.

He nodded shakily and managed to stand without his legs buckling, a real accomplishment.

“I’ll see you soon honey,” Hannah cooed, standing and giving him a kiss. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too dear,” he whispered back, then turned and followed the nurse into the back.

“So you’re in for a cleaning today,” the nurse said, as if this was all normal.

“Yeah, a cleaning,” he muttered, legs shivering with each step.

They entered the room, Ben ignoring all attempts at small talk from the hygienist. The doctor was waiting, sitting on a stool. He gave Ben a warm smile and even shook his hand. “Have a seat Ben,” he urged.

Ben was thankful not to need to stay upright any longer, his legs couldn’t take it. He lowered himself on the chair, looking up at the light hanging overhead. Nothing looked particularly out of place here, nothing was suspicious. It was a normal looking dentist’s office.

“Right, how long since you last had a cleaning?” the doctor asked, as though he was really here to clean Ben’s teeth.

“A year I guess,” Ben replied, keeping up his end of the charade.

“Lovely,” the doctor replied, rolling in closer as the hygienist fiddled with some knobs. “We’re just going to give you a little bit of gas to help you relax. You seem very tense and that just won’t do at all.”

Ben gave a single head jerk as a nod and the hygienist lifted a small clear rubber mask over just his nose. This was it, the last moments of full adulthood and lucidity. He could still run away right now. He could knock them aside, call them out on their fraud and post the whole story on the internet for all to know. He could still do that now. In a few minutes he wouldn’t know the letters on the keyboard or how to even turn on the computer.

It was his last chance to resist. And of course now he saw that there was always an option to go public, to cut a deal for leniency and roll on all these people. But in a moment it would be too late. He wouldn’t have the vocabulary to explain what they were doing to anyone, nor the comprehension to understand it himself.

“Now take nice deep breaths for me,” the doctor crooned. And he smelled a strong, sweet scent. He was too close to knowing to back out now. Resistance was an option, but not for him. Hannah was right, Rachel was right. He needed to know what it felt like. He did as the doctor asked, taking big deep breaths through his nose.

His arms and legs grew incredibly heavy almost instantly. A tingly, fuzzy feeling filled his whole body and there was a blurriness around the edges of his vision.

“There we go, that’s a good boy,” the doctor assured him. “That’ll do nicely. Now it’s time for an eye exam. I just want you to look right up here for me,” he said, taking the light and moving it closer.

Ben felt incredibly relaxed now. His jitters were totally gone and he felt peaceful and sleepy now. His heart-rate had come down too. But he was still him, he still knew what was happening here. It just didn’t feel as terrifying anymore. Now he just felt curious. What did the light do?

“Just look right at the light,” the doctor repeated, flipping a switch on the side.

The light wasn’t a light. It was suddenly a swirling screen of bright colours dancing across it. Ben stared into the swirling screen, continuing to breathe the sweet gas. The world beyond the screen quickly and easily dissolved into nothingness and then there was only the colours. He knew he was being hypnotised. It was incredible to experience it at last, to feel it envelop him.

Then he was aware of something other than the colours. It was a hand on his arm. It was warm and comforting. How did he know that? He just did. And then the voice came, and it was wonderful. Every word made his mind feel a wash of endorphins.

“You’ve done so well Ben. You’re very deep now, very deeply hypnotised,” said the voice, the lovely voice.

“Mmmhmm,” Ben murmured.

“Now the truth is you aren’t here for a dental cleaning Ben. You’re here to have your mind cleaned, so you can be a happy, sweet little boy just like your brother Greg.”

Ben murmured happily again. That sounded lovely.

“Yes, it’s going to be so wonderful. And the first thing we need to do is free you from those shoes, free your feeties, your lovely little toesies,” the voice cooed.

Ben felt his shoes being loosened and removed, then his socks peeled away. It felt nice, it felt freeing.

“Little boys don’t need shoes and socks,” the voice explained. “They don’t need them and they don’t like them. Little boys aren’t expected to dress like big grown-ups yet, they have the freedom to be comfy and bare feet are so, so comfy.”

It made such perfect sense. It was the truest statement Ben had ever heard in his life. And just accepting that, accepting the truth, gave him the most powerful sense of pleasure yet.

“And now that your feet are nice and free, like a little boy’s should be, it’s time to give you a special power, like a superhero! Isn’t that cool?!”

Ben had to agree, it sounded very cool. He found himself nodding.

“Yes, and your power is that you can control this whole process. You can control it with your nice free feeties, your tootsies. Only you can make changes to your mind. You can make them by wiggling your toes. Nothing can happen until you decide to wiggle those toes. You’re totally in control of this process.”

That felt so good to know. Ben at once felt safe and secure. He hadn’t even noticed the bits of concern he’d been holding tightly onto until then. But now they were gone he noticed the difference. It felt so nice to let go.

“That’s right, you’re in control and you know this is going to feel so nice, so much fun. Little boys have lots of fun after all. Little boys don’t have to work or worry about stuff. They just play and have fun all day. Mummy and Daddy worry about things, not the little boy.”

That was so right, it was so much better to be a little boy, Ben was certain of it.

“Little boys can get as dirty as they want. They can be muddy and mucky and no one minds. In fact people like it. They smile and laugh and take photos of mucky little boys. Little boys don’t even have to wear clothes, not even undies! No one minds a nakey little boy. Their pee-pees aren’t private or shameful, they’re adorable.”

Ben knew every word of it was true. Little boys had such lovely freedom.

“And not only that, little boys like getting all dirty, they like getting all nakey and running around with a jiggling weenie. Wouldn’t that be nice, to have no modesty, no shame at all, to not even have to think about that stuff?”

Ben was nodding again. It would be nice.

“Well guess what? You can be just like that too. If you want to feel that way, have that freedom, all you have to do is use your imagination, and it’s a powerful, great, amazing imagination you have. Just use it to picture all your modesty floating down to your toes, your bare toes, all free and little. See them floating down there to where your magic toes with special powers are. And now all you have to do is wiggle them and that modesty will float away, disappear forever and you’ll find that just like a little boy you’re carefree, you want to get dirty, you want to run around barefoot and get filthy soles, you love to be all nakey and free. Just wiggle those magic toes and let it all go.”

Ben knew that’s exactly what he wanted and he was so glad he had the control over it. He got to make the decision about whether to keep his modesty, his adult control, or let it go, forget about privacy and body shame and be a happy innocent nudist. Of course that’s exactly what he wanted! The voice made it all so clear. So he began to wiggle his toes back and forth.

It was amazing, his super power worked, he could actually feel something leaving him, new feelings coming over him. It was real! It worked!

“Very good Ben,” the voice praised. “Now, we’re not finished yet. We need to actually clean that mind of yours, to really let you be the happy little boy you know you want to be.”

Yes, they needed to do that. His mind had to be clean for him to be happy like Greg.

“So we need to empty out your memories of being big Ben. We need to let Ben go, so Benny can come out to play. Can you picture your memories, picture them like a big cloud, and push them down into your magic toes.”

Yes, he could do that. He pictured the cloud, saw it floating down into his toes. Without his memories he wouldn’t be Ben anymore. But that didn’t matter, the voice assured him. He’d be Benny, he’d be little, and that would be so, so much better. He wiggled his toes. And there was an incredible, overpowering sense of release. It was like a massive weight was lifted from his head and it gave him a truly blissful sensation.

When the sensation passed he felt empty, he felt blank. The confusion could have been scary, could have been terrifying, but it wasn’t. He felt calm, he felt safe and peaceful. And the voice was back, a voice he didn’t really recall, yet he knew he’d heard it before and it was friendly and it was good and it was always right. The voice reminded him of things, filled in the blanks, told him about his Mummy, his brother. It told him about the toys he enjoyed, the shows he liked to watch.

It wasn’t long before the voice was joined by another, softer voice. It was the voice of Mummy. And the colours swirling around him, which were all he was aware of, slowly faded away so he could see his Mummy, see how beautiful she was. And she didn’t even mind that he’d had an accident. Of course she didn’t because that was normal, natural. Everything he did was normal for a little boy like him. That’s what the voice had told him, that was absolutely true.

Finally there was one last step he needed to take. “It’s time to take that last step to make you a good little boy for your Mummy,” the doctor said. Ben could see him speak now, could see he was the source of the voice. “You need to let go of your adult thinking powers, your reasoning and problem solving skills, all your abilities to read and write and ride a bike and such. You need to make them disappear forever, let them float down to your toes and wiggle them away once and for all.”

Mummy was nodding and squeezing his hand so reassuringly and the doctor was always right, he knew that. He understood that he was becoming a little boy. His memory of what he was before was totally missing, but he vaguely understood he’d been ‘big’ like Mummy or the doctor man and now he wouldn’t be. But that was okay, that was what he wanted, he could feel it. He needed to take the last step, the most important. Mummy and the doctor were watching his feet. He watched them too. He watched as he wiggled his toes.

The long adult toes wiggled back and forth and he felt the sensation from earlier again. The magic toes did their work and a huge weight was lifting away. It was easing out of his head to leave a big, empty blank space. It felt lovely though, it felt great. And in the middle of that pleasure Benny’s chain of thought unravelled with startling speed. He was considering the process, wondering about what would happen next, how it would feel… and then he wasn’t. Then he was Benny. He was a little boy. Mummy was here watching him. He had wiggly toes. He’d done pee-pee tinkles in his pants and they were all wet and squishy now.

Mummy changed his wet pants. He got to wear big boy pants with pictures of Thomas the train on them. Thomas was cool. Trains were cool. They were for big boys. And even though he was a little boy he really liked them. They had wheels and they went round and round and reminded him of a song they sang in kindy. He didn’t know the words, he wasn’t big enough to know the words yet. But he would soon, when he got bigger.

Mummy put him in shorts too. They were bright. He didn’t know the colour. He asked Mummy and she said they were ‘green.’ Benny didn’t know what ‘green’ was. Colours were for big boys too. He liked the shorts though. They had swishy material that was comfy on his legs.

The doctor man gave Mummy a shirt but she didn’t take it. “It’s a warm day, I don’t think he really needs it,” she said. Benny was confused. Grown-ups talked too fast. He knew some of the words, but putting them together was confusing. Mummy lifted his arms up. She said, “Like Superman!” and Benny giggled because of the happy tone she used, but he didn’t understand what that word meant. Mummy yanked his shirt off then and threw it away. He didn’t mind. It felt nice having no shirt on. Mummy took his hand and said, “Ready to go Benny?”

Benny felt confused for a moment. “No shiwt?” he asked.

Mummy shook her head. “No sweetie. You’re a little boy now. You don’t really need a shirt any more than you need shoes.”

Benny looked down at the floor, at his bare feet. He hadn’t even noticed he was barefoot before. It didn’t even occur to him. Of course he was barefoot. Of course he felt the floor under his feeties and soon would feel the warm pavement, the tickly soft grass and dirt. That was how he always was. That’s what little boys did. Shoes were for bigger boys and Mummy said shirts were too. Mummy was very smart so she must be right.

“Otay,” he chirped, using words like a big boy, smiling because he felt so smart.

Mummy was pleased with him too and smiled back. He felt even better then. Mummy led him by the hand, it made him feel safe. They went down a hallway and out into a big, bright room. There were grown-ups sitting along the wall. They sat in chairs. Chairs weren’t for little boys. Little boys sit on the floor, or in Mummy’s lap. Still the people were looking at him and he liked the attention. He gave them a wave. One woman smiled and waved back.

“Mummy has to pay sweetie. Why don’t you play with your brother,” Mummy suggested.

Benny saw Greg playing on the floor. There was toys! Benny didn’t need to be told twice. He hurried over and dropped to a squat by the toys. There were so many! They were bright and shiny and there was lots to do with them. Benny had a lot of fun for the next couple minutes. Greg seemed delighted to have him join him too.

“You got widdle!” he chirped.

Benny didn’t understand what his brother was talking about, he just kept playing by himself. He didn’t want to play pretend, there were toys here.

Mummy didn’t take that long and then they got to leave. Benny was upset to leave the toys but Mummy promised sweeties for treats if he was good.

“Will you be a good boy?” she questioned.

Benny nodded right away, he wanted sweeties! “Yeff Mummy. Benny good boy!” he assured her.

She seemed pleased and he held her hand real tight as they walked through the car park. The ground was very hot and a bit ouchy on his feeties. Greg didn’t seem to notice though and Mummy was a grown-up so she got shoes to wear. Benny wondered how big he’d have to be before he got shoes like Mummy.

Mummy strapped him into the backseat next to his brother. For some reason Greg found this very funny and kept saying, “Daddy sittin’ in da back!”

“We don’t call him Daddy anymore, remember honey? He’s Benny now, little Benny your brother.”

“Benny! You Benny!” the young man in the Spiderman outfit giggled and announced, pointing at him.

Benny was confused and didn’t like the tone his brother used for his name. He was glad when Mummy told him off for being mean.

They went to the supermarket on the way home. Benny felt excited because he liked the big store. It looked like a place for a big adventure, like in the books Mummy read to him at night. The store name was announced in big letters but as they got out of the car Benny saw only meaningless symbols. The pavement was hot here too, very ouchy. Benny wanted to walk faster than Mummy would allow. She scolded him and told him how dangerous the car park was.

“Bu’ feeties ouchy Mummy!” he complained.

She looked sympathetic and said, “I’m sorry I can’t carry you baby, but don’t worry, your feeties will soon be tough, just like Greg. See, his feeties are okay and yours will be too.”

Greg did look comfy in his bare feet on the paved car park, so Benny hoped Mummy was right and he’d feel okay too. They walked into the store did their shopping. Benny noticed now and then that people were looking at him. He liked their attention though and made some silly faces at them now and then. The floor in the store was nice and cool on his feeties so he liked the store too.

Finally they got home and Mummy started putting the groceries away. Benny wanted to help but Mummy said he kept dropping things and putting stuff in the wrong places. When he put the milk in the sink she said that was it and he needed to play in the other room. Greg was already there, climbing on the couch. He had his Spiderman pants off and his undies were lying on the floor too. Benny watched his brother’s pee-pee waggle about as he hopped in the couch. That looked comfy. He wanted his pee-pee to jiggle too. That’s what little boys did. He managed to hook his fingers into his elastic waist and yanked down the shorts and undies at once. He tripped trying to step out of them but the carpet was soft and he was soon free, standing back up, his pee-pee out like his brother’s. It felt just lovely, so free and happy. He hurried over to climb up the couch after his brother.

 

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