Soft and Fuzzy

Chapter 1
Whole Story

I’m re-posting this story as I’m writing a sequel to it right now, currently at 22,000 words. Though the sequel has a quite different, much darker tone I hope people who enjoyed this story will like it too.

**

For too long I’d put off having a normal relationship. My work and my other interests had made it so difficult. It was just too easy to put it off and say, that’s something for when I’m a bit older. But then I’d met Elly. It was a chance meeting, one that didn’t actually start in an auspicious way for a relationship. I bumped into her and spilled my hot coffee on her shirt at a Mugg & Bean. Despite that bumpy start we hit it off almost immediately and for the first time in years I had a real relationship on my hands.

I’d been dating Elly for a month when she told me she’d been hiding a pretty big secret from me. Of course my first thought was, shit, I knew this was too good to be true. I mean Elly seemed like a perfect catch. She was young, successful, funny and beautiful. How was it possible that at age twenty-eight she was still completely single? Did she have an STD? Was she in witness protection or something?

“I have a husband, Eric,” she told me.

My face fell. Damn it! I knew it was something big, but this was worse than I thought. What did she want from me? Did she think I’d want to have a damn affair with her, leading nowhere?

“Jesus!” I gasped, shaking my head.

“No Eric, it isn’t that simple,” she interjected, putting a hand on my chest to keep me sitting.

“Not that simple? You think I can just overlook the fact you’re married?” I demanded.

“Eric you have to understand, there was an incident with my husband, he was left a different man. Well, really he was left not a man at all.”

My eyes widened, picturing the poor guy castrated in some construction accident. She saw my look of horror and understood what I was thinking. She shook her head. “Oh, no, not like that. I mean he’s not a man anymore, he’s a boy.”

“A boy?”

She nodded. “His body is fine, it’s his mind that’s changed.”

And now I understood. Her husband was brain damaged, probably lying in some nursing home little more than a vegetable, drooling on himself, staring at the ceiling. Poor bastard.

“Is he in a home?” I asked.

“No, I care for him now. I still love him very much, but it’s a different kind of love now. He’s my little one now. He’s such a sweet little guy you see. He’s funny and so cheerful and loving.”

Hearing her talk of her husband this way felt odd. She spoke as though he were a real kid, her little boy. “How bad is it?” I felt compelled to ask.

“He’s got the mentality of a three-year old. His memory of his life before is very patchy and I’m not sure how much he understands of those memories. He believes he is a three-year old boy, bigger than other his age, but three nonetheless. He knows he used to be bigger but he doesn’t understand that it would be unusual for someone to be an adult one day then get littler and be a boy.”

There was a part of me, a dark and hidden corner of my mind that found this exciting. I felt a twitch in my loins and quickly forced my thoughts back on track.

“And he’s happy the way he is?”

“Oh yes, he’s definitely a very happy little one,” she assured me.

“So why are you telling me this now?”

“I like you Eric. I like you a lot. And more than that I trust you now. I want you in my life and that means being in Benny’s life too.”

“I want to be in your life too Elly, but I have to say having your husband around would be very weird.”

She nodded. “I understand that, but you have to see that he’s a child now Eric. He’ll see you as an adult, as a care provider. He’ll love you too. I promise he won’t resent you at all.”

“Maybe, but I just feel really awkward about it.”

“Please, just let me introduce him to you. We can have dinner at Spur on Friday. Just see how it goes, give him a chance. Give us a chance,” she pleaded, looking into my eyes.

Despite all my misgivings I couldn’t help but give in to those beautiful eyes, nodding.

“Wonderful! I promise you two will get along just fine.”

**

Friday evening I really did think about calling the whole thing off. The idea of meeting my girlfriend’s husband just seemed insane. The fact he was a total retard now actually made it seem even worse. What would the guy be like? Would she roll him in in a wheelchair? Would he be screeching weird noises the whole time, having tics and convulsions? That’s what I pictured brain-damaged people being like. In the end though, I focused my mind on Elly and I went.

I arrived at the restaurant first, taking our seats at a table near the entry. Spur was a family restaurant and it was a bit loud with kids running helter-skelter between the play area and the seating. I only had to wait about five minutes, perusing the menu and feeling nervous, before Elly walked in. I immediately focused on the young man entering with her. He couldn’t have been any older than her. If anything he looked a bit younger, early twenties even. His had short blonde hair and was about the same height as myself, five foot nine. He was of medium build, certainly not muscular, but not overweight. What I really noticed was his mannerisms and the way he was dressed.

Benny was holding Elly’s hand, but not like a loving couple would hold hands. He was letting her lead him along like a little child would. He was smiling, looking over at the kids play area with eager eyes, like he actually thought he could go join them. He wore a red t-shirt with a Spiderman motif. I was surprised such shirts could even be bought in adult sizes. He also wore navy track pants, which were normal enough, except that they ended a good inch above his ankles. They made him look like a kid who’s recently had a growth spurt but still wanted to wear his old clothes. But by far the most noticeable element of his outfit was the fact that he was barefoot.

That really got my attention. He was a grown man but there he was, walking into a sit-down restaurant in bare feet. He certainly wasn’t the only barefoot person in the Spur. Many of the kids had shed their shoes and sandals under their tables to play in the kiddy-area and were often running and skipping back and forth across the restaurant in bare feet. A good number of those kids had arrived barefoot as well. But it was safe to say that Benny was the only person over the age of about ten, maybe twelve, who was barefoot here.

Elly spotted me and gave a little wave, heading across the restaurant to my table. I noticed a few patrons looked up and gave Benny a quick glance, but most tried to avert their gaze quickly, not wanting to be caught staring at an obviously ‘special’ young man. I felt most awkward myself. He wasn’t handicapped looking at all. In fact he looked like a real overgrown kid, like something from the stories I liked to read when I was alone with my computer. I had to conceal my interest though. I was here for Elly, for a chance of normality, a chance of a future that didn’t involve a lifetime of loneliness.

“Hi, sorry we’re late,” Elly said, arriving at the table.

“No problem, I just got here a minute ago,” I assured her, standing.

She led her hubby forward and said quietly, “Benny, this is my new friend Eric. Can you say hi to him?”

The young man smiled at me and then loudly declared, “Hi! I Benny!”

“Well hi there Benny, I’m Eric. It’s nice to meet you,” I replied, speaking to him as though he were a little kid.

Benny smiled but said nothing more. Elly helped him into a seat and asked our waitress if we could have some crayons and a play mat for him. Within a couple minutes Benny was happily scribbling away at his play mat, the crayon grasped in his fist in a juvenile way. His fine motor skills were evidently all but gone and I was pretty certain he wouldn’t have been able to hold a pencil or even write his own name in crayon if I asked him to.

Elly and I chatted about our weeks and Benny seemed content to be left out of our adult talk. When he finished with a maze he flipped the mat over and just drew crude scribbles on the back. Elly was telling me about a recent issue she’d had with her boss when Benny suddenly interrupted her mid-sentence, oblivious to social etiquette.

“Look!” he shouted, holding up his play mat and pointing to one of his scribbles.

Elly feigned a pleased smile and put on the high-pitched sing-song voice one uses with the smallest of children. “Oh my, that is a good one sweetie. What is it?”

“A choo-choo twain,” he proudly told her.

“Oh, is it Thomas?” she asked.

“Noooo,” he giggled. “Thomas bwue mummy!” he reminded her.

I immediately registered his use of the name ‘mummy’ for his wife. I wondered if he really thought she was his mum, or if it was just simpler for him to think of his wife that way.

“That’s right, of course,” Elly chided herself for his benefit.

“Siwwy mummy,” Benny agreed.

“So what colour is that sweetie?” she asked, again feigning ignorance.

Benny looked at it hard for a moment, then smiled broadly and declared, “Dat’s Wed.”

“Of course! What a bright boy you are Benny! You know all your colours now, don’t you?”

Benny nodded proudly.

“Yes, he’s… um… very smart,” I chimed in, nodding too. “So which train is it Benny?”

“Is James,” he informed us. “He a naughty twain.”

“Yes, James can be very cheeky, can’t he darling,” Elly said.

Benny nodded.

The waitress arrived to take our orders. Elly and I each put ours in, then Elly proceeded to order for Benny, from the kids’ menu to boot. Benny didn’t seem to mind though. He was looking over at the play area again. He turned back to Elly. “Mummy, c’n I pway?” he asked.

“Okay honey, but you have to be careful of the other children. Remember, they’re much littler than you. So no rough stuff,” she reminded him sternly.

Benny nodded dutifully.

“Okay, go ahead then. But you come right back when I call you.”

Benny beamed as he stood and scurried over to the play area, climbing right into the ball-pit.

“You don’t think that will cause any trouble?” I asked, a bit worried that other parents would complain or the restaurant would get angry.

Elly shook her head. “No, we’ve come here before. He’ll be fine.”

I nodded. “He’s really, um, cute.”

“I know, he’s just precious now isn’t he?”

“Does he always dress like that?”

She shrugged. “He really loves Spiderman.”

“No I mean, is it normal for him to go places barefoot?”

“Does it bother you?” she asked, looking surprised.

I quickly shook my head, not wanting to upset her. “No, I was just surprised by it, that’s all. You don’t see many adults go out to restaurants in bare feet like that.”

“No, you don’t, but Benny isn’t an adult. You see Eric, that’s what I need you to understand. Benny is a little boy in a big body. He sees lots of other little boys going barefoot pretty much everywhere, so he sees no reason why he shouldn’t be able to do the same if he wants.”

I nodded, trying to seem understanding. “So, he likes going barefoot now.”

“Oh yes, he just loves the feeling of it. On the rare occasions when he needs to wear shoes he always pouts at having to put them on.”

“And you’re fine with that?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” she asked, sounding defensive. “He’s a little boy and it’s natural for them to go barefoot. In fact I think it’s the best thing for them. His feet have gotten nice tough soles since he started running around that way, so he has no problem with glass or hot surfaces. He’s just fine the way he is.”

“I can see what you mean,” I agreed, letting the whole thing drop.

“I’m glad Eric. I really want you to be a part of our lives, but that means accepting Benny for what he is. When you look at him you need to see a big toddler and nothing more.”

“I can do that. I mean, I’ll try the best I can.”

**

Dinner went smoothly after that little hiccup. Benny returned and sat quietly with his legs drawn up to his chest, playing with his toes while Elly cut up his chicken finger strips for him. Then he used his fingers to eat his food, ignoring the utensils. It wasn’t the cleanest eating job I’d seen and at the end Lisa needed to wet a napkin and clean his face up. He then returned to the play area while we enjoyed tea. Eventually it was time for us all to go home. Elly seemed satisfied that I’d been tolerant of Benny and was clearly still interested in her. I was glad to see that Benny wasn’t a complete slobbering mess and physically looked quite normal still. One final test came as we left. Benny took Elly’s hand and then reached his free one out to me expectantly. I hesitated a moment, but then swallowed my pride and took his hand into mine, letting his pad along between the two of us like he was our child.

We headed out to Elly’s car and I finally got my hand back as Lisa loaded him into the back seat.

“Puppy!” the young man squealed.

I was confused, but Elly just reached down to the far side of the back seat floor and picked up a stuffed dog, setting it in Benny’s lap. The young man cuddled the stuffed animal close and rubbed his cheek against the soft material, smiling and closing his eyes in contentment.

“Why don’t you come over tomorrow afternoon,” Elly suggested. “We can have tea and you can see my place finally.”

“That sounds great. I’ll be over about three.”

We parted ways and I felt pretty good about how that went. Yeah there was some weird stuff to deal with but at least I was getting closer to Lisa now. She was going to let me into her life.

**

The next day I drove to Elly’s house. It was a pretty sizeable place actually, nestled in a comfortable suburb north of Joburg’s city centre and set back from the road by a private walled front yard and gated driveway. Like most houses in this city it was heavily protected with electric fencing and razor wire. I parked out front and waited for her to buzz me into the drive. It was a very nice little place indeed. There was a big ten-speed mountain bike sitting in the driveway, but it was obviously modified for Benny’s use. For one thing it had big training wheels on the side, turning it into a giant trike. The normal pedals with their sharp studs had been replaced by soft green ones, friendlier to bare feet. There was also a plastic slide and some toys abandoned at the base of it in the front yard. Yep, it looked like a little kid lived here alright.

As I headed up the footpath Elly stepped out of the front door.

“Hey there handsome,” she cooed.

“Hey there hot stuff,” I replied.

“I see you found the place. Any trouble?”

“Nope, I’m good with directions,” I assured her.

“Well I’m glad you made it,” she told me with a warm smile, leaning into my arms and planting a kiss on my lips.

“So where’s the big rugrat?”

“He’s playing with his toy cars. He’d just love for you to join him for a bit,” she told me.

I furrowed my brow. “Join him? Elly, I kind of thought we might, y’know, spend a little time together.”

She gave me an understanding look. “I know honey, I want to too. But you need to spend a time getting to know Benny a bit better. You’re going to be in his life now and that means the two of you need to bond a bit.”

This wasn’t exactly why I thought I was coming over today. But Elly needed to see I could be good with her ‘kid’ and I wasn’t going to disappoint her.

“Sure honey, that’s fine. I’d love to get to know Benny better.”

Now she smiled and kissed me again, warmly on the lips. “Thanks so much Eric, I knew you’d understand.”

“No problem. Now, just exactly what is it you’d like me to do with the ‘little’ guy?”

“Just play with him, entertain him. He’s a sweet kid. I’m sure the two of you will get along famously.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” I agreed, maybe sounding a bit too eager, giving away my skepticism. I wasn’t too good with kids, never mind a giant toddler like Benny was. Sure I’d read about similar things online, but being in the same room with a big tot was totally different. But Elly was so happy I was playing along, I couldn’t back out now.

“Now I have to warn you, Benny doesn’t exactly dress up for just playing around the house…” Elly began to explain.

But heavy footsteps could be heard behind her and then Benny’s voice called, “Mummy I wan’ juice!”

A second later the twenty-something man stepped out the front door and padded down the front steps to where Elly and I stood. I felt a wave of embarrassment sweep over me. I wasn’t sure what to do or where to look. Benny was completely naked. His whole adult body was revealed before me. His penis, Jesus I’d never seen another man’s penis just on display like that before. It was just hanging there between his bare thighs, just as plain as day. I mean I tried not to stare at it, but somehow I couldn’t help it. It was like looking at a car accident, seeing something that was supposed to be so private, so taboo. And then his eyes caught mine and he glanced down and I knew that he knew what I was staring at. He’d caught me staring at his junk! I must have been red as a tomato.

But Benny didn’t seem upset I was looking at it. In fact he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He made no attempt to cover up. I thought he’d be horribly embarrassed when he realized I was there too, that it wasn’t just his wife turned mum who was seeing him nude. I thought surely he’d run back in the house crying or at least blushing. But he didn’t. Instead he smiled at me. He actually fucking smiled! Like this was totally normal. Like there was nothing wrong with another man he barely knew seeing his exposed penis, seeing him stark naked in the front yard. I mean, this wasn’t a shower, it wasn’t a bathroom, it wasn’t even a beach or a pool. This was the goddamned front yard! This was not a normal place for a man to be totally unclothed. How could he be so calm, so relaxed about it?

“Mummy, dat’s Ewic,” he told Elly, pointing at me as though she might not have noticed me standing there.

“Oh yes honey, Eric’s come by to spend the afternoon with us,” she told him cheerily.

“He gotta funny face. It all wed,” he giggled, pointing at me.

“Honey it’s rude to point, remember?” Elly chided.

Benny put his hand down. “Sowwy,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay sweetie. Eric is just very hot, that’s all.”

Benny nodded seriously. “He c’n take his cwothes off. Den he not hot,” Benny suggested.

Elly sniggered at his suggestion while I just blushed all the more. “Oh I think Eric will be just fine once we’re inside dear. Grown-ups don’t take their clothes off dear.”

Benny nodded. “Onwy widdle boys,” Benny stated solemnly, nodding.

“That’s right dear. Just little jaybird boys like you,” Elly confirmed.

Benny giggled and to my utter horror he actually grabbed his penis, tugging it out and looking right at me as he did so. “Gotta pee-pee cuz I a boy. You gotta pee-pee?” he said, truly curious.

I was so stunned I couldn’t even respond. My words caught in my mouth, creating a kind of soft gargling sound. So Elly did for me.

“Yes honey, Eric is a boy too,” she told him.

I wanted to correct her and say I wasn’t a boy, I was a man, but my voice wasn’t back yet.

“Why don’t you go inside and show Eric your toys. I’m sure he’d love to play with you a bit.”

Benny lit up at this suggestion. “Yeah! You like ‘em. Dey’s boys toys,” he assured me, then spun around, showing off his tanned bare bottom, and scurried back up the steps and into the house.

Elly gave me a half-grin and shrugged. “Well, I was about to warn you,” she offered.

“He… he’s naked,” I finally got out.

“Yes, he’s like that pretty much every day. He’s become quite the little nudist since he changed. He lost all his modesty. Well you saw that. He has no sense of privacy, no concept of body shame. He’s quite proud of his boy parts. He likes showing them to people, especially other boys. He also just loathes the feeling of clothing, especially in warm weather and as a consequence he ends up naked most days.”

“But Elly, he’s a grown man,” I reminded her.

“He doesn’t understand that honey, I’ve explained that to you.”

“But you know that. How can you let him troop around that way? What if neighbours saw him? It just isn’t right?”

“The yard is very private and it’s never been a problem. He feels comfy that way and I want him to feel like any normal toddler who hates clothes. It’s very normal behaviour at his mental age.”

“He had no tan lines, no… no hair… y’know, down there,” I whispered, feeling dirty just saying it.

Elly nodded, not seeming embarrassed at all. “He’s much easier to clean without the hair. It got quite dirty from his playing. I have to bathe him nightly you know. And for the lack of lines, well I told you, this is his normal state at home. I’m not going to apologise for it. You’re the one who’ll need to get used to it if you want to be part of our lives.”

As much as it upset me I had to give it up and move on. I could see Elly wasn’t going to change her mind on this. I guessed the awkwardness would pass once I got used to him being that way around me anyway. It would just be hard at first.

“Okay, I understand. I don’t want to fight about this Elly. Let’s head in and I’ll do my best to bond with him. I promise.”

“I knew you’d come around,” she cooed, pecking another kiss on my cheek and taking my hand to lead me into the house.

We found Benny playing in the kitchen, pushing his toy fire-truck and police car around the tile floor on his hands and knees. Seeing his big bare bottom made me feel a little bit sick again, but I forced that feeling back and, with Lisa’s encouragement, knelt down on the floor beside the man and said, “What you playing with there Benny?”

“Voom-vwoom cah,” he told me, pushing one over towards my hands.

“Oh, thanks buddy,” I said, taking the toy and pushing it half-heartedly around behind his.

Benny seemed to like that. He giggled and then started making car noises as he crept around the floor. I followed after him, noticing just how black the soles of his bare feet were. They were right there before me and I could see that the soles were not just dirty but thickened, toughened from normally being barefoot. I could also see his balls and penis hanging between his legs as he crept about. He didn’t mind me seeing those of course, the poor guy had lost all his modesty in whatever incident it was that robbed him of his functioning adult mind.

I played with Benny for the rest of that afternoon. At first I thought Elly just wanted me to give the little guy some attention before we had tea, but then she kept encouraging Benny to show me new stuff. She had him take me to the back yard and sit beside him on the swings. He tried to swing higher than me and I let him of course, remarking on how skilled he was at swinging. Then he was off to show me his tricycle, the modified mountain bike I’d seen in the driveway. It was something else watching him ride that in little circles up and down the driveway. That was a remnant of his adult pass. No doubt he’d once powered up and down real hills and mountains on that expensive bike, probably clad in proper shin-guards and helmet. Now he sat naked on the bike, his penis flopping off to the side of the black seat, his bare toes curling around the bright plastic pedals as he chortled gleefully.

“Benny honey, make sure you let Eric have a turn!” Elly called from the front door.

I shook my head. “Oh, no that’s fine Benny,” I assured him. What the hell was Elly on about? Why would I want to sit on that seat that his balls and penis were rubbing against?

But Benny was already stopping and climbing off. “Kay, you twy Ewic,” he offered.

“No, I don’t really want to Benny. You keep going.”

He shrugged. “Nah, I wan’ milk,” he declared, abandoning the trike where it was and scurrying inside.

The afternoon got weirder as we moved towards evening. Lisa poured me a cup of milk too. I drank it and tried not to gag. I’d hated milk since I was about six. Then she insisted I watch Benny’s favourite Disney movie, some straight to DVD tripe, with him. He couldn’t sit still all the way through it and took to climbing all over the couch. But for some reason I actually found myself absorbed by the stupid video and when it finished I realized I’d completely lost track of time. I couldn’t even recall what the video was about, even though I just watched it. I looked over at the window and saw that it had gotten dark. Geese, how long was I sitting there?

Benny was sitting beside me, playing with his dirty toes. He was holding a foot in his hands, wiggling them, watching them with real interest.

“You like your toes eh?” I joked with him.

Benny smiled at me and nodded seriously. “They’s wiggly,” he said with satisfaction.

“Yeah and I bet they taste nice too,” I suggested, wondering just how far his interest in his toes went.

Benny giggled mischievously and nodded, then yanked his foot up to his mouth and popped three toes between his lips, actually sucking on them before me. I couldn’t believe he’d actually done it. But there he was, nibbling those blackened, filthy digits, smiling around them, totally unashamed. It would have been shocking enough if that was all that happened. But then his body began to have another reaction. Maybe it was the act of suckling that caused it, or his happiness that I seemed to like him. Whatever the cause, his penis began to lengthen, then to stiffen. As I sat there watching it twitched and jerked upward until it had reached a sizeable length and was standing straight up.

As I stared at the engorged member Elly walked in from the kitchen. She looked down at what Benny was doing and her eyes fell on his stiff penis. She smiled and shook her head. “Uh-oh, looks like we have a happy toe-muncher,” she cooed.

Benny chortled around his toes.

Elly walked over to the coffee table, grabbing up a pump bottle and squeezing some lotion into her palm. She rubbed her hands together, getting them all slicked up, then sat on the couch and patted her knee. “C’mon Benny, sit on mummy’s lap,” she directed.

Benny let his toes escape his lips with a giggle and scrambled up onto her knee, sliding back into Elly’s lap and resting his head back against her shoulder. She kissed his cheek and whispered, “That’s a good boy. Benny’s feeling nice and happy huh?”

“Gotta happy pee-pee,” Benny replied softly.

“Yes, that’s a very happy pee-pee honey. What’s made you feel so happy tonight?”

“Ewic’s nice,” he replied.

“I’m glad you’re getting along so well with him,” Elly cooed back.

“’nd I munched my toes,” he added.

“Yes, it’s always lovely to have a nibble of your toesies,” she agreed. Then she looked down at me and said, “C’mon up here Eric. Sit next to me. You’ll have to see this sooner or later.”

I got up and sat beside them on the couch, wondering what was going on here. It seemed unreal. It couldn’t be what I was thought, it just couldn’t.

“Benny is a lovely little boy, but because he’s such a big boy his pee-pee sometimes gets very happy and stands up. And when that happens Benny knows he needs to make a sticky pee-pee. Sometimes he makes stickies himself. But other times he likes to have mummy’s help,” she explained.

“Mummy gib stickies,” Benny announced happily.

“Yes honey-bun,” she cooed, taking her slippery hands and wrapping them around his raging erection.

I sat in stunned awe, unable to look away as she stroked him gently up and down. A part of me was feeling revulsion, watching her jack off the retarded man. He was panting and sighing with ecstasy, purring with contentment. She was still pecking his cheeks with kisses, cooing to him what a good little boy he was, about the lovely stickies he was about to make for mummy. In one way it was sickening. At the same time though, I felt jealous. My dream girl was jacking another man off, giving him a lovely hand-job when I’d never had more than a kiss from her. Part of me wanted to switch places with him, let her help with my ‘stickies.’

Elly looked over at me. “Give him some encouragement, would you dear.”

I couldn’t believe I was doing it, but for Elly’s sake I reached over and put my hand softly on Benny’s arm, feeling his smooth, warm skin. He glanced over at me.

“Go ahead Benny. Make some… um, big stickies for us. Get those stickies out buddy,” I urged.

Elly nodded and Benny smiled at me, then his eyes rolled back and white goo began to squirt from his stiffy in spurts, splashing across his tummy, leaving sticky lines up to his chest. Elly kept the pressure on his pee-pee, cooing to him that he was being a very good boy, making big stickies for her.

After he’d had his last little squirts she took a washcloth and gently cleaned his tummy and chest of his release. Then she turned to me and smiled. “Would you like to make some stickies too baby,” she cooed in a seductive voice.

I was instantly turned on. I felt weird nodding while Benny was right there looking at me, but I did all the same. Elly chuckled at my response. “Well you’ll have to wait a little bit sweetie, but if you’re a good boy there’ll be a treat for you soon enough.”

God she knew how to string me along. Lisa had my cock pulsing with arousal now. But then she slipped Benny off her lap and got up to make dinner. And I was left to play with him yet again, when I really wanted to be playing with her.

“I’m a sticky boy,” Benny told me pleasantly.

“Yeah, I saw that.”

“Mummy gib good stickies.”

“I bet she does.”

“She gonna gib you stickies?”

I chuckled. “Maybe.”

He smiled and scooted away, pushing his plush toy across the carpet again.

**

Dinner was even weirder feeling. Elly made herself a nice steak, but for both Benny and myself it was fish finger, served without any silverware. When she put the plate down I asked, “Um Elly, what’s this?”

“Fish fingers honey.”

“No, I mean, I know that. I mean, why no steak for me?”

“I thought you could enjoy something simple with Benny, get to know how he eats. Benny loves his fish fingers, don’t you dear?”

Benny nodded as he picked one up with his fingers. “Uh-huh.”

“Okay, but could I at least have a fork and knife?”

“Honey, they’re called fish fingers. You eat them with your fingers.”

She went on cutting up her fine steak and Benny stuffed his face with his fish fingers, smacking his lips, chewing with his mouth wide open, crumbs escaping his lips and dropping into his lap. I had little choice but to eat what was before me. Obviously there was no more steak cooked, so what choice did I have?

**

Dinner was weird, but at least we all got to relax on the couch together afterwards. I put my arm over Elly’s shoulder and she let me cuddle her close. We watched Modern Family, laughing together while Benny played at our feet with his silly Thomas trains. He didn’t get the jokes anymore, couldn’t follow the family show. Finally I had Lisa to myself for a bit. I pecked kisses on her cheek, pulled her a bit closer, put a hand on her hip and slid upwards.

Elly stopped me with her hand, pulling back. “Honey, I know this sounds silly, but would you mind sitting on the floor for me?”

“I… what?!”

“I know you want to get frisky sweetie, but that’s just not in the cards tonight. Tonight you’re here to play with Benny and bond with him. I’d like you to play with him now too. We have plenty of time to get closer ourselves.”

I frowned. “Look Elly, I like you a lot. Babe, I more than like you. I want you… badly. But this is just getting to be too much. I’ve tried to be accommodating. I ate fish fingers with Benny, I played with him all afternoon, watched his stupid movie, even sat by while you pleasured him in front of me. I did all that for you. Don’t I deserve something for that?”

“Of course you do Eric,” she assured me, brushing my cheek with her hand. “I want you too honey. But I have to be sure my boy will be safe and loved. I need to know you can care about his needs. If you can’t do that, I don’t see how this can work. You’ve been doing so well this evening, don’t ruin it now.”

I felt a little guilty about my speech now. She was only thinking of the boy, even if he wasn’t really a boy. I nodded and slipped off the couch onto the floor, asking Benny to show me his trains more. Elly settled back on the couch, watching the TV while we played.

**

Once Modern Family was over Elly announced it was Benny’s bed time. She took him away for a bath and returned with him wearing a big red onesie jammies set. “Eric honey, would you mind going to the bathroom and getting changed too. I have a special set of jammies for you too,” she told me.

“Wait, you have special jammies for me?”

She nodded. “Go and have a look. If you get changed quick, you can have a special treat,” she said in that same seductive voice.

That was all I needed to hear. I hurried into the bathroom, closing the door. It was still a bit steamy from Benny’s bath. The floor was wet, bubbles and bath toys lay abandoned in the tub, a toy scuba man on the floor. Then I saw them, hanging from the hook. It was a baby blue set of one-piece jammies just like Benny’s. They were so childish looking. At least they didn’t have feet I thought. I didn’t want to wear anything so stupid looking, so embarrassing, but Elly’s promise of a treat, which had to mean at least a hand-job, maybe much more, pushed me forwards. I got changed out of my clothes quickly. As I was about to put them on there was a knock on the door.

“Eric honey, are you changing?”

“Yes!”

“Honey could you put the jammies on without any undies. You’ll find your treat a lot nicer without them on.”

My penis was standing straight up at attention in seconds. “Yep, no problem!”

I slipped off my boxers and pulled on the fuzzy onesie. It was so soft and comfy on my skin. I did up the zipper, reveling in the sensations of the material rubbing against, caressing my penis. This was going to be good.

“All changed?” Elly called.

I swung open the door. “Yep. Is he in bed?”

She nodded, stepping forward and planting a hand on the spot where my stiffy tented out the jammies.

“Ready for some fun, honey-bun?”

I nodded, eyes wide, hormones pumping.

Her hand rocked back and forth, the material slid against me and it was bliss. I moaned. It was amazing!

“That’s right baby, it feels so good doesn’t it?”

“Oh yeah,” I gasped.

“Baby’s gonna make a big sticky isn’t he?” she cooed.

The baby talk actually turned me on now. Stupid Benny was asleep in his wittle bed and now it was the grown-up’s play time. Her hand went up and down, gripped it tighter, made it even more wonderful. I cuddled her up, let her grind against me. My breathing came faster and faster, my heart rate ticked up and up. I was at the edge and then, ohhh, it was ecstasy. I bucked and gasped as I came all over the inside of the fuzzy jammies. I felt so light-headed, so lovely and relaxed.

“Good boy,” she cooed to me, “Such a good boy making stickies for mummy.”

I didn’t mind her baby talk at all, it made me even hornier, made this feel even better. My orgasm went on for what felt like a full minute. Finally I was spent and I relaxed in her arms, letting her caress my back now, kiss my cheek. I felt a bit light-headed still, a little fuzzy.

“That was nice, wasn’t it Eric?”

I nodded wordlessly. I felt drained, sleepy.

“I think we’d better get you to bed,” she suggested.

“Where’s your room?” I asked.

“No honey, I can’t have you in my room yet. You’ve had your treat, you need to be a good boy for me tonight.”

“Um, okay,” I agreed.

“Good, come with me.”

She led me by the hand, down the corridor to a room I hadn’t seen. She opened the door. It was darker within, but lit in a bluish glow, lit by a night-light. There were two small beds, toys scattered on the floor. One bed was occupied already. Benny was asleep there. I looked at Elly and shook my head.

“I can’t…” I told her.

“Shh. Of course you can honey. Benny will be so happy to have a sleep-over.”

I wanted to protest more, but I was so, so sleepy and my head still felt fuzzy, sluggish. I let her lead me to the empty bed. She pulled back the covers and I climbed in with a big yawn. She tucked me in and kissed me on the forehead. “You have a nice, lovely sleep darling. I’ll come wake you in the morning.”

I needed to tell her no, needed to get up, get out of these stupid jammies, these comfy, comfy jammies and this soft, warm bed. I was so sleepy. And before she left she turned on some soft music. It could only just be heard. It was flute music I thought. And then she shut the door and sleep overtook me.

**

I dreamt strange vivid dreams that night. They were erotic dreams, involving Elly and the jammies and making so many squirts. And then I was woken by a tug on my sleeve. I opened my eyes. It was still dark out, the room lit by the bluish glow, the flute music still playing. Benny was standing beside my bed.

“C’n I sweep wid you? I hadda bad dweam,” he told me.

I found myself nodding automatically. As he climbed in I felt a wave of revulsion. This wasn’t right, he was a grown man and we shouldn’t be sharing a bed. But the wave passed and I felt fine again. Why was I upset a second ago? I couldn’t recall. I felt half-asleep still. Was this a dream? It felt kind of like a dream.

Benny rolled over and faced me. And then I felt it, his penis was big and stiff again and so was mine. They were touching each other, brushing against one another. I felt so, so aroused. Benny smiled and whispered, “Pee-pee happy.”

I nodded. “Mine too,” I admitted with a giggle. Why did I tell him that?

“Need stickies,” Benny told me.

I nodded again. Then wondered why I’d done that.

Without warning fingers touched the bulge in my jammies, feeling my stiffy. I gasped and almost pulled back. But it felt so good.

“You’s big.”

“Uh-huh.”

Benny smiled and the fingers tickled up and down the length of my shaft. It was wonderful! It was as good as before bed. I moaned softly. Benny was making me feel lovely and I didn’t want to fight it. All thoughts were gone. The only thing on my mind was making stickies, big, big stickies. It didn’t take very long. I was just so horny. After a minute my body bucked and warmth spread up onto my tummy.

“Ahhh,” I sighed as I squirted.

Benny giggled as I went.

“Stickies,” he whispered, feeling my penis twitching and my jammies getting warm.

When I’d finished I felt even more light-headed, even foggier than last time. It was like being half-asleep again. This worried me for a second, but then I felt something else. Benny’s penis was still sticking into me. He needed to do a sticky too. He’d been so nice helping me, it was only natural I do the same for him. It felt weird, taking the man’s rod in my hand, rubbing up and down with the fuzzy material rubbing it. I felt his warm breath in my cheek, puffing faster and heavier. He made little moans of pleasure and I whispered to him now.

“That’s it Benny, make stickies like I did. It feels sooo good.”

He took less time than me. I felt the twitches, the spasms of release as he came. The material got warm right away. He gasped and gurgled and I held his pee-pee tight as he went. When he was done he cuddled closer, his penis soft now, letting him fit in my arms better. It didn’t feel wrong now, didn’t embarrass me as I thought it would. I felt so close to Benny now. I enjoyed the sensations of fuzzy warmness. It made me feel sleepy again though.

“I like you,” benny whispered to me.

“I like you too,” I whispered back, really meaning it now.

He smiled and kissed my cheek. I returned the gesture, giggling at how silly that felt. And then we both drifted back to sleep to the gentle flute music.

**

In the morning Elly found the two of us still tangled together in the one bed. She smiled down at us and kissed each of our foreheads.

“Good morning boys,” she cooed.

It made me smile, the silly way she called us both boys when obviously we were both grown men.

“I see we’re feeling happy this morning,” she commented.

The covers had been kicked off in the night, exposing our jammies-clad bodies. As I looked down I saw what she meant. Both jammies had noticeable tents between the legs. Two stiffies were showing themselves to her. It should have been embarrassing. I knew that. Being found cuddling with Benny should have been humiliating, especially since my girlfriend was the one finding me that way. But the emotion wasn’t there. I felt calm, I felt relaxed and safe. My head still felt sluggish and foggy. I must have still been partly asleep.

“Did you boys have some stickies together last night?” she asked in a sing-song, like that was something perfectly normal.

“We do stickies!” Benny happily admitted to her.

She nodded knowingly. “I’m so glad you two are getting so close. Benny honey, I’d like you to go down to the kitchen and play while I talk with Eric, okay?”

Benny nodded and got up, his stiffy bobbing about as he toddled out of the room. Elly sat on my bed and rubbed my hair. “Feeling good baby?”

“Yeah, I just… my head’s kind of foggy right now. I think maybe something’s wrong.”

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about that. You’re just having fun. Your head’s probably fuzzy because you’re so, so horny. All that blood’s in your pee-pee instead of your head. Why don’t you let me fix that for you.”

Without further warning she was stroking my pee-pee yet again. It was great of course, but something felt wrong about this. I tried to explain. “Elly, oohh, I dunno about this. I just feel like I get more fuzzier every time, mmm…ugh, that I do stickies. I don’ get why I’m sooo horny neither.”

“Don’t worry your little head about it Eric dear. Just go with the flow. I’m going to make you feel sooo nice honey.”

I wanted to explain it better to her, but I could feel the climax coming again. I couldn’t believe I had anymore goo to squirt out at this point. But I did. It gushed into my jammies yet again, splattering my tummy and making my eyes roll all the way back as I enjoyed it.

When the high passed I felt much better. Whatever worries I’d had a moment ago, they just weren’t there anymore. Elly’s smile was there, floating above me, making me feel so safe and cared for.

“Was that nice Eric? Did you make a big sticky for me?”

“Uh-huh!” I told her, feeling so proud of the giant gush my big pee-pee had made.

“Lovely dear, let’s go down and have some brekkie.”

I nodded and let her stand me up, leading me to the kitchen by the hand. Benny was there, squatting on the floor, trying to pour some milk into a big plastic cup. He was having a hard time of it, kept spilling it all around the cup.

“Benny, let mummy do that,” Elly ordered, taking his hand and leading him away. She cleaned up the mess, then served us our breakfast. I got a big cup of milk and it was soo yummy. That was funny because I knew I’d hated milk for years. She must get some different kind. I’d have to ask her what brand it was so I could buy it. Then we had waffles and they were yummy too. Elly let me put lots of syrup on mine. I love syrup! Benny got very messy and Elly had to clean him up. He got syrup on his jammies too.

“C’mon honey, let’s get you out of these messy jammies,” Elly told him.

Benny nodded eagerly and put his hands in the air so she could unzip him and slip them down to his ankles, slipping one leg off at a time. Just like that Benny was all naked again. And I felt this real acute sense of jealousy. That looked so comfy, so free. I wondered what it felt like to have his penis just bouncing around all free like that. I could never remember actually going around naked in front of people that way. Adults couldn’t do that. Maybe Benny was lucky he wasn’t an adult anymore.

“There we go, all nakie,” Elly cooed to him.

“Nakie boy! Nakie boy!” Benny shouted, hopping in place to make his penis slap against his tummy.

I giggled at his silliness too.

“Going nakie sure looks comfy, doesn’t it Eric,” Elly said.

I nodded without really thinking about it. But then I thought better of it and added, “But only silly little boys can do that.”

Elly nodded. “Yep, only little jaybird boys can be nakie-bum all day. Good thing Benny’s just my little nudist now.”

Benny nodded and patted his tummy playfully.

“Benny, why don’t you take Eric to play out back.”

“Kay mummy.”

Benny came over and took my hand. I didn’t argue, play sounded like fun! We went into the backyard and I was still just in my jammies, which was itself a silly thing to do. We stepped into the grass and it tickled my toes and reminded me that I wasn’t wearing shoes. I broke away from Benny and turned back to the house. But Elly was right there behind me.

“What’s wrong dear?” she asked.

“I forgot my shoes,” I explained.

“Well we aren’t going anywhere honey. You don’t need shoes just to play do you?”

I thought about it and realized she was right. I didn’t need shoes to play and in fact being barefoot in the grass felt pretty nice.

“No, you don’t need shoes you silly-billy. I think you like being barefoot anyway, don’t you?”

I nodded, being barefoot was very nice. I wiggled my toes in the grass. That was fun. Then I turned and ran to the swings, hopping in the one next to Benny. Soon we were gliding back and forth and I was determined to go higher and faster than him. I was so much bigger after all, so much smarter than the silly dumb boy. He was too dumb to even wear clothes! His mummy made him go around all naked in front of everyone. I could definitely swing better than that little kid, even if he was a nice little kid who I liked to play with.

**

Benny and I had a lot of fun that day. We played in his sandpit after the swings. I thought it would be stupid little kid stuff at first but it turned out to be pretty fun actually. We went to the front and went down his slide. Then he got on his trike and road it around. I was actually feeling a bit left out just watching him ride until Elly came out of the garage pushing a second racing bike with training wheels and soft pedals. As much as I was feeling left out I hardly wanted to ride such a silly kiddy bike.

“Oh that’s okay Elly. I don’t need to ride that. I can just watch,” I told her.

“Oh don’t be silly Eric. I can see you want to play too.”

I shook my head. “Well, can you take the training wheels off? I just really don’t need those.”

“Oh honey it’s an awful fuss to take them off. Can’t you just ride with them on for now? I know you don’t really need them.”

“Well I guess so, just this once,” I finally agreed, albeit grudgingly.

It felt weird being on a bike that stood up even when it was standing still. I took my seat and placed my feet on the pedals. They felt smooth and soft. I looked down and saw they were made of neon green plastic, no studs to hurt bare feet. I gripped the pedal with my toes and pushed off. Soon I was moving through the breeze, racing up and down the driveway. It was exhilarating! I chased after Benny, easily catching him as his peddling was nowhere near as coordinated as mine. Elly was standing in the grass watching us, beaming. At first I felt this strange feeling like this wasn’t right. But I just couldn’t quite place what exactly it was that was wrong. I remembered I was playing with Benny to impress Elly, but maybe other stuff would impress her too, like how well I road my bike. I started doing lots of tricks for her. I road without my hands on the handlebars, I balanced on the bar as I went past, the trick made easier by my bare feet. I even tried to do an impressive sideways kid, but the stupid little kid training wheels prevented it.

All my tricks were going so well. I could see Elly smiling, watching me. I tried to stand with just one foot on the peddle at its highest point, gliding past her. The peddle slipped down suddenly and I was off balance, falling to the right. The peddle reached the lowest point and my foot slipped off the smooth plastic. I dropped sideways for what seemed like an hour, then made painful contact with the solid pavement. It hurt, but is was a real shock too. I smacked the ground and instantly my emotions got the better of me and I started to cry. It was so stupid, I wasn’t supposed to cry like a baby. But it hurt! And it was so scary! And I wanted Elly to make sure I was okay.

She was at my side in a flash.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry, are you okay?” she crooned to me.

I sniffled, trying to fight back the tears. “I… I fell,” I managed to choke out.

“I know honey, I saw that,” Elly said, using a gentle, comforting voice. I could feel her hand patting my shoulder.

“Are you hurt sweetie?” she asked.

I looked myself over, lifting up my right hand and wincing instantly as I saw the angry red abrasions across my palm. Seeing that immediately started another round of tears and whimpers.

“Oh, poor baby,” Elly cooed, drawing me into her arms, letting me rest my head on her shoulder and rubbing my back in soothing circular motions. “That’s right, get it all out. Have a good cry baby,” she whispered.

My tears let up after another minute and I sat back up, still sniffling a bit and rubbing at my stingy red eyes.

“Feeling better?” Elly asked.

I nodded.

“Okay, let’s go inside and clean those cuts up.”

I let her take me back into the house. She ran my hand under warm water and cleaned it with antibacterial soap. It stung but I tried better to act like the big man I was and not show it. I felt so stupid for crying like a big baby, like I was no better than little Benny. What was I doing riding around like that anyway? How were those stupid kid tricks going to impress a mature woman like Elly? What was I five? I felt like an idiot.

“There we go honey, all clean,” she declared, giving my hand back, a fresh plaster across the base of my palm.

“I feel stupid,” I admitted, not even wanting to look her in the eye after the way I’d behaved.

“Of don’t be all pouty Eric. Boys get cuts and bruises all the time. It’s what they’re supposed to do. I don’t have a year’s supply of plasters for nothing,” she joked.

“I’m not a boy Elly, I’m a man,” I whispered, feeling childish even saying such a thing.

“Of course you are dear. I didn’t mean it like that,” Elly assured.

I nodded, feeling even dumber. Of course she didn’t mean I was really like Benny. How could I have even thought that? Why was my head still so muddled, like I’d had far too much to drink but without the tipsy high. It was kind of like being on powerful cold medicine.

“You look pretty tired out from that ordeal babe. I think you should have a quick nap to recuperate.”

“No, no I’m fine Elly.”

“You say that, but I can see those eyelids drooping. Come on, let’s take a quick nap to recharge and then we can go out.”

I couldn’t help but yawn, all the talk of sleepiness put it in my mind. Now I knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I nodded and let her lead me back to Benny’s room.

“Good thing you’re still in your lovely jammies,” she commented as she tucked me back in the bed.

I hadn’t even thought about it. What was I still doing in jammies? It had to be the middle of the afternoon by now. Had I spent the whole day running around in pyjamas like a little kid? Something was clearly wrong with me. But I didn’t want to say anything about it to Elly, I was already having a hard enough time proving to her that I was still a grown man. So I let her pull up the covers, kiss my forehead and slip out the door. As it closed I noticed the soft music from the night before returning. I could only just hear it and the more I strained to make it out, the sleepier I got. Despite it being mid-afternoon and the window filled with bright sunlight, I drifted off to sleep in moments.

**

I awoke feeling much more rested. But there was something else I was immediately aware of. It was a familiar warm hardness between my legs. I pulled back the covers and admired the absolutely huge tent in my jammies. I was used to waking up with morning wood, but this was different. I felt like I hadn’t had release in days. I rolled to my side and noticed I wasn’t exactly alone in the bed. There was a soft brown teddy bear, big and plush. I pulled the teddy close, hugging it tightly and enjoying the softness of its ‘fur’ before pushing it down under the covers, until it brushed against the tent in my jammies.

I smiled at my naughtiness, at the lovely sensations. I rocked the teddy back and forth, luxuriating in what I was doing, the feelings I was creating. “That’s right mister teddy, just like that,” I whispered to the stuffed toy, giggling.

The sensations built and built until… the feelings swept me away. I rode a wave of endorphins that carried my thoughts away.

When the high abated I found myself feeling lovely and relaxed, but also more muddled than before my nap. It was so hard to even describe the feeling now. It was like… like I was pretending to be a man. Like I knew that I was a man, so much bigger than dumb little Benny, little nakie-bum, toe-munching Benny, but I couldn’t be sure how to act like it. Suddenly I felt really afraid that I couldn’t remember how to act bigger than Benny. I didn’t want Elly to think I was like him. I wanted to sleep in her bed, not in Benny’s nursery! But I felt, so little, so very small and helpless. I knew what little babies like Benny did, I knew not to do those things. But I couldn’t recall exactly what big men did.

The door opened and Elly walked in, carrying some clothes. “Well, I see the sleepyhead is up again,” she said.

“Yeah I up Elly,” I told her. Speaking felt strange. My mind kept wandering as I put the words together. Did that come out right? I wasn’t sure.

“Did you have a good nap?”

I nodded, trying to avoid speaking as it threatened to reveal my thinking difficulties to her.

“Good. I thought we’d go out for some early dinner, or maybe some late lunch. Whatever you prefer dear. Benny has his heart set on Pasta Pete’s, so I hope that’s fine with you.”

“Uh-huh,” I agreed, even though I actually didn’t think I liked that place. It was another family dinner place with a play area, always overrun with snot-nosed little kids.

“Lovely. So, you’ll need to get dressed dear. You can’t very well go to dinner in your jammies, though I know they are comfy.”

The thought of being seen outside in these things terrified me. No, I definitely wanted to get dressed. Perhaps that would help. Being dressed like a big man again would help clear my mind.

“I’m afraid I put your other clothes in the wash and they aren’t dry yet, so you’ll have to wear some of Benny’s old things. He’s about the same size as you, so they should fit.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. How could I feel like a man wearing little Benny’s stuff? I watched her lay out an outfit for me. She hadn’t brought choices at all, just chose what I was going to wear for me. There was a plain black t-shirt with a yellow Batman symbol across the front and a pair of baggy jean shorts with big cargo pockets. It wasn’t too juvenile at least, but it still looked like something a twelve year old would wear, and even that might have been generous.

I frowned at the sight of the clothes and Elly noticed. “What’s wrong dear? You don’t like them?”

“Don’ like the shirt,” I muttered.

“Oh, you don’t like Batman honey? Would you prefer Spiderman? Benny has several of those.”

I shook my head. “It’s for kids,” I told her.

“Batman? Are you kidding? I thought you told me Dark Knight was your favourite movie of all time?”

I had to agree that was true. Maybe she was right. “I guess so,” I agreed.

“Okay, get dressed and come out to the living room then dear,” she directed.

“Oh, wait. I don’ got no undies!” I shouted as she was about to leave the room. I immediately blushed at my poor word choice and enunciation. I knew that sounded all wrong, but I couldn’t recall how to fix it either. Luckily she didn’t seem to have noticed my verbal slip at all.

“There are undies in the top drawer dear,” she directed before leaving.

I got up and opened the drawer. All the undies were colourful ones with cartoon designs. But then no one would see them anyway, so what choice did I have? I pulled on a pair of Cars designed undies and then quickly covered them with the jean shorts. I didn’t like that they fell nearly at the middle of my calves. Only little kids wore shorts that long these days. Still I could just be an out of fashion adult. Then I pulled on the t-shirt, still not sure if Batman was for adults or not.

I padded down the hallway and into the living room. I could hear the TV playing so I figured they were down there. Sure enough Elly was sitting on the couch and Benny was sitting on his bottom on the floor at her feet watching Phineas and Ferb on Nickelodeon. I had to snicker at the way Benny was dressed now. He wore a yellow t-shirt and light blue jean shortalls. He was sitting there innocently sucking his thumb, entranced by the cartoon. Seeing him in that get-up made me feel better. I was definitely bigger than stupid Benny, he was such a baby.

“I ready,” I announced loudly, feeling proud of my much more manly outfit.

Benny and Elly looked up and smiled. “You look very smart in that outfit Eric,” she told me.

“Thanks Elly,” I replied. Yes, I was smart, not a dumb-dumb like the boy on the floor. Only babies sat on the floor. I sat on the couch next to Elly.

We watched the end of the show, then Elly turned off the TV and we headed out to the car. Benny skipped right out the front door. I stopped before it, looking for the shoes and socks I’d left here the previous afternoon. There were several pairs of shoes there, but all for a woman. There wasn’t a single pair of man’s shoes, nothing that looked remotely like my own.

“Elly, my shoes gone,” I complained.

“Really? Did you have some on when you arrived?” she asked.

I looked at her like she’d gone crazy. Of course I’d arrived with shoes. How could she not remember that? I nodded vehemently. “Course I dids!” I insisted.

“Are you sure sweetie? I don’t really recall what you had on yesterday.”

“I had shoes!” I shouted. How could she doubt that? She was being stupid!

Elly just shrugged. “A lot of boys don’t bother wearing shoes to play at a friend’s house dear. Perhaps you left them at home and simply forgot.”

Was that possible? Elly said that was normal for boys to do. Would I have come over to play without any shoes on? I tried to remember yesterday clearly. I remembered playing in the yard and I remembered putting on the jammies, but it was all so fuzzy because of whatever was wrong with my stupid head right now. I couldn’t remember whether I had them or not.

“I… I dunno,” I sulked.

“It’s okay darling, you don’t need them for Pasta Pete’s anyway. It isn’t a really dressy restaurant anyway.”

I shook my head. “No, we c’n stop at my house. I got ‘em there,” I insisted. I couldn’t go to a restaurant without any shoes on. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t a dressy place, adults just did not do that. I’d be stared at. They might not let me in. Only silly kids went to sit-down restaurants in bare feet because they weren’t expected to wear shoes anywhere. They were just silly little kids after all.

“We don’t have time for that darling. Your house is the opposite direction. Benny’s tummy is already all grumbly dear.”

“What I gonna do?” I asked in desperation.

“Eric, calm down,” Elly urged, pulling me into a hug.

“I… I don’t got shoes Elly. I dunno why I forgot ‘em. Somethin’ wrong with me Elly. My head’s not right. It’s all clouded ‘nd stuff.”

“There, there Eric, don’t get yourself all worked up. I’m sure a good meal will help focus your mind. Don’t be so worried about what other people think. No one will mind you being barefoot at Pasta Pete’s, I promise baby. Benny’s going barefoot too. He goes there barefoot all the time and no one’s ever said a thing. You know it’s perfectly normal for boys to do that.”

“But… but I’m not like Benny,” I said, half statement, half question.

“No, I know that dear. But you’re a boy aren’t you? You’re not a girl I mean. Right?”

“No, I’m a boy!” I assured her.

“Then you’ll be just fine this one time won’t you?”

I looked into her eyes and I knew I could trust Elly. She wouldn’t let me be embarrassed. I nodded. “Okay.”

“Then let’s get going,” she urged.

We headed out the door and I was suddenly aware of every step I took without shoes on. I was walking to the car this way, leaving the house without them. Benny was in the car already, sitting in the back seat, waiting for his mum to do his seat-belt up. I walked to the front door but Elly called, “Honey could you sit in the back with Benny? I have some bags in the front I don’t want to move.”

I nodded and climbed into the back, sitting right next to Benny. Unlike him I knew how to put on my seatbelt. I did it up with vigour, eager to prove I was still bigger than him. Elly arrived and buckled him up a moment later. She noticed I’d done my own and gave me a little nod that made me swell with pride.

**

The car park of Pasta Pete’s was pretty packed. The sun was getting a bit low in the sky and dinner hour had indeed arrived. My heart-rate ticked up a notch as soon as my feet felt the warm pavement beneath them. Benny was out in front and Elly had a firm grip on his hand. I watched him walk ahead of me, glancing at the black soles of his feet exposed every time he took a step. Did mine look like that too? Would they soon?

The moment of truth arrived. Elly let Benny open the door. He liked opening and closing doors. I caught it from him and followed the other young man into the lobby. There were a couple young families waiting for tables, sitting in long booths by the entry. I glanced over at the ones on the right. A mother and father, probably only a few years older than me but dressed in much more mature clothing. The man wore a button-down shirt and proper jeans with stylish sneakers. I could see his gaze drifting over Benny and then to me, sweeping over my Batman t-shirt, baggy shorts and bare feet. I felt like I was being x-rayed.

To the man’s right was a little boy of seven or eight. The mousy-haired kid wore a simple orange t-shirt and baggy board shorts of similar length to mine. What I most noticed was that he was barefoot too. I was dressed like the little kid, not the dad. Another family was walking out past us. Again the parents looked so much older to me now, so much more mature. Yes they wore shorts and sandals, but the shorts were of a proper length and the sandals still stood as a demarcating like between child and adult. Between them were two boys. The older was probably twelve, maybe thirteen and the younger only five or six. Both wore bright t-shirts and baggy athletic shorts and both were in bare feet. The older one made eye-contact with me, his eyes drifting down to my exposed toes. He smiled and whispered to his little brother, who also looked and smiled even broader. I knew they were mocking me. Even though they were as unshod as I was they knew I was much too big to be dressed like them. And that made me angry. It was so unfair that they got to run around shoeless and no one cared, but if I did it people would stare and snigger. It just wasn’t fair!

While I was preoccupied with thee thoughts Elly had secured a table for us. We headed across the restaurant and sat down at a square table in the middle. The waiter made no comment about Benny’s attire, nor mine. Benny didn’t stay seated for long though. Within a minute he was fidgeting and asked to go play in the kids area. Elly shooed him off and Benny was off like a bolt. I watched him go, carefully hid my feet under the table, then picked up the menu. A wave of anxiety splashed over me. The menu made no sense to me. I recognized the letters but the system of putting them together seemed insanely complicated. It was like looking at a foreign language. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, then tried again. It was no good. I just could not read it.

“Anything wrong Eric?” Elly asked with concern.

“No,” I lied. “I just dunno what I want.”

“Well, I think I know you pretty well dear. I’ll order you something.”

“Thanks,” I agreed, putting the menu away and trying to calm down.

“Could you go check on Benny dear?” Elly aksed.

“Okay,” I agreed, wanting to get my mind off the reading problem.

I stood up and walked across the restaurant. The floor was actually quite comfy under my feet. It was nicer being barefoot actually. It was just so unfair that only little kids got the pleasure of running around like that. I was kind of glad Elly let me do it too, even though I was so much bigger than Benny or the other silly kids who’s bare feet I could see swinging back and forth under their seats.

The play area was near the back of the restaurant. It was actually a really impressive structure with ball pits, monkey bars, tube slides and climbing walls. It was so impressive in fact, I actually felt pretty jealous of the little kids getting to play in it. The oldest in there, aside from Benny, seemed to be ten or eleven. Most were younger than that. Benny looked like he was having fun anyway. He came sliding down the tube into the ball pit and made a huge ruckus, with balls flying all over. The other kids laughed their heads off.

“You pwayin’?” a high little voice asked.

I looked over to see a tiny little girl of four or five standing next to me by the entrance.

“What?”

“You goin’ in? Gonna pway?” she asked.

Why would she think I could be going in to play? It was clearly for kids only, save for Benny. “It’s for kids,” I told her.

She looked confused and I saw her eyes drop down to my feet, then sweep back up. “You not a big kid?” she asked.

Little kids have a very poor sense of age. Standing there in bare feet she evidently thought I was a big twelve year old or something. And then I thought, why not. It looked fun. The little kids weren’t judging me for my outfit like the adults were. My cartoon shirt and lack of shoes just identified me as one of them. It was time to have some fun!

“Yeah, I am,” I agreed. “I’m a real big kid. But I wanna play too.”

Now she smiled. “Well c’mon!”

And with that she scurried into the play area and I hopped in after her. In fact the place was awesome. The slides, the balls, the climbing wall. I burnt off so much pent up frustration and energy in there, it was so cool. I even wrestled with Benny in the ball pit. In fact I only stopped when Elly called Benny and I over because our meals were ready. She’d gotten me a hamburger, no onions, just the way I liked it. Then she bought me a sundae with a cone head and M&M eyes for dessert. At the end of the meal I realized I couldn’t pay for my portion. I didn’t even think to bring my wallet. In fact I had no idea where it even was. But Elly assured me it was fine, it was her treat. I really did love her.

**

When we arrived home the first thing I needed to know was what had happened to my wallet. That had all my important grown-up stuff in it after all. It proved that I was a man, even if I sometimes went to restaurants barefoot and wore superhero t-shirts.

Elly, where my stuff?” I asked her.

“Oh it’s still wet darling, I’ll get it for you in the morning.”

“But my wallet in my pants,” I told her.

“Well you don’t need that here honey. Don’t worry about it.”

“But… but I think I need to go home,” I explained. I liked staying with Elly but I needed to go clear my head. The incident with the menu kept coming back to me and making me worried.

Elly just shook her head dismissively. “No, you can’t go home now Eric. We’re having so much fun here.”

“I… I know, but I just gotta go,” I tried to argue, unable to think of any believable excuse.

Elly wasn’t giving in though. She gave me a sympathetic look as she said, “I’m sorry Eric, but I don’t think it would be good for you to be alone right now.”

“What? Why?”

“Sweetie, you’re not feeling quite right, are you? In your head I mean.”

I swallowed hard. “What you mean?”

“Oh honey, haven’t you noticed your speaking has become a bit simpler. I know you had trouble with the menu earlier tonight. Can you still read darling?”

She said it so sweetly, like it was nothing serious, my sudden inability to read. How could she be so calm about it?

“You know ‘bout that?” I asked, feeling very embarrassed.

She nodded. “You’ve been acting a bit funny ever since you arrived dear. I think you’re feeling jealous of Benny, of the attention he gets from me, the freedom he enjoys.”

“Freedom?”

“From grown-up worries.”

“I’m not like Benny,” I insisted once again, pouting, fearing that it was becoming less and less true.

“I’m not saying you are dear. But you’re acting a bit like him sweetie. I don’t think you’re doing in on purpose dear. It’s something subconscious, something you can’t help.”

“That’s silly. I don’ wanna be a dumb baby.”

“Benny isn’t a dumb baby, Eric. He’s a sweet little boy. I know is lifestyle must be attractive to you. So little stress, so few worries. He’s cared for and loved unconditionally. I don’t blame you for being jealous.”

Now I found my pout had become a scowl. Elly was wrong! I wasn’t jealous of the stupid baby man!

“No Elly, I like being a man!” I insisted.

“Are you really sure about that dear?” she asked, sounding very unconvinced. “You’ve certainly seemed to enjoy being a little boy, at least from what I’ve seen. You liked your jammies, your cuddly sleep-over with Benny. You had a lot of fun on the swings and the trike and in the play place at Pasta Pete’s. You even went out to eat in your bare feet.”

“You made me do that! You tooked my shoes.”

“No honey, remember, you didn’t come here with any. Remember, you looked around and there were none here for you.”

I wanted to shake my head again, but she was right. I couldn’t really recall if I had them for not. And it had been fun playing. I’d been enjoying Benny’s toys and games more than I should have. What was wrong with me?! The realization of how I’d been behaving was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

“There, there, it’s okay,” Elly assured, pulling me into another cuddle. “I’m here to take care of you while you work through all these issues. You just shouldn’t be alone right now. Could you imagine driving a car?”

The idea was terrifying. I could picture the steering wheel and pedals, but the mechanics of how to use them escaped me. I shook my head.

“No, of course not. You just stay right here with me and you’ll be nice and safe. And I promise we’ll have lots more fun too.”

I pulled back from her arms. “I don’ wanna act stupid Elly. You gotta help me be a man, ‘kay?”

“Hmm, I don’t know about that Eric. I think the stress of being a man is what’s pushed you into this state. I think it’s best you stop fighting it, just relax and enjoy the trip. Once you get this out of your system you’ll be right as rain.”

“You… you wan’ me to act little?” I asked, feeling confused. How could that possibly help?

But she nodded. “Exactly dear. Just do what Benny does, let yourself have some fun. I promise by the end of the weekend you’ll be good as gold.”

It didn’t seem like a good plan, but then who was I to be thinking up complex plans. My mind was a fuzzy mess. I trusted Elly to do the thinking for both of us.

“Okay Elly,” I agreed.

“Good boy,” she praised, actually patting my cheek. “Let’s go watch a movie to get your mind off this silliness.”

**

The movie she chose was Disney’s Cars. I wasn’t asked if I liked it. Apparently I no longer got a say in such matters. Benny was already sitting on the floor, sucking his thumb and twiddling his toes, still dressed in his shortalls. I plopped down on the couch, waiting while Elly started the DVD. She turned and noticed where I’d sat.

“Honey, could you sit on the floor with Benny please.”

I did as I was told, trying to do what she said, go with the flow. It still felt like a major demotion, sitting on the floor like a kid. To my surprise Elly didn’t sit on the couch anyway, she left us to watch the movie by ourselves. It wasn’t a very bad movie anyway. In fact it was pretty darned good one. I found myself laughing out loud at the jokes and really getting drawn in. Soon there was the movie and nothing else as far as I was concerned.

“Cars is fun!”

Benny’s announcement snapped me out of my reverie. He was hopping on his butt, beaming at the screen. My face felt funny. And I realized I was smiling too, grinning ear to ear so hard my cheeks hurt. How could a movie make me feel so happy? I just wanted to hop up and down on my bottom like Benny. I looked down at my legs extended before me, then at my feet. I wiggled my toes. That felt delightful. It was funny how they moved back and forth.

“I got Cars, see,” Benny declared, breaking my focus again. I looked over to see him pulling down the bib of his overalls to show the red Cars decal on the front of his yellow t-shirt. I couldn’t help but smile at the happy Car on his shirt. It was such a cool movie! I wish I had a Cars shirt too. And then I remember I got something even better.

“I got Cars undies!” I tell Benny, standing up and pulling down my shorts to show him.

Benny looks up and nods. “Cars!” he says, pointing.

“Sounds like a couple boys are having fun in here,” Elly comments as she walks into the room.

I spin around so I can show her too, holding up my t-shirt to give her a better view.

“I got Cars undies mummy!” I shout.

Elly smiles but I feel funny about what I said. Did I call her mummy? That wasn’t right was it? Before I can think on it more she’s at my side, admiring my underoos.

“I see that Eric, those are very nice big boy undies!”

That’s right, I am wearing big boy undies because I’m a big boy, not a dumb baby like Benny.

“Big boy!” I shout.

“Yep, Mummy’s big boy,” Elly confirms. Just as I start to think there’s something wrong with that again she reaches over and tickles the tummy I’ve exposed. I giggle and pull away but she follows me down to the floor, her tickling fingers everywhere.

“’top it mummy!” I shout, still giggling.

But her fingers aren’t stopping and it feels so good anyway, until there’s a strange warmth around my crotch, running down along my thighs.

“Uh-oh!” Benny declares, the first one to notice something is wrong.

I wonder why he’s pointing at me, until he says, “Him tinkle!”

Tinkle? No silly, I’m getting tickles. I want to correct him, but mummy has stopped. She’s also looking down at my undies. I look too and see that the red Cars decals have turned darker and there’s a damp spot on the carpet beneath me. It takes a moment to process what I’m seeing and then it clicks. I’ve had an accident. A pee-pee accident.

“Oh Eric, I’m sorry sweetie,” mummy apologizes.

“I… I didn’t…” I stuttered.

Mummy took my hand and helped me stand up. I could feel the liquid rolling down my legs now, the heaviness in the undies I was only just so proud of a moment ago. They’d proved I was a big boy, mummy had said so. Now their sogginess seemed to prove the opposite.

“Let’s get you in some dry undies honey.”

I sniffled, my emotions beginning to out of control again. I couldn’t have wet myself, I just couldn’t. But I had. I let her lead me by the hand, tears dripping down my cheeks, going into the bathroom. She slipped the wet undies down my legs, they were sticky and tough to get off now. I felt more humiliated than I’d ever been in my life. I gripped my exposed penis to preserve a shred of my dignity. It seemed a pointless gesture nonetheless. She gave me a towel to dry myself, then cuddled me close and let me dry my tears on her shirt.

“Feeling a bit better?” she asked at last.

“Mmmhmm,” I mumbled.

“Okay. Honey, I think you’re having some trouble telling when you need to go potty, aren’t you?”

“No, I go potty,” I assured her, part of me wondering if that was the right word to use.

“I know you’re not a baby honey. But right now, you’re having trouble thinking like a big boy, aren’t you?”

I nodded sadly.

“So I think we need to try something different. You can have your big boy undies back when you feel a bit clearer. Until then, we can try these,” she said, holding up a pair of blue absorbent underwear that I immediately recognized as pull-ups.

I shook my head, backing away from them as though they might bite. I wanted to explain to her that I didn’t need those, that it was just the tickling. I wanted to tell her how confusing this all was, that I was really a big boy. But all I could think to say was, “Not baby! Not baby!”

She shushed me and assured, “These aren’t for babies darling. They’re for big boys who aren’t quite ready for the big person potty. They aren’t diapers honey. They’re training pants.”

“No, don’ wan’ ‘em!” I shouted, pushing them away with my free hand.

“I know honey, I know it’s upsetting. If you don’t want to wear them I won’t force you. Benny finds it much easier to know when he has to potty when he’s not wearing anything on his bum-bum. We can see if that works for you too. Would you like to go bare-bottomed honey?”

That was even worse! The very idea of it repulsed me. She couldn’t really think I wanted to run around this house showing off my package to her and Benny.

“No!” I screeched.

“I don’t mind sweetie. If you’d be more comfortable I’m sure Benny would be happy to take his clothes off and go nakie too.”

“No nakie! I big boy!” I tried to explain, finding so many words suddenly missing.

Mummy relented. “Okay then. You don’t have to go nakie honey. But if you don’t want pull-ups you’ll have to get in your jammies now.”

My jammies! That was the perfect answer. “Jammies mummy! Get my jammies!”

Mummy seemed happy with my reaction. She returned a moment later with my soft blue jammies and helped me into them.

I felt so much better when I returned to the living room. My jammies caressed my skin and this felt so much better than my day outfit. Benny was still playing on the floor, carefully avoiding the wet patch I’d left in the middle of the carpet. I settled back on the floor beside him. That felt right to me now. Good boys played on the floor, they didn’t mess up the expensive couch with their dirty feet and tinkle accidents.

Benny looked over at me as I picked up Percy, the little green Thomas train. “You carpet tinkler,” he said, giggling.

“No, mummy was ticklin’ me,” I insisted.

“Carpet tinkler! Carpet tinkler!” he repeated in a high mocking voice.

My emotions, only just settled down, were getting the best of me again. I couldn’t let the stupid baby make me cry. But I was going to. I wanted mummy to hug me and make the bad feelings go away again. And just like that, she was there, leaning over us and looking at Benny with a very cross expression.

“Benjamin, you stop that this instant,” she ordered sharply.

Benny’s smile was gone in an instant. His lips quivered and the young man looked like he might cry as well.

“We don’t use names like that,” she warned him. “Now say you’re sorry to Eric.”

Benny pouted and sniffled for second, then he looked down at the floor, in my general direction and said, “Sowwy Ewic.”

“Okay, that’s better,” Mummy said. “Now play nice you two.”

Benny and I played alongside one another but didn’t really speak much after that. It wasn’t too long before I grew very sleepy and mummy took me off to bed without even giving me a bath. I was very tired and barely managed to stay awake while she read me my goodnight story. It was from a big picture book and I could see the words, but couldn’t read them. That didn’t really bother me though, mummy was doing a good job with all the voices anyway and she even let me turn the pages. Afterwards she kissed me night-nights and I was out like a light, to the lovely lilting flute music.

**

I awoke to find the room much clearer in the morning light. But that wasn’t all that felt clearer. My head seemed a bit less foggy as well. The events of the previous day ran through my mind as I lay there in my bed. The accident, the way Elly had treated me, the way I’d been calling her mummy, even thinking of her as my mum. What the hell was wrong with me? I cringed when I recalled the way I’d gone to sleep last night, letting her tuck me in and read to me like a simpleton. And yet, right now, my penis was as stiff as a rod. I could feel the horniness overwhelming me.

I tried to focus my mind, keep it sharp, keep from slipping back into the idiocy of yesterday. I thought of my multiplication tables. Two times two was…. I was drawing a blank. My penis pulsed instantly. How did multiplication work? I tried to recall, to think of the skills learnt in primary school. I couldn’t think of a thing about it. My body twitched with arousal, my stiffy jerked up a notch, tenting the sheet. Being dumb was so arousing, being dumb felt so, so good. I should just let go and enjoy it, let my mind turn to mush and just ride the wave of ecstasy into blissful idiocy.

No! Why was I thinking such things? I had to keep my mind away from those dangerous thoughts. I pictured my car. It was a cool car. I’d bought it earlier this year. What kind of car was it? Something from Japan. What was a Japan? This wasn’t working. I had to think about cars. I like Cars. I like them on my undies. They were big boy undies. I’m not wearing undies now. Just my jammies. They’re so soft and my thingy is so hard. I should just rub it, grind it up and down, up and down and make a big, big sticky quirt and let me brain just melt away. Just let it melt away and be so dumb, be so empty headed and silly. It would feel soo good to rub and rub and make it all go bye-bye!

I force the thoughts from my mind. There’s something very wrong with me, but what’s causing it? I think back to yesterday, to sharing the bed with Benny. I remember the rubs, the sticky squirts in the jammies and my mind getting fuzzier after each one. It makes me think of something I read once. It’s like a eureka moment. The jammies! It’s always been the jammies.

I throw back the covers and grab the zipper. It won’t give way. They’re stuck on me and I’m sure they’re the culprit. Right now something magical in the material is soaking into my skin, warping my mind, making me so horny, making me a stupid baby. I climb out of bed and stand up. The carpet under my feet is as soft and lovely as the jammies. Being barefoot is so nice, so free and fun. I’m such a silly barefoot boy.

The jammies, focus on the stupid things, forget the carpet, get the zipper down. Pull at it, tug at it, get it down, get the things off. How long do I have before my mind is mush? How long before the changes are irreversible? I can feel my arousal growing by the second, see the tent in my jammies bobbing about as I tug, coaxing me to abandon the zipper, grab the bulge instead and tug and pull at it instead, tug and stroke and make all these worries float away forever.

Suddenly the zipper gives way, the bit of material caught in it breaking off. I yank it all the way down and strip the jammies off, kicking them away. My huge stiffy is still there, but the offending jammies are off. I’m safe!

I head to the dresser, looking for something to cover my nudity before Benny wakes up and sees me this way or Elly enters the room. The Cars underoos are gone. All that fills the undies drawer are pull-ups. I search for anything else but in the end I decide they’re better than nothing. I grab a star-covered pair out and slip them up. They barely fit over my raging erection but in the end they pull tight over it, though still showing my obvious bulge. I’m about to look for a t-shirt to wear when I remember that Elly put my clothes downstairs in the laundry. Forget the kiddy stuff, I wanted them.

I sneak out the door and see the hallway is empty. Hopefully Elly is still asleep. I tip-toe along the hall, entering the living room. It’s still dark in here. Elly must be asleep. I start across it, and the light flips on.

“Well, aren’t we up early?”

I turn to face Elly, smiling at me from the doorway.

“I know what you doin’ to me,” I told her.

“What do you mean honey?” she asked innocently.

“You makin’ me dumb, like Benny. I don’ wanna be your stupid baby!”

Elly’s smile never faltered. “Good job darling. I’m glad you had the chance to use your brain one last time before it turns to baby mush.”

I smiled triumphantly now. “Nuh-uh! I took jammies off!” I shouted, sticking out my tongue at the mean lady.

Elly stared at me for a long moment. Was that a look of defeat? Was she trying to decide how to get me back in the jammies?

She burst out laughing. I couldn’t see what was funny about me beating her.

“Oh honey, I think you’ve been reading too many stories,” she said, chuckling. “It’s so sweet that you’re childish imagination has gotten so good dear. But honey, magic jammies? Where do you think you are, Parkdale?”

I stared at Elly in disbelief. Did she say what I thought she did? How could she know? She seemed to read my mind when she said, “Did you think that was your little secret dear? Well if that’s the case you really should have been more careful about visiting certain websites on an unsecured wireless network. Anyone sitting nearby in a car with the right equipment and motivation can see, well, everything.”

“You… you… watch me?”

She nodded. “Not just you honey. I was looking for a boy who’d be receptive. Hypnosis only works if you want it to.”

“Hypnosis?”

“Yes honey. No magic, no secret technology, just plain simple hypnosis augmented with visual and auditory subliminal messages.”

“That not work Elly! It not work!”

She shook her head. “Silly boy, you’ve already seen the proof it works. Benny boy was once a big smart man like you were. He liked to go to the same sites you visit. I found him just the same and I made him just what you see today.”

Now I was feeling worried. If I’d escaped the jammies why wasn’t I feeling clearer? Why was my vocabulary so small, my thoughts so limited? Was she telling the truth?

“I know this is confusing to you dear. You’ve been very receptive to the programme. You’ve worked so, so hard to repress all those secret sexual desires of yours, to hide them from the world, even to hide them from yourself. I think that’s what’s helped make your programming so much more effective in fact. I’m setting you free darling, giving you permission to enjoy the forbidden fruit, to revel in your regression, to cast off your inhibitions and be the silly little tyke you’ve always wanted to be. Your mind is already a bit slow. It won’t be long now and it will be all done and you’ll be so much happier.”

“But… but I squirt in the jammies…” I stammered.

“You squirted dear. The jammies weren’t important, except they were soft and felt nice on that big happy pee-pee. Making stickies is your trigger dear and one more time is all it will take. There’s no point holding it in, you’re only going to grow more and more aroused until you make a nice big sticky for me. It’s going to be quite the experience for you Eric, getting that rush and losing all your tricky big boy thoughts at the same time. Why don’t you just be done with it now? Just slip your hand in those pull-ups and have a nice play and make everything you’ve ever cared about go bye-bye.”

I shook my head. “I don’t wanna be dumb like Benny! I tell you that!”

“Oh honey, you won’t be little like Benny,” she assured.

“I won’t?”

“No, you’ll be much littler than him. That’s why you’re here. Benny needs a little brother to play with. He’s been asking for one for months.”

“Littler!”

“Yes Eric. You’ll be a nice, cheerful little toddler, a bit under two years old. The difference between two and three is pretty big you know.”

“That not happen!”

“Honey, you’ve been so cooperative so far. Don’t you recall the visits to my office? The sessions with your chin resting on your chest, nice and deep for me, nodding slightly and murmuring pleasantly as I told you how lovely it would feel to let your head go nice and empty for me, to be a sweet baby boy for me.”

As she spoke the memories came to me in a rush. How could I forget the visits to her office, the swirling colours on the screen she showed me, the sense of peace as my head slumped forward and I listened to her voice?

“Yes, you remember now. What you don’t remember is the subliminal messages buried in your music, in the videos, flashing at you as you browsed the web on your laptop. All of them bringing you right here.”

I focused my mind on speaking clearly. I had to reason with her. “Elly, I don’ want this anymore. I don’ wanna be little like in da stories. I jus’ wanna be grown up again.”

“That’s what you tell yourself dear. But I’ve talked to you in the trance state, I know the real you. And what you really want, deep down, is to be just like Benny. You want the people at the restaurant to see you walk in barefoot and know instantly that you’re just a little boy. I’ve seen you peaking at Benny as he walks and crawls about. You want your feet to be just as tough, just as dirty on the bottoms so everyone can see what a messy, feral little rascal you are.

“You want to know what it feels like to have a free dangling pee-pee to show off to everyone. What it’s like to have no shame at all, not even an inkling of decency, of body modesty. You want to wet your undies and tinkle on the carpet and the grass in front of me, in front of my friends. You want to be my sweet little tot, totally dependent on me for your every need. You’re so excited to have your adult intellect drained from your mind, to lose every last inhibition, that pull-up can barely contain your happy pee-pee.”

I shook my head violently, pouting. “No! Tha’s not right!”

“Shh sweetie, use your inside voice,” she chided. “There’s no reason to get so upset. I have a lovely life planned for you. You’ll have lots of toys. And I have some sweet outfits for you to wear out. Overalls and teddy bear t-shirts, and this little number to keep you from wandering off,” she explained sweetly, holding up a strange blue device that I suddenly recognized as a child leash.

She could see the anger and fear in my eyes, but she wasn’t deterred in the slightest. She put the kiddy leash down and shrugged. “I’m sorry if you don’t like the sound of your outfits. I know little ones don’t really like getting dressed at all. So you can rest easy knowing the only outfit you’ll be wearing at home is your birthday suit.”

“Not gonna go nakie,” I insisted, crossing my arms across my bare chest.

“I’m not going to force you to do a thing darling. I’ll just give you the choice and I can assure you that it will be you pulling off your pull-ups and strutting around the house bare bummed. It’s what you want honey.”

She couldn’t be right. I couldn’t believe she was right. Yes I read the stories, I visited all the websites. But in real life I couldn’t really want this, could I? She was looking at me so expectantly, like I might really just start jerking off right in front of her after that little speech. How could she expect me to just do that?

But then she seemed to realize I wasn’t going to be that submissive. She started to move closer, her hand reaching towards my pull-up. “Come here darling, let’s get this over with so you can have a lovely playtime with Benny before we go to the library for mummy and baby story time,” she coaxed.

I took a quick step back, pulling away from her reach. And yet my penis was twitching again, yearning for release, urging me to slip into her arms and let her gentle touch take it all away. I couldn’t stay here. I turned and left the room quickly, not looking back. Hurrying down the hallway, back to the bedroom where I could put on clothes, any clothes, and then leave. Every step threatened to put me over the edge. It wasn’t magic, it wouldn’t work I told myself. But I just wasn’t sure.

I entered the door and smacked right straight into Benny. My penis rubbed hard against the pull-up, the head slipping over the waist. “Ugh” I grunted in pleasure.

Benny was naked again, his pyjamas abandoned on the floor next to mine. How could I possibly be even dumber than him? Looking at the naked vacant-eyed man I just couldn’t imagine actually being his little brother. But the very thought of it made the pull-ups threaten to burst, and that scared me most of all.

He looked me over and frowned. “Not nakie,” he said, as though he’d expected me to be, even though I’d never done such a thing in front of him.

“Benny,” I gasped, body quivering as the endorphins released by our impact coursed through me. “I need your help. Mummy is bad Benny. She hurtin’ you ‘nd me. We gotta ‘scape right now!”

Benny was still frowning. “You big boy,” he stated, sounding a bit annoyed in fact.

“Yes. I’m big, Benny. I smart and you gotta listen to me. We gotta go.”

Benny seemed to ponder this a second. Then he looked down at my pull-up and smiled. “You pee-pee awll happy. You need stickies.”

“No Benny…” I began.

Before I could say another word I felt it, my pull-up being pushed down suddenly, dropping to my ankles and exposing my whole pulsing pee-pee. He’d mover faster than I’d expected, ripping the pull-up off with the expertise and strength of a giant toddler who loved being nakie. Benny’s fingers brushed across the suddenly exposed member a split second later. His fingers were wet already and I knew he’d been sucking on them again. My mind lit with pleasure.

“Gotta make stickies ‘n get widdle,” he told me.

I stepped back sharply, stumbling out into the hallway again. Benny followed me out. I looked down at my stiffy, and beyond it to my toes. I wiggled them in the carpet. It was so, so nice. Benny was next to me before I knew it and I felt his hand slip around my stiffy again. Nerves tingled and shot pleasure to my brain. I shook with elation and I knew I couldn’t fight it. It was bliss.

“Widdle bwotha,” Benny cooed. He knew exactly what he was doing. I knew it too now. I had to run, to escape. But it was too good, my body was betraying me.

I looked up and saw that Elly was there too, grinning and putting her hand on my shoulder.

“That’s it baby, it feels so nice doesn’t it?” she asked gently.

“Uh-huh,” I mumbled, lost in the pleasure.

“Time to make your stickies, time to let it all go bye-bye,” her voice cooed.

I looked into her eyes and saw that she was enjoying this. I didn’t want her to be right. This couldn’t be real. Hypnosis only works if you want it to. I couldn’t really want this. I just had to have the mental strength to fight it. But I couldn’t think now, my mind was overwhelmed by the endorphins pumping through it and the edge was coming closer and closer.

“Ohh!” I sighed as the pleasure erupted and warm goo blasted onto my tummy.

With each contraction I felt a throb in my head, a deep, deep tingle as ideas and memories blurred. I knew it was real. I knew it would work now and because I was certain, it would work. I was losing myself, losing everything it meant to be me, to be a grown man, a smart, educated and independent person. The world was shrinking around me, losing meaning, growing complex and unknowable. So many years of education were being wiped away, years of striving for A grades, years of memorizing data wiped away in seconds. Elly was still grinning at me. My eyes must be going glassy right now, all vacant like Benny’s. It was so tricky to think about things. It’s happening so quickly all of a sudden, everything slowing and the thoughts just… just…

The contractions are slowing down and I feel so silly, so warm and sticky. What a lovely sensation it is. The pretty lady is smiling at me. She has a nice smile. I smile back at her.

“Feeling better honey bun?” she asks.

I look down at my tummy. There’s goo all over it.

“Sticky,” I tell the woman.

“Is Eric all sticky for mummy?” she asks gently.

I nod. Mummy is so silly. I wonder what the goo is. Maybe I spilled ice cream. I like ice cream. But that’s cold, not warm. And it on my pee-pee too. My pee-pee getting littler, softer. It dropping back down ‘tween by legs. I scoop some of the sticky on my finger and put it in my mouth to taste.

“Icky!” I pout, sticking out my tongue.

Mummy smiles and chuckles at my disgust. “Come on sweetie, let’s clean you up,” she says, taking my hand and leading me to the bathroom.

Mummy turns on the light and I can see someone staring back at me. For a second it scares me, but then I remember how a mirror works. I want mummy to see too.

“Da’s me mummy!” I tell her, pointing at my reflection.

“Yes, honey, I see that,” she replies.

I like looking at myself in the mirror. I stick out my tongue and blow raspberries. Making faces is fun.

“Oop, I need to get a washcloth. Honey, stay right here and don’t touch anything.”

I nod and watch mummy go. I shouldn’t touch stuff. But my feets are touching the floor! I got bare feets, so I can’t stop touching stuff. Silly mummy. I climb up on the big person potty so I not touching the floor. It’s fun being up high. I can reach the ceiling. I jump onto the floor again and my pee-pee flap against my tummy. There’s a thing on wall that looks interesting. It’s round and white. I slap it with my hand and paper unrolls from it and hangs to the floor. That’s amazing! I slap it again and again and watch it slide across the floor.

I sit down on my bum-bum to play with the white stuff. The floor is chilly on my bum. I’m not wearing undies. I’m a nakie boy right now. I pull at the white stuff more and it drapes itself over my legs and around my arms. I spin around and more wraps around me until it runs out. Just them mummy comes back in the room and gasps.

“Eric, look at the mess you’ve made,” she declares.

I dunno what she means. I point at the wall thing where the white stuff was and tell her, “All gone.”

She shakes her head and giggles then kneels next to me and takes all the white stuff off so I can be nakie again.

“You’re a messy little boy, aren’t you Eric?” she says as she piles the white stuff in the bin and kisses my cheek.

I know it must be good to be messy since she’s kissing me and her voice is happy. So I nod and say, “Messy boy!”

“Yes, I think you’re my best subject yet,” she says. “All you men are so easy to manipulate. All it takes is a little tweaking of your favourite toy,” she explained, tapping the head of my little dangling pee-pee as she spoke. “All you had to do was walk away and it would have been over. But you just couldn’t resist, couldn’t think with your brain instead of your cock. So now,” she chuckled, “you won’t have to make that choice anymore. Not now that your brain is nothing but toddler mush. Now little boy, you’re all mine.”

It’s hard to follow mummy’s words. But she says them in a high, pretty voice that makes me feel nice. And in any case I’m far too busy playing with my wiggly toesies to worry about big grown-up things. I thread my tongue between two of the tootsies crammed between my lips, staring up at the beautiful woman who is my protector, who provides for my every need and I just know that nothing bad could ever possibly happen to me.

 

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