The Chronathalon

Chapter 1
The Chronathalon

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Chapter Description: A group of women compete in an olympic event that will age them 35 years at the end of each lap. Young Woman to Middle-Age and Old Woman AP as well as brief AB AP

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The camera pans across a group of young women standing at a starting line dressed in sports bras and bikini bottoms in the colors of their countries flags. All of them are fresh faced and looking at the course in front of them with intensity and a bit of trepidation.

ANNOUNCER 1 (BOB): “Welcome to the Olympics first ever Women’s Chronathalon!”

ANNOUNCER 2 (TERRI): “It’s so exciting to see a new sport get its debut isn’t it Bob?”

BOB: “It sure is Terri. But judging from the nervous looks of some of these athletes it’s not just the thrill of getting the gold, in this inaugural competition, that’s on their minds.”

TERRI: “No Bob they are certainly contemplating what’s in store for them as they traverse this course over the next hour.”

BOB: “As you can see only 20 countries have athletes competing this year.”

TERRI: “It’s been very controversial Bob. With no real way to properly practice the event conditions, the Chronathalon has only attracted the most daring competitors.”

BOB: “Or the competitors who are able to put their vanity aside. I spoke to Belgium’s Jolien Van Acker, a 22 year old triathlon dynamo and she told me that no amount of glory or prestige would bring her onto this field today.”

TERRI: “Some of these athlete’s unfortunately didn’t have a choice. Their countries didn’t want to miss out on a chance to be the first winners in this new event.”

BOB: “And this is the first Olympiad for the majority of these girls.”

TERRI: “That’s right Bob. The average age of the competitors this year is 20 years old. In fact, only two competitors – Blair Campbell, age 26 from Australia and Airi Okyhara, age 28 from Japan – are over the age of 25. Everyone else on that field is 24 or under.

The camera zooms in on 26 year old Blair Campbell, a muscular, tom-boyish looking woman with chin length blonde hair and dimples. Her teal and yellow top hugs her large breasts above a rock hard stomach.

Then the camera pans over to 28 year old Airi Okyhara, a tall lithe woman with big eyes and full red lips. Her black hair is pulled into a pony tail. She has a wide smile as she looks straight ahead along the track giving her face a heart shaped look. Her outfit is white with a red sun in the center.

BOB: “Now why is that Terri?”

TERRI: “Strategy Bob. Japan has a longer life expectancy than most of these countries so their hope is that they can field and older athlete without it hurting them during the second and third portions of this race. Australia is fielding a multi-discipline star-athlete that’s heads and tails above the competition. In fact, if not for the unusual aspects of the last two thirds of the race Blair Campbell would be an easy favorite for the gold.”

BOB: “And the rest of the countries are just hoping this infusion of youth and inexperience ends up paying dividends after the first marker.”

TERRI: “That’s right Bob and there’s no better example of that strategy than the Ukraine. They are fielding Ganna Levchenko who just reached the tender age of 14 two weeks ago. If she places today she’ll go down as one of the youngest ever female Olympians to win a medal in a track event.”

BOB: “Or oldest depending on how you look at it…”

The camera zooms in on a waifish shy looking girl with brown hair pulled in a tight bun over her head. She has a gymnasts body and no curves to speak of, her light blue and yellow top puffs comically over her flat chest.

TERRI: “They gave her a uniform that is several sizes big for her. That’s smart but it will do her no favors in this first section.”

BOB: “A few of the women are wearing oversized tops and bottoms.”

TERRI: “Those are likely the competitors under the age of 18. Such as 16 year olds Bolgarka Karakas, from Hungary and Erika Sjostrom from Sweden and 17 year old Lissette Salinas of Ecuador.”

The camera pans over to a freckle-faced blonde girl with shoulder length hair, Erika. Her yellow bikini bottoms are synched at her boyish waist and her blue and yellow sports bra is puffing out over her A-cup breasts.

Similarly, a few places down from her, a fresh-faced brunette girl – Bolgarka - adjusts her oversized red and white top. She has an upturned nose and chipmunk cheeks making her look a bit younger than her 16 years.

Behind her a tall, tanned-skin girl with brown hair and blonde highlights stares intensely ahead. Her blue top appears to fit her C-cup breasts fine but her blue bottom is loose around Lissette’s teenage hips.

BOB: “So who do you like to win it all?”

TERRI: “There’s a lot of great choices and a lot of amazing potential on the field today. I’d have to start the conversation with 20 year old Anouk Sprunger of Switzerland. She’s already won a gold medal this summer and smoked competitors in her home country in just about every race she’s been in this year. Her country also has a high life expectancy and I mean just look at her. Doesn’t she just epitomize the look of a talented Olympic athlete?"

The camera zooms in on a beautiful statuesque Swiss woman with long light brown hair and big piercing blue eyes. She bites her pouty lip as she looks to the track and places her delicate hands on her toned bare waist.

BOB: “She sure does Terri. I’d have to say that Amber Sharpe the 21 year old from Great Britain will certainly give these other athletes a run for their money, especially later in the competition. Her grandmother competed in SEVEN Olympics from ages 20 to 44 and still competes semi-professionally now in her late 70s. I think Amber has the genes to make her dominant in this event.”

The camera zooms in on a pretty woman with long blonde hair tossed over one side of her face. She has dark eyebrows, rosy cheeks and a slight overbite. Her body is very curvaceous under her union jack outfit. She’s rubbing a last bit of suntan lotion onto her toned thighs and calves and the tops of her dainty feet.

TERRI: “Of course a lot of medal buzz around this event is centered on a trio of 18 year olds: Penny Bishop of Canada, Madison Coburn of the United States and Yulia Klishnokova of Russia. This is the first Olympic games for all three, and all three are rising stars in their home countries.”

The camera zooms in on two tall slender women standing side by side smiling and talking to one other. The brunette, Penny, has long brown hair in ringlets. Her big girlish smile brightens her face as she jokes with her friend and competitor and adjusts her oversized runners top around her B-cup breasts.

It looks like she’s tucking her supple lips around her teeth and squinting her eyes to do an impression of a confused old lady. The blonde woman she’s joking with, Madison, gives a hearty laugh causing her tight toned abs to flutter.

She responds jokingly by bending her long straight back and her long muscular legs into a hunch and mimes like she’s shuffling along in a walker. Her long golden hair is pulled into a pony tail behind her back and even pretending to hobble her long delicate arms and legs look graceful.

She stand up straight and the sun glistens on her smooth skin. Her red white and blue sports bra and bikini bottoms fit just right on her body as the letters USA stretch across her B-cup breasts. She points to her smooth feet with her toe nails also painted red, white and blue and says something to Penny to make the pretty brunette girl giggle.

BOB: “Of course only one of the three was part of a major Olympic scandal…”

TERRI: “Fair enough Bob. But the controversy over her nude spread in a certain magazine or the leaked sex tape do not seem to have fazed her.”

BOB: “Not even a little. In fact yesterday after she won the gold in her competition yesterday she said in an interview that she plans to film ANOTHER sex tape.”

TERRI: “Do we have that interview, yeah let’s show that interview.”

We cut to a small lounge area under a tent where a stunningly beautiful platinum blonde woman with piercing blue eyes sits on a comfy seat wearing a peach colored baby-doll gown.

YULIA: “I don’t know, maybe people want to see how Olympic gold medalist have sex. I’m bold. I do everything with all my might. Whether it be running, swimming, sexing, whatever and if people they want to watch me do it then who am I to deny them?”

Yulia purses her lips seductively at the camera and winks. We cut back to the field where Yulia, in a skintight red and blue sports bra and blue bikini bottoms is standing on the field stretching her long leg behind her head so that her barefoot almost touches her braided pigtails. She looks almost bored in her contemplation.

BOB: “Well Terri, you can’t argue with the results. I’ve just got to wonder how many of her fans that have watched that tape are purposely avoiding watching the competition today.”

TERRI: “To not ruin their ideal image of her you mean?”

BOB: “Yeah, I mean, not to generalize but Russian women do NOT age well.”

TERRI: “It’s hard to picture a body like that going bad.”

BOB: “I bet she’s thinking the same thing or else she wouldn’t be here today.”

TERRI: “Well we’ll see for ourselves in just a little bit.”

BOB: “Did you get a chance to look at that spread she had?”

TERRI: (clearing his throat) “Well it looks like places are being called.”

BOB: “Speaking of women I can’t imagine looking old, how about 23 year old Elodie Prevot of France. She looks like a younger, prettier Jennifer Garner.”

The camera zooms in on a stunning woman in a white and navy blue top with red bikini bottoms over her plump toned ass. Her long wavy auburn hair flows along her bare shoulders as she gets into place to start the race. Her piercing brown eyes and high cheek bones help give her a look of steely intensity. She parts her pouty lips to show a slight gap in her front teeth. This just adds to her runway model appearance. She hunches her upper body forward and relaxes her thighs as she’s gets ready to run.

TERRI: “She’s actually a full time fashion model who took time off this year from the runway circuit to compete.”

BOB: “Who’s the nervous girl next to her?”

TERRI: “That’s 22 year old Ellen Dijkema of the Netherlands. She does look very nervous doesn’t she? Well I suppose this is uncharted territory for all of these athletes…”

The camera pans to a petite but athletic looking brunette woman with shoulder length hair. She’s subconsciously fiddling with her orange and blue bikini bottom as she maintains her starting crouch. Her pretty face has a fearful look on it as she looks across the course.

The officiator begins the countdown and then fires the gun. The women all begin running barefoot down the track.

BOB: “And they’re off. I see Blair Campbell is taking an early lead followed by Elodie Prevot of France and 24 year old Federica Ferrari of Italy.”

The camera follows the group of three women as they break off from the rest of the group. Blair is bounding forward followed by Elodie with her rich mane of brown hair flowing behind her, and Federica who is a tan athletic looking woman with a short stylish reddish blonde haircut and tattoos on her arms, calves and right foot. Her clef chin is jutted forward in concentration adding a hardened look to her pretty face. Her green white and red top works hard to suppress her D-cup breasts from bouncing as she runs.

TERRI: “It’s no surprise to see some of the older competitors spring ahead right away. Blair’s best chance right now is to get a strong early lead in the first section because she has no idea how her body is going to hold up in the later portions of the race. Those few extra years she’s got on the rest of these girls plays to her benefit now but just a few years can make a HUGE difference at the end of this race.”

BOB: “Now might be a good time to explain the Chronathalon to viewers just tuning in.”

TERRI: “Absolutely Bob. This race consists of three sections, each section has a track portion and a swimming portion. The women are going to race down the track to the first pool and dive into the water and swim to the end of it and then climb out and run the second track, then dive into a second pool and swim to the end of that, climb out and run on a third track dive into a final pool and swim to the end and then climb up to the final stretch and run to the finish line.”

BOB: “Sounds simple enough!”

TERRI: “Well hold on a second Bob. The trick is that there are what we call ‘Chronal Barriers’ toward the end of each pool. So as these girls swim through the first pool they are going to age 35 years and come out as middle aged women on the other end. Then the barrier they pass through in the second pool is going to age them another 35 years – a whopping 70 years total – so that they will all be little old ladies in the third portion of the race and then the barrier in the final pool will revert them all to their original ages for the final portion of the race.”

BOB: “So now maybe folks can see why so many countries fielded teenagers in this event.”

TERRI: “Or why it’s so important for the athletes in their mid-20s to get a strong lead early on. Right now their bodies are in peak condition but toward the end of this, when they are in their mid-90s and their fellow competitors are only in their 80s, it’s going to be a huge disadvantage.”

BOB: “It looks like the US’s Coburn and Canada’s Bishop have edged the gap into the lead pack along with Prevot, Sprunger and Ferrari. Campbell’s still pretty far ahead and now 21 year old Anita Hamblin of New Zealand is pulling up with that front group.”

The camera zooms on a spunky looking dirty blonde woman in a blue top with red stars pulling into the group of girls ahead of her. Her hair is pulled into a pony tail and she’s smiling. She’s a bit shorter than many of them but her muscular arms and legs make up for her small frame.

TERRI: “Hamblin is actually studying gerontology at M.I.T. so in addition to the thrill of the competition this must be great first hand research for her.”

BOB: “I’d say so! Bringing up the rear we have 19 year old Ewa Cichoka of Poland and poor little Ganna Levchenko who looks to be struggling with her adult sized wardrobe.”

The camera zooms down to a blonde girl with sharp features and a long braided pony tail. She is running at a little more than a jog. She has dark eye shadow around her eyes as she stares down her thin pointed nose ahead of her. Her long arms and legs work together as a machine to move her forward at a steady pace. Her fair skin reflects the sunlight off her flat stomach.

Behind her, Ganna is struggling to run faster while holding her top against her chest with one hand and her bikini bottoms up around her waist with the other so that she doesn’t have a wardrobe malfunction on the track. Her tiny feet slap the mat of the track with each quick step as she tries to catch up.

TERRI: “Cichoka is an experiences mid distance runner so this is likely her pacing herself. Like we’ve been saying, no one is really sure of what’s going to happen later on in the race. She may be worried that if she exerts herself now her older body is not going to have enough energy to finish. You know the old saying – slow and steady wins the race!”

BOB: “Taking a page from the old tortoise huh? She’s going to look like a tortoise before this race is over.”

TERRI: “You know, I had a chance to speak to 20 year old Arianna Beck from Germany before the race and that was one of her biggest worries going into this. Here’s the clip.”

Cut to a pretty young German woman with curly blonde hair standing in front of an advertising wall with a microphone being held up to her. She has feline-like eyes and a big smile.

INTERVIEWER: “What sorts of concerns do you have competing in the Chronathalon tomorrow?”

ARIANNA: (Chuckling) “Mostly losing my looks! We should be allowed to compete with bags on our heads!”

INTERVIEWER: “Or masks?”

ARIANNA: “Exactly. My fiancé is going to be in the audience to support me. I don’t want him to know what he’s in for!”

Arianna giggles and gives a smile that says ‘oh well!’ The camera cuts back to the track as we see the pool right ahead. Blair Campbell reaches it and dives in.

BOB: “And we’ve got our first competitor in the water.”

TERRI: “This is her last chance to use her extra years to her advantage.”

BOB: “And before being well endowed becomes a huge disadvantage. You know, I see a few of these women are gifted in the breast department, you have Blair, Federica from Italy and of course 19 year old Barbara de Oliveira of Brazil. What are those? Double D’s? I mean curvy bodies don’t typically do women any favors in running and swimming events in general but what are they going to do when those babies are dangling to their knees?”

The camera pans down the track to a dark skinned brunette woman in a yellow and teal outfit and a perfectly hourglass figure. Her top is barely containing the large breast in front of her as they defy gravity and sway side to side under her chin. Her bubble butt is also peeking out from the seams of her bikini slowly turning it into a thong as she races down the track.

TERRI: “The chase group is in the water now. We’ve got Prevot, Coburn and Bishop followed by Ferrari, Sprunger and Hamblin and now Hwang Joo Jin the 20 year old from South Korea is in the water. She should catch up to them quickly since she’s primarily a swimmer."

The camera shows a tall Korean woman with shoulder length dark brown hair dive into the water and gracefully swim toward the group of women in front of her. Her perky features and lithe swimmers body give her the appearance of a girl in her mid-teens.

BOB: “It looks like Campbell’s about to pass through the first chronal barrier! This is exciting. Watching 35 years pass for these athletes in the blink of an eye.”

The camera zooms in closely on Blair Campbell as the fresh faced 26 year old continues to swim breast strokes through the water. She swims through an invisible field and as she does her short hair turns grey. Her pace immediately slows down and her body spreads a bit in the water.

She reaches the end of the pool and pulls herself out with great effort. The struggle on her face emphasizes the wrinkles that have appeared around her eyes, cheeks and mouth.

Where a pretty, athletic, tom-boyish young woman had entered the pool a now grey haired soccer-mom came out. The older Blair cuts her speed down to a brisk jog as she takes inventory of her now older body – her flabby wrinkled stomach, her droopier breasts and the loose skin of her arms.

TERRI: “And just like that Blair Campbell is 61 years old.”

BOB: “I think she looks pretty good for her age.”

TERRI: “She went from young enough to be your daughter to old enough to be your mother Bob.”

BOB: “But her body’s held up well for the extra 35 years!”

TERRI: “Here’s the rest of the chase group as they come to meet her in middle age.”

The camera pans to the group of girls ages 18 – 24 as they swim toward the invisible barrier. Elodie Prevot is the first one to breach the chronal barrier. The camera catches her head on as she passes through it.

Her face transforms from a smooth young beautiful face to the wrinkled sour face of a woman in her late 50s. Deep wrinkles appear around her eyes and her jaw line softens. Her pouty lips crinkle and thin a bit. She keeps her brunette hair with exception of some strands of grey here and there.

Right behind her is Hwang Joo Jin and Anouk Sprunger a pair of 20 year olds who find themselves age 55 at the end of the pool. Though the same age they aged very differently. Anouk’s hair became a mix of grey and brown and her body softened and wrinkled. She had the look of a demure older woman but definitely looked like a gal over 50. Her legs and arms lost their tone and her wrinkled belly pooched out a bit over her bikini bottoms.

Hwang Joo Jin on the other hand seemed to barely change. Bags formed under her eyes and a couple streaks of grey ran through her dark hair, she put on a little weight and a very slight double chin formed above her looser neck but other than that she could pass for a woman much younger than her mid-fifties.

Frederica had passed through the chronal barrier and found herself not only aged to 59 but an additional hundred and fifty nine pounds heavier. She entered the pool as an athletic coed and exited looking like a traditional fat Italian matron.

Her flabby arms struggled to pull her softer, rounder body out of the water. Her tattoos became stretched and distorted by added weight and stretchmarks. Her dirty blonde hair was now a blondish grey, still in its youthful style. The 300lbs woman plodded down the course, her big sagging breasts slapping against the rolls of her wrinkled belly as she wheezed and struggled forward.

BOB: “Ah that’s a shame. Do you think she had any idea that that’s what was in store for her in her late 50s?”

TERRI: “She had to have looked to the older women in her family and seen that extra pounds were a possibility. I think a lot of these women just thought that if they worked hard on perfecting their bodies in their teens and 20s that they wouldn’t have to worry about things like excessive weight gain later in life.”

BOB: “I bet all she’s thinking now is that maybe she’ll lose the weight again by adding another 35 years.”

TERRI: “It’s very possible! Look, here come Madison and Penny out of the water! Boy they sure don’t look like they just graduated high school anymore now do they?”

BOB: “They look like they should have some high school age kids of their own now Terri!”

Camera zooms to the edge of the pool as the 53 year old Penny and Madison climb out. Madison still had a full head of blonde hair but her face was in serious need of a lift as her cheeks and neck had softened into slight jowls. She had deep worry lines across her forehead and wrinkles around her eyes. Her stomach was still thin and toned but not the abs of a teenager, rather the softer firm stomach of an active middle-aged jogger.

Penny’s fresh perky face was gone, in its place was the face of an attractive, upbeat older woman, with thin wrinkled cheeks and crows feet. Her hair also remained mostly brown with some strands of grey along the sides. Her boobs grew a cup but sagged a bit in her top. Her stomach was also thin but wrinkled. The two older women briefly looked at one another and smirked as they exited the pool and then ran to catch up with the women ahead of them.

TERRI: “Yulia Klishnokova is *just* entering the first pool now.”

BOB: “That’s surprising isn’t it Terri? Think she’s hanging back because of second thoughts about getting older?”

TERRI: “No I think it’s strategy again. You can see she’s gunning for the end of the pool now that she’s in there. My thought is that she held back because she wanted to get a good look at what the first barrier did to her main competition. Now that she knows what she’s up against in the next lap she’s catching up!”

BOB: “Also in the water are Anita Hamblin of New Zealand; Ellen Dijkema of the Netherlands, Amber Sharpe of Great Britain and Airi Okuhara of Japan.”

TERRI: “Hamblin’s passing through the chronal barrier now.”

The camera zooms in on the 21 year old woman as she suddenly ages to 56 years of age. She remains small and spunky looking but with a head of grey hair in a pony tail and a wrinklier face, the air of youth she had moments ago was now replaced by that of an energetic grandma. She continues to smile a wrinkled smile as she swims to the end of the pool.

Behind her Ellen Dijkema swims toward the end of the pool. She hesitates right before the barrier and then swims through. There is a bunch of splashing in the pool. Anita Hamblin turns around to see what’s happening.

BOB: “There’s some commotion in the pool!”

TERRI: “It looks as though something happened when Ellen Dijkema passed through the chronal barrier. Hamblin seems to be coming back to assist her as well as Yulia Klishnokova and Amber Sharpe who are approaching the area now.”

BOB: “I don’t think Klishnokova is helping anyone. She’s blowing right by whatever is going on down there!”

The camera pans out as Yulia Klishnokova passes through the chronal barrier, it’s hard to see the detailed changes but she clearly doesn’t put on too much weight and it’s hard to make out the grey in her wet blonde hair.

The now middle-aged Russian woman jets to the edge of the pool and climbs out sprinting not giving a moment’s thought to the commotion behind her.

The camera zooms back to the pool to show 56 year old Anita Hamblin bringing an unconscious woman around the same age with long grey and brown hair and a wrinkled, tired face to the edge of the pool while 21 year old Amber Sharpe, on the other side of the chronal barrier is passing through to assist an unidentified naked woman in her 30s thrashing around in the pool.

As Amber Sharpe swims through she puts on a bit of weight and the blonde in her hair becomes duller. She moans at the added years placed on her body as she wades toward the panicking nude woman.

TERRI: “Sharpe appears to be with another woman… can you make out who that is?”

BOB: “Whoever that competitor is – she’s lost her top somehow! Hopefully we can get that pixilated or a black bar or something across her boobs there, for the kids at home.”

TERRI: “Wait that can’t be right. That woman looks younger that you Bob. Amber Sharpe down there helping her looks old enough to be her mother… but they are both on the other side of the first chronal barrier!”

BOB: “You think that she somehow got around it without aging? Maybe lost her clothes in the process?”

TERRI: “No that’s not possible… Oh my god! Look Ellen Dijkema is coming to and she’s reaching out for the unknown woman and can you make out what she’s saying?”

BOB: “It looks like she’s yelling ‘My baby’… that doesn’t make any sense. She must have hit her head pretty hard on the pool wall.”

TERRI: “No Bob, don’t you get it? Dijkema was pregnant when she passed through the chronal barrier. That woman IS her baby. She must have aged the 35 years as well!”

The camera zooms on the side of the pool as paramedics tend to the older semi-conscious Ellen Dijkema and her now 35 year old daughter who is laying on her flailing her arms and legs with little motor skill.

BOB: “But they check all competitors for pregnancy before they can qualify for the event. It’s absolutely forbidden for any woman even a few weeks pregnant to be a part of this competition.”

TERRI: “The baby must have been conceived after her examination.”

BOB: “So you’re saying that she conceived the baby this week at the games?”

TERRI: “These olympic competitors hook up with one another all the time in the Olympic village. That baby could have been conceived last night for all we know!”

BOB: “God, going from negative nine months to a full grown 34 year old woman in the blink of an eye!”

TERRI: “Hopefully the coordinators of the event can find a way to reverse this.”

BOB: “What are they going to do? Shove the girl back inside of Dijkema?”

TERRI: “Maybe they can just make her a baby again. I mean look at her right now – they can’t leave her with a 34 year old body!”

The camera zooms as the paramedics try to wrap the woman in a robe. The woman can’t stand on her own and keeps flopping onto her butt and crying. She reaches awkwardly for the paramedics face to feel in and drool drips down her mouth as she pees on the concrete.

BOB: “If she was conceived last night it’s highly possible her father is in the audience.”

TERRI: “What a heck of a way to find out you’re a dad.”

BOB: “With a daughter now likely older than you are!”

TERRI: “What a tragic, tragic mishap. We’ll keep the viewers updated on any news we get on Ellen Dijkema and her baby.”

The camera shows a paramedic lifting the infantile woman up and wrapping a sheet around her then bringing her over to the cot where Ellen Dijkema is laying. The now 57 year old woman bursts into tears as she wraps her weathered arms around the 34 year old who looks very similar to how Ellen looked moments ago. Tears stream down the mothers wrinkled face as her grown daughter gurgles and nuzzles her head into the older woman’s saggy chest.

BOB: “Getting back to the race – Airi Okuhara of Japan and Ariana Beck of Germany passed through the chronal barrier and are now out of the pool. I’d say out of all the woman who have passed through that first wave so far Okuhara has changed the least! I mean, she may have a grey hair here and there but what’s she supposed to be now? 63? If you told me she was 30 years old I’d believe it!”

TERRI: “The aging of Asian women is a stereotype for a reason Bob. She’s got great genes. It seems the choice to run her in the Chronathalon despite how much older than her competitors she is, was a smart one!”

BOB: “Now Beck on the other hand – I can see why she was so worried about her looks leading up to the event. I’ve never seen so many wrinkles on a 55 year old before. She’s almost a decade younger than Airi and yet she looks like she could be Okuhara’s mother-in-law! In fact – she looks a lot like MY mother-in-law and she’s 73!”

TERRI: “Now Bob be nice… but she does have quite a few worry lines. A few wrinkles aren’t stopping her from gaining on the chase group though, so I’d say she doesn’t have a lot to be worried about at the moment.”

The camera zooms in front of Airi Okuhara and Ariana Beck as they run swiftly to catch up with the leading women. Airi does look barely older than she was when she started the race. A few distinguished lines around her eyes and tiny creases framing her mouth and a few strands of grey in her black hair but she maintains her tall, thin, athletic body.

Ariana Beck has kept her curly blonde locks into her 50s but they now frame a massively wrinkled face. Her mouth is crinkled into a sour frown and her cheeks and forehead are marred by dozens of criss-crossing crevasses. Her body, though flabbier and married by age spots speckling her arms, shoulders, chest and stomach, still has some muscle to it. She now has the appearance of an active grandmother who has spent too many days running in the sun.

BOB: “The rest of the pack is approaching the first Chronal Barrier.”

TERRI: “Leading the group is Carolina Valentin of Spain, age 23.”

BOB: “For about another four seconds at least.”

The camera zooms onto a side profile of the barrier as a pretty, light tan skinned woman with dark hair pulled into a tight top knot swims toward it. She’s wearing dark eye liner and bright red lipstick.

TERRI: “Now Valentin is another competitor with more of a gymnasts body as opposed to the classic runners or swimmers bodies you would think would prove the best in a competition like this. Let’s see if her lithe form gives her an advantage.”

Carolina Valentin passes through the barrier and comes out 58 years old on the other side. Her hair goes instantly grey and her chin line and neck seem looser. As she swims to the end of the pool and climbs out her breasts have clearly grown a bit and slope down toward her belly as her formerly thin flat stomach has spread out. Her ass also expands making her appear a bit pear shaped. She’s still a very beautiful woman for her age, her striking water-proof make-up looks a bit daring on the now matronly woman, but her days on the balance beam are long behind her as she swiftly jogs down the track.

BOB: “It does not appear to Terri.”

TERRI: “Here come Barbara de Oliveira and Lissette Salinas out of the pool. The two competitors from South America are now 54 and 52 years old respectively.”

BOB: “Ooo it looks like Barbara’s curvy figure has done her no favors.”

TERRI: “And Salinas looks like a completely different woman!”

The camera zooms as the two woman pull themselves out of the pool. Barbara de Oliveira seriously struggles with this task as the 35 years she’s just added have also plumped her up quite a bit. Her formerly hourglass figure has filled out and softened. The middle-aged Brazilian woman finally managed to flop up onto the track and stand up with great effort. Her formerly gravity defying curves were now doing their best to droop toward her feet. She felt the pudgy muffin top she had developed above her bikini bottoms and wiped the sweat from her chubby but surprisingly unlined face and plodded forward.

In front of her now, Lissette Salinas was sprinting faster. The formerly teenage girl had lost her girlish looks and youthful features, leaving her a haggard looking woman with thin lips and a lined forehead, but her body was still sinewy and powerful for her age.

BOB: “Right behind them are the teenage trio of Bolgarka Karakas, Erika Sjostrom and Ewa Cichoka. Karakas and Sjostrom are both swimming specialist and have that swimmers body you mentioned.”

TERRI: “They sure do. You can see their skill as their young bodies cut through that water.”

BOB: “And now their old bodies are doing the same at age 51, maybe a bit less gracefully. I can’t imagine what it feels like for a 16 year old girl to suddenly find herself on the other side of 50 in an instant.”

TERRI: “It can’t be pleasant Bob. Nor for a 19 year old to suddenly find herself aged to 54! As we see with Ewa Cichoka. It looks like the aging went well for her as she’s kept thin and muscular. I think that’s what she was banking on to turn up the heat in this next lap and catch up to that chase group.”

The camera zooms onto the three 50-something year old women as they climb out of the pool. Bolgarka and Erika have shed their fresh faced looks and gained the appearance of mature older women.

Erika’s freckles were gone and there were now wrinkles along her face amongst her dimples. She kept her blonde hair but gained crows feet beside her eyes. Her face looked much sterner than the cheery looking teenage girl she was at the start.

Bolgarka still had a bright smile but it was more sexy and alluring than girlish and flirty. She had some grey around her temples but her long hair was still mostly brown. Her hips flared out and her thighs had expanded but both changes looked minimal next to the large chest she suddenly had. The large boobs flattened out a bit on top as they sloped downward but it was still an impressive display and provided an appealing figure for a woman in her 50s.

Both ladies had gone from kittens to cougars and were clearly arousing some of the men in the audience as they raced forward.

Ewa Cichoka hadn’t gained a single pound in the transition from 19 to 54 but the lines on her face and older skin along with her naturally pinched feature and sharp nose gave her a more witchy appearance. Despite not gaining weight her muscles had softened a bit as she aged and the skin on her belly was quite loose and wrinkly as it bunched together when she flexed her abs. Loose neck skin also swayed as she ran, blowing by the two teens turned MILFs in front of her as well as the BBW Brazilian matron stumbling ahead of them.

BOB: “And finally bringing up the rear 14 year old Ganna Lechenko is approaching the chronal barrier. She’s kicking her little adolescent legs as fast as she can!”

TERRI: “She’s seriously lagging trying to keep hold of her oversized bikini bottoms so that she doesn’t lose them in the water.”

BOB: “I thought I saw Ewa Cichoka making a comment to her before she broke away to dive into the pool. I wonder if it was about the futile effort of keeping clothes several sizes too big for her on in this race.”

TERRI: “Who knows? But by the look of determination on Ganna’s face and the fact that she hasn’t let go of them yet I’d say she’s out to prove Cichoka wrong. Here she goes!”

The camera zooms in to the barrier as the skinny girl swims through. Immediately she fills out her outfit, with need for only a few slight adjustments, her C-cup breasts grew out underneath her runner top and sloped down requiring Ganna to pull her sports bra down over them. She hefted her chest with a look of accomplishment on her now mature face. All remnants of the shy waifish girl were gone and instead a confident sexy 49 year old woman climbed out of the pool.

Her formerly twig like legs grew and toned into muscular thighs and calves and her height shot up five inches. Her brown hair was wet and still in a bun above her womanly mostly unlined face. She smiles, clearly relieved at her older body and races forward.

BOB: “Boy she sure grew up Terri.”

TERRI: “That she did Bob. Well now all of the competitors are in the second lap, with exception of poor Ellen Dijkema of the Netherlands who needed to be taken to the hospital after giving birth to a 34 year old woman as she herself aged to 57 years old. I’ve gotten word since then that both mother and daughter are in stable condition and people are working on a way to fix what happened.”

BOB: “Well that’s good to hear! You never know what can happen in the Chronathalon!”

TERRI: “That’s the truth Bob. Just look at how different the positioning is now from the first lap – The incredibly youthful 63 year old Airi Okuhara of Japan has pulled into first place followed by 53 year old certified Russian MILF Yulia Klishnokova.”

BOB: “If she wanted to do another spread in her current state I don’t think there would be many complaints.”

TERRI: “I think you’re right Bob.”

BOB: “She looks like one of those 50+ models you see in health supplement commercials.”

TERRI: “58 year old Elodie Prevot of France has dropped into third place and seems to be losing her lead on the rest of the chase group as 53 year olds Penny Bishop of Canada and Madison Coburn of the US catch up with Ewa Cichoka of Poland, now 54 right behind them! And look whose blazing a trail to the front – little Ganna Levchenko!”

BOB: “I don’t think anyone can call her little now! Not with that womanly body. She looks like a super hero!”

TERRI: “And she’s running like one! Ariana Beck, 55 from Germany, Bolgarka Karakas, 51 of Hungary and Erika Sjostrom, 51 of Sweden are filling out the rest of the chase group.”

BOB: “What happened to Lissette Salinas of Spain?”

TERRI: “Lissette was making good headway but she appeared to stop and inspect her knees and has now slowed her movement down to a light jog.”

BOB: “Osteoperosis?”

TERRI: “Might be. Not something a 17 year old typically worries about but at 52 it seems she might have it a bit early.”

BOB: “Boy looking at the field now compared to how it looked a few minutes ago in the first lap – it’s like an AARP commercial down there. These ladies are now old enough to be the mothers of most of their fellow Olympians at this years games.”

TERRI: “That’s been a blessing for some and a struggle for others as we look at 61 year old Blair Campbell of Australia. The close-to-retirement-age woman, who was our front runner in the first lap has sagged sadly down to the back of the second pack.”

BOB: “Her position isn’t the only thing that’s sagged over the course of this lap.”

TERRI: “I thought you said that she aged well.”

BOB: “I like older women but that doesn’t take away from the fact that her body is losing its fight with gravity as she’s begun losing this race.”

TERRI: “54 year old Barbara de Oliveira of Brazil and 59 year old Federica Ferrari of Italy also took a severe hit in the form of mid-life weight gain and are now bringing up the rear in this second lap.”

BOB: “Our race leader Airi Okuhara has hit the water.”

TERRI: “Her long delicate arms are certainly helping make those good strides despite qualifying for senior discounts. One thing I saw with our teen swimmers Karakas and Sjostrom – once their bodies plumped and expanded they didn’t quite know how to make good strokes.”

BOB: “They were probably trying to make sure they themselves didn’t have a bad stroke!”

TERRI: “Eh you’re trying a little too hard their Bob.”

BOB: “Get it? Cause they’re old now and their hearts aren’t what they use to be!”

TERRI: “…They’re my age now Bob.”

BOB: “Well so anyway – I’m really curious to see how this next lap is going to play out. Airi Okuhara looks much younger than many of the women on the field now but when she passes through that second barrier she’s going to be two years shy of 100! I don’t know if she’ll be able to outlast someone like ‘little’ Ganna Levchenko who’s only going to be 84 years old in that last lap.”

TERRI: “We’ll see soon enough Bob!”

The camera zooms onto the second pool as the long thin woman swims through the second barrier and immediately her hair washes into a pale greyish white. It’s receded far back on her now very wrinkled forhead to the point that she looks almost balding. The thin white hair looks a bit absurd pulled into a girlish pony tale. It’s also clear in the water that her body type has morphed, it almost looks like it’s condensed.

As the 98 year old Japanese woman climbs out of the pool we see that she is now about a foot shorter. Her back is hunched and her wrinkled face is collapsed on itself. The only remnants of the formerly vibrant youthful woman she had been is her big bright eyes. Her once pouty lips are now thin and pulled inward. Also shockingly her midsection is blurred as she’s lost her bikini bottoms in the water.

The shrunken hunched over woman rubs her knobby knees and smiles at the crowd a big gummy smile before beginning to shuffle down the track in the most absurd tiny baby steps.

BOB: “Oooo guess her genes weren’t going to keep her youthful forever.”

TERRI: “Yep. Sometimes women just hit a wall at a certain age and everything catches up with them. Okuhara isn’t going to place at the pace she’s keeping unless every other woman in the competition ages just as badly.”

BOB: “Well I personally hope that’s not the case because here comes my future wife Yulia Klishnokova swimming a great clip for a woman in her 50s.”

TERRI: “She’s got that Russia strength. Let’s see how much of it she keeps in her late 80s. She’s passing through the barrier now.”

The camera pans over the pool as the attractive middle aged woman swims through the barrier. Her braided hair turns grey and thins. Her body shrivels. The camera zooms in on her climbing out of the pool. She pulls herself up cleanly despite veined bony hands and thin shriveled arms. Yulia is wrinkled head to toe. Her formerly pristine face is now shriveled like an apple doll, her jowly cheeks dangle under a collage of wrinkles.

Her stunning breasts have now collapsed into empty withered sacks sagging below the seam of her sports bra. The old Russian woman quickly assesses her body and a look of frustration crosses her aged face as she tugs her bra down to cover the pendulous boobs. Now her sports bra is closer to her wrinkly stomach, the wide expanse of age spotted skin on her chest exposed showing the outline of her ribcage.

She lifts a thin leg upward so that she can feel her feet. She rubs her now arthritic toes between her crooked fingers and tries to flex them. Deciding that she’s fine she puts her leg down, shakes her head causing her grey braids and loose jowls to sway from side to side and then bolts down the track.

BOB: “Oh my god look at her!”

TERRI: “Yeah I’ve never seen an elderly woman move that quickly before!”

BOB: “No I mean how old she looks!”

TERRI: “Well she’s 88 now Bob.”

BOB: “That’s just terrible.”

TERRI: “Well at the clip she’s running she’s going to make it to that third barrier and turn 18 again in just a few minutes!”

BOB: “Thank god for that.”

TERRI: “Now here come France’s Elodie Prevot and Poland’s Ewa Cichoka. When they come out of the second pool they will be 93 and 89 respectively.”

The camera zooms down on the pool as the two 50-something year old women pass through. Elodie comes out the other side looking shriveled and puffy. Her face is a collapsed pile of wrinkles framing tired eyes and thin red lips. Her brown hair has gone completely white and has thinned out a bit as it clings to her drooping cheeks and waddling neck.

As she climbs out the camera shows that her stomach has aged into a wrinkly distended gut and her legs look like thin melting skin around lumpy cottage cheese. Her age spotted feet just slide one foot in front of the other as she’s clearly afraid to lift them. She shuffles as quickly as she can toward the side of the track where someone is holding out a cup of water. She takes it in her talon like hand and pours it into her puckered lips then she shuffles a few feet farther to where another person is holding out a walker. She grabs the walker and uses it to stabilize herself and begins to quickly hobble down the track.

The camera pans back to Ewa who has climbed out of the pool to reveal a skeletally thin old woman with paper thin wrinkled skin clinging to her old bones. Her face is shriveled with her crooked nose now the dominant feature on her hag-like face. Her long whispy white hair is still pulled into a braid.

Her breasts no longer hold out her bra as they’ve shriveled and shrank into just sagging flaps of skin laying flat against her chest. Her ass is equally dripping onto the back of her skinny veiny thighs. As she attempt to run her bikini bottoms now slide down her waist no longer having a young toned ass to hold them up. She is now shuffling just a little faster than Airi as her bikini bottoms slide down to her ankles giving the audience in the stands a clear view of the puff of white hair above her aged vagina.

BOB: “I wonder how many wardrobe malfunctions we’re going to see in this leg of the race.”

TERRI: “Good question Bob, definitely something for the event coordinators to solve in future competitions.”

BOB: “Or figure out how to make them happen in the first lap when the girls are young and hot.”

TERRI: “…Anyway here comes 49 year old Ganna Levchenko followed by 53 year olds Penny Bishop and Madison Coburn.”

The camera pans in on the Ukrainian woman as she swims through the barrier. As she comes out the other side her brown hair in it’s top knot turns grey and thins a bit. Her body loosens and as she pulls herself out of the water the camera shows her face has puffed out and aged.

She is not as wrinkled as the other women who have passed through so far but she has puffy sacks under her eyes and her cheeks have slackened and drooped down softening her jaw line considerably. Her neck looks wrinkled and looser and her breasts have slid down to form a jiggling shelf above her softer belly. Her body is now pear shaped as her ass has also expanded and sagged onto her widening thighs. She’s not fat by any means but looks like a plump jovial grandmother. She glances down at her body quickly and rubs her older hands down her sides then breaks into a brisk jog down the track.

The camera cuts back onto the edge of the pool onto a pair of elderly liver spotted feet with crooked arthritic toes painted Red, White and Blue over thick yellowing nails as the camera pans up 88 year old Madison Coburn’s body. From her swollen ankles up the varicose veins on her leg.

Her powerful thigh and calve muscles have atrophied a bit in old age leaving thinner bonier legs covered in thin wrinkled skin. The camera pans up to her mid-section where her now wrinkled pancaking ass is doing its best to hold her bikini bottoms up in place of her thighs. Large gaps in the leg holes of the loose garment show some grey pubes peeking out. Her stomach is still flat-ish but her abs have melted away into the wrinkled soft belly of an elderly woman, folds framing her belly button.

The camera pans up to her sagging chest, her sports bra is holding her shapeless withered boobs flat against it. The shriveled mameries just giving a slight bump where they hang at the bottom of her ribcage. The top of her chest is pale and covered in age spots. Her biceps have also melted away with age leaving jiggling wrinkled bony arms. Her hands are gnarled and crooked from arthritis. The skin of her neck dangles downward as the camera pans up finally to her face.

The formerly energetic teenager now has a wizened wrinkled face with dark liver spots marring her usually rosy cheeks. Her hair is bright white still pulled into a girlish pony tail. Her eyes are still intense even under drooping eyelids and her thin lips open to reveal that she still has teeth. The camera tilts beside her to reveal a shorter old woman with a bit of a hunched back and long grey hair flowing down to her slouched shoulders.

The elderly Penny Bishop isn’t as wrinkled as her American friend but she’s shrunken and a bit frail looking. She still has her wide toothy bright smile that causes all the lines on her face to accentuate. Her sports bra is having a harder time containing her larger sagging breasts as her soft formless chest sloshes around trying to find the floor as she moves.

She looks down at her crooked misshapen toes and her knobby knees. She then looks at her friend who looks back giving an ‘are you okay?’ look. Penny nods her grey head and the two women begin to power walk down the track, grabbing water along the way but refusing the walkers or canes.

BOB: “Look at that. Friends even in their twilight years.”

TERRI: “It’s hard to believe those two women just graduated high school this past year.”

BOB: “You’re telling me. They look old enough to have a couple of great-grandkid in high school.”

TERRI: “The next group is approaching the second chronal barrier. We’ve got Ariana Beck of Germany, Bolgarka Karakas of Hungary, Hwang Joo Jin of South Korea and Erika Sjostrom of Sweden.”

The camera cuts over to Ariana passing through. As she swims out the other side we see the wrinkles on her face multiply even further and dark purple splotches appear all over her face and body. Her curly hair goes white and grey, it looks almost like a fright wig. Behind her Bolgarka’s hair quickly thinned out as she became 86 years old, she still kept some brown in her mostly grey hair and her face crinkled along her eyes, cheeks and mouth.

As she reached the end of the pool and climbed out her large saggy D-cup boobs popped out over her runners top and dragged uncomfortably across the pool edge as she lifted herself out. She struggled to stuff the large dangling pillows into her too small top with her wrinkly liver-spotted hands. Behind her an 86 year old Erika Sjostrom was pulling herself out as well.

The formerly freckle-faced teenager was now a white haired old woman with age-spots freckling her face and chest. Her stomach was pooched out and wrinkled and her aged ass was oozing out of the seams of her bikini bottom. She yelled something at her competitor and Bolgarka nodded pulling her sports bra off completely and began to slowly jog topless down the track, her fat saggy boobs slapping up and down painfully as she did so. Finally Hwang Joo Jin pulled herself on to the track. She had a puffy wrinkled face now and whispy grey hair. Her body had shrunken a bit. She shuffled slowly over to the side of the track accepting a cane from someone. Ariana grabbed a cane too as the pair of 90 year old women hobbled neck and neck down the track.

BOB: “Bolgarka looks really good for 86. I’d say she could pass for 70!”

TERRI: “I’m sure that’s a small comfort for the formerly 16 year old girl.”

BOB: “It’s too bad about her runners top though.”

TERRI: “Yes that large chest of hers is certainly going to slow her down.”

BOB: “Something is happening a little farther down the track. It looks like Ganna Levchenko is moving toward Ewa Cichoka as she passes her.”

TERRI: “It looks like she’s coming over to say something.”

The camera zooms in on 89 year old Ewa Chichoka who is still awkwardly shuffling down the track bottomless with her bikini bottoms hanging down around her swollen ankles. Her backside is not blurred out so you can see her shapeless bony puckered ass with wrinkled skin pooling where it meets her veiny thighs.

The now 84 year old Ganna jogs up behind her with a look of concern on her lined face as she sizes up her Polish competitor. Ganna leans over and says something pointing down at the bikini bottoms. The thin older woman stops short with an incredulous look on her witchy face. She puts her hands on her bony hips and glares at Ganna as she jogs ahead. Ewa finally reaches down slowly, putting on hand on her visible spine for support and attempts to pull up her bottoms around her waist. She hikes them up as far as they will go giving her a serious wedgy. But this is to no avail since as soon as she begins shuffling forward again they begin to slide back down her shriveled legs.

BOB: “What do you think that was about Terri?”

TERRI: “I think that was comeuppance for whatever rude thing Ewa said to Ganna when they were teenagers.”

BOB: “It only took 70 years for karma to get her back.”

TERRI: “Or in our case about an hour.”

BOB: “Well while that happened Lissette Salinas and Anouk Sprunger made it out of the pool and into age 87 and 90 respectively.”

The camera pans to a bottom-heavy old Hispanic woman with whispy grey hair and a deeply creviced face shuffling along- side a pale wrinkled white-haired woman with large striking eyes. Lissette veered off to grab a cane but Anouk clenched her crooked taloned hands into wrinkled fists and continued to power walk down the course with determination forcing her pale shriveled legs to keep moving.

TERRI: “Looks like 90 year old Anouk still has some spring in her step.”

BOB: “Now that’s a girl that I could see getting a few face lifts by this point in life.”

TERRI: “Unfortunately the chronathalon doesn’t give her the luxury. What you see when you come out the other side of that chronal barrier is what you get!”

BOB: “At least she’s kept her pretty eyes.”

TERRI: “And more importantly her eyesight. It definitely looks like a few of these ladies wish they had some spectacles to wear right about now.”

BOB: “Case in point Anita Hamblin who finds herself at 91 coming out the pool along with Amber Sharpe from Great Britain… also 91.”

The camera zooms in on Anita Hamblin who is pulling her shrunken body out of the pool. Her old eyes are squinting tightly to see and she feels around for her place. The elderly British woman next to her takes a moment to help her orient to the track and then begins lightly jogging forward. Amber Sharpe now has a puffy crinkled face with long straight white hair flowing down her sloping shoulders. She’s clearly lost all her teeth as her thin wrinkled lips are sucked inward. Despite that, her body has held up well in old age.

TERRI: “Amber Sharpe’s genetics have seemingly paid off.”

BOB: “Yeah for someone who makes Maggie Smith look young she’s certainly making good strides down that track.”

TERRI: “Hamblin on the other hand is taking the slow and steady approach, probably for the best considering the eye sight issue we were just discussing. Someone is handing her a walker. That’ll certainly help.”

BOB: “Who do we have left to enter the third lap?”

TERRI: “The final group is mostly older competitors – 61 year old Blair Campbell who took such a promising start in the first lap but who will be 96 in a few short minutes; Federica Ferrari and Barbara de Oliveira who will be 93 and 89 respectively and both got tripped up by hereditary issues in the second lap…”

BOB: “The ol’ ‘becoming fatties’ trap…”

TERRI: “Indeed. Future competitors will need to keep a predisposition to gaining weight in middle age a consideration before entering into the Chronathalon.”

BOB: “I wonder when they pass through that final barrier and become young again– is their skin going to be all stretched out and gross like people who have liposuction?”

TERRI: “Probably not Bob.”

BOB: “Just wondering what long term effects these girls have in store from all this age-changing.”

TERRI: “Hopefully none. We’ve been told this is all perfectly harmless.”

BOB: “Tell that to Ellen Dijkema and her baby…”

TERRI: “Ah coming out of the pool now is a competitor we haven’t mentioned yet. 93 year old Carolina Valentin, the gymnast who despite being in amazing performance shape didn’t get a strong position in the first lap at 23 and then lost ground after what looked to be some hip and thigh trouble at age 58. Now she’s looking pretty good in old age. She’s standing upright, still seems to have a good amount of muscles on her wrinkled limbs and she’s turning down the canes and walkers, which I guess means that any hip issues she was having she’s going to bear through on her own.”

The camera pans over to the elderly Carolina who has her grey hair pulled tightly in a bun. She’s shuffling quickly down the track trying to pull down her runner top to contain her dangling shriveled breasts resting on her wrinkled belly. She smiles a wrinkly smile at the crowd looking like a flirtatious old Latina woman having fun at the end of her life. Her youthful make-up still caked on her wrinkled face makes her look like an elderly woman still trying to cling to the last shreds of her beauty and sexuality.

BOB: “Here comes newly granny-fied Blair Campbell the 96 year old from Australia. She’s pulled her shriveled body out of the pool and now she’s just… standing there.”

TERRI: “She looks very confused and scared Bob.”

BOB: “Do you think she’s gone senile?”

TERRI: “That’s not supposed to be part of the effects. These women are supposed to keep their minds at their starting age but as this is the first ever event – anything can happen.”

The camera zooms in on a shrunken old woman with short white hair clinging to her age-spotted scalp. Blair is looking around timidly and wetting her lips. She keeps shuffling from side to side looking at the crowd. Her wrinkled old body trembles as she does so.

BOB: “Imagine her doing that Wheatpuffs commercial now Terri.”

TERRI: “What are you talking about Bob?”

BOB: “Her Wheatpuffs commercial. It’s been playing non-stop this season. Here look.”

A Commercial begins playing showing a tall, muscular statuesque blonde 26-year old Blair Campbell.

COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER: “Can you handle all the cereal it would take to get the fiber in Wheatpuffs from a competitor brand?”

YOUNG BLAIR: “I can hold it but I wouldn’t want to eat it!”

The commercial shows Blair lifting a mountain of cereal boxes in one hand above her head while putting a spoon of Wheatpuffs in her mouth with the other.

YOUNG BLAIR: "Mmmmm nutritious and delicious!"

Her rock hard abs glisten as the commercial fades out. The camera fades into 96 year old Blairs stomach which is a bundle of loose wrinkled skin and a far cry from its six-pack glory. An event official is approaching her and asking if she’s all right. Blair looks at the woman and her shriveled face turns bright red with embarrassment. The camera pans in closer as a stream of urine runs down her crooked veiny leg.

TERRI: “Ah there was the problem. It’s not senility, it’s incontinence issues. THAT is something that can happen after passing through the Chronal barrier. In fact I’m sure a few of these women are praying for a pair of depends before they reach the finish line.”

BOB: “That’s got to be a tough blow for a strong woman like Blair to pathetically piss herself in front of all these people.”

TERRI: “Well she’s making the most of it as she now appears to be shuffling forward down the track. Someone has tossed her a towel to wipe her mess off her leg.”

BOB: “Here come the two whales through the Chronal barrier.”

TERRI: “You’re so mean Bob… let’s see if they shed any of that weight in old age.”

The camera pans down to the end of the pool as the heavy set Brazilian and Italian women swim through the barrier. Their hair instantly turns completely grey and white. Federica pulls herself up and out with jiggling wrinkled arms. She has shed some of the weight but her massive chest is now limp and collapsed onto her smaller but still protruding belly.

The runner top she had at 24 has no hope of covering her big flopping 94 year old mammaries. Her wrinkled skin dangles off her body in folds, her red wrinkled face is mottled with brown spots. She shuffles forward looking very much like a stereotypical Italian grandmother with a short stylish modern haircut and exposed top.

Barbara, meanwhile was rolling her old body onto the track. Her sagging breasts hadn’t grown but her bottom half had. She stumbled upward seemingly bottomless as the bikini bottoms had snapped under the expansion of her saggy booty.

As she waddled forward however, the remnants of the colorful garment were seen dangling from her pruned ass cheeks since they had become wedged up there when she aged. The camera didn’t bother to blur her exposed crotch as the 89 year old’s wrinkly gut was doing a good job of keeping her aged vagina from sight. The flabby stomach jiggled with each hobbling step and she sorely needed a cane to support her old swollen ankles.

BOB: “No such luck for the former Brazilian beauty.”

TERRI: “Well all the competitors are now in the third track. Though none have reached the final pool yet.”

BOB: “As one could imagine this lap is going to take a lot longer than the previous two. Look at those grannies shuffling done the track with all their might. It looks like a nursing home hallway when there’s not enough seats for Bingo!”

The camera pans up and down the track showing the group of grey haired ladies hobbling slowly down the track. The ones in front are creakily jogging with care while the ones toward the back are just sliding one wrinkled foot in front of the other never taken their feet off the ground.

TERRI: “It’s a different kind of race now.”

BOB: “I’ll say! They went from young athletic women at the top of their game to old crones worried about breaking a hip!”

TERRI: “Speaking of that it appears 90 year old Hwang Joo Jin has urinated on the track and lost her balance and tumbled onto her side.”

BOB: “I bet her friends at home are going ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!’”

TERRI: “I bet her friends at home are worried about the old woman’s safety Bob. Lissette Salinas has stopped to give a hand to her… and she’s back on her feet. The two old woman are shuffling side by side now. You got to love the spirit of cooperation in these games!”

BOB: “You sure do Terri. Erika Sjostrom is making good headway. Her power walking appears to be working, looks like she didn’t get any arthritis in those old toes of hers. And she’s high-fiving a young blonde woman on the side lines… is that her twin sister?”

TERRI: “That’s actually her older sister Elsa Sjostrom. She’s also an Olympic competitor in diving. She’s 18 years old.”

BOB: “Man she looks like she’s Erika’s great granddaughter now.”

TERRI: “That must be a weird feeling to be 18 years old and high fiving your baby-sisters wrinkled liver-spotted hand.”

BOB: “I wonder if any of the competitor’s romantic partners will come up to the side-lines at this point and get a closer look at what’s in store for them in 70 years.”

TERRI: “That would be a gruesome view I think… Holy smokes 88 year old Yulia Klishnokova is about to approach the water. She’s a good length ahead of the second and third place women – 88 year old Madison Coburn from the US and 93 year old Elodie Prevot of France. In fact as those women are plodding down the track with all their might Yulia seems to be swiftly running with ease.”

BOB: “Those muse be REALLY good genes Terri. In fact it makes me wonder what she can do when she’s 18 again… or how flexible she’ll stay in her old age.”

TERRI: “Wait something’s happening. Before she was about to dive a couple officials stopped her and brought her over to the side of the track.”

BOB: “Why would they do that?”

TERRI: “It looks like they might be disqualifying her. She’s attempting to dissuade them it looks like… She appears to be flirting with them.”

BOB: “I don’t know how effective that will be for her at age 88.”

TERRI: “That might be all she knows to do Bob. She’s still got an 18 year old mind…”

The camera cuts down to the shriveled old Russian woman intensely talking with a male and female official. The 88 year old Yulia is pressing her partially exposed elderly body against the male official, wrapping her veiny thin leg around his and rubbing her clammy wrinkled foot up and down his calve. She’s twirling his ID badge around her arthritic finger and saying something to him as both the male and female official are trying to delicately pull her away.

BOB: “Now I’m not an expert lip reader and Yulia’s jowly wrinkled mouth doesn’t help matter but it looks like what she’s saying is that if they let her complete the race she’ll privately celebrate with the male official once she’s young again.”

TERRI: “That’s all well and good Bob but can you tell us what the official seem to have pulled her out of the race for?”

BOB: “Oh right. Yeah it seems they have evidence that she took unauthorized drugs that stave off a lot of aging effects.”

TERRI: “That would explain how she was able to run so fast while pushing 90.”

BOB: “I thought that might be too good to be true!”

TERRI: “The officials are guiding her off the track now.”

BOB: “They aren’t going to let her go through the final barrier and back to her 18 year old body?”

TERRI: “Not at the moment anyway.”

BOB: “Well that definitely puts a damper on that video she was planning to shoot!”

TERRI: “Not to mention her Olympic career!”

BOB: “Hell of a sacrifice.”

TERRI: “Cheaters never win Bob.”

BOB: “Back on the track it looks like the first group of grannies are approaching the pool.”

TERRI: “Yep. I see 88 year olds Madison Coburn and Penny Bishop easing into the pool along with 91 year old Amber Sharpe”

BOB: “And spring chicken Ganna Lecvhenko is right there with them at age 84. I wonder how they’ll dive in their current conditions.”

TERRI: “Oh you’re not going to see these ladies dive Bob. Not at their age.”

The camera zooms in as the elderly women sit their wrinkly butts on the edge of the pool and ease themselves in delicately then begin wading slowly through the pool, their sagging breasts floating upward temporarily regaining their original youthful placements before the women start calmly breast stroking across the pool.

BOB: “And the race has taken on the feel of a senior swim class at the Y.”

TERRI: “The water must feel like a huge relief to these girls who have suddenly had 70 years of gravity take a toll on their bodies.”

BOB: “I’m sure it’ll feel even better when they reach that reverting barrier at the end of the pool.”

TERRI: “The next set of joggers has reach the pool. 86 year old Erika Sjostrom, 90 year old Anouk Sprunger, 86 year old Bolgarka Karakas and 93 year old Carolina Valentin.”

BOB: “I’m glad Bolgarka made it to the pool. Every time she took a step I was afraid she was going to knock herself out with one of those big saggy boobs.”

A video clip shows a slow motion video of the 86 year old Hungarian girl jogging topless down the track and her flopping tits flying up to her shoulder narrowly missing her face on each step and then slapping back down on her wrinkled belly.

TERRI: “There were certainly a few close calls. Sprunger seems to be dipping a crooked toe in the water to test the temperature. She may be experiencing some confusion. Now the other old women are motioning for her to come into the water.”

The camera shows the 90 year old white-haired Swiss woman carefully sit down and then put her arthritic finger between her wrinkled lips as if she’s not sure before finally deciding to awkwardly hop into the water coaxed by the other elderly women in the pool. Finally they all begin swimming forward.

BOB: “Well it looks like she sorted it out.”

TERRI: “It’s a hot day and the Chronathalon puts a lot of strain on these girls bodies. It’s understandable for there to be some moments of disorientation.”

BOB: “Next group up are the shufflers but they still have a bit of a ways before the pool. Leading the group is 93 year old Elodie Prevot.”

TERRI: “And oh how the mighty have fallen. Elodie kept in the top 3 through the first two thirds of the race and now thanks to her need for a walker has fallen somewhere in the lower middle of the group.”

BOB: “Man is that what Jennifer Garner is going to look like in a few years?”

TERRI: “All we know is that that’s what Elodie Prevot of France is going to look like in 70 years.”

BOB: “She looks like the most bitter pile of wrinkles. Like the great-great grandmother at a wedding who just sits in the corner of the reception hall looking miserable and mumbling unintelligible things in French.”

TERRI: “Maybe she’ll do just that someday but for now she’s hobbling along with all her might in the chase group.”

BOB: “Right. Along with poor old Elodie we have 89 year old Ewa Cichoka who hasn’t realized she can step out of her panties… Followed by older-than-dirt Blair Campbell and Airi Okuhara.”

TERRI: “Campbell is going to rewatch this broadcast and kick your ass for calling her ‘older-than-dirt’ Bob.”

BOB: “She’s a 96 year old woman now, she doesn’t scare me.”

TERRI: “But in a little while she’s going to be a 26 year old top athlete again and you’ll still be a 42 year old nerdy sports caster.”

BOB: “Touche.”

TERRI: “The shufflers are doing a good job of keeping pace ahead of the women who opted for canes despite not taking many real steps.”

BOB: “That’s right Terri. I think that’s due to the fact that Ariana Beck and Hwang Joo Jin at 90 keep stopping to catch their breath.”

TERRI: “It looks like the German competitor has taken a moment to nap on the track.”

BOB: “That’s probably going to be embarrassing for her when she’s 20 again.”

TERRI: “Oh no! 91 year old Anita Hamblin is hobbling forward in her walker right toward her.”

BOB: “The former 21 year old is now blind as a bat. She has no clue that one of her competitors has nodded off in front of her!”

The camera zooms in to show the 91 year old woman from New Zealand shuffling forward in clunky steps due to her walker as Ariana Beck snores leaning on her cane in front of her. Anita shoves into her very slowly causing the wrinkled old German woman to wake up with a start and crumple onto the track.

Quickly officials and medical staff rush over to help her as well as Anita who is feeling around to help her competitor up. She begins pawing at the back of a young EMT around her former age and is shooed off by him and directed to continue on with the race. She blindly grabs her walker and continues to hobble forward. The EMTs help Ariana to her feet but then decide to lift her onto a cart and wheel her off the track.

TERRI: “It looks like she’s fine and conscious but they may be taking her out of the competition to run tests on her and make sure she’s all right.”

BOB: “They aren’t going to give her her youth back first?”

TERRI: “If she has any kind of internal injuries who knows what rewinding 70 years will do.”

BOB: “Guess she’s going to have to live without her looks for a little while longer.”

TERRI: “Bringing up the rear we have Lissette Salinas the now 87 year old with bad knees; 94 year old Federica Ferrari who appears to have grabbed a walker at some point.”

BOB: “I’ve got to say even at 94 Federica is rocking her tattoos.”

TERRI: “You can make them out amongst all that wrinkled stretched skin?

BOB: “Just look for the splotches of color. You can see the one on her calve and on her right foot pretty clearly.”

TERRI: “Her forearm tattoo though is distorted beyond recognition.”

BOB: “Can’t help those Italian grandma bingo wings!”

TERRI: “And at the very back we have 89 year old Barbara de Oliveira.”

BOB: “Who is a far cry from her Sports Weekly spread!”

The camera pans to the rear competitors where Lissette and Federica are hobbling neck and neck with one another slowly but eyeing each other to make sure the other doesn’t get a decent lead and then the fat elderly Brazilian woman wheezing and waddling behind them plodding from one foot to the next with the help of her cane. Her huge wrinkled ass bobbing up and down behind her like a bouncy blob.

TERRI: “The shuffling group has finally entered the pool. This is their chance to catch up to the leaders if they can swim faster than they ran.”

BOB: “I wouldn’t put much hope in practically mummified Airi Okuhara to do anything fast. She looks like she’s going to keel over any minute.”

TERRI: “Japanese women live a long time Bob. I think Okuhara still has some tricks up her sleeve.”

BOB: “Well she’d better pull them out now because our front runners have made it to the other end and around about to get a big gulp of the fountain of youth!”

The camera pans forward to the final chronal barrier as Madison, Penny, Ganna, Amber and Erika all swim through. There is a huge gasp from the crowd as a group of elderly women in their 80s and 90s emerge from the other end. The aged competitors pause to gawk at how old and wrinkly they still are but only for a moment and then the group climbs out of the pool and begin quickly power walking down the final stretch toward the finish line.

TERRI: “I can’t believe it! The final Chronal barrier appears to have malfunctioned. The competitors aren’t reverting back to their normal ages!”

BOB: “This isn’t permanent right? They’ll be able to fix this?”

TERRI: “They’d better be Bob or else they’ve just robbed 20 young women of their whole lives.”

BOB: “Not to mention their beauty and sex appeal!”

TERRI: “Officials are already at the equipment in question working on it. That’s no help to 90 year old Anouk Sprunger or 86 year old Bolgarka Karakas who I’m sure was hoping to be a 16 year old girl again right now.”

BOB: “Yeah she’s going to have to survive one more stretch of saggy flailing boobies.”

TERRI: “Carolina Velentin is also through but remains 93 years old.”

BOB: “What will it mean if they get the Chronal barrier working again before the competitions over?”

TERRI: “That’s a good point Bob. If it works again before some of these women go through it – it could be a huge game changer!”

BOB: “Right. I mean – Active grannies Madison Coburn and Amber Sharpe are clearly heads and tails above blind old biddy Anita Hamblin or fat grannies Federica Ferrari and Barbara de Oliveira but 21 year old Anita or slim and fit teenage Barbara would blow the wrinkled butts off our current leading ladies just on the fact that their legs are actually able to run!”

TERRI: “You said it Bob! Elodie Prevot of France, Ewa Cichoka of Poland, Blair Campbell of Australia and Airi Okuhara of Japan are all passing through now. No change so these women will all be shuffling to the finish line just a few years shy of 100.”

BOB: “At least it looks like Ewa has finally lost those panties… I mean for her sake.”

The camera cuts to the edge of the pool where Elodie Prevot is being helped out by race workers and given her walker again. Ewa, Blair and Airi all climb out slowly. 96 year old Blair and 98 year old Air shuffle tiny careful steps forward but Ewa, now no longer hobbled by panties wrapped around her ankles power walks her skinny wrinkled frame down the track.

TERRI: “The last leg was anticipated to take only two minutes to run down but it’s now become quite an ordeal for these women who already just exerted their old bodies to their limits this race.”

BOB: “The front runners are now just 100 feet from the finish line but with their old legs, knobby knees and arthritic feet they must feel 100 miles away.”

TERRI: “90 year old Hwang Joo Jin and 91 year old Anita Hamblin are the next ones to get to reach the end of the final pool and OH MY GOD they’re young again! The chronal barrier is working once again. This is a total wild card as these young women will now get to compete against a leading field 70 years their senior.”

BOB: “They can hardly hide their smiles. It must feel really good to suddenly go from 90 to 20 years old.”

The camera replays the footage of Anita Hamblin and Hwang Joo Jin passing through the Chronal barrier. It shows two shriveled white haired women pulling their bodies forward in the water slowly and with great effort but as Hwang Joo Jin swims through, the black color washes back through her hair and her body stretches back out and smooths revealing a young fresh faced girl on the other side.

Similarly as Anita swims through we see the sandy blonde color of her hair come back as muscles reform on her body and the wrinkles disappear. She stands in the water opening her eyes wide and looking around with a huge smile on her young dimpled face. The two young women grin at one another knowingly and climb out of the pool shoving aside the astonished race workers who were waiting with their cane and walker. They then stare ahead intensely and race down the track with new found energy.

TERRI: “They are already blowing past the group that was a good forty feet ahead of them.”

BOB: “I’m pretty sure Blair Campbell just yelled ‘slow down you young whipper-snappers!”

TERRI: “Lissette Salinas is passing through the barrier as well and the competitor from Ecuador finds herself a 17 year old girl again!”

The camera shows the old grey haired Hispanic woman swim through and once more become a bright-eyed teenager in slightly oversized clothing. She quickly hops out of the pool, grabbing the cane that was being handed to her and playfully pretending to use it before tossing it to a person on the side lines.

BOB: “Lissette is having some fun before continuing to race. A certain children’s story warns us of the danger in that.”

TERRI: “Too true Bob. If she doesn’t start running she’s not only not going to catch up to her aged competitors currently a few feet away from the finish line, she’ll also have no chance of catching up to her young competitors who are taking this seriously.”

BOB: “Eh let her have fun. She’s only 17!”

TERRI: “She was 87 a few seconds ago. That’s old enough to know better.”

BOB: “We’ll see how Barbara and Federica react when they find themselves a lot lighter.”

TERRI: “In the meantime it looks like our front runners are picking up the pace. Coburn, Bishop and Sharpe have broken into a swift jog despite their advanced ages.”

BOB: “I bet they hear the hard slap of younger feet hitting the ground behind them and know that a few of their competitors have gotten their looks back.”

TERRI: “That very well might be the case, because in these last couple dozen feet the lead group seems to be pushing themselves as hard as elderly women can.”

BOB: “Oh! De Oliveriera and Ferrari are belly flopping through the chronal barrier.”

TERRI: “I can’t believe it! It looks like it’s malfunctioned again. No change for the rotund old women.”

BOB: “Tough break again for the competitors from Brazil and Italy!”

TERRI: “But we can’t dwell on that too long as Anita Hamblin and Hwang Joo Jin have just passed the elderly Anouk Sprunger and Boglarka Karakas to close the gap on the front runners.”

BOB: “But Madison Coburn, Penny Bishop and Amber Sharpe are breaking into a run now with just 15 feet between them and the finish line. Those poor old ladies. They look like they should be sitting in a rocking chair, knitting but instead they are running as fast as their swollen joints will let them. Sweat pouring down their wrinkled face. Their grey hair sticking to their foreheads!”

TERRI: “And OH MY GOD Madison Coburn and Penny Bishop have finished first and second in the Chronathalon! It’s a photo finish. They win gold and silver at 88 years old!”

BOB: “Amber Sharpe is right behind them but she’s stopped suddenly. Why would she stop! She’s mere steps from a bronze medal!”

TERRI: “It’s too late! Incredibly Ganna Levchenko, who started this race an innocent girl the tender age of 14, has placed in third at the venerable age of 84!”

BOB: “86 year old Erika Sojostrom is right behind her placing fourth.”

TERRI: “And here come our young competitors. Hwang Joo Jin is across in 5th. Anita Hamblin has stopped to make sure Amber Sharpe is okay.”

BOB: “It looks like a young woman asking an old lady if she needs help crossing the street.”

TERRI: “Something clearly spooked Sharpe who was so close to a medal.”

The camera zooms in on young Anita Hamblin leaning over to the old British woman and whispering something to her and then leaning in to hear Amber’s response. The two women nod at one another and Anita helps Amber walk over the finish line gently guiding her crooked back.

BOB: “Well there it is Sharpe in 6th and good Samaritan Anita Hamblin in 7th.”

TERRI: “Now Anouk Sprunger of Switzerland and Bolgara Karakas of Hungary are approaching the finish line they’ll place 8th and 9th.”

BOB: “Still no sign of 17 year old Lissette Salinas? She should have finished this a few minutes ago.”

TERRI: “She appears to be jogging along side 93 year old Carolina Valentin.”

BOB: “From her hand motions it looks like she’s impressing upon Carolina how low her butt is sagging now.”

TERRI: “Taunting is very unsportsmanlike.”

BOB: “But very teenager-like.”

TERRI: “Well while she’s doing that Airi Okuhara has bolted past them still never lifting her feet off the ground.”

BOB: “Do you see the million tiny steps she’s taking? For a little 98 year old woman she’s gliding across the track!”

TERRI: “I told you she’d still have a few tricks.”

BOB: “Yeah I’d call that a Power Shuffle!”

The camera zooms in on the shriveled shrunken old Japanese woman whose bent knobby legs never lift off the ground but her tiny wrinkled feet slide back and forth with impressive speed propelling her nearly 100 year old body forward.

TERRI: “At this pace she’ll easily place 10th! While we wait for the last half of competitors to finish we have our very own field reporter Andrea O’Connell down at the finish line with the winning results!”

The camera cuts to a 30 year old professionally dressed woman holding a microphone standing in front of the commotion of competitors and race officials behind her.

ANDREA: “Thanks Terri! We have the final results of the photo finish and judges have ruled that Madison Coburn of the U.S.A. has won the gold medal by a nose! I have Madison and Penny Bishop of Canada who has won the silver medal behind me.”

She moves aside as the two 88 year old women beaming with pride and wheezing from exhaustion shuffle up next to her. Their old wrinkled bodies are wrapped in their respective nations flags. Penny is a bit hunched over and she has a wrinkled hand on her crooked back for support. Sweat is glistening off of Madison’s aged chest and beads drip down her wrinkly cleavage.

ANDREA: “Madison! Congratulations on winning the gold! How does it feel!”

MADISON: “Despite being 70 years older than I should be and all the aches and pains that go with that I feel amazing! It’s just incredible! And I beat women 70 years younger than me. Who would have thought I could do all that at only 18!”

The women laugh causing their wrinkled jowls to quiver.

ANDREA: “Penny you were right there neck and neck to the very end. How are you feeling right now?”

PENNY: “My damn arthritis is acting up but I’m feeling great! I told Maddie that if we had gotten our youth back I would have ended up with the gold. Her nose is a lot smaller at 18!”

The women laugh and wheeze.

MADISON: “I was like ‘Thanks?’”

The women laugh some more.

ANDREA: “Now this is a first-of-its-kind competition. Was it what you were expecting?”

MADISON: “No one is prepared to suddenly find themselves 35 years older and then 70 years older.”

PENNY: “I don’t know if we could even describe it to you. I’m older than my own grandmother right now. It’s going to be a little awkward when I go give her a hug later. She’s the pretty young thing now!”

ANDREA: “Can you describe the emotional feeling of experiencing your own futures over the course of this race?”

MADISON: “In a word: No. It’s not even like experiencing our own future because it’s not like we get all the memories and life experience that comes with these 70 years. We’re just a couple of recent high school grads in 88 year old bodies.”

PENNY: “I mean, I think we both have an idea of what kind of plastic surgery we want to get in a few years!”

The women giggle some more.

MADISON: “If you want to know what it’s like I’m sure we could pull some strings and have you try it!”

PENNY: “It’s really quite a rush. Every part of your body just kind of races toward your toes.”

ANDREA: “I think I’m quite all right with that. I don’t think it would be good for my career to have the world see what I’m going to look like at 65 and 100!”

The women all laugh.

MADISON: “Suit yourself.”

PENNY: “The world needs more centenarian reporters! Down with agism!”

ANDREA: “Sounds like you both have a new cause to advocate for. Any word on when you’re getting your youth back?”

MADISON: “The officials told us that they will have us back to normal by tomorrow morning. So we have one night where we rock the granny look. No big deal.”

ANDREA: “What are you girls going to do in the meantime.”

PENNY: “Oh we’re definitely going clubbing.”

MADISON: “I’ve already started scoping out some tinder prospects.”

ANDREA: “Really? Think you’ll have a lot of luck at your advanced ages?”

MADISON: “You’d be surprised. There are a lot of hot guys who want to sleep with Olympic medal winners.”

PENNY: “And any guy willing to have sex with us at 88 is definitely going to get the chance to have sex again when we’re 18!”

The two former teens cackle like dirty old lechers. Andrea looks at them amused but uncomfortable.

ANDREA: “Well I’ll let you two go back in basking in your win. You might want to take a nice nap before you paint the town red! Back to you guys in the booth!”

TERRI: “Thanks Andrea!”

BOB: “The girls have a point. I’m sure a lot of guys are going to want to hit that no matter what age they are.”

TERRI: “Well in the meantime Airi Okuhara has indeed shuffled her way over the finish line to 10th place followed by 93 year old Carolina Valentin of Spain whose jog over the finish finally snapped some sense into 17 year old Lissette who ran behind her placing 12th.”

BOB: “She’s probably not going to live that down for a while.”

TERRI: “89 year old Ewa Cichoka has also made it to the finish line and placed 13th and Elodie Prevot the first woman to finish an olympic race with a walker has placed 14th at the age of 93.”

BOB: “Blair Campbell, who led the race for a good portion is finally hobbling over the finish now to place 15th.”

TERRI: “And we still have a bit until the final two competitors finish. Let’s go back to Andrea who has 5th place finisher Amber Sharpe of Great Britain with her.”

The camera cuts back to Andrea who is standing next to a young man in a union jack track suit. In front of them is a wrinkled jowly white haired woman sitting in a folding chair with her nations flag wrapped around her like a shawl.

ANDREA: “Amber, you put up a good race and were right there with the other medalists until the very last second. What everyone wants to know is what happened?”

Amber slowly cranes her head to look at the younger woman who hands her the microphone. Amber wets her lips a few times, its clear she no longer has any teeth and she begins to speak in a slow mumbly elderly British voice.

AMBER: “Well we were all jogging along and I thought I was doing all right. We were going slow you know? Because of our age. But not too slow! But then we heard running behind us and thought ‘oh no’ someone got to be young again. And so we went a little faster and a little faster and I’m quite fast when I’m young mind you. Quite fast, but I’m not use to this old body and the faster I went the more awful I felt and then as I was approaching the finish line… I pooped myself.”

ANDREA: “You did what?”

AMBER: “I pooped in my panties. Oh it’s a dreadful thing. You’ll experience it when you’re old too. Don’t you worry. Luckily that nice young girl from New Zealand – Hamblin I think, she helped me finish and they got me cleaned up and into a pair of these!”

Amber opens her arms to reveal an adult diaper below her bare wrinkled belly.

ANDREA: “They put you in a diaper?”

AMBER: “It’s for the best deary. Until they can make me young again. Georgie is going to take care of me in the meantime. He’s my boyfriend. He’s usually a few years older than me but now he’s young enough to be my great-grandson!”

She reaches up to pat the young man on the arm. He kindly reaches down and gives the old girl a peck on the lips.

ANDREA: “Ah and Georgie how do you feel about your girlfriend being in the competition?”

GEORGIE: “Well I didn’t much like it honestly. No guy wants to see his girl all wrinkly before her time and I wish she hadn’ta shat herself in front of everyone. But mostly I’m just proud of her!”

ANDREA: “Awwww”

Georgie leans down and gives Amber a much more passionate kiss on her wrinkled lips. Andreas eyes widen a the may-december couple begin making out.

ANDREA: “Well all right back to you Terri!”

TERRI: “Thank Andrea.”

BOB: “Props to that kid. If I have one rule it’s that I don’t kiss anyone wearing a diaper.”

TERRI: “Well we are back just in time to see Barabara de Oliveira finish the Chronathalon at age 89. The staff has quickly gotten her a motorized wheelchair so she doesn’t have to put any more pressure on her body.”

BOB: “So Federica Ferrari of Italy finished 16th and de Oliveira of Brazil came in last at 17th.”

TERRI: “Right Bob and Ariana Beck or Germany, Yulia Klishnokova of Russia and Ellen Dijkema of the Netherlands did not place.”

BOB: “Any word on how Beck or Dijkema and her baby are doing?”

TERRI: “Yes we’ve gotten word that Ariana Beck is fine, she just has a bruised hip. It should be healed enough for her to go back to age 20 when the rest of the women do. Ellen Dijkema and her unnamed 35 year old infant daughter were taken to the hospital where they are reported to be in good condition and under observation.”

BOB: “Oh boy! Someone has uploaded a video taken at the hospital of what appears to be the father of the baby coming to see them. Let me see if I can play this…”

A video begins playing on the screen of a young ‘Rico-Suave’-looking man in his mid 20s approaching the 57 year old Ellen Dijkema who is lying in the bed wearing a hospital gown. He approaches cautiously.

“Ellen is that you?” He asks fearfully.

Ellen groggily opens her worn crinkly eyes

“Alex?” She asks in a strained husky voice.

“God, you look so old!” Alex exclaims.

Ellen frowns “I’m only 22…” she says horsely.

Alex quickly stutters. “No, no you look good for your age. They’ll make you young again in no time.”

He rushes over and hugs the older woman, flinching a little at her saggier body. Ellen smiles and hugs him tightly.

“Alex I’m so glad you came… I want you to meet your daughter…” She says slowly and painfully attempting to get out of the bed.

“My daughter!?” Alex exclaims.

“Yes. I’ve named her Sophie.” Ellen explains walking across the room to the bed behind the curtain.

Alex is frozen where he stands staring at Ellen’s exposed middle-aged ass.

“But-but Ellen we just had sex last night…” He sputters.

Ellen smiles at him. “I know, we didn’t intend for this to happen but we brought something wonderful into this world. Meet Sophie.”

The older woman pulls back the curtain to reveal a naked 34 year old woman laying on her back in a plastic pen trying to suck on her own toes. Ellen beams at the woman.

“Hi Sophie! Hi it’s mama! And I want you to meet your papa!” She says in a sweet voice to the infantile woman.

Alex’s jaw drops.

“That’s not my daughter. That woman’s older than I am!” He declares.

Ellen gives him a piercing look.

“She’s been through a lot. Hopefully they will be able to make her a baby again but if not we’ll love her just the same won’t we?” Ellen asks and smiles sweetly at her daughter.

Alex backs away slowly.

“I’m just saying there must be other guys you had sex with this week… how are you sure she’s mine….” He says.

Ellen gives him an angry glare.

“You were the only one! This is your daughter!” Ellen yells.

“Alex how can that-that woman be my daughter?? I’m a young man. I don’t have kids!” He says backing away some more.

“This is your daughter! You’re Sophie’s father!” Ellen screams.

Alex just shakes his head vehemently.

“It was good to see you. I’m glad you are all right. Good luck getting your youth back!” Alex says quickly and runs away.

“Alex! Get back here! This is your baby!” Ellen yells after him as Sophie, the grown woman begins to wail and cry.

The video cuts out.

BOB: “Woof. Tough tough situation.”

TERRI: “I wouldn’t want to be in any of their shoes.”

BOB: “Well the good news is that I’m actually hearing that the officials are confident that they will be able to make both Ellen and her baby 35 years younger. However they may have to wait 9 months so that Sophie reverts to being a newborn and not a fetus.”

TERRI: “I’m sure they feel that’s better than the alternative. We have Andrea down at the finish line once more giving some final interviews to the competitors including the youngest competitor this year and bronze medalist Ganna Levchenko!”

ANDREA: “Thanks Terri. I’ve been going around catching up with the ladies that just finished competing in the first ever Chronathalon, many of whom are stuck as little old ladies for the next 18 hours and their reactions cover a wide mix of emotions, from satisfaction, to anger to hope! Here take a look!”

Cut to Andrea standing next to 86 year old Erika Sjostrom wrapped in a Swedish flag standing next to her 18 year old sister.

ANDREA: “Erika, congratulations on placing forth. This was a tight race that had its fair share of surprises.”

ERIKA: “You’re telling me. Can you believe we’re sisters?”

ANDREA: “It’s not hard to tell you’re related but you look like you could be her grandmother!”

ERIKA: “I told Elsa she has to respect me since I’m her elder but she still insists she’s two years older.”

ELSA: “She’ll still be my baby sister no matter how old she looks.”

The girls laugh and Erika pinches Elsa’s cheek like an old lady.

ANDREA: “Elsa, how does it feel to have this glimpse into your sister’s future?”

ELSA: “She looks like our Mor Mor. I hope to look just as good at her age… which may be in a couple years if I compete in the Chronathalon next time.”

ANDREA: “Best of luck to you.”

Cut to Andrea who is standing with 90 year old Anouk Sprunger. Anouk has the Swiss flag draped around her and is leaning on Andrea for support.

ANDREA: “Anouk what are you going to do tonight to celebrate competing in this inaugural competition?”

Anouk takes a wheezing breath and giggles.

ANOUK: “There was a young man who hit on me this morning as I was getting ready to compete. He said I have the most amazing eyes he’s ever seen. He told me that when I finish he would come find me and give me a foot massage to relieve my aching feet after my run. I think he was assuming I’d still be the same age as him when he found me this afternoon. Jokes on him but I’m still planning to collect on his promise.”

Anouk grins a wrinkly grin and flexes her aged crooked toes that are painted with glittery nail polish.

ANDREA: “I’m sure he’ll enjoy that!”

Cut to Andrea standing next to Hwang Joo Jin and Anita Hamblin.

ANDREA: “You ladies were part of the lucky few that got their youth back today.”

HWANG: “Yes but it wasn’t enough to win the gold.”

ANITA: “Madison and Penny just dominated.”

HWANG: “They are fast old ladies.”

ANDREA: “You were both hampered by maladies in the third leg. Hwang it looked like you had serious knee problems.”

HWANG: “Yes evidently when I’m 90 my legs are going to give up on me. I wasn’t able to move with the cane fast enough to compensate.”

ANITA: “And I couldn’t see worth a damn. I feel so bad for that woman I ran into. Is she okay?”

ANDREA: “She’s fine. And you balanced your karma out by helping Amber Sharpe at the end there.”

ANITA: “Oh yeah she’s a sweet little old thing… although she’s the same age as I am isn’t she? The poor girl shat herself.”

ANDREA: “So we heard.”

Cut to Andrea with the 86 year old Bolgarka who is sitting in a wheelchair with a Hungarian flag draped over her saggy chest.

ANDREA: “How do you feel?”

BOLGARKA: “When I turn however old I turn to get these…”

She lifts her massive boobs up in her wrinkled hands and lets the shapeless blobs flop down again onto her belly with a big slap.

BOLGARKA: “I’m flying to America and getting a breast reduction.”

Cut to Andrea with Lissette Salinas who has the Ecuadorian flag around her young shoulders.

ANDREA: “You wasted a lot of time after becoming 17 again.”

LISSETTE: “Being an old lady was awful. I wanted to enjoy my youth. I knew I had no chance of winning at that point thanks to my bad hips in my old age.”

ANDREA: “What were you saying to Carolina Valentin as you were running beside her.”

LISSETTE: “Oh Carolina was teasing me before the race saying she was going to steal my boyfriend because she was a real woman and all of that. I was just telling her that my boyfriend doesn’t like women so old their tits dangle between their knees.”

ANDREA: “Uh huh. And where is your boyfriend now?”

The camera pans over behind them to a young Hispanic man in his early 20s putting his arm around the wrinkled bare stomach of 93 year old Carolina Valentin. The old woman with the Spanish flag draped over her crooked back is leaning in and obviously flirting with the young man 70 years her junior.

LISSETTE: “What the- Juan! Carolina! What the hell! She’s a decrepit old woman! Gross Juan!!”

Cut to Andrea standing over Federica Ferrari who is laying down on a cot with the Italian flag wrapped around her shoulders like a scarf as a group of young Italian men give her a full body message.

ANDREA: “Federica you had some struggles out on the field today, how do you feel.”

FEDERICA: “Not very good but these boys are making me forget how old and fat I am right now.”

ANDREA: “Who are these men?”

FEDERICA: “My mother’s boyfriends. They like older women and this was my one opportunity to take advantage. I’ve got about 45 years on her right now.”

ANDREA: “Well okay!”

Cut to Andrea with Barbara de Oliveira who is sitting in her motorized wheelchair and Ewa Cichoka who is standing next to her looking confused. Barbara has the Brazil flag laying across her wide lap and Ewa has the Polish flag wrapped around her bony shoulders.

ANDREA: “Tough breaks for both of you today. How are you feeling?”

BARBARA: “I should never have agreed to this. I feel terrible. I’m five times my normal size and everythings droopy. I can’t wait until I’m 19 again and can walk on my own!”

ANDREA: “How about you Ewa?”

Ewa flaps her wrinkled lips together saying something unintelligible, there are no teeth in her mouth. She sucks in her lips and drools a little then opens the flag to reveal she’s naked underneath. Her 89 year old body is pale and her tiny shriveled breasts slope down her visible ribcage looking like fried eggs. A curly patch of white hair is visible between her stick-like thighs and as soon as Andrea gasps a stream of urine begins flowing out from her aged vagina.

ANDREA: “Oh god, you’re having an accident Ewa. NURSE! Someone! A little help over here! We apparently have a senile 19 year old girl!”

Cut to Andrea standing beside 98 year old Airi Okuhara who is sitting with a Japanese flag draped over her tiny shriveled body. She is pulling rice out of a bowl with her crooked fingers and sticking it into her wrinkled mouth one grain at a time.

ANDREA: “Airi, you were the oldest competitor this year. Do you think your advanced age hurt you?”

AIRI: “I’m a bit hard of hearing now so you will have to speak up.”

ANDREA: “Did being older than everyone hurt you?”

AIRI: “We all became old. It was what we did with our age afterward that mattered.”

ANDREA: “You’re nearly 100 now, you’re normally about my age. Are you looking forward to going back to normal tomorrow.”

AIRI: “I’m only excited to get my youth back in order to continue training but I’ve actually quite liked this slower pace. You should try it.”

ANDREA: “Everyone has been offering but I think I’ll still pass.”

Cut to Andrea standing next to Elodie Prevot who is sitting miserably in a wheelchair with the French flag folded onto her wrinkled lap.

ELODIE: “Want to know what I think? I think this is bullshit. They couldn’t forsee something like this happening? I do not want to spend another minute in this decrepit body. My fiancé is waiting for me. He’s going to have to care for me all day and night now like I’m his grandmother until they can fix this and put us back to normal.”

ANDREA: “I’m sure he understands.”

ELODIE: “He shouldn’t have to understand. He’s engaged to a 23 year old girl. Not a wrinkled old woman. Look at what their machines have done to my body. I’m like a prune. This isn’t sexy. This isn’t appealing. Look at my shriveled tits. If you looked like this would you want to lay next to your 24 year old lover and have him hold your wrinkled body in his arms?”

ANDREA: “I see what you mean. But honestly a lot of your fellow competitors seem to be having fun with it. Everyone knows how young and beautiful you really are.”

Elodie scowls and spits on the ground then wheels away.

Cut to Andrea standing with 84 year old Ganna Levchenko who has the Ukrainian flag wrapped around her broad shoulders. Ganna, despite being in her 80s still gives off the shy insecurity of a young girl.

ANDREA: “Congratulations Ganna! Did you have any idea you would do this well coming into the competition?”

GANNA: “ I had dreamed but I didn’t expect. I was only a little girl and there were so many grown women competing.”

ANDREA: “Well you’ve grown up as well. Are you looking forward to going back to your 14 year old self tomorrow?”

GANNA: “I… my hope is that the officials honor my request to not be converted all the way back. I would like to remain an adult. I want to be grown and strong and compete for my country at the peak of my ability.”

ANDREA: “You don’t want to go back to being 14?”

GANNA: “No I hope that they can make me 24 or if they can’t I’d even settle for them reversing half and being 49 again. I enjoyed being 49. It made me feel powerful and womanly.”

ANDREA: “Ganna sweety. You should go back and experience your teenage years first.”

GANNA: “Today I have brought honor to my country and I want to continue to do so as an adult!”

Ganna stands proudly and defiantly. A 96 year old Blair Campbell hobbles over with the help of a walker. She speaks in a slow creaking voice with a strong Australian accent.

BLAIR: “Don’t be so quick to let go of your youth. Look at all of us. We’re walking examples of how fleeting it all is. I’m only 26 years old in peak shape, a top athlete of my country and in the blink of an eye I’m a pathetic old husk of my former self. You’ve got so many great years ahead of you. You won the bronze this year. If you go back to being 14, the next Chronathalon you’ll be 18 year old. The same age as the two women that placed ahead of you this year.”

GANNA: “I had not thought of it like that.”

Blair smiles and pats the 84 year olds back with her arthritic hand.

BLAIR: “Eh you’re still young. You have a lot to learn…”

Cut to Andrea attempting to interview Yulia Klishnokova who is sitting with nothing but a silver bikini covering her 88 year old body. Her wrinkled arms are folded above her pendulous breasts and she’s glaring straight ahead. An official comes over to steer Andrea away.

OFFICIAL: “Ms. Klishnokova is suspended from Olympic activity pending an investigation regarding the potential of illegal substances being taken during the competition.”

ANDREA: “Is she going to be allowed to become young again with the other girls tomorrow?”

OFFICIAL: “She will not be allowed to interact with any Olympic equipment until after the investigation pending the results and any appeals.”

ANDREA: “So Yulia is just going to have to spend the next year as an 88 year old woman.”

OFFICIAL: “At minimum depending on the results of the investigation.”

ANDREA: “Yulia! Do you have any comments on this?”

The old Russian woman gives Andrea a dirty look and then makes a lewd gesture at the camera before sulking back in her chair again.

BOB: “Andrea, ask Yulia about whether or not she’s still planning on making a new sex tape.”

ANDREA: “You’re disgusting Bob. And oh look! It’s time for the medals!”

Cut to the medal ceremony. Elderly Madison Coburn, Penny Bishop and Ganna Levchenko stand proundly on the dais and accept their medals around their loose turkey-waddle necks.

TERRI: “There you have the winners of the very first Olympic Chronathalon! Tune in tomorrow morning for special follow up coverage where the competitors become young again!”

BOB: “Hopefully none of them have a heart attack or anything in the meantime.”

TERRI: “Bob!”

BOB: “What? They’re really old! And a bunch of them are planning to drink and party and have sex like they are still teenagers!”

TERRI: “Thanks again for tuning in! We’ll see you next time!”

THE END

 

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