Tia, Baby

Chapter 1
The Beginning

Chapter Description: It all begins, as does my dry humor and numerous references to GIR and Carlito. I warn you, I don't watch the show often so some things may be a little off.

I don’t particularly like the show, so expect this to be a little off, but it should work out pretty well. As said, I don’t like the show too much, but I’ll admit that Tia is awesome. She’s also one of the only characters with a fairly normal name, and that’s always a plus. If you have a better name for this story, please tell me and I’ll probably change it immediately if it’s good and, of course, give credit. This first part is short but I the next part will be much longer. The only reason this is so short is because, you know, it’s a good point to leave off. In addition to the humor of seeing Tia dealing with three babies, you also get my own sense of dry humor in the narration, including a few inside-jokes using Recup, who will appear throughout the story.

Tia, Baby

“Ugh, this happens just every time we run into them,” Tia mumbles as she and Zatch stand in battle with a strange Mamodo in a hotel parking-lot. The creature looks a bit like what would happen if GIR were to have a kid with Carlito, and the result got high. Its reader also looks rather strange as he is a tall man wearing a blue suit of armor with a yellow pattern running along it, looking slightly similar to an insect. The man’s face is exposed, with him having long, golden hair and a face that is reminiscent of that of your average young actor and/or singer(and no, not like Falgore’s).

“I hate this stupid battling,” says the young man, “Recup, I think we should hit them with that attack and be on our way, hmm?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever!” replies the Mamodo, who, true to his appearance, talks in a quick upbeat Puerto-Rican accent in a GIR-ish voice.

“Good then. Alright then. Tevil!” The Mamado replies by blowing out a strange powder at the four. Tia gasps and jumps out of the way, but the other three are not quite as lucky. After the powder hits, smoke forms around them.

“Well then, I guess we’ll be seeing you,” says the young man as Tia just stares angrily.

“Oh come on! If you’re gonna beat us you could at least have the common decency to finish us off!”

“Sorry dear,” replies the man, “but I’m not into this whole fighting thing, and my friend here’s not into much of anything. Plus, hey, where’s the fun if you’re completely defenseless?”

“What’d you do anyway?”

“You’ll see,” replies Recup’s book-reader as the two walk away, “Don’t worry, they should be back to normal in 6 hours. It’s not a permanent thing.”

Six hours? wonders Tia upon hearing this. Isn’t that when Megumi’s concert starts?

Tia then turns around, noticing that the smoke is rapidly clearing. Upon seeing Zatch, Kiyo, and Megumi, she screams in terror.

“No... not that... not...” she angrily says before yelling out, “BABIES!”

Looking at the three infants sticking their heads out of the clothes that they wore while older, Tia looks absolutely shocked. I find this rather odd, as, come on, it’s anime; people are gonna go through crap way weirder than this all the time. Hey, she herself is a demon and all, so I don’t ge-

“Will you quit breaking the fourth wall?” she snaps before turning back to the three babies.

“Oh, now what am I gonna do?” she asks herself as she pulls Zatch off the ground out of the clothes. After getting him out, she takes a look at him and has only one thing to say...

“Ew, ew, EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!”

Zatch merely giggles at her reaction and then begins to put to use exactly what it was that freaked the female Mamodo out so much. Tia looks about to throw up as a stream of liquid begins to pour from the child onto her blouse.

“I”LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT, ZATCH! HOW DARE YOU-“ The Mamodo’s screaming is cut off by all three of the babies beginning to cry. Tia sighs, “Guess I’m going to find diapers for you little brats, not just for the sake of my clothes but my eyes too. Ugh.”

Tia begins to search through the clothes of Kiyo and Megumi for money, and soon manages to find some. Then, of course, she realizes she has a big problem.

“What am I supposed to do with them anyway? I doubt anyone would believe me if I tried to tell the truth, and I doubt a lie would work either... hmm...”

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Tia walks by a store, still trying to figure out what she can do with the three(she left their clothes in the hotel room before leaving). She then gets an idea as she spots... a dumpster. The girl runs over, still carrying all three of the infants, and looks around to make sure no one’s watching. She then lays all three inside and heads into the store.

Inside, Tia immediately runs through the aisles, searching for diapers, baby food, and anything else that she may need while going through He- err, babysitting. After finding a bunch of stuff, she takes it up to the front of the store and lays it all down on the counter.

“Aren’t you a little young to be buying stuff like this? And a little old to need it?”

“Well my frie- err, mom adopted a baby and she sent me here to buy this stuff. Heh heh,” she lies. She begins to sweat nervously as the cashier looks at her suspiciously.

“Well, alright,” he answers as she holds in a sigh, “That kinda thing’s understandable. Say, you look a bit like that girl who goes everywhere with that singer. What’s her name... oh, Megumi.” The man then begins to bag her stuff(boy, does that sentence sound wrong or what:P).

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” she answers before paying and leaving. She goes back around to the dumpster and is relieved to find that all three children are still there, though they do appear to have been playing in the trash. She pulls the three out and, along with the bag of stuff, runs back to the hotel room her and Megumi are staying in, being careful to keep the infants as hidden as possible. Inside, she promptly locks the door and lays all three down on a table. She then opens up one of the packs of diapers and pulls three out, then proceeds to carry out her reluctant cause.

“Might as well get Megumi done first so I have enough time to scream if Zatch or Kiyo does anything...”

The Mamodo sets out about her task, sighing once more. She spreads one of the diapers out underneath the singer, assuming this will be easy. She is sadly mistaken, however, as Megumi promptly begins kicking, squirming, and just about everything else within her power that she can do to annoy Tia. Of course, the fact that Tia doesn’t think to do something like, I dunno, HOLDING ONTO HER LEGS probably has something to do with it. Eventually, she does managed to get the girl diapered, and after a while manages to do the same with Zatch and Kiyo.

Having gotten all three of the babies diapered, Tia now sits down and sighs, finally taking the time to look at the clock.

“What? It’s only been 45 minutes? Oh, it feels like it’s been hours!” Tia flops back on the bed angrily, apparently planning on going to sleep. As soon as the Mamodo lays down however, she hears a voice yell out, “Hungry,” or at least as close to it as a baby can get.

“I was hoping that they’d be back to normal before I had to deal with something like this,” Tia mutters before reaching into one of the bags and pulling out three jars of food. She sets Kiyo on a table and gets to attempting to remove the lid from one of the jars, but finds it incredibly hard to do.

“Oh come on!” she moans, “Why is everything with a lid like this so hard to open?” The Mamodo grunts as she attempts to open it, all while the three babies merely babble and giggle like a bunch of, well, babies. Or perhaps special-ed kids. Hard to say. Speaking of which, why is it that everyone gets so touchy when someone says something like “retard” or “dedede” anyway? And for that matter, is “dedede” an adjective or a noun? Bah, back on subject, Tia keeps trying to open the lid. And trying. And trying. And trying.

“What is with these-“ she breaks off upon looking at the lid, which has instructions to open it, as it’s one of them child-proof lids. “Ah, come on!” The Mamodo finally manages to open the jar and soon sets out on her task of feeding the babies... sorta.

“Come on!” she yells at Zatch, having finished feeding Kiyo and Megumi already(both of whom are covered in baby food, thus showing you just how bad she is at this), while trying to shove a spoon into the baby Mamodo’s mouth.

“No!” he shouts back. Tia growls and, because I’m running low on stuff to do from here, lasps into a parody of that thing that girl on Naruto does. Why? Because I can!

Err... when they return to normal, I’ve gotta remember to make Zatch suffer for this!

Her thought is cut off when she sees Zatch yawn. Thinking quickly, the Mamodo shoves a large spoonful of the food into his mouth.

I’ll be lucky to make it outta this alive, she thinks while trying to get Zatch to eat more. Especially if it comes to- Her thought is cut off by the exact thing she was dreading the occurrence of occurring Kiyo start to cry and she smells something terrible.

"NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT KIYO!"

Kiyo looks at her for a second before simply replying between sobs, "Poopy!"