Seeking Security

Chapter 1
Seeking Security

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Chapter Description: Just an idea I had in a dream

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No matter how many times she hears this clock, it always relaxes her, throws her back to a time when she was safe, secure. When all was innocence and play, when the world was full of wonders.

“What’s your problem?” Her friend, Jayne, asks.

“No problem” Kiera replies, though there was a problem.

“You’ve been a right bitch all day, so there’s clearly a problem”

“There’s no problem” The clock was like the sound of rain to her, or of the waves of an ocean crashing onto the shore. But something was missing, something she didn’t want to admit.

“Let’s see, you almost kicked the cat out the window this morning, almost throttled a gang of badly raised teens while on the way to work and when you got back, you almost kicked the cat again when she jumped on your feet and meowed for attention, oh and about ten minutes ago you looked like you were going to punch a hole in the wall. It’s not your period, you’re not up the duff with a bun in the oven and we’ve got plenty of chocolate, so what’s the problem?” The cat, Miss Furry Boots, or Puss as she’s nicknamed, meowed as if saying ?Yeah, slave, what’s your bloody problem? I only wanted attention’.

Kiera sighs and stretches, she couldn’t tell her friend, not when she found it hard to admit to herself.

“Okay, fine. Be Miss Secretive Knickers, just worried about you”

“Don’t be, I’m fine, really” She bit back the truth from coming out, she didn’t feel fine, she felt lousy. But how could she tell her friend about what was bothering her?

Later that night, Kiera is sitting on her bed in her nightwear and looking at her reflection in her bedroom mirror. Her friend was asleep in the bedroom next to hers, and the cat was out hunting and whoring for the night.

“If I give in, I’ll be weak. I’m so tired of this, so tired of hiding the truth, so tired of repressing myself” Looking over at a box she had been given several months ago, she considers opening it and losing herself in what it held. But what would her friends think of her if she did? Would they say she was weak for giving in to her strongest yearning, to her most powerful need?

“I can resist, I have to resist. I’ve resisted many times before and I can resist now” Looking away from the box, Kiera gets under the covers and falls into a restless sleep.

A loud meow forces her eyes open and she tiredly looks into the beautiful eyes of Puss.

“Good morning, furr ass, better move if you don’t want to fly” Kiera slides the covers away, Puss jumping off with a slightly happy meow.

“Yes yes, food will be served shortly. If you weren’t so cute, I would be selling you to whoever likes cat burgers” An indignant meow answers her.

“Same to you” Puss heads off to the kitchen, her tail in the air, and after rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Kiera heads to the bathroom to relieve herself, washes her hands and heads to the kitchen.

“Nice knickers, Barbie suits you” Jayne comments as Kiera enters the kitchen.

“Amazing what you can make on your own”

“Yep, maybe you should just go the whole hog and wear nappies, much more suitable”

“Haha, really, you slay me”

“If I did that, I would have to be blonde with a piece of wood in my hands”

“You’ve had wood in your hands before, must have scared the moths shitless”

“At least I’ve had wood”

“Like I’ve said before, don’t care for it, might get splinters” Puss meows impatiently and Kiera pours cat mix into a bowl, Puss zooming towards the bowl at the speed of light.

“Humans might not have invented warp drive, but cats have had it for ages” Pouring herself a bowl of cereal and some juice, Kiera sits down at the table and begins eating, not tasting the cereal at all.

“Going to tell me what your problem is?” Jayne asks.

“Don’t start, not right now” Kiera replies through a mouthful of cereal.

“Is it to do with that box you got?” Kiera looks over at her friend.

“That’s none of your business”

“It is if it concerns a friend, ever since you got it, you’ve been going from bitch from hell to bitch from mega hell. Something’s up”

“Only thing that’s up is my temper if you keep asking about that box”

“Just tell me what’s wrong”

“Nothing’s wrong! Okay? NOTHING’S WRONG! Kiera looks down. “Aww fudge”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, be right back” Quickly getting up and grabbing a towel, she throws it onto the seat and rushes out of the kitchen before Jayne sees what’s happened. “I need to learn control, I need to learn control” She chastised to herself mentally as she rushed to the bathroom, as she enters it she hears Jayne yelling:

“Okay, if pissing yourself isn’t an indication that something’s wrong, then you’re one bad liar!” She could hear Jayne heading towards her, and she knew she was running out of excuses.

“Nothing’s wrong! Don’t come in here!” Jayne stops at the door, noticing it was slightly open.

“I’m not trying to be nosy, you’re clearly having problems, let me help”

“Nothing you can help with, let me deal with my own problems” Kiera grabs her intended target from a sealed section in the bathroom cabinet and hopes her friend doesn’t enter.

“I would if you weren’t a friend”

“Please, don’t enter” The door opens and Jayne walks in to find her friend with baby wipes in her hands.

“Kiera?”

“It’s...it’s...”

“Tell me what’s wrong, now” Looking into her friend’s worried eyes, Kiera sighs and mumbles something. “Didn’t catch that, no mumbling” Kiera takes a breath and repeats herself.

“I need security, I need to let go and stop being an adult” Jayne looks at her, then at the baby wipes.

“How exactly?”

“I’m older than I look”

“How old?”

“Oh, give or take about three hundred years or so” Jayne looks at her as if she’s crazy.

“But we met in school”

“I know, I was having my sixth childhood then”

“Your sixth? What are you?”

“I’m human, but I was cursed, or rather my entire family line was cursed, a long time ago”

“Cursed? What kind of curse?”

“We were cursed to revert to infancy once we hit a certain age. We would grow up again, then revert and go through it all over again”

“And I take it from your dour mood that you’re reaching that certain age”

“Aye, in fact I already reached it when I was given that box. I’ve not opened it because if I do, then I’ll be back to infancy”

“Can’t you destroy it?”

“No, it can’t be destroyed. If I don’t open it, then me and my entire family line will be cursed to remain as infants, without growing up again”

“I see. This is pretty weird”

“You think it’s weird? I’ve been through puberty six times!” Jayne picks up the baby wipes and looks at her friend.

“You’re losing control already, aren’t you? That little loss of control in the kitchen was one such example”

“Aye, and it’s only going to get worse”

“What’s going to happen first?”

“First a loss of control, then over the next few days I’ll become younger”

“So you need to be in nappies right now?”

“Aye”

“Well it’s weird and all, but you are a friend and now that I know you need help, I’ll help you. Got what you need?”

“In the bedroom”

“Then come with me” Taking Kiera’s hand, Jayne takes her friend into Kiera’s bedroom and Kiera shows her where everything is. “Anything else I should know?”

“If I open the box, everything will change. You’ll become my mother, my reality will change to match the reversion”

“How much of a mother?”

“Full, everything will change, your medical records, our past, everything”

“I take it you’ll be suckling from my tits?”

“Aye”

“Well I hope it will be tasty. Okay off with the knickers, let’s get you cleaned and padded” Taking a breath, Kiera lies down on the changing mat that had been laid out and Jayne proceeds to clean her friend up. As she does so, she continues to ask questions.

“So why was this curse placed on your family?” Jayne asks.

“My parents, my first parents, had offended a powerful family from an old country. The offence was so bad that the family felt in order to teach us a lesson on how to respect our elders, that we would forever be the youngest”

“How did you care for one another?”

“The curse works where the eldest would become the children first, then once the eldest grow back up, the formally youngest would become the youngest all over again”

“And you left your family I take it?”

“Aye, about ten years ago I decided to split from them. I had hoped I wouldn’t be found”

“Well I guess this curse has a way of keeping tabs, as for tabs, bum up” Kiera lifts her back end and a very soft, very thick adult sized nappy is slid under her. She lowers her legs and Jayne sprinkles powder on her, rubbing it in gently.

“I could just return to my family”

“You could, but I don’t think you would make it” Pulling the front of the nappy up between her friend’s legs, she secures it after making sure she has it just right, then after tucking in at the sides, she pats the nappy and helps her friend up. “There we go, one adult backside cleaned, powdered and padded. What next?”

“Next I should decide on if I should open the box and have a chance of growing up again or let myself return to infancy and be stuck like that”

“Either way I’ll look after you”

“But it’s not fair on you”

“I want to be a parent, so if it means changing my best friend’s nappies, then in for a penny, in for a pound. I’ll let you decide, I’ll be in the living room with Puss, who’s likely looking for someone to cuddle with” Jayne leaves the bedroom and Kiera stands there, in just a nappy and wrinkled nightwear top, an old t-shirt that says ?Well pat my ass, I’m f**king sexy’.

Looking over at the box, then at her reflection and seeing herself looking oddly cute, and a tad awkward, she thinks about her choice.

“One of these days, Puss, you’ll stop trying to chase that thing before you go jumping out of a window” Jayne comments as she watches Puss chase after a ball made of soft cotton that had been made by Jayne when they had gotten Puss, back when she had been a very hungry, very active kitten.

“I guess I’ve chosen” Kiera says as she enters the living room, her nappy crinkling as she walks in.

“Whatever you choose, I’ll look after you. What’s a friend for?”

“It’s not fair on you though”

“Life isn’t fair, and besides it might be a nice change of pace”

“I seek security due to this curse, to be loved and cared for”

“You will be, no problem there. Even if I don’t remember us being friends, you’ll at least be my little nappy bum” Kiera sits down and looks down at the box in her hands.

“It’s amazing how the mistakes of the past will always catch up to you”

“At least you get brief glimpses of the future, that’s better than nothing at all”

“You’re so calm about all of this”

“Aye, but I guess that’s because I’ve always cared about you. You might be older than my great grandparents, but you’ll still a kid at heart, and a kid in need”

“Then I guess...I guess I best do what I need to” Taking a breath and exhaling, Kiera opens the box.

That night: Jayne gently pats Kiera’s back, Kiera’s burping in reply and cooing, relaxing in her mother’s arms.

“There we go, one gassy baby all degassed. And stinky at that” Kiera giggles as her mother lays her down on the changing mat.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, then safe and secure in a new nappy” After cleaning Kiera and putting a clean nappy on her, Jayne gently rocks her daughter in her arms as she heads towards the crib.

“Sweet dreams, angel, mummy will keep you safe” Puss meows as if saying ?Don’t forget me, I’ll help, anyone tries to harm her and I’ll claw them into kitty nibbles!’.

Laying her down gently, Kiera coos, yawns softly and babbles. Jayne gently kisses her on the forehead and smiles down at her precious daughter.

“See you in the morning, sweetie” Kiera babbles some more, then yawns and her eyes close. As her mother leaves the room, Puss following after her, Kiera falls into a deep, restful sleep.

As Kiera sleeps, a small box appears in her cupboard, waiting for the next use.

*Note: I’m Scottish, so I write with British wording. Nappy is British for Diaper.

 

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